So, as I was saying, it's been different. New ownership at the store across town that I do not frequent has led to some serious improvements to their store. They have more tables now, they have better terrain, some of the older and more douchey players have left. But still, the rivalry remains.

Last year, they sent a guy to the national finals for Ard Boys, and so did we. Both players ended up somewhere in the middle of the pack in Chicago, and while neither of them got to play one another, both are decent players, and for the most part likeable guys.

Today, the other store held a tournament, while our store held a nothing. So, my self and two of my friends decided to hop over to the other store before their tournament started, and see if we could find a way to teach a little lesson in humility to these guys who think they are top dogs in local gaming.

We got there bright and early, and when we booked in, we found that we were the final three people in a field of 20 players total. We had initially all decided to bring in our own spins on how we like to play guard, my buddy Rob likes to play with manticores and lots of heavy weapon squads, while Al likes to go foot hoard, while I love the look of bringing out lots of Leman Russ tanks.

So, we sit down and start looking at the competition, when we catch an unpleasant undertone as a guy from the old group comes over and sneers down at where we are sitting.

"You guys come over here to kick our ass and take our prize support?"

Now, personally, I don't like this guy I'm going to name Bob at all. He's greasy, he smells funny, he's whiny, and he's a bitch.

>>14770671
>>14770599
Proceed, I'm listening.

Posting in a thread of epic battles of bros versus THOSE GUYS.

So, me being the constant pleasant person I am, I looked up at Bob and smiled really nice up at him.

"Nah Bob, we just came to humiliate you, the prize money is just a nice extra."

So, that set the tone for the day. Every game we played had some of their regulars clustered around our opponents urging them on while we smacked them around. I fought a nidzilla list in my first game, and after the dust settled in the 6th turn, my army was in shambles and my only hope was for Marbo to run over and stab his tyrant in the face enough to cause two wounds. Everyone kinda shut up for a minute as the dice flew and the tyrant fell, leaving him tabled and me holding on to a win in the first round.

Rob faced a nasty nasty Salamander army and barely eeked out a win, but didn't pick up any of the extra points, while Al slaughtered a space wolf player. Off to round two we went, and who did I see across from me but that repugnant shitheel, Bob.

Bob and his hoard of jump pack Blood Angels. He crowed about how he was going to stomp a hole in my army so big that I would never want to play 40k again. I just smiled, gritted my teeth, and went about deploying and preparing for him to drop in. The first thing I found out about Bob, is that he's under the impression that he can charge with regular marines after deep striking.

It didn't work out to well for him when I pointed out that he couldn't. He argued, he bitched, he moaned, he called for a ruling, and the ruling went with the rules, not the Bobism.

The pie plates flew, flashlights flickered, and multilasers seared his army into ash. By the end of the game, Bob had been tabled by someone he hated with a passion and I was smiling big as shit.

i love the feeling of smearing a por player

>>14770769
I guess he thought Heroic Intervention was an army wide special rule.

Or he is just dumb.

>>14770769

>>14770769

While I was giving Bob a lesson in how to get your shit kicked in, Al was having a hard time of it with a pooping Nid army. The guy he was playing literally had 150 spare gaunts with him just for his 4 whatever the fuck they ares so they could spawn more gaunts. Al, was not going down without a fight however. After the first turn where his four gaunt shitters managed to each somehow roll a 6, 5, and 4 to poop out gaunts, Al started watching his rolls very carefully. The guy was fast handing his dice, he'd toss down a handful of dice, look at it really quick and pick it up and declare how many had come out.

Al let him get away with it the first turn and just nodded his head. The gaunts rushed in, and ate the twenty man blob screen that Al uses to cover his HW squads. Now, normally the last mini that Al will kill his his prized commissar that he won a pro grade paint job on during last years Adepticon. However on that charge, the commissar was the first to die, and he was followed by the rest of the squad, which left the long string of gaunts just standing around waiting to receive some fiery lasgun death.

Al was happy to oblige. Heavy Bolters, something that Rob and I both hate to bring, are one of Al's favorite weapons, and he had 5 HW squads of the damned things just waiting for this moment. Al opened up with out even bothering with orders and just started mowing the gaunts down in droves. When he finished up with the Heavy Bolters, he switched over to autocannons and finished off the last of the new arrivals. Then his missiles, lascannons, and autocannons started working on the gaunt shitters. Two of those ugly fucks dropped to combined fire before Al was done with his turn.

And his opponent picked up the dice to roll to shit more out, and Al just looked at him and said "I let you get away with it last turn, lets see how those dice roll for you this time."

The first gaunt shitter? Three 1's. The second? A 6 and a pair of 2's.

>>14770863

Oh wow. Caught the shitheel in the act, I see.

>>14770863

Brilliant!

>>14770863

Now Al's opponent had a damned fine list backing him up in case his gaunt shitters failed him. 4 or 5 tervigons, two tyrants, and 4 max squads of gaunts along with venomthropes and those guys that give you a cover save all were about one good turn of fire away from smashing into Al's line and eating his guardsmen for lunch. Al moved his second blob squad up to behind the heavy bolter line, and started firing, this time picking his targets more carefully.

The first to die were the guys that give cover saves when Al used his first orders, then fell the two packs of summoned gaunts, and then a tervigon, and Al still had his lascannons and autocannons left.

With incredibly hot rolling dice, Al threw his lascannon fire into the first tyrant, dropping it to one wound left, and then failed to hurt it with his autocannons. His opponent had this look of happiness on his face as he and the gathered jackals pointed out that the next turn two tervigons and the tyrants were going to be in amongst the HW teams.

Al smiled and ran his blob squad of 20 men, who had not fired forward in a long line of guardsmen, exactly 3 inches in front of the HW teams and his opponent shut up immediately.

Those chargers killed that second blob to a man, it was terrible, but those twenty guardsmen saved those HW teams so that they could reap another deadly harvest of monstrous creatures.

Turn three had Al eating the tyrants, tervigons, and one of the gaunt shitters that had come close enough with massed fire. Because of time limits, they couldn't get a fourth turn in, but by the time kill points were counted, it didn't matter.

Al's opponent had lost 21 KP to Al's 2.

>>14770961

Now THAT is a victory.

>>14770961

GLORIOUS

>>14770961
Playing guard right, he does.

Build a berm of corpses that his HWT can use for cover.

This is delicious! Keep going!

>sensation oultsit

Frickin' sweet.

>>14770961
>Al
Is he by perchance an Alain? like myself?

>>14771048

WHAT?! I thought you were Drew.

Web of lies.

Now, Rob, bless his heart is a damned good friend of mine, and I would give him my last dollar in the world if he asked me, but today he was kind of out of sorts. His first opponent was a damned fine player, and he pushed Rob to the limit in their game, and while Rob managed to eek out the win, his list was obviously the weakest of all three of ours.

He was only running two manticores, and most of the rest of his points were tied up with stuff that somehow he manages to make work. Things like Rough Riders, Ogryns running around with Yarrick in a Chimera, and those fucking useless ratlings he loves so much.

But, he does back it up with a lot of autocannons and mobs of power weapon wielding 40 man blocks of guardsmen.

His opponent in the second roun, well, if Bob was a douche and a bitch, this guy was supposedly the epitome of cool, and he let you know it. I'd known him for years, and while I was alright with the guy, he was a serious know it all with a massive chip on his shoulder when it came to winning.

He loved to brag about the fact that he hadn't lost a game in three years, and when he started laying out his massed hoard of thunder wolves, long fangs, and wolf guard, it became obvious why. The fucker just loves death stars, and really, while we all hate them, they work really really well.

Rob just kinda sat there looking bummed. If ever there were an army his was not tooled to fight, this was it. But, Rob's a gamer, and he's a good general, even if he does use fucking ratlings, so he set to work.

Rob went second, and after his opponent hit the midfield he instantly started with both manticores rolling 3 missiles each to hammer the living shit out of the thunder wolves. 6 pie plates fell, but because of schenanigans like individual items, storm shields, wolf lords, he only managed to kill 2 of them total with his whole turn of firing.

>>14771069

>6 pie plates fell, but because of schenanigans like individual items, storm shields, wolf lords, he only managed to kill 2 of them total with his whole turn of firing.

>>14771069
>only managed to kill 2 of them total with his whole turn of firing.

God I hate when shit like that happens.

>>14771069
>he only managed to kill 2 of them total with his whole turn of firing.

>>14771060
I mean when I'm not being an inmoral, unsufferable asshole on 4chan.
You know, a tripfag/namefag
>>14771069
>>14771069
AW, ZOG.

>>14770769
>Nidzilla list
>Space Wolfs dieing to foot guard
>Deploying when shitface has a large deep strike army

In fact, the only thing that died other than that was a single wolf terminator who had been leading his pack foward towards Rob's guard.

A ratling killed him with a sniper rifle.

He also pinned the whole squad, probably from shock of seeing a ratling actually being played in a tournament.

So, while the termies sat back, and the missiles of the wolves immobilised one manticore and destroyed the other, Rob sat there and took it on the chin as the thunder wolves arrived and started to rape face on two 40 man blocks of guard.

Anyone who has fought two blobs of guard at once can tell you, they throw a lot of attacks back when you hit them, especially when there are 8 PW wielding sargents, and 2 pfist commissars.

After that first round of combat, Rob was down probably close to 30 guardsmen total, but he still had all his special weapons (Grenade Launchers? Seriously? Damnit Rob, what were you thinking?), and all his sarges and commissars.

So it finally came time for the lasgun butt strokes to begin, and Rob went all out as hard as he could, but out of all the regular guardsmen, not a single wound got through to kill a single thunder wolf. Power swords swung and rebounded from storm shields, power fists clawed out, and a grand total of 1 thunder wolf died in that fight.

1 stinking thunder wolf, but there was hope, it was one of the chucklefucks with a storm shield and that had to count for something. Rob's opponent leaned back in his chair and smirked as Rob lost the combat by 29 and then failed his first leadership test.

Now, Mr. Cool must have forgotten about how life in the guard is brutal, and he was surprised when Rob shot one of his Sergeants and passed the rest of his LD tests.

The next turn, a long fang unit vanished under concentrated Manticore fire, and another termie bit the dust due to the ratlings, and yes, I swear this is true, they failed their pinning test YET AGAIN.

Shock I tell ya.

>>14771125

agreed

lotsa enemy derp strikers = deploy in reserves, and just roll onto the table after half his shit drops

>and another termie bit the dust due to the ratlings, and yes, I swear this is true, they failed their pinning test YET AGAIN.

>yesssss.avi

>>14771129

We are hanging on your every word, opie! Go on!

>>This thread

>>14771069
>only managed to kill 2 of them total with his whole turn of firing.
>MFW

>>14771140
I think there's something like what you just said written in "The Art of War". I think it went sommat like "If the enemy is crossing a river, do not hold at the edge, for if you do, their archers will pick you off. Do not let the whole of them cross. Instead, await for half their forces to be on your side, then strike".
Your example just makes more sense

The thunder wolves finished off one of the blob squads, and yeah, it sucked for Rob, but the other squad held on, even if they only had 25 or so guardsmen remaining.

But then a smile appeared on Rob's face, as his fucking Ogryns that he is so enamoured with rolled out of their Chimera, and led by Yarrick, entered the combat with the thunder wolves.

Now, anyone can tell you, Ogryns suck, they really do. They are down right horrible metal miniatures that are a pain in the nuts to put together, and they are a massive point sink.

But when they charged, they managed to actually turn two of the puppy riders to mush. They lost two Ogryns in return, along with another 7 or 8 guardsmen, but by that time the squad of somewhere near 10 thunder wolves had been reduced to 4 wolf riders and the lord, and it was time for Yarrick to make his presence felt.

Snip snip went his claw, and two wolves fell out their saddles, and now, now it looked like the tide had turned in Rob's favor.

Those termies who had been sitting close to the midfield, unable to do anything because they kept getting shot by that dead eye ratling?

They had power fists. They struck last.

The rough riders had power lances, and they struck first when they charged.

Somebody needs to either screencap this or archive it. This story is just too good.

posting in an epic thread made of pure win and guard awesomesauce!

>>14771129
Don't diss the humble grenade launcher...
S6 ap4 and a s3 blast is nice for 5 points.
It has worked wonders for me in fights.
They pop transports and menace hordes.

Though in an all comers list when running horde guard they are not the best choice... meltaguns or plasma tend to be better choices in those situations...

>>14771170
Im totally waiting for those guys who come in here whenever we mention Sun Tzu and say "That shit has no fucking bearing on the real world! you cant apply those rules to things like an ABSTRACT WARGAME!"

>>14771178

That is actually what you take Rough Riders for. They're 10pt terminatorterminators.

Posting in an epic thread
>weerseco energy
Captcha is exiceted

>>14770599
BUMP

>>14771178

fuck I was about to go to bed then this thread started

must stave off sleep

>>14771238
Same here. Need sleep, must wait...

>>14771178

Must... keep, thread, alive!

bumping for more

Now, rough riders are a joke right? They are just regular guardsmen everyone says, at least, I say it, I say it all the damned time when I watch them die to bolter fire uselessly.

But Rob, I swear he think's he's Ghengis Khan or something considering how often he uses them.

Now those termies were just sitting there, and a Manticore isn't going to shift them very well, what with their 2+ save. So when Rob charged them with the rough rider squads, I heard it from two tables over as everyone watching started laughing.

The laughter stopped when they realised that the lances are power weapons that strike with STR 5.

And Rob charged with 20 of the fuckers. Now, not every lance hit, and Rob didn't even hit the average on the bell curve with his rolls to be honest, but then again, against 8 termies, 16 hits were probably enough.

6 of those termies died with power lances smashed them in the face, and those last two termies did their job, they killed 3 guardsmen.

But Rob had won that combat, and those termies ran like the dogs they are. Now Rob thinks tactically, and he didn't persue. Seriously, why chase after them and make them take those fearless wounds when you can just run behind them and chase them off the board?

And that is just what those rough riders did for the rest of the game. While Yarrick was busy finishing off the thunder wolf lord with the help of his fellow commissars and their power fists, those riders chased the termies off the table.

After the meat of King Cool's army was dead, Rob had little difficulty focus firing the remaining grey hunters out of their rhino and hurrying them to their deaths with manticore fire.

Two rounds were over, and the three of us were still standing. In fact, since all three of us had won ourselves two games with pretty good scores, we held the #2, #3, and #5 spots in the rankings.

this is going to end with eating Reese's Puff Cereal for breakfast. Fucking calling it now.

>>14771320
he must have looked like Creed in this pic when the dust settled.

>>14771320
It's almost as if he's some kind of...tactical...genius...CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

>>14771320

I came.

>>14770599
Can I get your freinds Al's list please sounds fun.

But that guy the other store sent to the Ard Boys finals last year? His name is Travis, and he held the #1 spot, just one rank above me, so we had to face off on the top table. And while we didn't get a chance to meet at the finals last year, I had a feeling that this would make up for it.

Rob had it fairly good, he was in 5th, and he was going up against an Orc player who ran hoards and hoards of boyz, while Al was going to go into his first fight against dark eldar.

By now, the three of us were getting the general feeling that we weren't welcome at this store. Here we were, three guys who weren't part of their crowd, who gamed at the store they hated, and we were making their best players look like our bitches, and making it look easy.

While most of the players in that clique weren't exactly friendly, there were a few bright spots, like the Necron player Jack, who despite not getting a single point in the tournament, was having a lot of fun making fun of Bob, who had apparently declared that the final table was going to be him vs Travis.

Jack made that greasy fucker eat crow all night long, and every time that Bob yell at him that he needed to shut up, he hadn't won a fucking thing and barely had enough miniatures to even make an army up, Jack just kept heckling that rancid fuck.

It was starting to get ugly between them when the store owner finally told Jack and Bob to shut up or leave, at that point, Bob, who was somewhere in the middle of the pack, but nowhere near able to take over anyone in the top 7 decided to pick up his Blood Angels and take his stench party home.

Good Riddance.

>metric Jonagov

I don't know what a Jonagov is, but now it's a unit for measuring awesomeness.

>>14771320
where was that little bitch bob ranked?

>>14771410

>>14771410
I hope this thread makes it till the morning because now I have to go to sleep.
Posts some Lists later on mate. Al's if you can.
G'night

This thread goes good with popcorn.

>cannot materst

>>14771320
>Now, rough riders are a joke right?
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

this thread makes me so happy

BUMP FOR GLORY AND HONOUR

THIS THREAD HAS NOW MADE ME WANT TO PLAY GUARD.

COMING FROM CHAOS, ALL DAY, ERRY DAY, THIS MEANS A LOT.

CAPS LOCK.

This thread is made of chocolate and sex.

>>14771320

I am picturing Commissar Genghis Rob who drives his unit of rough riders into battle, threatening to put a power lance in the skull of any man who does not follow his tactically enlightened commands.

pic related, its another brilliant Rough Rider commissar.

>>14771463

Try taking Straken and allying with some Sisters of battle: counts as Lost and the Damned with pre-implant chaos marine recruites. Lead by a Chaos marine champion.

>>14771494
>>its another brilliant Rough Rider Lord General
FTFY

Oh god this thread.

Awesome.

Jack decided that since we were the guys everyone was pissed about, that he wanted to come hang out with us while we all ate pizza and waited before round three began. He was a new player, and yeah, he didn't have much in the way of an army, but he'd gotten hooked on the Necrons because of their fluff, their look, and the fact the he loved the Terminator movies.

We were laughing and cutting up when lunch ended, and it became time to put up or shut up on the reason we had come.

Now, in the way the tourny points were working, One point separated myself and Travis in the rankings, and people lower ranked like Jack were actually not even bothering to play their games and just clustered around the three tables that we were fight on.

So there it was, the guys from across town had come to their store, had kicked the shit out of their players, and were one game away from taking their prize support and counting one hell of a coup in the war between stores.

Travis? He's one of those hardcore players, you know the type. He shaved points that weren't needed from his list, and he made everything work together in a very tight, very cohesive list that had almost no fat.

In a game with a comp score, he would have never gotten a positive score, but this was winner take all, and that fit the two of us perfectly. Our mission? Simple.

There was one point in the center, just one objective. But whoever held it at the end of turn 6 was the winner.

And his chaos marines were pretty fucking good at winning.

This thread makes me want to play imperial guard even more then the Creed+titans shenanigans in this thread

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14694420

>>14771494

You know, the Krieg list has Rough Rider command squads as an HQ...
http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/Downloads/Product/PDF/k/kreig.pdf

>>14771507
AND SO WE LEFT AND HAD REECE'S PUFFS FOR BREAKFAST

>>14771507
>Chaos Marines

Oh, it's on now.

>>14771507
>>Chaos marines
>>Good at winning
>>What the fuck am I reading.jpg

>>14771507

TYPE FASTER, DAMN YOU!

>>14771494
Easy, soldier! You spooked Felicity.

>>14771507

>Chaos Marines

>>14771567
>objective-based game
>plague marines.

>>14771533
Called it.

>>14771507

Now Travis plays Thousand Suns. Not Thousand Sons backed up with other marines like fucking Nurgle or KILLMAIMBURN Khorne, nope. Just 100% Thousand Sons.

Oh, and 8 packs of summoned lesser daemons that his Thousand Suns would summon from inside their 4 land raiders.

He had a DP with wings, some Spell that made no fucking difference (You'll see why), and a single dread, that he had done up on a floating disc. It looked awesome.

I on the other hand, was running 2 squadrons of regular vanilla russ's, 1 squadron of 2 demolishers, 4 squads of vets with demo charges, 2 of whom had melta and the other 2 plasma, marbo, a platoon for some HW support that consisted of 2 lascannon squads, and 3 autocannon squads, and a platoon commander with 4 flamers in a chimera, oh yeah, and Marbo. My CCS had trip plasma, a medic, and a master of ordnance for an extra pie plate.

Yes, it's not the standard net list. I don't own any manticores, and I don't want to, I like my Russ's that I own. I've got them converted up to look like WWII Shermans on crack, and I love them enough to take them even when people consider them not "point effective."

Now, Travis won the roll off, for first turn, and he deployed everything on the table in a long line, with his dred way off in the middle of fucking nowhere, which made no sense until I figured he didn't want it shooting his guys if it went kill crazy.

>>14771589
>thousand sons
>dreadnought

This guy was #1?

>>14771589
>4 land raiders
>8 packs of summoned daemons

How many points was this game, again?

rolled 35 = 35

>>14771589

>Just 100% Thousand Sons.
>pretty fucking good at winning.

>>14771618
>How many points was this game, again?
What do YOU think?

>>14771627

>>14771611
>Winged DP
ok
>4 Land raiders
Welp, this shit is going to be hard for Mr Flashlight
>Dred
>MFW

>>14771589
Just how fucking barren is your local metagame for this guy to be #1?

>>14771640

8999?

>>14771657

I think he means 'at this shop.'

>>14771627
>>14771611

You all have to understand, good players don't care about your netlists.

About three years ago or so, 'Ard Boys was won by a guy with Necrons. And every single player he went up against described it as playing the Deceiver. Not as in the Deceiver on the board. As in playing the goddamn cackling C'tan on the other side of the table.

>>14771627
Holy shit! Are those fucking Raver Burkas?!

cant_unsee.jpg

>>14771657

well....with a space wolves death star player, not very......

>>14771664
No way. I'm thinking 5000, 6500 at most. No way could it be higher than that.

Now, he spread out and was waiting for me to deply, and of course I did. The regular russ's held my flanks while the demolishers held my center. The vets in their chimeras hid behind the Russ's because hey, if there's AV 14 providing you cover, go for it. The HW teams sat on a small hill and smoked a few cigarettes while the company command squad sat behind them waiting to issue orders and the platoon HQ sat behind the demolishers waiting to move up.

The roll to seize the initiative?

Yep, that's right, a fucking 6, and I fucking grinned like a madman. Fowards went the Russ squadrons, forward went the chimeras, and forward went everything not called the HW teams or my CCS.

Now, the shooting on my first turn? It err... well... I didn't pass a single order I issued, I didn't hit with a single Russ, and none of the Lascannon did a damned fucking thing.

The autocannons however? Yeah, they kinda sat there and looked pissed that they couldn't hurt the Land Raiders, so instead they decided they wanted to murder the Daemon prince.

Which they failed to do. In fact, they failed so badly in their shooting, that I was about to have Rob's Guardsman killing Commissar come over and make an example of them before the one bright spot in my firing happened.

That Master of Ordinance with his 3 dice of deviation? Two 1's and a 2 to land smack dab on top of the dread and crush it out of existence.

Travis had looked mildly concerned at the amount of fire I was throwing out, but when he saw my dice fail me so badly, he must have gotten a big morale boost, I know the onlookers who supported him did.

>>14771674
It's not about spamming LashPrinces and Oblits.

I am just surprised that the #1 player uses such ineffective/overcosted units and is described as shaving off points from his list.

>>14771674
Bull shit, because my friend lost in the final round against that guy. And it wasnt his Necron list that won, it was the "Lets plat the mission longways with a deviating always on the board and blocking LOS Void Template that for some reason always scattered away from the Necron player."

I call bullshit on your statement good sir.

>>14771589

Ya'll want my list? Crunch the numbers on that, you'll figure it out pretty quick. Hint, it's less than 3000.

Well shit.

It has to get better from here right? I hope you didn't string up along like this just to fail in the final battle.

>>14771688
you made me laugh so much I sucked my hair into the back of my throat. man that hurt.

>>14771694
>>14771674

but considering he's running around with thousand sons and chaos dreads, he must have one hell of a plan

>>14771695

Sounds like exploiting the mission and a dose of butthurt.

>>14771712

Oh, I was just wondering at what point level this tournament was running at. And how did he have 4 land raiders? 1000sons can't take them as transports. Did he have some terminators?

>>14771747
Im not saying, Im just saying.

When you dont actually get to play a game, its hard to say you were beaten by a superior opponent.

>>14771736
My inner rational gamer says "Inefficient choices in an underpowered codex are not the sign of a rational player, much less a good player."


My true gaming side says "This magnificent bastard is up to something!"

1999; sestingd

I swear, if OP starts walking the dinosaur...

Come on, OP, don't leave us hanging!

>>14771789
>>14771533

What's up with all the fucking /b/tards? I mean, really.

>>14771817

probably not used to having an actual story being told on 4chan

or they're just bored

So Travis rolled forward with his Raiders, and their lascannons killed one of my left Russ's, and tore the turret off the other. His DP flew forward and rolled boxcars to do his spell, which made me snicker.

However, one other shot landed than the one which hurt my pair of Russ, and it nailed my Platoon HQ's chimera, and blew that tin can sky high. When it landed, there wasn't a soul inside of it left alive, which made me a terribly sad man, that PHQ had served me well, and to see those brave guardsmen die brought a tear to my eye until I remembered that they hadn't done a fucking thing all tournament long except kill 5 marines, so I got over it and soldiered on.

Again my guns rumbled, and this time I managed to Immob one of the Raiders his Sons were riding in as well as knock the lascannons off another one. My Russ's failed to hurt the DP who was hiding behind Just enough of a hill to be blocked from the LOS of the ones which could still shoot. My autocannons? Yeah, they did nothing. The Melta vets behind the left Russ's that weren't effective anymore took off towards the center in the hopes of trying to draw the prince out so I could nail him with melta, plasma, and demo charges.

He didn't oblige me at all, and instead when his turn came, he went after my HW teams as fast as he could. He came up just a few inches short of my HW teams, but close enough to make it obvious that next turn, unless my shooting got a hell of a lot better, he was going to start murdering them in ways that would be best described as biblical.

The two vets quads which had run forward in their chimeras ate it hard as 6 packs of summoned daemons showed up from one of the Raiders, ran forward as fast as their twitchy warped selves could, and surrounded the Chimeras closely enough that when the Chimeras died to lascannon fire, I couldn't deploy my vets at all and had to simply remove them without even getting a chance to fire at all.

>>14771817
you mean "People who've been around long enough to suspect people might make an epic win and epic fail which is actually an epic win thus fulfilling the Epic Axiom?"

you must be new here

>yureferm muscles

Well well well Captcha, are you getting fresh with me?

>>14771817
Once bitten, twice shy

>>14771859

Holy christ please stop saying 'epic'

>>14771894

epic

>>14771894
I miss epic scale games :(

>>14771859
>>14771861
I've seen quite a few awesome stories on /tg/, in my days, and few if any ended in the OP screwing people over. Still, urh.

Awaiting more story

>>14771894
Please forgive, Anon has been on tvtropes.

>>14771916

As long as you don't use 'em in real-life. It's excruciating to hear people say that.

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5!!!!!

>>14771925

I always say EPIC XD. I only voice the "XD" part though.

F5ING LIKE THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD

>>14771894
epoch

F5ING LIKE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR
OMAE WA MO KEYBOARD

The russ with no turret lost it's heavy bolter to another lascannon shot, and one of the demolishers was stunned from lascannon fire.

Now, I've got a winged DP standing in front of my HW teams, a CCS behind them with triple plasma just waiting to blast this bastard in the teeth, and a fucking hoard of invol save daemons just showed up right in front of my lines from the middle of nowhere.

I did what any sensible man would do in my position. I called for Marbo... Who was busy shaving with his murder blade and didn't bother to answer the phone.

So, angered at Marbo's lack of bothering to show the fuck up, I pulled a fast one, that wonderful single russ without any guns left, he sat just a few inches from that winged DP, and hell, I figured he's pretty much useless now, so why not go balls out and see if I can get away with one turn of my own jackassery. So I tank shocked the DP.

Now, I did this carefully, the CCS moved up to box him in, and yes, I moved my autocannons to almost surround the guy, leaving just enough room for the Russ to move in and crush him under the treads.

When I declared the Tank shock, Travis looked like he almost shit himself. He had nowhere to move to, he couldn't go through my HW teams, and he couldn't go through the Chimera, so all he could do was stand there and hope to stop the Russ with his one free hit on AV 14.

It didn't work to well for him.

Your tourny winners go to Chicago?
Where do you game? Armored Gopher reporting.

FFFFFFFF- I need to sleep but I want to see the glorious ending of this saga.

COME ON OP, STEP IT UP!

>>14771985

>>14771985

With the DP gone, I started my typical shooting formula, lowest str that can do the job first, building from one target to the next in order of priority once the orders are out of the way. First the lasguns from my two squads that had flamers and nothing else that were foot slogging behind my tanks, then the plasma guns from my remaining vets, then the melta, the demo charges, the two regular russ, and finally the only Demolisher that could shoot.

4 squads of the demons vanished in that turn, but he still had 2 more on the table, and he had 4 more in reserve just waiting to come on and pull another bubble wrap murder.

So my lascannons fired the shit out of the closest Raider that had summoned the daemons the last time, and it wrecked it. Now, the Thousand Sons piled out of it, but my shooting? It was spent, and I couldn't kill the bastards before they would get another chance to summon again.

But, that said, I held the center of the table with my vets.

He started the summoning again, and yes, the rest of the daemons showed up ready to play. This time however, they weren't quite in range to pull a bubble wrap, but the two squads that had survived were close enough to charge the chimeras the vets were hiding in.

Both of them were immobilized when the daemons hit them, but none of my boys had to bail out thankfully.

Now, the Land Raiders should have shot the shit out of my two forward Chimeras with their Lascannons, but they didn't. Travis was pissed at me killing his DP under the treads of my tank, so instead, he spent all his shooting killing that weaponless Russ, and he didn't even get it to explode when he finally killed it, just a single wrecked.

>>14772053

LOL

>>14772053

Wait, 10 total summoned daemon units? I thought it was 8. And how did he have 4 land raiders, dammit!?

Between the Raiders, the 10 daemon squads, the DP, and FOUR thousand sons squads...

Damn I wish I could have seen this game in person.

>>14772053

>>14771998
>>14771998

I must have MORE.

>mourning, theout
IT'S LIKE CAPTCHA KNOWS

This troll is quite good and subtle. Plenty of things have been wrong with this from the start, but he can get people excited obviously.

I MUST HAVE MORE

>>14772134

Like?

>>14772134

Are you high?

>>14771985
>When I declared the Tank shock, Travis looked like he almost shit himself. He had nowhere to move to, he couldn't go through my HW teams, and he couldn't go through the Chimera, so all he could do was stand there and hope to stop the Russ with his one free hit on AV 14.

>It didn't work to well for him.

>one free hit against AV14

Pic related niggers.

That's what your 200 point Daemon Prince is when the Sherman tank of the future is done with him.

>>14772134

Can it really be considered a Troll if he makes people happy? Even if it is a fabricated story, it's entertaining.

Now, it's getting fairly late in the game, and I've got everything where I need it. Especially if where I need it is right in the middle of a tank graveyard.

My Demolishers roll up, and finally in enough range, start hammering the Raiders, opening up one of them with an explosion that killed three of the Thousand Sons. The other Russ took the first squad of Thousand Sons to task with their battle cannon, and only left 4 of them remaining. The CCS rolled forward and started hitting plasma into the daemons, as did the foot sloggers, the autocannons, and yes indeed, the fucking lascannons.

Sure it's swatting a fly with a nuke, but if all you have is a nuke, that fly better watch the fuck out.

4 squads of daemons, 3, 2!!!

And I'm out of shooting. And I've got Daemons surrounding two immobilized chimeras, which they then glance the guns off of on one, and wreck the other. Melta vets inside? No... not anymore.

Oh and Marbo? Yeah, that fucker was still busy shaving. Or taking a poop, I don't know which, but by god it must have been important because he wasn't showing up.

His turn, and I'm starting to sweat bullets here. It's two squads of daemons, two squads of thousand sons, and one working Land Raider against an immobilized chimera of plasma vets, two Russ, Two Demolishers, my CCS, my HW teams, and two foot slogger squads.

Oh, wait, no, there go the foot sloggers, that pack of angry daemons decided they wanted to eat the guardsmen, who died faster than you can say "Bob smells like a turd stuck in a microwave."

I've got a turn to do this right, and now, finally, on the automatic arrival, Marbo graces the table with his presence.

>>14772150
you're disgusting

>>14772143
Thousand sons being run in a persons army who makes it to the top of a tournament, let alone him having a dreadnaught and 4 Land Raiders.

A squad of 20 rough riders.
One of the armies consisting of 4 Tervigons and 2 Hive Tyrants.

Just plenty of small stuff.

Marbo saves the day by putting a demo charge in that last Land Raider's butthole?

>>14772107

Yeah, please remember that part. Remember the 2 extra squads of daemons, and that extra Land Raider. It's important.

>>14772166

Two squads of Rough Riders, 10 each.

>>14772166

The army described as having those had no other fast attack described.

Rough Riders are not 0-1.

The guy charged two full squads of RRs into one squad of termies.

Make sense?

>>14772166
>A squad of 20 rough riders.

Two squads of 10. He just said "Charged with 20 RRs," not "One squad of 20".

The TSons is still possible, if somewhat unlikely.

Also, it's also possible that the tourney modified the Force Org chart for certain missions, which is an irritatingly common occurence.

>>14772157
>Yeah, that fucker was still busy shaving. Or taking a poop,

He was obviously doing both while screwing your significant other in your command tent.

TACTICAL POOPAN'. TACTICAL SHAVAN'. TACTICAL NOT GIVAN' A FUCKA- Wait, scratch that last part. HE WAS OBVIOUSLY GIVAN' SOMEBODY A FUCKAN'.

Honestly, it sounds like this store doesn't check the rules much. That other guy thinking his assault marines could assault off the deep strike suggests that that's the way he's done it before. A lot of stores don't bother to check lists. It doesn't occur to the judges that four Land Raiders couldn't possibly fit in a list like that because they just don't know the rules all that specifically, or care to look over lists.

>>14772188
>>14772196
GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>I've got a turn to do this right, and now, finally, on the automatic arrival, Marbo graces the table with his presence.

Awwwwww yeah

Now, Marbo's shown up, and I've got me some Daemons and Thousand Sons that are in dire need of killing. Lascannons flash, autocannons fire, and yes, those Daemons vanish as does every single Thousand Son who is outside of a vehicle.

Then finally, the Demolishers land a hit that wrecks the Land Raider, and Marbo, marvelous Marbo is standing just 5 inches away from the Land Raider waiting for the Thousand Sons inside to pop right out and eat his demo charge.

And with a quick jerk of the pin, Marbo pulls it from the demo charge, discards the demo charge at his feet, and throws that pin as hard as he can at the freshly emerged Thousand Sons.

>>14770961
>4 or 5 tervigons
>2 hive tyrants

um, no.

>>14772229

HA.

>>14772229

sounds like he was off getting plastered to me

>>14772229

Oh lawd.

>>14772231
>he doesn't realize Tervigons count as troop choices

UH OH

>>14772229

>Marbo's face when...

>>14772245
>He doesnt know tervigons need a brood of gauts to become troops

UH OH

>>14772229

>>14772245

You can field ONE tervigon for each shooty guant unit you have. ONE.
That means the most you could possibly have is 3 as troops (3 units of shooty guants, 3 tervigons, 6 total troops choices).
2 hive tyrants would fill up the HQ slots.
"4 or 5" tervigons is 1 or 2 more than you can take in a standard list if they HQs are alread filled

>>14772245
One as a troops choice for every squad of gaunts in your army, so a max of 3 in troops. And with only 2 HQ slots...

>>14772229
>And with a quick jerk of the pin, Marbo pulls it from the demo charge, discards the demo charge at his feet, and throws that pin as hard as he can at the freshly emerged Thousand Sons.

>>14772275
>>14772271

OP did say to remember this shit for later, so all is not lost just yet. Stay tuned.

>>14772285

What? Are you talking about his 3rd game? What the what?

>>14772231
Sir, 4 Tervigons and 2 Hive Tyrants is absolutely within normal list restrictions. You can take a Tervigon as a troops choice for every termagaunt unit in your army.

C'mon OP!

Yeah, that's right, Marbo, that magnificant bastard blows himself right the fuck up.

And I've got no shooting left to toss out, and here come those 10 Thousand Sons marines, and they march their way right up to the Objective, and they sit there, thumb their noses at me, and go to ground.

And I'm thinking to myself, Alright, I can do this, I can kill this son of a bitch in the last turn. There's 10 marines, I've got this!

BAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

There goes the fucking timer, round over at the end of turn 5.

And I'm fucking livid, it's 2.5 hours per game, I was sure I had enough time to finish off those 10 marines, so I reach into my pocket to check the timer I had set at the start of the round, and right as I do...

BAZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Fuck, I guess their timer was right, he holds the Objective, and I'm honestly pissed. I thought for certain that I had the game won, I was sure as shit that I had just trounced the living FUCK out of this guy. But no, instead his game store friends were handing out handshakes and backslaps, and cheering him on for winning over the "enemy from across town."

And the points count starts, and I've got 4th. With Rob and Al having 2nd and 3rd. It wasn't a clean sweep, but it was good enough, except I was just pissed. I had wanted us to pull off the clean sweep and really piss in those fuckers cheerios.

And then the Store owner, starts announcing the prizes. 1st place is $200, 2nd is 100, and 3rd is 50. And then he starts to read off the points score from the bottom up.

And in Last Place... JACK! WOO!!! Al, Rob, and I all cheer for him, because honestly, he was a hell of a good guy, and besides, he hated Bob.

>>14772298
And there are 6 troops choices. So 3 units of termagaunts allows for 3 tervigons as troops. that is the limit. He would be able to take 2 as HQs, but those were already filled (there are 2 of those, by the way) by the tyrants.

Learn2count

>>14772298
Is this guy retarded?

>>14772298
My apologies, I don't know why I thought you could field 8 troops choices.

>>14772229
Goddammit, this thread has been glorious but that takes the cake. I lol'd harder at this than anything on the whole of /tg/ in the last week. Made my night. Thank you OP, Thank you.

>>14772318

Is this whole thread just OP samefagging his own compliments?

>>14772318
bad end

>>14772318

Oh, oh, I get it! They read his list and realize it is illegal so you win!

>>14772341
I know Im not op, Ive been following this and bouncing back to the warmahordes thread >>14770919

>>14772341

And then the number one guy gives you 200 dollars right? because you gave him the best fight he'd ever had, right?

>>14772318

>>14772318

Well fuck. Good game though.

>>14772318
That end was almost as bad as Bel-air.
Still thanks for the story OP.
Off to bed now feeling slightly deflated :(

>>14772356
>>14772350
>>14772341

Bloody hell, we've got cynicism coming out the arse today.

Its fucking coming! You fucking know it!

>>14772366
>>14772370
No way this shit's over. I refuse to believe it. Confirm or reveal, OP.

>>14772384
>>14772370

Have a bit of fucking patience, eh?

Good god, you dumbasses, OP's not finished the point score counting.

The list drones on, and finally we are hearing the top 5 places.

#5, some New York guy who has moved down here for college.
#4. Me.
#3. Al.
#2. Rob.
#1. Travis.

And the owner pulls out these three gift certificates, good for product, but only for GW product and hands Al and Rob theirs, and is right about to hand Travis his certificate when out of left field Jack, blessed wonderful new bro Jack asks a question.

"Hey Shawn, was there a FOC change for the tournament?"

Huh?

Now, I don't play Chaos, and I hardly ever face Chaos, because really, nobody at my store plays them, and the last time I saw some was a long time ago until today.

And Shawn, the owner looks at Jack and has this really confused look on his face and just kind shakes his head.

"No, strictly normal."

And Jack nods his head and smiles this gigantic shit eating grin as he says the words that made my fucking day.

"Then Travis cheated with his army list and OP over there won."

DEAD. FUCKING. SILENCE. The whole goddamned game store is silent, people are giving hate filled stares toward Jack as I finally realize that the Chaos Land Raiders are not dedicated transports like the marines I'm used to facing.

And I couldn't help it, I fucking snorted and then I giggled. Yeah, that's right, me a 6'3 250lb bald white guy giggled like a school girl into the silence that filled the store.

Ultra bump.

>>14772350

areyouawizard.jpg

>>14772275

>>max of 3 in troops
>>troops
>>max

pick one, and then GET THE FUCK OUT YOU MOUTHBREATHING ASPIE WHO DOES NOT KNOW THE BASIC RULES OF THE GAME.

I mad.

>>14772424

>>14772424
Shit, OP, for a guy who played against a cheater, you did a damned good fucking job.

>>14772424
OP's face when

HAHAHA. Excellent! GO JACK.

You can't stop there. There's -got- to be some massive fallout afterwards. I hope you bought that guy a thank you dinner or something. Cause DAMN.

>>14772440
3 goes to the gants which are needed to make the tervis troops which means a max of 3 tervis

>>14772424
> mfw Jack is broseiden-tier

>>14772440
Force Organization chart, Page 87 of the main rulebook:

Compulsory:
1 HQ
2 troops

Optional:
1 HQ
3 elites
4 Troops
3 Fast Attack
3 Heavy support.

Warhammer fantasy has unlimited Core choices, but 40k has a max of 6 troops. That's probably the source of your confusion.

>>14772440
To take a tervigon in the troops section

you must first have one squad of termagants

you may take a tervigon as a troops choice for each unit of termagants in the army

there are 6 troops slots in the standard FOC. Ergo; the maximum number of troops choice tervigons is 3 (three units of termagants, three tervigons)

chances are OP didn't take a close look at the game, and got the story second-hand from his friend. cut him some slack

>>14772424

Oh man the look on his face had to have been priceless.

>>14772440
For the last time. You can only take THREE tervigons as troops because you have to take a termagaunt unit for each one. As there are 6 total troops choices, the most you can field is 3 termagaunt units to unlock 3 tervigons as troops.

This has been mentioned at least 3 times so far. READ. THE. DAMN. POSTS.

I'm tired of typing this out for people.

>>14772440
Holy fucking shit. I didnt know someone could literally, fuck their own asshole. But now that ive seen it, i believe it.

You sir, shut the fuck up and read up on what the fuck your talking about.

>>14772424
DID JACK JUST CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ALL OVER THAT FUCKING TOURNAMENT?! BECAUSE I THINK HE FUCKING DID!

>>14772424

Ha ha, glad to see his ego deflate like a popped balloon.

Only way this could have ended better is having OP win the match against the cheating scum-sucker, and then letting Mr. God-Tier bro Jack drop his bombshell and leave Travis a loser and a "caught red-handed" cheater. As it stands, props to you OP for making it so good a run against an illegal army. If Marbo hadn't gone all allah-akbar on you, you'd have made a clean show of it.

Is there more? PLEASE say that there's more.

>>14772424
Jack is a bro.

I think simply being named Jack makes you a solid bro. I can't think of anyone named Jack who isn't a magnificent bastard.

Jackie Chan
Jack Black
Captain Jack Morgan
Jack the Ripper
The list goes on.

Pic related, its a Jack Russel Terrier - awesome dogs.

>>14772350

Called it.

Bitches for Jack!

>>14772517

Standing over by the store owner, Travis's face just went white with shock.

And now the yelling, always the yelling, and the shouting about how the game had been played out so the result had to stand from Travis's friends, and there's Al standing beside me, all motherfucker this, and you cocksucker that, and Rob's right beside him yelling his fucking head off about how the whole goddamned store was full of cheaters and liars for the whole goddamned tournament, and how the three of us were the only people with legal lists other than the people who lost.

And this went on for about maybe 5 minutes, and there in the middle, is this fat balding store owner waving his hands in the air trying to get everyone to shut up and nobody does.

And I stop laughing and start adding my frustrated oxen like bellows to the noise. And I'm pointing at Travis and calling him every name under the book, and not even coming close to letting up. I mean, yeah, if there hadn't been a table between the two of us, I would have probably gone after him right then I was so pissed off at being cheated.

And Jack's there beside the store owner and the two of them are talking, and nobody else is listening, and I'm about to flip the gaming table and go after Travis, when the owner sounds that buzzer again, and it cuts through the noise and gets our attention before it gets worse.

"You three take your certificates and your armies and get out."

And like that, the anger and yelling started up again, only now everyone is yelling at Jack and the owner, who hands me the certificate. And we're packing up to leave, still cussing people and yelling loud as shit at everyone as much as possible.

You want geek/nerd rage? This place was full of it right then.

>>14772480
The look on everyone's face must have been priceless. That's the kind of singular moment that you get immortalized in a sixteen foot long oil painting called "The Vetting of the Lists" by Caravaggio or Diego Velázquez.

CLASSIC. GODDAMN. ART.

Oh, Travis had 4 Heavy Support and 8 Troops?

>>14772537
please tell me Jack is now a regular at the other store.

>>14772511
MFW when I am Jack

(Not the one in the story)

>>14772511
Samurai Jack
<-- Jack Burton

>>14772511

Jack Skellington
Jack Sparrow, Captain
Jack (and the Beanstalk)
Jack Burton
Jack (of all trades)
Jack (and Jill, but she's a bitch, so fuck her)
Jack (jumped over the candle stick)
Jack (off)
Captain Jack (an anti-drug Billy Joel song, the 'jack' refers to a dealer and "Captain Jack" also refers to getting jacked with opium, i believe, since you inject yourself with it)

And who could forget:
SAMURAI JACK!

You gotta feel sorry for that store owner.

>>14772579
Yeah. He has to deal with these bastards all the time.

beautiful, OP. It's like the barforama story from Stand By Me.

>>14772572
>Jack Burton
I love you

>>14772579

Indeed. Poor guy.

>>14772511
Don't mind me... just integrating baseball.

>>14772537

well sunnovabitch

As someone said earlier, I hope Jack goes to your store now;)

>>14772567
>Oh hey this is a pretty good story, I guess it's ok if I stay up until 2:30 reading it

>Well, that was good. I think I'm gonna save this somew-

>wait

>Is that Big Trouble in Little China?

Curse my complete lack of impulse control. I had plans to do some good sleeping tonight.

Jack Chick
Jack Kevorkian
Jack Thompson
Furry Webcomic Jack

OP owes jack a box of necrons at least :D

>>14772554
Only 4 HS and 4 troops. Deamons are count as troops but not troops themselves iirc.

Out into the parking lot we walked, pissed as shit, and out comes some of their fucking gamers, still pissed and yelling, and I'm standing there, my arms full of army just like Al and Rob, and I'm about to just put it on the ground and wade into the crowd with Al and Rob right beside me, at least, so I thought.

Instead Al puts his minis in his car, and takes Rob's and mine to my truck (Rob rode with me to the store since his Escape is in the shop for a new transmission) and the yelling continues, but it's starting to slack off as people finally realize to calm the fuck down before three very angry guys who just stomped their store gaming wise, start thinking about doing it to the players as well.

And we're done, the argument ends, and I reach a hand that is literally shaking with rage into my pocket and pull out a cigarette (Marlboro Reds FTW), and right as I light my cigarette, Jack comes walking out of the store trying to apologize for how the store acted and everything else, and honestly, I'm thinking this kid is alright because he's been cool as fuck with us all day long, he called Travis out as a cheater, and most importantly, he fucking hates Bob.

And as I finish my cigarette, I shake his hand, tell him to come game with us over at our store some time and hand him my certificate.

Jacks standing there wondering what the fuck is going on, and Al hands him his certificate as well and Al, fucking awesome wonderful Al said everything that needed to be said.

"Fuck this place, buy your army and come play with us."

Because honestly, fuck that store.

JACK IS NOW A MEME!!!!!!!!!!!

>>14772643

Best.


Ending.


EVER.

Jack Kennedy, the president who got the most pussy.

>>14772643
What is the name of that store? Tell us!
Is it in Springfield?

>>14772650
Uh, not anymore it's not.

Thank you Op.

>>14772650

Jack antithesis to That Guy.

>>14772650
you you you you

>>14772650

>Last place
>Decide first place

>>14772643
I stayed up way too late waiting to hear the ending, and OP, you did not disappoint.
This story is awesome and you should FEEL awesome.

>satisfying hotell
Damn straight, captcha.

OP! You three better had done the three amigos dance before you mounted up and rode of into the sunset !!!
P.S. you legends :D

>>14772643

>>14772643
this is glorious!

What could have been a better ending?

You win a tough tournament,

You put some asshats in their place,

You got the last laugh

You got a new bro,

And Jack got an army and a new store to which he can go.

Also, screw Bob.

OP I love you and your group, and this is how I forever picture you now.

Jack just played you guys and the store to get the gift certificates. He was poor, wanted some warhammers and devised this masterful plan to get it all.

Jack is Tzeentch

>>and honestly, I'm thinking this kid is alright because he's been cool as fuck with us all day long, he called Travis out as a cheater, and most importantly, he fucking hates Bob.
>>thinking

Oh no, not Jack...

>>14772724

My god, you're right!

>>14772643

That is awesome. Where's that harmony picture when you need it?!

Now then. Lists, ya'll wanted lists.

I don't have Al's or Robs with me, but I know mine by heart.

CCS, 3Plasma, MoO, Chimera. ML+HHF.
Vets, Trip Plasma + Demo + Shotguns, Chimera, ML+HHF. 2 of these.
Vets, Trip Melta, Demo, Shotguns, Chimera, ML+HHF. 2 of these also.
2 regular russ.
2 regular russ.
2 demlishers.
Platoon HQ, 4 Flamers, Chimera, ML+HHF.
Squad 1, Flamer.
Squad 2, Flamer.
HWS 1, 2, 3 Autocannon.
HWS 4, 5 Lascannon.
Marbo.

which city was this game in?

>>14772751

<3

And yeah, I don't know about the tervigons to be 100% honest. I only got a chance or two to look at their table, and all I know is there were a fuckload of MC's on that table, and I think 3 squads of gaunts that didn't come from being shit out by the whatever the fucks.

And yes, before anyone starts calling bullshit.

Nope. Not Bullshit.

And not Springfield either.

But yes, Fuck Bob, that fucking cocksucker.

No clue if Jack will come over to our store to hang out and play, but considering how much shit went down, I doubt he's going to be very welcome over there anymore.

>>14772775

Well it's not like you can be responsible for knowing the list of EVERYONE at the tournament. You said there were 20 people there, right?
God I wish there were that many wargammers around here.
This happened this Saturday, didn't it?

Awesome.

Robs list, best as I can recall, was
Yarrick + 4 Ogryns + Bone'ead. Chimera, ML, HHF, 1 shot missile.
2 squads of Rough Riders.
2 Manticores.
2 Squads Ratlings (10)
2 platoons, both with 4 squads of guardsmen with grenade launchers, power weapons, commissars with fists.
2 PCS's with 3 flamers + 1 Heavy Flamer.
Autocannon HW squads, and a few Lascannons, maybe one or two squads worth.

Stop by Champaign some time.
We got all the wacky shit going on.

>>14772763
That's what I want to know. Familiar assholes sound familiar.

>>14772632
All hilarious people to laugh at.

What exactly is "Prize support" anyway?

>>14772795

> 20 Ratlings

Oh god wat

>>14772802
Free shit for winning. Usually store credit.

>>14772805
IG player here, Ratlings are fucking HYSTERICAL against the right opponents.

Ratlings + Creed = SUFFER NOT THE MONSTROUS CREATURE/ LIGHT VEHICLE TO LIVE

>>14772796
>>14772796
Wait... is that the Armored Gopher?

>>14772792

Yep, gaming started at 9am CST.

Al's list again, best as I can recall.

CCS, Trip Plasma, Medic, Officer of the Fleet, Carapace.
4 Platoons.
Each CCS, 4 sniper rifles.
each platoon 2 squads, flamers, commissar.
1st platoon 5 HW squads, Hbolters.
2nd platoon, 5 HW squads, Hbolters.
3rd platoon, 5 HW squads, Autocannons.
4th Platoon, 3 HW squads maybe? Not sure. Lascannons.

Hey OP, as long as you're giving out lists, I don't suppose you could give us your best recollection of Travis's list?
What was it about the list that was rule-breaking?

>>14772826
Yep. And this is that guy with the Star Wars Imp Guard.

>>14772833

4 heavy support choices. You can only have 3.

Yeah, Travis's list.

He's almost on the Fuck you level as Bob is.

Winged DP.
8 Squads of Summoned Daemons, 10-15 each. (NOT 10 YOU SLIMY COCKSUCKER!)
4 10 man Squads of Thousand Sons, with Sorc and Icon.
4 Land Raiders. (MOTHERFUCKER!)
1 Dread, no clue WTF it had, it was beautiful, but never did anything but get shot.

>>14772827

Sweet.

Thank you for the wonderful story (and for the lists provided). It's been awhile since I've enjoyed a thread so much.

>>14772841

Actually, I dunno if the Dread is a HS slot or not, if it is, he brought 5, not 3.

>>14772837
Dude.

Watch out for the swinging logs and Ewoks.

If you know what I mean.

>>14772639
But according to OP:
.>>14772188
the 2 extra squads of daemons, and that extra Land Raider

Is there a maximum of 8 daemon units or something?

>this story
Everyone involved is a terrible person.

>>14772876
shut up Bob

>>14772866
Watch out for them? They're my Ratlings, I'm always on the look out to get more of them!
See ya monday.

>>14772862
Dread is elites. But all 4 raiders were heavy.

The Daemons were fine though, they count as troops but don't use the force org chart.

BONUS LIST! Bob the Faggot!

Sanguinor.
Astoroth.
Honor Guard, JP's, Priestly dude, 2 fists, 2 power swords.
6 Assault Squads. 10 men, jump packs, 3 with two melta, 3 with two flamer. Pfist in each.
6 Priests, jump packs. Power swords.
Sanguinary Guard. 1 with a fist.

That list ate demo charges and pie plates when he found out he couldn't charge on the turn he dropped. I guess he plays wrong with everyone else not named me.

I do know he did the drop charge on his opponent in the first turn. How do I know? His first game was vs Jack.

>>14772837
>>14772826

Where?

>>14772895

What. An. Asshole.

Thanks for sharing, OP.

>>14772889
> See ya monday.
Oh I guarantee you won't, I'm only there every other Sunday. And I KNOW Cliff ain't a fa/tg/uy.

>>14772876

Fuck you Bob. If it's you reading this, fuck you in the ear you white trash piece of shit. I fucking raped your goddamned list you cheating mother fucker. Learn to take a fucking bath, brush your fucking teeth, wash your hair, wear deodorant, and WASH YOUR FUCKING SHIRT! IT'S COVERED IN FUCKING STAINS!

Goddamn greasy white trash looking motherfucker with your long giraffe neck, You got a new job yet, or are you still thinking that any school on the world is going to take someone as fucked up looking and nasally sounding as you on as a teacher. I swear to god, you look like a more horrible version of Carl from Aqua Team Hunger Force meets Chester the Molester

>>14772895
>demo charges

>>14772914

That may have given a bit to much away.

>>14772922
Eh who cares OP. Do you know what Jack bought with his winnings yet?

OP is god-tier storyteller. That is an incredible showdown. Has this been archived yet?

>>14772885
>>14772914
>>14772922
>implying I'm bob
>Not noticing I said everyone
>everyone includes you and bob

Chaos player here. Let's count up Travis' points, shall we?

-DP+Wings is 130 minimum
-8x 10-man Daemons is at least 1040
-4 barebones Land Raiders is 880
-4 TS squads w/Icons has to be at least 1128 with the Sorcerer's mandatory psychic power
-Dread's at least 100.

That's at least 3278 points, absolutely bare bones. Iunno what the point limit you were supposed to bring, but god damn, OP, you did good.

Also posting in an epic thread.

A very entertaining read OP. I kind of wish I had something interesting happen with my local wargaming scene, but I don't think having this amount of rage would be very healthy in the long run. The closest thing I heard about is some notorious poor sport/powergaming THAT GUY ragequitting and walking out of one of the bigger tourneys in the area some years ago.

Anyways, are the pics you posted in your first few post yours? Because if they are daaammmnn.

>>14772936
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14770599/

>>14772936
Just made my own .pdf archive of this awsome thread

>>14772852

Oh wait, he only paid for 8 of the daemon squads? Fucking cheating bitch.

>>14772946

Then you sir, can smoke a turd in hell.

Glad that those who enjoyed it, enjoyed it. Those arguing about points values, 2750. Those arguing about Tervigons, remember, not my game, not really sure how many Tervigons there were, just lots of MC's is what I saw.

And most importantly, Fuck Bob.

>>14772852

Waitwaitwaitwaitwiatwaitwiat.

Even if he only paid points for 8 (10 strong) daemon squads, 4 (10 man) Sons squads, 3 land raiders, a daemon prince (w/ mark of tzeentch and the 10pt power), and a NAKED dread (cheapest mandatory weapon is 10pts) his army would have been:

3128pt (and that's if the sorc took the cheapest power and non of the vehicles had any upgrades)
3518, including the illegal Land Raider and extra 2 daemon squads

There is no way that tournament was playing at 3000+ pts. It's almost impossible to finish timed games at 2000pts.

This mothafucka was playing over a THOUSAND points over you, and you still only lost because of 1 fucked up deviation role and time.

Madre. De. Dios.

>>14773012

Oh, it was that many points? Then he was at LEAST 768pts over.

And remember, that's w. everything but the prince being butt nekkid.

>>14773023

Meaning you kick six kind of ass, OP. Coming within a hairsbreath from victory (you were defeated by time, not him) with a handycap enough to buy 3 land raiders is more than impressive.

You rock.

Ave Imparator

>>14773023

...and that is how you use 1000 Sons and win a tourney, kids.

Cheat like a motherfucker. It pleases Tzeentch.

>>14773056
if when he was caought he said "just as planed " all would have been forgiven

>>14773023

If he did take 15 daemons per squad (I only calculated 10 before), that's another 650pts (5 extra daemons x 10 squads at 13pts/model).

So he was playing somewhere between 750 to 1400 points over the limit. Plus vehicle upgrades.

Damn

Bravo!
Bra-fucking-vo!

I salute and applaud you and your bros!

>>14773086

He mis-interpreted, ze ruelz.

>>14773086
How in the WORLD did nobody notice that?

>cognitive @stroom
Damn right, captcha

>>14773131

Maybe enough daemons (and other stuff) died in between summonings that no one got to see them all together. Not to mention the Sons were in raiders most of the time

My mind is fucking blown.

Everything about this story blows my mind.

Thank you for taking the time to share this story with us, OP.
And tell Jack he is a hero to the internet.

No clue on upgrades on the Raiders. All they really did was sit and shoot lascannons and hide the 1k sons from being pulverized. The daemons I'm pretty sure some were 10 and some were 15. How many of each however... man, I really dunno.

>>14773299

The middle ground is still about a thousand points over.

>>14773305

Yeah, I kinda figured that out when Rob and I were talking on the way to drop him at his house. I think we came up with right around 8-900 or so without knowing what was on the dread, or exact numbers on his daemon squads.

i would so buy you jack rob and al a drink if i knew where you guys were

You can't put power fists on comissars who arent attached to command squads, so your buddy with the blob squads was using an illegal list.

Hmm. Good point, I'll ask him about that. Now however, I'm going to sleep the sleep of the just.

I DUB THIS STORY "JACK, THE ULTRA BRO!"

All y'all seem to be forgetting a Jack.

That's right, Candlejack.