>>15762600
Look for something sharp to murder.

[x] Not give a shit.

I go back to sleep, perhaps tomorrow will be a better day...

Kill the very first living thing I see.

FUCK SOMEONE'S DAY UP

I conquer all before me. Today is the day my nation rises! Viva la Badgeria!

>>15762614
>Look for something sharp to murder.

You get up and briskly trot eastward. Looking for something POINTY to take out your anger on. You let loose a SAVAGE HOWL as you spot a triangular ROCK sticking out of the ground.

You spend a good fifteen minutes letting it know that it is a worthless little SHIT that will never amount to anything, and is like the turd of a larger ROCK. As you trot away a bit of dew drips down the side of it.

The PUNKASS is crying.

>>15762600
Go to get some food and fuck someone's day over.

>>15762649
Fucking faggots!

Let's go get some food after that ass-whopping!

>>15762666
>666

Something UNHOLY is mixing with your anger. A new RAGE. A new kind of HATE. The HUNGER inside you yearns for something...

You continue your trot and spy a COBRA.

ROLL 1D20 FOR ATTACK.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15762685
Eat his corpse, for he is already dead.

>>15762697
As you charge towards the BITCH of a COBRA the cobra seems unsettled by you and begins to FLEE.

Fucking coward doesn't deserve an honorable death. BUT YOU WOULDN'T GIVE HIM ONE EVEN IF HE DID!

You POUNCE on it and RIP and TEAR until it's head is severed from it's body.

You eat it's body, and only the head remains.

Your vision briefly flashes RED. You hear a buzzing in your ear... something... something in the background...

>>15762736
Fucking what is buzzing? Look around so we can fuck it up!

>>15762743
You look around. There's nothing in sight.

But the buzzing gets louder with every bite of the COBRA. The blood... it's... so... satisfying.

>...ell...dger...y....tur....mpion...

The FUCK is trying to talk to you!?

>>15762774
Eat moar COBRA!

>>15762774

>Let venom overcome me

>Collapse to the ground

>...

>3 hours later, get back up.

honey badger stuff.

>>15762779
You've run out of COBRA to eat as the pussy was small.

You move on to the HEAD. FANGS and all are devoured.

The blood is... shaping up to something...

>....furious one.... find...blood for me...

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>>15762802
Hey! Voice! Hey! Hey! Fuck you! I'm going home to my wife!

>Khornate Honey Badger
Welp time to turn to Chaos.

>>15762802
I don't take orders from NO ONE! Consume until nothing remains! Bones, cartilage, the works! That'll teach that crazy COBRA to haunt ME!

>>15762802
Khorne's a bitch. Time to fuck his shit up.

>>15762817
You yell to the DISEMBODIED VOICE to go FUCK ITSELF with a BEEHIVE.

>Ha...haha....ha...

The hunger.... is STRONG.

>>15762802

>>15762600
So we head out to find this bitch? If so, let's kill and maim more pussy-ass vipers and hedgehogs or whatever the fucking fuck we can find!

>>15762855

You get fucking ANGRY that this voice won't show himself so you can RIP A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM OF HIS FOOT AND EAT YOUR WAY UP TO IT'S FUCKING SKULL.

Time to VENT.

>EAST or WEST?!

>>Khornate Honey Badger

Welp, the emperium of man is fucked.

>>15762879
Fuck those pussy-ass directions. Go UP bitch!

>>15762879
EAST TO EAST, WEST IS FOR WEAKLINGS.

>>15762891
You decide fuck the ground, you want to get the FUCK UP to find that VOICE.

You let loose a WARCRY so furious that a nearby flock of bids PISS OFF upon finding that you cannot fly.

As you jump, you see a group of shapes in the distance... Shapes that PISS you the fuck OFF.

>>15762919
Fucking shapes! Who the hell do they think they are?!

Murder the shapes. Then, murder their ghosts.

>>15762879
Let's fuck them up! We need to kill more living beings and devour their corpses if we want to get to the bottom of this!

Maybe Doombreed was a honey badger all along.

>>15762954
>>15762950
>>15762952

FIRST the fucking VOICE pissed you off like nobodies damn business. THEN you couldn't go UP like that one fucker wanted.

AND NOW THOSE SHAPES ARE...SHAPES.

HOW DARE THOSE THINGS BE... THINGS THAT... ARE THINGS!!!!

YOUR LOGIC HAS LEFT YOU. YOU ARE IN [BLOODLUST] MODE. YOU SEE RED. YOU SEE SHAPES. YOU ARE SO PISSED THE VERY GROUND SHAKES.

YOU CHARGE TOWARDS THOSE DAMN THINGS WITH THE FURY OF A HUNDRED SCALDING SUNS.

AGHIORFIUDEJWIODIUSHWSNJKAJQ!!!

>>15762966

we all knew this

>>15762992

FUCK

rolled 3 = 3

>>15762966
DOOMBREED WHAT KIND OF A FAGGOT IS CALLED DOOMBREED, LET'S ROLL FOR A NAME!

I SAY THAT WE ARE MAIMCLAW THE BADGERSHITINSANE!

>>15762992
Turn those shapes into other, smaller shapes!

>Khornate Honey Badger

rolled 13 = 13

>>15763003

FUCK MAIMCLAW THE BADGERSHITINSANE!

NOT RAGEY ENOUGH I SUGGEST

ZORN IRA O' VREDESON

AND FUCK OUR PUSSY FATHER FOR GIVING US A FEMININE SOUNDING MIDDLE NAME

>>15762992
Foodfoodfoodfoodhoneybadgerhoneybadgerhoneybadger!

>>15762992
DESTROY THEM. FEAST ON THEIR CARCASSES.

Wait GAIS this make no sense.

Honey Badgers don't give a fuck, why would they be ANGRY?

he should be fucken chill as fuck.

>>15763002
>>15763003
>>15763007

IN YOUR FURY YOU FIND A SENSE OF CLARITY. YOUR TRUE NAME HAS COME TO YOU. YOU FEEL YOUR RAGE INCREASE WITH THIS ELDRITCH KNOWLEDGE THAT SURPASSES THE WORLD AROUND YOU.

YOU ARE MAIMCLAW THE BADGERSHITINSANE, BANE OF WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU HATE.

YOU CHARGE THESE SHAPES.

YOU SEE THAT IT IS A LIONESS AND HER TWO CUBS.

FUCKING CUNTS.

ROLL 1D20 FOR ATTAAAAAAAACK!

rolled 17 = 17

>>15763060

the 8th.

Woulda been a nice touch to it.

ZORN IRA O'VREDESON THE 8TH.

>>15763076
SEE >>15762802
>>15762774
!

>>15763060
>ZORN IRA O' VREDESON

THIS IS ALSO GOOD.

THIS IS NOW YOUR BATTLECRY.

YOU SCREAM IT AS THE LIONESS LOOKS UP AND SCREECHES LIKE A HOUSECAT-KITTEN-LITTLE BITCH

rolled 8 = 8

>>15763081

ROLLING TO FUCK HER UP

Maimclaw needs MORE MAIM AND MORE CLAW

RAGE at reality until you gain two more claws to fuck shit up twice as fast

rolled 7 = 7

>>15763081
Wait, wait... a lion, two cubs to protect... big mother lion... is this a good idea...?

>>15763097
ROLL? FUCK ROLLING! WE FUCK HER SHIT UP!

>>15763105
Something is happening.

>I see you've discovered yourself furious one.... I find you entertaining. Take a gift from me.

From the top of you sprouts TWO ETHERAL LIMBS WITH SCYTHE-LIKE CLAWS.

That cocky FUCK. Who the fuckshit does he think he is!?

>>15763103
THAT POST WITH THE EXTRA CLAWS WAS AWESOME ENOUGH THAT YOU FUCKING SUCCEED.

YOU CHARGE THE LIONESS AND LEAP AT HER NECK, RIPPING OUT HER WINDPIPE AND COVERING YOU IN GLORIOUS CARMINE SPLENDOR. YOU CACKLE IN THE SPRAY AS HER CUBS COWER IN A BUSH.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15763105
Rolling for WARP MUTATIONS

Find my warlock so he can remove my fury.

Or boost my damage and attack rolls.

>>15763107
more like a meal and two desserts. Let's just hope nothing comes by the pick up the scrapsth while we're hollowing out the lioness carcass

Honey Badger of Earth you have great rage in your heart.
You belong to the red lantern corp.

>>15763151
Feast upon her head, then take a nap to let it digest some.

>>15763166

No. Not the cubs. WE DON'T FUCK UP PUSSIES. WE FUCK UP EQUALS.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15763151

WE FUCKING RIP OFF THEIR HEADS AND SHIT DOWN THEIR THROATS

>>15763188

YOU SCOFF AT THE LITTLE DOUCHES WHO NEED JEWELRY TO KEEP THEIR ANGER UP.

>>15763151
TAKE THE CUBS. MAKE THEM YOUR BODYGUARDS. RIDE LIONS. FUCK SHIT UP.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15763188
Red Lantern Corp and Khorne battle for Honey Badger Soldier?
Hell.
Yeah.

This almost makes up for no Abaddon Quest tonight.

>>15763197

YOU USE YOUR ETHEREAL LIMBS TO CUT OFF HER HEAD AND USING YOUR POWERFUL JAWS YOU CRUNCH THROUGH BONE AND MUSCLE AND EAT HER DAMN HEAD.

HER CUBS SCAMPER OFF, BUT LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT, THOSE LITTLE BITCHES CAN GO STARVE, UNLESS THEY WANNA EAT THEIR MOM WITH YOU.

LOL

YOU NAP AFTERWARDS.

And dream...

A man in red spiky ARMOR is in front of you. Holding an AXE and sitting on a chair made of SKULLS.

What a BITCH, probably sticks his shaft in the skulls...

>>15763222
THE BADGERS WILL CONSUME THE UNIVERSE IN A RED TIDE OF RAGE UNDER OUR BANNER KHORNE

rolled 14 = 14

>>15763256
Eat the SKULLS, break the AXE

Show that BITCH that your RAGE has no MASTER but YOURSELF

rolled 20 = 20

>>15763256

HEY FAGGOT

HOW BOUT ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING FOR ONCE

GOD DAMN SCRUBS

FAILING AT THE CADIAN GATE

FAILING AFTER BLESSING AN IDIOT LEADER LIKE ABADDON

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU ARE YOUR HURR IM MAD BULLSHIT

YOU AINT WORTHY OF MY BADGERY ASS

GO FUCK YOURSELF

YOU AND YOUR THRONE OF SKULLS SHIT

>>15763289

>>15763277
You let loose a HOWL that shakes the very world around you.

Apparently in this DREAM you're anger is manifested as power.

Fucking NIFTY.

You SCREAM at the SKULLS until the beak down into a fine white dust. Then you SNORT that shit.

Then you POUNCE on this pussy's AXE and RIP IT IN HALF WITH YOUR ETHEREAL CLAWS.

You SNARL at this red bitch!

>>15763312
FIGHT THE BLOOD GOD

SHOW HIM HOW ANGRY BADGERS BE

>>15763312
Turn your back on the bipedal coward, hiding its body in metal boxes. Finish your goddamn nap without mental incursions! Mainclaw likes to chill now and then!

>>15763312
Rage your way back from this immaterial land of dreams. Your rage requires more substantial things to crush beneath its might

>>15763377
You laugh at the pussy hiding himself behind M3T4L BAWXEZ and proceed to trot off leaving the bipedal motherfucker annoyed at his broken axe and cocainified throne.

Pussy.

>>15763393
You proceed to WAKE UP and see HYENAS on your kill.

Fucking TRANNIES!

rolled 1 = 1

>>15763399
Let them call back-up
It's going to rain blood today

>>15763418
YOU ROAR at the doggy punkasses.

"YOU BETTER GET MORE OF YOU FUCKS HERE IF YOU WANNA EAT. YOU LAUGHING CUNTFUCKS!"

>>15763428
Fucking awesome. I am in love with you for this.

BUT THE BADGER ISN'T GOD DAMNIT.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15763446
Let's try out the ethereal claws

Chop off some Hyena heads with the top claws, jump, and smash them into the ground with real claws

rolled 16 = 16

>>15763463
I call bull, I can't roll 1's 2x in a row

Honey badger slay The butcher of the red lanterns and Khorne so you can become the only force of rage in this universe.

>>15763463
YOU DO EXACTLY THAT!

As the HYENAS try and piss off, your rage propels you at an unnatural speed towards the scaredyfucks.

YOU CUT OFF THEIR HEADS AND SLAM DUNK THOSE BASTARDS TO THE GROUND.

More BLOOD for you!

rolled 45 = 45

>>15763478
Devour their hearts.

>>15763493
You RIP open their chests and DEVOUR their HEARTS.

But something is off in the distance being a FAGGOT.

These things are tall...

>>15763505
MAKE THEM SHORTER!

>>15763514
SHORT LIKE A POOL OF BLOOD AND GORE ARE SHORT

BLOOD FOR THE BADGER GOD

rolled 77 = 77

>>15763505
CUT THEM DOWN TO SIZE. THEY SHALL PAY FOR THEIR ARROGANCE.

>>15763505
TAKE THEIR LEGS.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15763514
I like the way this man thinks

>>15763514
>>15763523
>>15763526

YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT THESE FUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY FOR BEING TALL.

YOU CHARGE THESE BIG THINGS IN THE DISTANCE!

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT IT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WHOLE FUCKING SAVANNAH

HUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAANS!!!!

rolled 59 = 59

>>15763536
FLAY THE FUCKING FLESH OFF THEIR FACES AND MAKE HATS FROM THEIR BONES AND A ROOF FOR YOUR HOME OUT OF THEIR FLAYED HIDES.

rolled 77 = 77

>>15763536
Everything is maimclaws least favorite thing in the Savannah.

Make them rue the day that that chance happened to awaken the god of rage and hate in its true form.

BADGER THEM IN THE BADGER WITH YOUR BADGER TILL THEY DIE

TWICE

>>15763536
Nah! Fuck them! They're not even gonna get to see our fucking power! Go eat fucking grass and wait for them to leave! They'll crap their pants so bad if they saw us LIKE THEY FUCKING SHOULD!

>>15763532
We should down a giraffe
Just on principle

>>15763548
THATS A LOT TO TYPE OUT IN DETAILS AND IM DRINKING AND LAZ-SHUT THE FUCK UP QUEST THREADER AND GROW SOME BALLS SO I CAN KICK THEM UP TO YOUR THROAT

okay...

YOU CHARGE THE NEAREST ONE AND CUT ITS LEGS OFF MAKING HIM FALL TH THE GROUND SCREAMING, YOU RIP HIS FACE OFF AND RIP HIS THROAT OUT AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE

MAIM

KILL

RIP

TEAR

FURY OF YOUR BADGER BLOOD RUNS THROUGH YOUR MIND AS YOU RIP OUT THE DELICIOUS HUMAN BLOOD.

THEY THROW SPEARS BUT MISS, FUCKING FAGGOTS

rolled 32 = 32

>>15763578
THROW THE FUCKING SPEARS RIGHT THE FUCK BACK AT THEM.

>>15763590
Pin them to the ground with their own spears. Tear one apart, slowly, while looking at the humans in the distance, never averting your gaze from them

>>15763562
maimclaw, badger avatar of rage, and plain chillin

>>15763590
You grab a SPEAR and learn to use basic TOOLS through your RAGE.

Fucking NIFTY.

You SPEAR one up the ASS and out his MOUTH.

LOL ITS A FUCKING MANSICLE

YOUR FOES LAY DEAD AT YOUR FEET.

THEIR BLOOD MIXES WITH THE DUST, MAKING RED MUD.

YOU ROLL IN IT.

>>15763613
Find a shady tree to chill under and bask in the glory of my badgerdom

>>15763613
Now we're fucking dirt! Rage at the dirt for getting on us! Doesn't it know who we are!?

>>15763634
You SNARL at the dirt for being a faggot. Teach that bitch a lesson...

>>15763628
You find a TREE thats less of a FAG than the others and curl up in a MANLY way.

NAPTIME so you can KILL in the most EFFICIENT MANNER POSSIBLE.

****BADGERQUEST PART ONE IS ENDED FOR I HAVE SHIT TO DO. I WAS GONNA HAVE THIS AS A ONE SHOT BUT IT'S REALLY FUN AND THOSE DRAWFAGGINGS ARE INSPIRATIONAL. THERE WON'T BE A SET TIME BECAUSE I DONT WANT THIS TO BE A BIG 47 PART QUEST, JUST A FEW FUN ONES UNTIL WHENEVER IT'S DONE. MUCH LOVE TEEJ*****

>>15763676
HONEY BADGER'S MAD AT YOU, OP

Somebody archive this shit, right god damn now.

>>15763676
YOU ARE WEAK. THE HONEY BADGER DOESN'T NEED YOUR SHIT OP. I hope to God that you'll wake up and he's tearing your weak man flesh apart. Faggot.

>>15763688
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15762600/

Am I wrong to read most of this thread in Randall's voice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg