If I were a heretic, and facing her, I'd shoot myself. Far less trouble in the long run. You still die, but she doesn't get to fuck with your brain first.

She's actually a damn good example of the kind of inquisitor that would be scary as fuck. Crotchety and devoted, but still damn clever.

I admit I don't understand the headbees, however.

>>14247286
She managed to Borrow (Basically a Possess Animal power) a hive of bees once. It's referencing that.

>>14247286
>I admit I don't understand the headbees, however.
IIRC the ability to "borrow" a swarm was a plot point in a book.

Wikipedia tells me that she is Good, while not being nice.
It fits.

... What does she need ME for?

>>14247268
your face when that was her plan all along

>>14247290
>(Basically a Possess Animal power)
it's not limited to animals

>>14247313
....think she's gonna do that to A'tuin some day?

>>14247304
>Implying she is not secretly a disciple of Tzeentch.

>>14247322
...Secretly?

>>14247322
>Implying Tzeentch isn't secretly her disciple.

This is your Arbites.

>cornpop, oreelyze

>>14247347
This is your Scum

>>14247351
This is your psyker

This is your adept #500124634b.

He can be safely ignored. Probably.

>>14247357
He ends up accidentally the eye of terror.

>>14247347
>>14247351
>>14247357
Again, what use am I?
And what about Angua? She a deathword arbites? Is that even valid...

>>14247367
Adeptas Sororitas version of Spehss Wolves.

>>14247367
>Your scum is Nobby Nobbs.
>Your psyker is Rincewind.

The competence bar isn't precisely set very high here. Vimes is basically the only other member of the team that can do shit.

>>14247316
She wouldn't.

>>14247375
Oh, one of the Shield Maidens that haven't been in a codex in ages?

>>14247376
Yet they've never failed a mission!
Besides, Carrot will get thrown in there too, and the mark will skyrocket.

>>14247381
you can bet your tits she would
if she had to

>>14247376
Nah, they're far past incompetent. They're so incompetent that they end up at the other side of extreme competence. By doing stuff accidentally.

rolled 9 = 9

>>14247389
>Carrot Ironfoundersson.


He's clearly a Living Saint in the making. Possibly the reincarnation of the Emperor himself, raised in secret by a cabal of Squa-

>>14247407
>Emperor Carrot
Oh shit.

>>14247351
No, no, no...
This is your scum.

>>14247416
You know it to be true!

>>14247423
When the HELL is that coming over here to the US? I loved Hogfather and Going Postal was one of my favorites.

>>14247376

Vimes keeps Nobby around because he can be downright vicious in a fight if he's cornered or he thinks he's going to win.

Rincewind is just worthless and doesn't have even a single bit of the "hero trapped inside a coward" deal.

>>14247436

Nobby's also devious, and along with Fred, they've got extremely wide ranging contacts. They're both also got excellent street smarts.

>>14247423
...And that's how the Administratum was fixed.

rolled 8 = 8

>Moist Von Lipwig

>Imperial Bureaucracy

Oh lawd.

He's either going to get himself killed for heresy or revive the Imperium into a thriving, egalitarian empire that will smash it's enemies like a truck.

>>14247467

He survives because the head of the Assasin's temple is watching over him, and the Dark Age of Technology Combat Servitor that's with him at all times.

>>14247436
>Rincewind is just worthless and doesn't have even a single bit of the "hero trapped inside a coward" deal.
Yet I've lost count of how many times he's saved the world, destroyed evil kings/tyrants/creatures too horrible to contemplate, or blundered his way into being a hero.

This is your Rogue Trader.

>>14247475
This is your arch militant

>>14247473
What happens when Rincewind meets this guy?

>>14247472
Time To Get Up, Master Lipvig!

>>14247482
They both sit down, have drinks, and tell improbable yet true stories all night. And a million slash fics are born.

>Rincewind is just worthless
Filthy lies
>doesn't have even a single bit of the "hero trapped inside a coward" deal.
He is no coward, sir. He just chooses his battles wisely.

>>14247490
And then they stumble into trouble and inexplicably save the galaxy in the process.
Also, what happens when Jurgen meets Foul Ole Ron?

>>14247495
No he... he;s a self admitted coward. He runs whenever he can, and sometimes when he can't.
Doesn't stop him from saving the day, iof only by accident.
Wait... have you been reading "What I did on my Holiday?"

>>14247502
He says "Hi dad."

>>14247502
They both get weirded out and leave the other alone.
Jurgen: "What a disgusting fellow."
Ron: "Bugrem bugrem, fryin me brain with rays, I said I said I said, I tole em! Evil men from mars, I said I said I said, not my fault, I said..."

>>ionod mysterium

>>14247502
gaspode tells them both to be friends and then they share a sausage or two

>>14247515
>Bugrit. Millenium hand and SHRIMP I tells 'em.

>>14247521
He varies the cant a lot. That's just his 'catch phrase', for lack of a better term.

>>14247479
>This is your Avatar of Kaela Mensha Khaine
fixd

>>14247537
I'd imagine Cohen more like leading his Silver Waaaagh! and putting together a huge band of orks due to sheer charisma after settling his score with the gods.

>>14247506
Yes, Rincewind saved the world a dozen times BY ACCIDENT. One man in a funny hat saves the world on multiple occasions, while not even trying to do so.

>>14247479
Even Khorne would back off from this fight.

>>14247490
Actually I'd imagine rincewind would run the shit away from him due to the evil looking sword he has a habit of carrying around

>>14247475
This is your seneschal

>>14247548
Well, truth be told, your 40k Cohen the barbarian would be Cohen the barbarian with a longer beard, doing Cohen stuff, because he's fucking awesome.

>>14247551
When he confronted a miracle-maker with a sock, that was no accident
When he went all physical on posessed secretery that was no accident at all
When he understood how God's yo-yo worked and used it... you get the drilll

>>14247558
He would fit in with the orks leading the biggest Warband ever, what with all their common differences and all.

>>14247554
I wonder if Khorne knows about rule 1?

>>14247537
>This is your new Champion of Khorne.
>FTFY

>>14247563
He is not really Khornite. He is not enough concerned about blood and skulls, and way too much about the loot. He really is either an Ork or a Rogue Trader employee.

>>14247563
Cohen could be one of the missing primarchs, and his legion is the Silver Horde.

>>14247579
Like I said....Arch Militant.

>>14247587
Yeah, but at least the Arch Militant of the Haarlock main ship.

>>14247475
If he exists in the galaxy, then other versions of Dibbler would spring up everywhere.

This is your Lord General

>>14247624
So basically your average Lord General in the Guard, then?

>>14247623
So will we meet "Shootan me own fut Dublah" and "In the name of the Greater Good D'bl'h?"

>>14247495
>>14247436
Rincewind isn't a hero trapped inside the body of a coward, he's a coward trapped inside the body of a coward, who happens to save the day. That makes him a much more interesting hero then the dozens of 'so-called-cowards' who are actually brave and heroic.

>>14247554
Actually it is. This is officially my next Rogue Trader character

>>14247663
Do tell us how it goes...that sounds like fun.

rolled 71 = 71

>>14247655
>>14247436
He's got a fragment of heroism inside him, but only acts on it when it's ALSO the best chance of his own, personal survival.

>>14247584
The Silver Horde is coming.

Morale was low so far, as were supplies and chances of reinforcements coming in. The campaign on Gustavos IX was going on for over a decade, and was yet to bring a single gain for the Imperium. For now the traitor forces swelled so much, that just holding the starport and command bunker could be treated as a victory.

And then came the message. The Silver Horde is coming. His Angels of Death ready to cleanse this world of traitors and save the besieged loyal forces.

When the day came a single strange vessel appeared in orbit. It was, as far as he could tell through the occulus, gold. The array usually used as a Nova Cannon had a grappling hook the size of a skyscraper sticking out of the barrel. The armored prow was bearing the motto of the Silver Horde, a saying from an arcane language, letters that dwarf houses composed of fist sized jewels pressed into the golden hull. "Yu gun git it!", for sure a warding prayer. The vessel did not open fire on the heretic's positions, all it did was transmit coordinates and time for the battle for domination over Gustavos IX.

When the time came a massive heretical force was prepared - hundreds of thousands of cultists, tanks, countless artillery batteries, even a daemonic creature here or there. To meet that the Silver Horde deployed a single, solitary drop pod. For a moment general Tomyv thought he saw one of the drop pod doors missing and a man waving at the enemy with his... No. That'd be impossible.

>>14247693
So he's the reincarnation (Preincarnation?) of Ciaphas Cain?

>>14247697
...The Silver Horde is ORKS!

>>14247708
No, the Silver Horde is a Space Marine chapter so small and so powerful it makes the Grey Knights look like Gaunts.

This is your High Lord of Terra.

rolled 35 = 35

>>14247698
Pretty much. Like Cain, when faced with death while running and death while doing something heroic, he'll be a goddamn hero.

For example, facing down oblong horrors from the Dungeon Dimensions with a goddam SOCK full of SAND

He'd still be killed if he let them take the sourcoror who's name I can't remember, but he managed to save the world while doing that.

>>14247730
Well, the Assassin temples DO have a representative in the High Senate of Terra, don't they?

This is your Nightbringer

rolled 89 = 89

>>14247729
The Silver Horde went and took over a splintered Tau planet that had reverted to killing each other after the Ethereals died, by force of arms of 9 Marines.

>>14247749
And then dumped it to go kick the Eye of Terror in the nuts with cyclonic torpedos.

This is your Canoness.

>>14247770
>Silver Horde
>any form of ranged weaponry
laughingvetinari.jpg

This is your Apothecary

rolled 68 = 68

>>14247791
>any form of ranged weaponry
>implying surfing cyclonic torpedoes into the Eye of Terror is technically a ranged weapon

>>14247796
If Imperial at all, Igors are AdMech. But most probably they are the Dark Mechanicus, who tampered a lot with Nurgle, Necrons and maybe some other stuff.

>boris, entarri
No, captcha, it's Igor and Vetinari.

>>14247803
And then they were resurrected by sheer badassery and kept adventuring through the Warp.

>>14247819
Adeptes Biologis?

>>14247357
Actually, in our current Deathwatch campaign, that's an NPC Techpriest who the Battle-Brothers dragooned into coming along with them to maintain their equipment in the absence of a Techmarine. The only real difference being that he's actually competent.

>>14247835
Female Space Wolf versus female Blood Angel?
>nb4 female space marine rage

>>14247259
Pffft. All she´s got is persuasion. One bullet, and it´s done.

I never liked Granny never being contradicted or simply kicked into the dust. It´s just stupid that EVERYONE obeys her. I know it´s for narrative purposes and humour but... no. Just no.

>>14247803
Torpedos don't have a reverse gear and all. You need to get back after you loot the Impossible Fortress

What about the Nac Mac Feegles, then?

>>14247819
Nah, Igors are an offshoot of the Adeptus Mechanicus Biologos that have taken the Admech's habit of mechanical augmentations and combined it with the Biologos' veneration of life-as-a-machine.

Nothing is wasted. Every body contains within it some parts which are indispensably precious. True masterworks of the Omnissiah, built right into the sacred flesh of mankind. He gives us these gifts out of his infinite mercy and grace, and in his wisdom, has placed them in all different bodies so that mankind would have to find them ourselves, and in so doing become more wise ourselves.

PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH AND PASS UNCLE IGOR'S OLD LIVER!

>>14247843
I doubt the Horde cared much.

>>14247839
>implying Granny Weatherwax has time to bleed, get blown apart or die when she's busy

>>14247839
Her one weapon is persuasion and psyker powers. Er...Her two weapons are persuasion, psyker powers, and insane willpower. Her three weapons...Let me start again.

>>14247472
Wouldn´t. Shadow backup or no shadow backup, causing any sort of change in the Imperium is dangerous at best, suicidal at all other times. And a combat servitor is no use against an inquisitorial rosetta. Unless you want to get yourself labeled Excomunicate Traitoris Extremus of cours.

>>14247865
His dating a girl that could have been a Sister of Battle if she hadn't become a Techpriest won't help?

>>14247839
You know, the ` mark isn't the right punctuation there. You're looking for the apostrophe, not the acute accent mark.

>>14247865
Sir, you forget.
He's Moist von Lipwig.

rolled 41 = 41

>>14247839
In one of the books, GW grabbed a sword with her bare hand, just to make a point.

She didn't bother bleeding until after she went home, where she had a stitching kit ready and antiseptic.

She'd take your bullet through and through, and only bother to bleed after taking you to pieces (mentally) and then going back for medical aid.

Not to mention in the first book she defeats a wizard in a show of actual, magical power.

>>14247848
They are still the Dark Mechanicus, since they modify the sacred structure of the human body (lots of thumbs etc.)

>>14247852
See? This shit. This shit is what I mean. Carrot and Her. You can't just *decide* the rules of common sense and physics don't apply to you. It's... aagh, it's amusing in Discworld context, but It makes them very uninteresting characters when transported into other settings, because they win everything, forever, by force of will. It's stupid. And no real contest.

>>14247882
Then just sign Excommunica traitoris on "A man, about 6' tall, with a face"

>>14247885
In other words, a scary powerful psyker who is smart enough to only use her powers when there's no other choice.

>>14247894
Which is why Carrot is Vime's sidekick and why Granny has been quietly retired from main stage. They are overpowered and possibly a bit Sueish. The author knows this and made them that way deliberately, and has taken steps to stop them taking over the story.

>>14247896
Moist von Lipwig is the Unknown Heretic?

>>14247878
Nope. Trying to reform the Administratum? You might as well throw yourself of a cliff while holding a notebook, and hope it will break your fall.

Change is not appreciated. Efficiency is though, so if he wasn't too heretical about it (No new technologies, just reorganization and different methods) Maybe he could reform one world. Of course, he'll make a lot of enemies in higher Administratum and government levels, so he better not get stopped by an Arbites patrol in a dark alley somewhere.

These guys are your inquisitors.

>>14247881
Not all of us are Americans and have languages with apostrophes. But just to please you, I reset my keyboard to have apostrophes. Fucking happy, pedant?

>>14247916
...Jokaero Librarians?

Detritus would be an Ogryn Bone'ead.

>>14247910
> Efficiency is though, so if he wasn't too heretical about it (No new technologies, just reorganization and different methods)
you don't need any new tech. Just get rid of the fucking Departamentum Munitorium Redundancy Department of Redundancy.

>>14247921
>Implying Jokaero can be made into space marines.

rolled 24 = 24

>>14247896
Something like that. She'd be a very effective inquisitor, if only she was adjusted to be a tiny bit more grim to fit in with 40k.

>>14247882
>implying psykers don't exist

The Inquisition routinely picks up heretics far better at disguising themselves than him, including Daemons posing as men and other such shit. A disguise? The Arbites can see through that with their Cyber Mastiffs.

>>14247919
To be fair, I could be Canadian, Australian, Irish or British as well. But yes, I am happy that you're not crudely bashing my mother tongue into submission any longer.

>>14247927
>Ook!

rolled 74 = 74

>>14247926
If you got rid of the Departamentum Munitorium Redundancy Department of Redundancy, you'd remove half of the backup reinforcement support to imperial planetworlds. Redundancy is good when you've got xenoaliens in unknown inestimable quantities.

The Departamentum Munitorium Redundancy Department of Redundancy is there for a reason, and that's the reason it's there for.

>>14247933
You don't get it. He's Moist von Lipwig.

>>14247940
Well, now I've gotta go get Rogue Trader.

>>14247933
>Implying Moist isn't a latent psyker using the "forget me" power unconciously.

>>14247921

Don't use the J-word!

Carrot got himself severely wounded when he tried to fight a werewolf according to Marquis de Fantailler rules.

Vimes had to step in and kill it using headology

>>14247926
That's Heresy. Even thinking a body of the glorious Imperial government is unnecessary? Fucking Heresy boy.
Actively trying to get rid of it? Whatever your intentions, you will be judged by your actions. So prepare to ask a chaos cult for shelter because the Arbiters are after you. And the Sisters. And possibly the PDF, if the Administrator is in a hurry.

>>14247934
How about you go be ethnocentric somewhere else, and bash l337 kids instead? At least there you have a legitimate complaint. And there seem to be more and more on /tg/. Asshole.

In a million-to-one chance, Rincewind and Ciaphas Cain accidentally the Eye of Terror and run into even more trouble accidentally eliminating the entire tyranid hive fleet and shutting down all Necron tomb worlds.

>>14247971
I'd read it.

rolled 98 = 98

>>14247949
>Carrot got himself severely wounded when he tried to fight a werewolf according to Marquis de Fantailler rules, and by doing so made sure the OTHER unspoken king (the wolf) and competitor for Angua's attentions, gets killed off by trying to fight second. The fact that Vimes had to kill it afterwards was secondary.

>>14247648
Crush-Me-With-A-Monolith Dib'lr
Smash-me-own-teef-out Diblar
Accuse-me-of-heresy Dibbolus
May-I-Eat-My-Own-Biomass D1BLR

>>14247975
I wouldn't. The resultant abomination wouldn't resemble 40k in the slightest. A perfectly happy universe with no Primordial evils or massive swarms with an imperative to eat all living things?

Nah, might as well read star wars. No thanks.

>>14247984
>Smash-me-own-teef-out Diblar

Hm... but wouldn't that result in a net loss? Seeing as Teef are money, he might as well be giving his customers money. This is no real Dibbler! His blood is too diluted with empathy!

>>14247984
Smash-my-own-Soulstone Dhibblher
Shove-a-spike-through-my-arm Dhblr

Blunt-me-own-choppa Dibblagh

D'Blah the Ravager

>>14247971
>At which point they draw the things they Tyranids are running from and make even more trouble than before.
Fix't.

>In the name of the Greater Good D'bl'h

I laughed more than I should have, and this is now a Water Caste merchant for my ROgue Traders to run into.

>>14248015
>>14248010
>>14248000
>>14247997
>>14247984
Totally going to put this in my next DH game.

rolled 31 = 31

Throw-me-into-demonpits-Dibbers.

Spilling-my-own-blood Dhablar

What happens when Nobby Nobbs steals from the Blood Ravens?

>>14248167
They steal some golems from the Guard.

>>14248167
They steal it back.
And then Nobby steals it.
And then the Blood Rehvens will steal it.
...Fuck, now you've created a neverending loop.

>>14248167
He's made an honorary Blood Raven and ushered in the general direction of other relics.

>>14247933
It isn't psychic. He isn't using tricks, or magic, or anything special at all. That's just it. He's so unspecial that it's impossible to remember anything about him that he doesn't WANT you to remember.

It's like you gave him 15,000 exp and he used it to buy the "Unremarkable" talent one hundred and fifty times.

rolled 2 = 2

>>14248255
>implying that it won't be the psykers that find him, rather than him being the psyker

>implying to the other guy that his mind's so twisted the outside is so smooth psyker scryings just slide right past him

There is only one man who can find Moist Von Lipwig when he doesn't want to be found.

He found him, killed him, and gave him a job.

>>14248285
And that man has plans that would put Tzeentch to shame.

>>14248285
And someone seems to have suggested him for High Lord of Terra(>>14247730)

Seems Moist Von Lipwig can do this after all.

>>14247363
I don't see any particularly exciting future for hi-

>>14248342
And what would Adora Belle be?

>>14247984
>May-I-Eat-My-Own-Biomass D1BLR
Biomass? In-a-bun?
>>14247996
Has Dibbler Ever cut his own throat? It's just a "grantee" for his product.

>>14249411

Adora? Probably exactly what she is now, a Servitor rights activist, whose organization purchases servitors, then leases them for use by others, and uses the gained profit to purchase more servitors...

Granted, she can put a spiked heel through black carapace armor, but that's just *her*.

>>gu'alo noncom

Er, capatcha seems to be considering putting her in the fire caste as a simple soldier... this is worrying.

bump