No, No, and No.

Space Yiffs, being colossal fucking canon-sues, are the exception to everything... Including the Inquisition, the Imperium itself, and what they 'can' and 'can't' do as spess mehreens.

>>14425358
Well thats disappointing.

>>14425358
>>Space Yiffs, being colossal fucking canon-sues, are the exception to everything... Including the Inquisition, the Imperium itself, and what they 'can' and 'can't' do as spess mehreens.

Space yiffs have an explanation (in the novels at least, not sure if in the codex) that is basically "There is a MAGIC HERB that grows on fenris (presumably) that supresses the organoid that gives Space Marines their improved toxin resistance."

Now, the question is: Why haven't their enemies picked this up and used it as part of their toxin based weapons?

I seem to remember reading a short story (really short) about how the space wolves would compete in drinking contests.
The goal was to become drunk, as they would have to defeat their own toxin-immunity, or something like that.

... this was many years ago, so it's possible that it's been ret-conned.

>>14425381
cause they can't land on fenris and get the herb off the planet without being killed.

>>14425389
Yeh originally in the 1st codex it was something like they drank till they were drunk and for a space marine this means all the alcohol in an average pub each.

>>14425393
You know, besides all the times (in "canon" novels) that enemies of the imperium have actually done just that.

>>14425389
I think that that is still in there.
Doesn't the Canis Helix make them impervious to physical corruption, or something?

>>14425358
You act like the Space Wolves aren't the most awesome of the Space Marines.

>>14425410
I've read of fenris being invaded but no one has defeated the spacewolves on their home planet. Also who is going to invade a chapters home world for a herb.

>>14425419
Thousand Sons are better.

>>14425422
Arguably, you could mix it with more common poisons and use it against other space marines.

<- read the space wolf omnibus (plural? there was two of them)

Apparantly space wolf mead (read alcohol) is so strong that it is capable of overpowering space marine physiology and makes them drunk, HOWEVER:

1) this does not last for very long, and they don't get hangovers as a result of how quickly their body does process the alcohol, even though it gives them a buzz for a few hours.

2) they do warn chapter serfs etc not to drink it, and according to fenrisian mythology there are many stories about "dont touch the drink of the gods, lest it kill you" - which is referring to the fact that if normal people drink alcohol that strong, it will flat out kill them from severe alcohol poisoning.

I recall a story in one of the White Dorf mags claiming that the Emperor had a drinking contest with Leman Russ, and it was pretty much the most epic thing to happen in the galaxy. Then they got into a bar fight where Emps socked Russ in the face with his REALITY-DISTORTING POWER FIST and Russ got right back up from it.

I don't care if it's Sueish, that's the most awesome thing to ever happen in Warhams.

Yes and No. No. No,

Normally a Space Marine can't get drunk. However Space Wolves can, for the simple reason they're vikings. They developed brew that would allow them to get drunk, it's so much that it could kill a normal person. Even this doesn't last very long.

They can't become Alcoholics because of indoctrination and just their general chemical makeup is different. Most cultures didn't have Alcoholics, only is it an epidemic in places where it's viewed as a social taboo but also a social norm. So this leads to binge drinking which leads to a chemical dependency on the substance.

The space wolves drink, Mjod, is a concentrated, custom brewed poison. If an ordinary human drank it, they'd die.

In theroy any chapter could create such a brew, but only the Yiff Marines are 'special' enough to care.

>>14425432
space marines can already get slain by poisons. They don't have an immunity to all toxins just the common ones.

>>14425455
to add you can shoot a spacemarine with a hundred darts of the most potent lethal (common) poison ( ie some sort of venom) and it'll cause them to go to sleep.

You have to admit, an alcoholic marine would be funny.

>>14425448
Actually considering Space Wolves are one the few chapters that don't isolate themselves form their former lives, and those lives involved mead halls and feasts...etc. They're Space Vikings man, it's what they do.

Ultramarines try to distant themselves from their formal culture while reforming their stretch of space. If anything they're more Mary Sue, because apparently every world in the Ultramar region is under their control. These worlds are all self sufficient that raise competent PDF forces, all are Forge Worlds and Hive Worlds but they don't pollute the environment and everyone is generally more well off.

Stark contrast to the Space Wolves that while they protect their world, they care not of the squabbling of the tribes. Hell it's part of their recruitment stage to recruit those who've fallen in battle. While they brew alcohol that's capable of getting them drunk, it doesn't last long and it plays a part of their culture.

Do space marines have dicks? Does the canon record them jerking it? Are there gay space marines? Are there normal humans who get gay for the space marines? Are there any gay people in the WH40K universe at all other than slaanesh? Is Slaanesh even gay?

>>14425510
No, No, No, No, Yes, No

>>14425440
Yeah, but do you really think that the Big E would try to kill one of his sons and inevitable future generals over a petty tavern brawl? To a mere man it may have been a reality bending blow, but to the Emperor it was nothing more than a pimp-sap.

>>14425510
What no stop THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEER YOU FAGGOT

>>14425490
Drunk Angr Marines?

>>14425486
Actually, if they have that organ that completely neutralizes and stores poison for later use then you'll just be giving them a weapon to use against you later.

>>14425522

What do they do with their dicks when they become space marines? Do they do sexual stuff anyways, sans dick? What about the Sisters of Battle? Do Chaos marines regrow their dicks? Who are the gay people in 40k universe? Is there any sexuality whatsoever in 40k or is it basically a chaste, fascist 12 year old's fantasy of power and violence?

>>14425527
You just say that because you haven't had enough beer...

>>14425539
They use their dicks to piss you fucking idiot. Now quit shitting up the thread.

>>14425522
Yes they have dicks, fuck off and go read some more no where does it says they dont, there just infertile

>>14425539
>Is there any sexuality whatsoever in 40k or is it basically a chaste, fascist 12 year old's fantasy of power and violence?
If there was sexuality then it would be a chaste, fascist 13 year old's fantasy of power and violence (but not chaste by choice).

>>14425539
Well nothing becomes of their dicks. However they're indoctrinated to resist sexuality. At least in Space Wolves the main character who's still very young Space Marine (Blood Claw) was very much in love with this Lady Inquisitor. However he pushed all notions aside to carry out his duties as a Space Marine, including leaving her to sacrifice herself to activate an ancient Eldar device that imprisons an Great Unclean One.

>>14425559

Astute.

>>14425510
>>14425539
>>14425546
>>14425558

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Progenoid_Glands

Is their still tv and video games in the grimdark future? What about restaurants and fast food joints? Could a couple of Sphess Mahreen buds run out to 40k Burger King and grab a grimdark burger? Do orks have restaurants? Would an ork restaurant resemble an old dinner with a greasy cook?

>>14425558

OK, why are they infertile? Is that a 40k thing in general? Like, there's so much radiation and toxic waste and chaos floating around that your boys don't swim unless the EMPEROR wills it? Or do they cut off their balls when they join the Space Marines? Or are they worried about Space Marines starting their own chapters, so only the Primarchs are allowed to feed their seed to young boys?

>>14425536
Which is why you add the herb so that the lethal (common) poisons kill them, rather then knocking them out.

>>14425589

These are great questions. As far as I know: No, No, No, Yes, Yes

>>14425596
Not a big 40k reader, but im guessing all that augmentation must be hell for your sperm count. They are probably pumped full of so many chemicals, drugs and sharp bits of metal that their sperm just couldn't deal.

>>14425539
Sisters of Battle aren't chaste, it never said anything about them being chaste. Some might be chaste due to a minor religious order. However I'd assume that majority do have sex, otherwise their wouldn't be enough applicants to go to Schola.

Chaos depending on the god probably do have sex however they also see themselves as beyond human so laying with a mere human would be disgusting. However there is the Daemoncaubla which is just a breeding machine. Slaaneshi CSM would probably have sex but it's an extreme sex while doing drugs, and painting the masterful painting in their off time.

>>14425589
BROTHER RAMIRICUS, USE YOUR HOLY SMOKESCREEN TO DEFEND THE BURGER-HIVE! FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>14425584
>>14425584
>>14425584
>From your link
>Chapters with known gene-seed flaws:
>Salamanders: Onyx black skin and bright red eyes. (Malfunctioning Malenochrome gland)

HAHAHA holy shit so the only black people in the 40k universe are freaks of nature? Wow, GW sure knows its audience.

>>14425601
>Yes, Yes
Oh god, I wish I still had the image I made for an Ork dinner, I can't really remember the title of it, Squig something. Ahg, damn computer crashes

>>14425601
According to Cain, there totally is at least TV and I doubt there are no vidya games in the entire galaxy.
Yes to the second, from multiple BL sources.
The third is pushing it.

>>14425596
The boys probably do swim, however they isolate themselves from normal humans as much as possible. Also they all go under indoctrination that decreases their sexual urges and channels it into "divine righteousness". Aka they give them blue balls to fight harder.

After all Space Marines are the protectors of Mankind not the rulers or inheritors.

>>14425618
BROTHER TIRUS, THEY ARE ALL OUT OF EMPEROR SMOOTHIES, WOULD YOU LIKE A GOLD THRONE APPLE PIE INSTEAD?

>>14425624
There's other black people, just that Salamanders are BLACK BLACK, think of the darkest African. Now they're a few shades DARKER. Then you add in the red eyes. You got Space Drow that play with fire.

>>14425629
If theres TV, vidya games and fast food I can totally see a gang of Slaanesh cultists sitting in a room full of bean bag chairs, gaming for days on end, watching mind numbing amounts of tv and shoveling greasy food into their heretical faces

>>14425663

Oh yeah? Who are the other black people? Why not just say "they're black, deal with it." Also, the paint jobs I see make them look African.

This thread makes me want to see a new game line: you play as the owner of a fast food restaurant in the grimdark of the 40k universe, dealing with Inquisitorial health inspectors and keeping chaosians out of your larder while making sure not to incur the wrath of hungry space marines. For in the 41st millenium, we are open 24 hours a Terran day!

>>14425672
If you look at Imperial Guards there are black people amongst the fodder.

>>14425672
There's a few scattered around, primarily with the Catachans (because of Vietnam, see).

>>14425680
THESE GREASE TRAPS HAVE NOT BEEN EMPTIED IN THE LAST 10 MINUTES AND I SEE A SPECK OF DUST ON THAT CORNER *BLAM BLAM BLAM*

>>14425609

Wow, hot. So what you're telling me is that the Sisters of Battle are really an army of single moms who are so manically career-oriented that they just adopt all their kids out? Are there any actual Sister of Battle moms? Has there ever been a portrayal of motherhood in the 40k universe that doesn't involve weird Tyrannid breeding pods?

>>14425672
because salamanders are not black. Deal with it.

>>14425693
>hot
If you find sex with a man faced, scarred beast of a woman who could rip you in half if she so pleased and is probably unresponsive during sex because her body is a female shaped mass of scarred tissue and shrapnel wounds then sure, it's hot.

>>14425672
Different planets have different environments. Usually they're one environment worlds as most the varying worlds have probably been used up as Hive Worlds or Forge Worlds. However there's Jungle Planets and what not, so if you look at it, there's huge variety of skin color. However since most the artist are white, they tend to draw white people.

>>14425715

I like their bangs and bowl cuts, and the fact that they put the fleur-de-lys on everything makes me think they wouldn't shave their armpits, which is also hot.

>>14425717
not at you but its very annoying the equality police keep moaning about no black people in 40k and accusing the artists writers and every other person involved in the gw hobby being part of a massive "raciss" conspiracy. Its truly fucking insane. The setting just doesn't warrant africans. A lot of the fluff is based on real world civilisations.Thus there is no real life material to draw from in portraying 40k africans.
Deal.with.it.

>>14425693
Most of the motherhood/sex thing is in background. It has no place in a wargame for instance, and the novels deal with war. However it never really discouraged the idea either.

So I would impose that a SoB job is to guard shrines and wage war for the Emperor. This leaves little time for raising a family, so I impose that it's their job to get pregnant then report to AdMech. I'm sure they then take the child, put it into an artificial womb stitch the SoB up and send her on her way. While they take care of raising the child for birthing. Then when it's born it's handed over to Schola. There they're raised to be the best Imperial Citizens they could possibly be.

>>14425749
>real world civilizations
>therefore, no Africans

Like I said, GW knows its audience.

>>14425589
EMPEROR DAMMIT, I ORDERED ONIONS, NOT TOMATOES!
*BLAM*

>>14425770
The real world?

>>14425671
The comfiest bean bag chairs, constant Doom LAN parties involving billions of denizens of the Eye of Terror with new maps every day, the most delicious fast food imaginable by man or warp beast alike...

I think I just went heretic.

My guess when it comes to race in 40k is that there is barely anymore race, just human. Over the centuries when humanity was joined together under the Emperor, racist ideals and barriers broke and interracial couples increased. By the time the 41st century comes around, humanity is one solid gene pool, all races having come(no pun intended) together, the few colored individuals possibly having rare genetics or soemthing.

>>14425780
According to?

I wonder what kind of vidya they have in thr 41st millenium...
Will Duke Nukem Forever II come out by then?

>>14425780
i'm pretty sure everyone in 40k is European even the white scars and its nice that way.

>>14425780
your multiculturalist fantasy =/= 40k fluff.

>>14425680
Iron Chef: 40k

SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS EMPRAH BURGAHS.

AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.

THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!

WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!

>>14425749
Yea. It's silly, let people draw what they want. As said, majority of the artists are white, and ethnocentrism usually dictates how we look upon something. So being white they tend to draw more white people than say a non European white person.

Still there's still a few that have been made into minis. Tallarans are space arabs, Catachans are probably all tan as hell...etc. However I do agree that equality police should just stop trying to force artificial equality upon fantasy settings.

>>14425787
World of Heresycraft
Tomb World Raider
Agriworldville
Get me some ideas, anon!

>>14425779
Slabs of meat thicker than your arm, cooked to sinful perfection with just the right seasonings.

Fresh, steamy buns, right out of the oven, made from the highest quality ingredients, that beautiful golden color on the crust

Dripping strips of crispy bacon, glimmering in it's own juices, beautiful strands of juicy fat combined perfectly with the gorgeous brown meat

Perfect slices of the most fancy cheese imaginable, layered thick and melted till they drip over the bottom half of the bun

Crispy fresh lettuce just picked and bright red, wet tomatoes, that is if you want them on

All set together with a box of fresh potato wedges, no pussy little string fries, thick, steaming chunks of spud, fried to perfection, crispy skins still attached

Oh god, Emperor forgive me...

>>14425801
>>14425793
>>14425786
Well, I don't read up much on 40k, that was just my theory.

>>14425806
FRIES FOR THE FRIES GOD!
BURGERS FOR THE BURGERS THRONE!

Re: sexuality in 40k
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Imperial_Fists#The_Junker_Model_of_Behavior
>Iron Fists article
>Recruitment:
>If the initiate passes, he becomes a cadet and the symbol of the Imperial Fists is marked on his buttock.

GAY

>>14425851
DON'T LET THE PIZZA BURN!

>>14425806
LOOK, FRYERS! FRYERS!!!

OUR ENEMIES COOK WITH METLE BAWKSES! THE COWARDS! THE FOOLS!

We....we should take away their metle bawkses!

>>14425851
>>14425806

I love you.

>>14425836
Glimmering in it is own juices?

>>14425806
Has anyone ever told you that you are awesome?

>>14425879
Yep

>>14425836
>>14425836
>>14425836
>>14425836

Fatty detected.

GREEN IZ BEST! EAT YO' SQUIGA HELFY TO LIVE LONG!

>>14425680
>>14425690
>>14425772
>>14425805
>>14425806
>>14425836
>>14425851
Oh God, I'm imagining an alternate 40k world as a fast food company. Emprah starts McDonald's, Horus becomes employee of the month. The Dark Gods of the deep frier whisper to him that he should be the CEO, so he breaks away and founds Burger King. Rowboat Girlyman becomes the assistant manager while Emps goes on vacation, and the place goes to shit.

>>14425836
god fucking dammit, it's 3am and i want to fire up the fucking grill.

>>14425438
>2) they do warn chapter serfs etc not to drink it, and according to fenrisian mythology there are many stories about "dont touch the drink of the gods, lest it kill you" - which is referring to the fact that if normal people drink alcohol that strong, it will flat out kill them from severe alcohol poisoning.

Bullshit, you can drink pure ethanol without dying. The taste is disgusting you will porbably puke it out, but unless you drink enough to cause poisoning you won't die from it.

Now if the spac yiffs drink methanol, it would be different story and their changed biochemistry could make it possible.

>>14425832
Skies of Orkadia (I'd play the shit out of that.)
Katamari Dakkacy
Dawn of War 12,540
Super Gulliman Bros
Hive Fighter
Psykernaughts
Ogryn Kong

>>14425892
EET YA SQUIG! HOW CAN YA 'AVE NY PUDDIN IF YA DON'T EET YA SQUIG!?

>>14425910
Call of Duty 5000

>>14425895
Tyranids are the ravenous foreigners that don't clean up after they eat.
Orks form that vegan restaurant called Green iz Best.
Eldar used to run a successful franchise until it collapsed under its own weight.
Tau are those new sushi restaurants.
Necrons, I dunno.

>>14425926
Final Fantasy 40k is due next year anyway.

>>14425589

>>14425930
You guys heard about the new Tyranidmon game?
Shit's gonna suck ass.

>>14425929
>Orks form that vegan restaurant called Green iz Best.
No fool, the Ork's set up dinners. They have those old, greasy spoons that seem to be everywhere.

>>14425919
DEY KEEPS YA REGYULAR ON DA DROPS.

>>14425589
Oh wow, look what I started.

>>14425945
Fast food place, but the Orks take it literally and paint EVERYTHING RED. RED BURGAZ COOK FASTEST. RED GRILLS GRILL FASTEST. RED FRYCOOKZ SHOULD STOP MUCKIN ABOUT WIFF DA RED PAINT AND MAKE DEM SQUIGBURGAZ.

>>14425929
Necrons would be the "new cuisine" kind of guys. You know, those places where you get a huuuuuge plate with a tiny little something on it, and you wonder if it's even edible.

>mfw imagining Super Sentai and Kamen Rider in the 41st century

>>14425968
They also have really artsy tartsy looking restaurants. Like they were trying to show off their interior decorations and serve a little snack to the viewers.

Never change, /tg/.

>>14426001
I kinda see Necrons as owning those Ethiopian restaurants I always see downtown. Strange enough of an idea for you to wonder what they eat, but not enough to make you risk walking in and biting into a 3 year old rat.

>>14425964
Now imagine the Orks attempt at a classy restaurant.

>>14426015
>>14426015

Ethiopian food is great. It's served on this spongy sourdough flatbread called injera. There's no utensils. You just tear off pieces of the injera to scoop the food into your mouth. The actual entrees are delicious. Everything is stewed until it's super soft, and they just make little piles of different stews on this gigantic disc of injera. It's awesome.

Anyone looking forward to TitanAssault?

What kind of movies do they watch in the 41st millenium?
Event Horizon would be a historical documentary.
Passion of the Emperor
Avatar: How to Eliminate a Xeno
Give me moar muvies!

>>14426031
WE'Z DONE WIFF ALL DAT FAST FOOD STUFF, SO WE DECIDED TO MAKE AN UPSCALE EATIN PLACE. OUR BEST KOMMANDOZ ARE WAITAZ, YOU WONT EVEN NOTICE YOUR FILLAY DUSQUIG BEIN SERVED, AND DEY'Z AWFUL GENTLE WIFF TAKIN DA TIPS FROM YER MOUF. WE'Z GOT ALL SORTSA FLASH ON DA WALLS FOR YER PROPA OMBYANSE, SO YOU CAN LOOK AT DEM BEAKY BOY EADS OR SOME POINTY EARS IF YA GET TIRED OF DAT. OF COURSE, DA DAY-KORE IS DA BEST. WE PAINTED ALL DA WALLS GREEN, AND DA PLATES IS ALL RED SO DA FOOD COMES FASTA. ENJOY, UMIE.

>>14426037
Get your tau shit out of here, bro!
Everyone knows the next big thing is gonna be Company of Marines!

>>14426048
I assume all Orky movies would be low grade B movies with lots of action, explosions, car chases, gun fights, chppy fights, fist fights and pretty much every fight imaginable. The best actors would be the most hardened fighters of the Orks.

>>14426074
You now realize Michael Bay is an ork direktor.

>>14426031
Mekboyz are probably the smooth talkers of the Orks, if you go by DoW. I can see them running a fairly good front, as long as a Grot doesn't piss them off.
The back... would be something else. Also, the menus would consist of "squig", "grog", and various "gubbinz".

>>14425908
Except that pure ethanol would be gas at regular temperatures so technically you wouldn't be able to drink it.

>>14426074
Is Michael Bay their Spiritual Liege?

>>14426074
Mr. Smashskullz, Mr. Smushskullz! Do you do your own stunts?

EY WOTZ A STUNT?

>>14426074
Necron movies will be silent movies.
Eldar is all about high fantasy tales of their mythology.
Dark Eldar is porn. All of it, porn. No exceptions,
Tau is animu, animu everywhere.
Imperium is varied, although most of it is propaganda movies. Inglorius Basterds and the like, but with IG.

>>14426062
"Were the Blood Raven party"

I AINT SEEIN YA RESAVATN

"It must be there, I called in a week before!"

LISTEN 'ERE UMIE, I BE LOOKIN ALL OVA ME RESAVATN BOOK ERE AND I AINT SEEIN YA, SO DERE

"Emperor damn you foul Ork, if you don't let us in we'll burn you and everyone of your foul kin to the ground!"

YA STILL AINT GETTEN IN, NOW QUIT MUCKIN ABOUT, I GOTS UDDA SQUISHIES TA SEAT!

>>14426094

Space Marines could canonically more or less just drink liquid ethanol in the required temperature, though.

>>14426115
Hello, we're the Tau party. The Ethereals reserved a table for us last month.

I'LL FOIGHT YA FOR IT.

>>14426145
"W-with your fists?"

>>14426109
I can totally see SoB watching religious chick flicks about tragic tales of love and Emprah dedication.

>>14426154
WOT ELSE DO YOU GREY SKINNED BOYZ FOIGHT WIFF?

>>14426105
"Okay Crushnstomp, for the next scene, I want you to show me some emotion, you're wife was just killed infront of you by a band of Eldar and you are raring for some revenge!"

WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

"Perfect, ok next scene, you have just found out your long lost brother has joined the Eldar, and had helped them kill your wife so he could become war boss instead of you, show us your sadness at this betrayal!"

WAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

'Wonderful, you're a natural! Ok, final scene, you have just killed the Eldar gang, and now hold your dying brother in your arms, he says he is sorry for everything and can never atone for what he did, he soon dies, show us some sadness but also relief that this whole ordeal is over!"

WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

'Cut, print it!"

>>14426155
-The Notebook (of Hymns Praising and Venerating the Immortal God Emperor of Mankind)
-The Titanic (Might and Wrath of our Father and Guardian)
-Steel Magnolias (Pattern Bolt rounds, capable of tearing a xenos apart with a pretty floral exit wound)

>>14426109
Chaos movies is where it gets complicated
Khorne worshipers would probably watch and make nothing but war flicks

This needs an archive like none other.

>>14426173
>The Titanicus
Fix'd

The space wolves can and do get drunk. They drink the strongest spirits in the entire galaxy and still need about 2 barrels each. They are also the only chapter of space marines who can still reproduce.

>>14426159
"Guns. Why would you fight with your fists?"

>>14426105
For some reason I just imagined an Ork version of Jackie Chan

TRUBBLE? CORSE I WANT SUM TRUBBLE!!

>>14426187
WOT IF YOU PUT A GUN ON YOUR FIST, SO YOU COULD HAVE SHOOTY WHILE YOU HAD SMASHY?

>>14426191
"DIS WEEK ON PIMP YA TRUKK!!!...."

sorry I had to

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14425336/

>>14426210
ORKZIBIT HERE. WEN YA FIRST SHOWED US YA TRUKK, DA RED PAINT WAS GONE, YA DAKKA WAS ALL WORN OUT, AND DERE WASN'T EVEN ANY CHOPPY. NOW... TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR FLASH NEW TRUCK!

>>14426176
Khornate movies are war porn. Nothing less. The only other movies they make involve duels to the death.
Slaaneshi movies are eighty-four hours long and stimulate all five senses, psychic senses, and also ones humans don't usually have. The subject matter is indescribable.

>>14426247
What would a Word Bearer watch?

>>14426236
Why is my vehicle now a screaming metal death trap?

Are those sawblades made out of chainsaws?

>>14426255
Religious programs.

>>14426263
OI I KNEW YA'D LOVE IT. DA MEKBOYZ AT WEST WAAAAAGH! KUSTOMZ HAVE DUN IT AGIN!

>>14426282
But I gave you a motorcycle


Why is it a Stompa now!?

>>14426297
WUT KINDA DAKKA CAN YA FIT ON A BIKE? NONE, DATS WUT. NOW YOU GOT A STOMPA, SO YOU CAN SHOOT, SMASH, CHOP, AND STOMP.

>>14426247
Tzeentchian movies have wildly varying plots but are all like Death Note in that EVERYBODY IS BRILLIANT AND PLOTTING AGAINST EVERYONE ELSE IN ABSURDLY CONVOLUTED PLOTS.
Nurglite movies are recordings of things slowly decaying and people dying of diseases.

>>14426316
Quentin Tarantino directs Tzeentchian films, secretly swaying Khornate worshippers to watch with the bloodshed, but amusing Tzeentch with the convoluted as all get out plots.

>>14426316

So Nurgle films nature documentaries?

>>14425336
>>14425358
Actually if a Space Marine started going on an extreme drinking binge, like forgoing everything to drink that'd probably open some slaanesh doors.

Or some slaanesh drawers hey now

>>14426308
OI, I'Z FITZ LOADSA DAKKA ON ME BIKE, YA STOOPID GIT.

>>14426316
I assumed Tzeentch movies were Steven King movies, only on a much bigger scale. Like plot points from one more can be found in completely different movies.

>>14426331
Nature documentaries about sickness and death.

>>14426331
Yes.

>>14426342
WELL YOU AIN'T NO HUMIE SO YA BIKE IS BIGGA. WE DONT GOTS TO PIMP YA TRUCK CUZ YOU SHOULD DO IT YASELF.

I would very much like to be a Tzeentch director.

>>14426343
I would have said Tzeentchian movies are all like M. Shyamalan movies.

>>14426359
NO! YOU SHALL WORK FOR THE BLOOD GOD, AS YOUR STUPID SHIT MOVIES MAKE ME WANT TO RIP AND TEAR

>>14426331
"The corpse of the lion slowly rots, but even now the Hyenas and the Vultures will consume it."

*sniff* This is my favorite part

>>14426350
JUS DON'T GO INSULTIN' BIKES, YA PUNY GROTLICKA.

>>14426369
>*sniff* This *cough* is *wheeze* my *hack* favorite *vomit* part
FTFY

Band of Battle-Brothers
Lord-Commander of the Rings
30 days of Night Lords
From dusk 'til Dawn of War

"Now kids, it's time to learn the diseases with Papa Nurgle!"

>Ork films

*ahem*

I'm tempted to say Gainorx, but NGE and P&S don't really fit Orky credo. So I'll say that the planex Gainaxia VII was briefly overrun by an Ork Waaagh, and they got their hands on production equipment and set out to make it orky.

The ending is actually of a Space Hulk made out of most of the universe doing battle with the Anti-Waaagh. It was critically acclaimed as having 'almost enuff dakka'.

The idea of food in the 40k verse makes Iron Chef seem much more...violent.

>>14426401

Yaaaaaaaay! Can we talk about leprosy?

>>14426410
And then Orks on /aaaaagh!/ will complain that there wasn't nuff dakka and that the main character "wernt orky nuff" Also the fact he doesn't become warboss in the end and instead wanders off with his pet squig to teach youngins about the Waaagh

>>14426415
Course we can!

Also, this episode is brought to you by the letter B for Bile, and the number 6, which is the minimum amount of festering sores you should have at all times.

>>14426433
orkchan.ork/waaaaaaaaaaagh
DIS MOVIE DIDN'T HAVE ENUFF FOIGHTIN AND YOU'S A HUMIE LOVIN POINTY EARED BOY WHO LIKES IS SHOOTA TOO MUCH

Imperial-sanctioned porn.
What would it be like?

>>14426468
Very cold and unemotional

>>14426449

Nurgle....is it acceptable to launch plague marines over a wall with a catapult in order to get them in there if no other means of entrance are available?

>>14426468
SoB.
SoB everywhere.

>>14426488
Sisters are not for porn, damn it.
... unless you meant porn actresses dressing as Sisters because every man in the Imperium fantasize about them ?

>>14425832
Call of duty:black crusade

Giant Imperial propoganda piece about being a Cadian Stormtrooper

>>14426487
It's a perfect method my child, when they go splat, all the lovely disease gets splashed everywhere.

>>14426468
"Hey, baby, how about you an-"

HERESY GROWS FROM IDLENESS!

"What do you- oh. Oh wow."

MAINTAIN ATTACK FORMATION

"Don't tell me you're about to-"

ONWARD TO GLORY!

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW MY VAGINA ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY"

FIRE IN THE HOLE! FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>14426498
Real Sisters are hard to get, of course. It's every porn director's goal to get their hands on one.
The most legendary Imperial porn director is Don Carlos, who managed to convince an entire convent to pose for his porn movie, being hailed as the most erotic movie of the Imperium for all time.

>>14426468
Used by the =][= to pass along messages.
Somewhere, in a darkened room, serious-faced men are solemnly watching porn and noting down EVERYTHING, occasionally cursing under their breaths. And praying to the Emperor on Earth that it doesn't end in a quadruple bukkake cumshot like last time.
Last time, when whole worlds burned.

I love you, /tg/.

>>14426520
clangclangclangclangclang


SQUAD MORALE RESTORED!

>>14425381
>>14425389
>>14425403
>>14425410
>>14425438
>>14425441
In one of the Wolf Blade novels a Assassin actually does get some of the herb that dulls their alcohol immunity, it had been obtained by the Inquisition for the express purpose of poisoning Space Marines.

>>14426520

oh god I almost pissed myself laughing.

newfag here, anyway to update the suptg archive to include the newest awesomeness?

>Imperial Sanctioned Porn

>>14426600
yes.jpg

What would porn be to encourage the females to breed little guardsmen, though?

Men dressing up as Blood Angels, having homo sex with each other?

>>14426600

my eyes kinda hurt now. . .

>>14426635
Procreate OR DIE!

>>14426635
Yes <3

>>14426635
I what.

>>14426635
Every woman wants to do it with a spehss mehreen.

>>14426635
They live in a universe where only the fittest, strongest men live in the light of day, often wear nothing but flak vests, and are probably 100% ready to bone at all times.

I imagine the women just watch IG training exercises from the other side of the fence to get themselves steamy.

>Time sxist
...You're right, Captcha, there are lots of female Guardsmen too. That's just not the focal point in my argument...

>>14426673
No, there are only lots from our perspective.
There are very few.

>>14426673
I imagine Catachans would have no trouble at all getting dem wimmin.

>>14426642
Sounds like Heresy to me

>>14426673
>nothing but flak vests
I'm pretty sure being mostly naked at all times is uncomfortable for most men.

>>14426688
Deathworld fever?

>>14426696
>DO IT LIKE A BARKING TOAD!
...

>>14426687
If only 10% of Guardsmen were female that'd still be a number in the millions.

Remember you've got worlds like Cadia and Krieg where they send pretty much everyone to the Guard.

>>14426699
Wait what.

>>14426700
>>14426700

More like trillions.

>>14426700
More like 1% at best.

>>14426699
Explode?

>>14426713
I don't know. With the number of drafts and worlds being overrun I can see it being higher than 1%

The Iron Titan.
>A heartwarming tale about a boy and a machine spirit.
Full Metal Boltershell
>A day in the life of a Space Marine.
Tyranid vs. Necron
>Two xenos fight while a crew tries to escape a space hulk.

Keep it going, /tg/!

>>14426699
>barking toad
>explode
>6969
I see.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14425336/

>>14426729

A Ork and his Squig
>A heart warming story of a Ork feeding his squig . . . almost anything.

>>14426732
Moar Imperial sex positions.
>The Dreadnought
>Eye of Terror
>Reverse Groxgirl
>The Bolter
>The Lasgun
>Chimera (Don't Ask.)
>The Catachan Special
>Delicious Heresy

>>14426721
Nope.
Overwhelming majority is male. Women are rare.
That's the reason given for you never really seeing female Guardsmen.

>>14426741
DA KOLOR RED

aka Need for Speed 40k.

>>14426741
Avatar
>A documentary of an Imperial Guard company going on a routine xeno extermination crusade.

>>14426695
I'm sticking by my goddamn word. NOTHING. That's how we rolled in my regiment, and you know what? You don't know a damn thing about dedication to the Emperor until you've done 200 push-ups with a free-wagging boner during firespore season on Rectus VIII!

>>14426753
We know about the convent, commissar. Don't lie to us, you know what you did to that Seraphim.

>>14426744
>the Golden Throne
>Imperial Might
>the Terran

>>14426744
The Dirty Heretic
The Man Raider
The Inquisitorial Search Permit

APOSTATE PSYKERS VIII
RATED EX FOR "EVERYONE INVOLVED WAS EXECUTED".

>>14426761

>The squig

Just imagining how...oh god...

>>14426747
I'd say overwhelming majority could constitute anything 75% and higher

>>14426782
Three quarters is not OVERWHELMING MAJORITY, just your average majority.

>>14426752
Terminator
>A squad of terminators go on a stealth mission to exterminate a powerful cultist leader. Shenanigans ensue.
The Hurt Locker
>The tale of an Tallarn company and their war on a feudal world.

Never change, /tg/.
Never change.

Come on, writefags.
WHERE ARE YOU?!

>>14426799
The Hurt Locker sucked xeno dick.

>>14426786
Average majority is 51%

>>14426823

>>14426829
No, that's Barely Majority.

>>14426762
The Deep Strike
The Steel Rain (same as Deep Strike, but you have to praise the Emperor with a sock shoved in your mouth)
The Powerfist
The Chainfist
The Squat (heretical)

>>14426865
THE EXTERMINATUS. Said to require extensive blessing and warding to avoid the spontaneous summoning of a Keeper of Secrets.
(requires a few buckets of lubricant, sixteen people, all of which are contortionists, two Ogryns, a greased Ratling, a psyker, four specially outfitted servitors, eleven techpriests, and equipment)

>>14426883
You forgot the heavy bolter and the volcano cannon.

>>14426894
Also the psyker has to be at least Gamma-level.

>>14426902
They say if you get a Sister involved, she turns into a living saint and then everyone catches on fire.

>>14426913
It is also so forbidden Slaanesh wouldn't get anywhere within five sectors of you.

Bump.

>>14426173
Moar.

>>14425836
You know what?
I never understood why anyone would join Slaneesh.
"Strong feelings" just doesn't do it for me. But these descriptions suddenly made it a lot more sensible.
GW should include such down-to-earth stuff in the fluff. It would make the impact a lot stronger. If you can actually identify with a cultist, you can suddenly feel the grimdarkness a lot stronger.
I always hear about the oppression in the Imperium. But there's never examples of all the people who are probably living the same lifestyles as us and who are still part of all the events. If a slave turns to chaos, it makes sense. If one of us turns to chaos, it's a lot more personal.

>>14426752
I thought that was Aliens, or Starship Troopers (a day in the life of a guardsman)

>>14427140
Watch A Serbian Film. Thats pretty much a depiction of a Slaanesh cult.

Bmp

Bump.

>>14427140
I read a book called the naked god that might be up your alley

Vamp

Keepan it alive.

>>14425358Space Yiffs, being colossal fucking canon-sues, are the exception to everything... Including the Inquisition, the Imperium itself, and what they 'can' and 'can't' do as spess mehreens.


THE SPIRIT OF THE GREAT WOLF WATCHES OVER ALL SPACE WOLVES

chaos has no power to overcome their inner wolf spirits

>>14428187
whats it about withotu spoiling.

>>14426994
Gone With the Wind (of the Immortal Emperor's Wrath)
My Big Fat Astartes Wedding
Heresy Actually
50 First Purges
27 Flamers
The Devil Wears Ceramite

>>14430976
Bridget Jones' Hymnal
Legally Sororitas
10 Things I Hate About Chaos
>>14426468
Repentia Gone Wild
Back Door Cultists
The INquisition
The Macha Tapes
A Night in Ulthwe
Purge the Greenskin
XXXtra Heretical
Popular Science (admech)
Wyches on Ritalin (so they calm down to only superhuman levels of sickfuckery)

Bumpan.

>>14425626
?

XXXenocide. Just change the subject matter a bit.

Spacehulk A.E.
>Humans ejected from an Eldar maiden world seek a pre-Heresy cruiser that would allow them to return.
Saving Guardsman Rian
>The thrilling tale of a PDF's attempt to save their radio man.
Machine Spirit
>Banned across the Imperium for raising the question of whether an uploaded mind is equal to an Abominable Intelligence.
Marbo of Catachan
>An amusing saturday morning cartoon (and live-action movie) chronicling Sly Marbo's childhood conquering the native fauna of Catachan before being adopted by the Catachan Guard.
Magos XLT
A Magos and his experimental servitor discover a barely-functioning titan deep within their forge world and repair it just in time to repel an Ork invasion.
Dexter's Forge
A young AdMech applicant attempts to perfect the technologies he needs to be accepted into the Priesthood while his sister repeatedly tempts him with the joys of sloth.
Inquisitor Jack
Separated from his retinue, a lone Inquisitor wielding a sanctified relic from the Dark Age of Technology seeks to destroy a Daemon World by removing its dark master.
Valor the Fearful Canine
This cartoon, made for the Cadian market, depicts an appealing caricature of a cyber-mastiff overcoming his cowardice to defend his keepers-one grateful, the other scornful-against the terrors of the Warp. It is extremely popular.
Hail, Arnald
The day-to-day lives of a number of young Imperial citizens.
The Thornberry Expedition
An Explorator and his family scout the galaxy, while the youngest discovers her budding psyker-power of universal translation.

>>14432267

>mfw

>>14432267
Edmond, Edart, and Aedon
>Three bumbling Inquisitorial acolytes are trapped in a bubble in the Warp they must escape by outwitting their fellow prisoners.
Assassin Kimball
>A master Death Cult Assassin battles the Chaos Sorcerer Draekan and his pet Daemon with the assistance of her bumbling handler and his servo-ferret, occasionally duelling deluded Marines, heretical Magos Biologis, mutants, and other foes of the Imperium while attempting to pass her classes in the Schola Progenum.
Secutor Cherubim PWR-PF
>A master Magos creates a trio of hyperpowerful Cherubim to defend his beleaguered Hive.
Bravo Johannes
>A retired Stormtrooper and rejected Marine applicant attempts to build a family after many years of loyal service.

Any requests?

>>14432267
ELIZIAH THORNBYRY COME WITH ME. THERE'S A MAN WHO WORKS FOR THE EMPEROR, HE HAS SOME QUESTIONS AND WANTS TO SEE YOU. BRING THE JOKAERO TOO. BUT BY THE IMMORTAL AUTHORITY OF TERRA, LEAVE THE STRIPY VEST TOP WITH ME.

>>14432267
>>14432525

>>14432267
>>14432525

>mfw NOSTALGIASTORMACTIVATE

>>14432267
>>14432525
I wish to bear your children.

Ordos Chronos
>A marine, a servitor, and a boy from the schola progenium must use an ancient STC to travel through time, and make sure the time line stays stable

>>14432525

Fucking awesome.

Those I can think of-

Judge Dredd
Dirty Harry

...Both are pretty much Arbitators.

Indiana Jones.

I have one, though, based on Harvest Moon:

ON SOME WORLDS, THE BATTLE IS FOR THE LAND. ON THIS WORLD, THE BATTLE *IS* THE LAND.

(Insert Space Marine with Power Shovel, smiting some horrid xenos creature.)

DAWN OF WAR: HARVESTER OF THE LOST.

>>14435670
>>14435468
>>14435420
>>14432338
Haw, thanks.

Anyone got requests? Seriously, I'm up for anything that isn't outright heretical. For example, no Whatever Happened to Robot Jones because that would be glorifying Abominable Intelligences...which would explain its swift cancellation. Ren and Stimpy, Cow and Chicken, and anything else made or inspired by Spumco would be glorifying squalor and laziness, and therefore would not survive long outside Chaos enclaves. Ditto Mon series, as they would be regarded as causing undue trust in xenos.

Anything else is a go.

For example-

Titan Legion GNDM 0080
>A refugee squad of Collegio Titanicus conducts guerilla warfare against a Chaos invasion.

No requests?

>>14437386
Tabletop games in 40k.

HOWITZER 2000M

>>14437386
Treasure Planet? (Or the original Treasure Island, whichever floats your boat)

>>14437724
Too many Xenos. Too heretical. I love it to death (next to Titan AE and District 9) but the Imperium's wrath would be incandescent.

It would probably involve rogue traders, though.

>>14438091
Big O?

I guess the androids would be a problem, but Roger Smith is a badass with a Titan who wrecks giant xenos all over the place while fighting corruption and heresy.

What if we went in the opposite direction? Two and a Half Men?

>>14438127
2 and a Half Guardsmen. 2 Cadians take a Whiteshield under their wing, except one is a pussy and the other is Bi-Winning.

Squad Fortress 32

>TWO TEAMS OF SPACE MARINE INTIATES FIGHT FOR VARIOUS OBJECTIVES. FROM THE FORGE WORLD VALVUS

science shows down by the admech?

>>14438226
beautiful
>>14432267
Ghost in the Shell. Motoko is now a SoB, batou is a SM, rest tbd. tochikoma's are dreadnaughts who have forgotten that they were human once

>>ishalt eax1
indeed captcha, indeeeed

Requesting vidya in the 41st millenium. You can do it, it'll be awesome!

>>14438479
Works better with a major Forge World and its internal security. Maybe pre-heresy?

TECH-HERESY, TECH-HERESY EVERYWHERE! THE LAUGHING MAN HERETEK WILL BE FOUND AND HIS DATA PURGED!

"No, Inquisitor. YOU ARE THE DAEMONS."

>>14439187
>>14438910
>>14438479
Machine Spirit was supposed to be a reference to the first GitS, but this works better.

>>14438226

CRY SOME MORE HERETIC.

>>14442249
The problem with that is, you can't have a RED and BLU, as that would be promoting strife between alternate members of the Imperium.

And if you make one side or the other Daemonic, then any time the Daemons win you have potential heresy.

>>14443235
THEY FIGHT EACH OTHER FOR THE EMPEROR! ONLY THROUGH VICTORY WILL THEY BE PROVEN FAITHFUL! Seriously, though, I do recall chapters having feuds involving primarch duels and various killings.

BUMP FOR THE EMPRAH!

Bump.

>>14426410

>Ork version of NGE

Ohh dear god

Asuka is the warboss.

Bump.

>>14448377
>Quite clearly Tengun Tawpa Gorken Morkann
>NGE

Nigga, you high.

>>14425624
Black people arn't

A white guy suddenly turning black and blue eyes suddenly turning red is

H
How
HOW IS MY THREAD STILL ALIVE
FUCK YOU /tg/
THIS ISNT EVEN ABOUT DRUNK SPACE MARINES ANYMORE

>>14450060

>>14450082
YOU SHUT UP. IM GOING TO KEEP DRINKING MY ALCOHOL STASH UNTIL THIS THREAD GETS BACK ON TRACPQE[0GHEQ]000PIQMG42T2
QEP4-8]44444444444444444444444444

>>14450109
Looks like OP fell on the keyboard, what are the chances he's dead or just unconscious, you think?

>>14450060
>implying this thread hasn't became truly amazing.

Be proud that you began this.

>>14450133
About fiddy-fiddy.

Needs more ork movies.

3 days and still going strong. I love you, /tg/

Captcha: 007 prodress. Hmmm... perhaps.