god of puss

>>15844966
Do you mean pus or pussy? Or both?

>>15844936
I am Thaul, God of the Path. I am often known as the Walking Man. The world is a vast place, full of many wonders, and I embody the spirit of travel because it is the world's many great vistas, landmarks, cities and cultures that are the greatest pleasure in life. It is to go to new places, experience new things, and to gain wisdom and peace through travel, and my faithful practice these as a way to find a way in life.

I appear as an elderly man, but a healthy and strong one. My walking stick is forever with me, and though my clothing, hairstyle and appearance may shift and change with the sands of time, I am always a smiling figure who seeks naught but the next horizon. My symbol is the walking stick in my hand; a simple wooden device, no more valuable or rare than a strong stick in the woods, but a grand treasure to a man who walks the path all the same.

I am Modo
god of opposites and contradictions, sanity and madness, happiness and sorrow, love and hatred and sometimes both at the same time!
Im the god of much, but lord of none.
My domain is wherever the wind blows, wherever the ground stands and everywhere life burns (both metaphorically speaking and literally).
My symbol is the spiral.
I have no temples. small shrines, yes... no great flocks of devotees, no... But everyone prays to me when all else fails, for i am the intial spark and the last hope

>>15844970
No, god of puss. Of cats.

I am the Dreamer. master of the mysterious world of dreams, where we meet every night when you sleep, and every day when your heart falls in reverie.
I grant insight into yourself and your life, I teach meditation and peace of mind.
My symbol is the closed and open eye.
My worshipers range from ascetic monks living in remote monestaries, storytellers living in bustling cities, great philosophers and thinkers and small children who see everything with the eyes of a dreamer.

I take the shape of a many armed green humanoid with a incredibly tall cap riddled with eyes, and while my fixed, toothy grin might come of as eerie it is nothing hostile about it, I assure you.
I do not always agree with the nightmare god, but we are not enemies.

>>15844936
based on the masks

going from left to right, starting at the top row

1.) the demon god of gettin' shit done
2.) god of thread saging
3.) god of trolling
4.) god of derp
5.) god of dice roll anticipation
6.) god of old /tg/
7.) god of new /tg/ and weeaboos
8.) god of reading thatguy stories

God Name: Contumacious
Symbol: Shield
Power over: The underdog, the side that stands firm against all odds.

Appearing as a normal man the night before or during an attack as a man of average height but stocky, well muscled build, his head wrapped in bandages. All reports say that wherever he fights men are rallied to his cause, a thousand fighting like ten times their number.

However, he falls in battle every time he appears, and such is his fate that he is never found and never honored for what he does. His body is always cast alongside the nameless, destroyed dead and burned like the rest.

He is a very straight-forward God, and susceptible to the plans and traps of the more sly Gods, but his nature is to rise again always with no grudges, so they become somewhat bored of him.

I am Itrus, God of Neglect, Renewal and Forgotten Places.

I watch over the lost places, the empty buildings, abandoned yards, crumbling ruins. I do not seek these things destruction, instead I help bring about renewal and life. Nothing pleases me more than seeing new growth and use in places where life once thrived. My symbol is the nettle bursting through brick. I occasionally appear to those who stumble into my domain, to offer advice, comfort or direction, for those who come to my gardens are often lost, in more ways than one. I most commonly appear as a stray cat, dog or magpie, but may take human form, most often as a tramp.

>>15845027
ok...you win a little

I am namrednels. god of monsters and all horrors.
The less you know the better.
symbol: a crosses out O

I am Riconve, Goddess of Myth and Legend. Protector of all that is secret in the world and beholder of all that which lays deep and dormant in the dark depths of the worlds mountains. My symbol is the veil.

Those who worship me are adventurers, explorers, scholars and mystics that I might grant them insight into one such secret or might make a legend and myth of them.

My priesthood, small and diverse, seek to be the first to uncover such dark, dangerous, mind-bending secrets to ascend to the notice and favour of their goddess.

My priesthood is a myth. My religion is a legend.

Im Lug
god of digging holes
the moles are my creation and they worship me
the main tenets of my faith is: dig holes

they are very devout

I have no priests nor symbols. I often take the shape of a hole and people tend to shout my name when they trip

Denswift
God of missing.

I cause you to miss attacks.

People pray to me when someone is swinging or aiming a weapon at them.

>>15845117
these prayers tend to sound like this:
fuckfuckfuckfuck
or:
shitshitshitfuckshitshitshit
or: ohpleasno!

>Who are you?
I am Rielly, Patron of Seriousness, God of "Honesty", Lord of "Truth".

>What are you the god over?
Conviction and the Oratory Arts.

>What is your symbol?
A mouth.

>Who worships you?
Lawyers, Orators, Politicians and Door to Door Salesmen.

I am Keera, goddess of the shield.

I strengthen the walls that keep your people safe. I hold your shield-arm in the last hour of combat, lest it falters. I deflect the arrow that would have pierced the heart. I surround and protect those that need.

My symbol is a polished shield.

My priesthood are mostly warriors, but also builders, smiths and armorers. Small sacrifices to me are made before combat.

I appear as a fully-armored woman, always fully armed and armored.

Name: Raper Wetnight
Portfolio: Cuckolding, rape, PWNZ, bitches
Symbol: The F.A.T.A.L. Handbook
Worshipers: Summerfags, tripfags, newfags.

>>15845107
Lug is known to many cultures as many different names.

In our land, we call him "FFUU-" or "Close", as in "Shit, that was Close".

>>15845207
Indeed.
and the saying "Im gonna go give offerings to Lug" mean that you are off to poop

>>15845231
A common prayer is "Oh great Lug, please accept my humble offering", especially for those afflicted with diarrhoea or those who, while tramping, desire not to get faecal matter on their clothing/shoes.

>>15845261
Giving offerings to Lug and then noticing that there is no paper is the work of his evil brother Wry.
one of the most heinous deities in existance, not because he murders entire planets or wage war on the other gods, but because he cause all the little things that make your day just that more miserable

>>15845148
So it's really a god of lies?

>>15845277
This is true.

While Lug nurtures seeds with the perfect depth while sowing, or the foundation of a building with stability, Wry will cause rain to wash the seeds out of the holes and slip foundations out of alignment.

>>15845305
the common nut is often atrributed to Lug as one of his creations. hence the name "Lugnut"

Wry in his jealousy created the erectile dysfunction.
which didnt win him any popularity...

>>15845305
In this world, there are two types of people. Followers of Lug, whose bodies will be buried once they pass into the afterlife, and followers of Wry, whose bodies will be cremated once they pass into the afterlife.

If the funeral pyres of Wry are not atoned with the proper ritual, it is said that they will cause bushfires.

Sometimes they cause bushfires anyway, just because Wry is a bit of a dick.

>>15845336
as it is written in the most ancient caves, in the oldest language known to man
"There was earth. And Lug dug a hole. The space he created houses everything. Lug then had a beer."

"BUT LOOOOO!!!! For his brother Wry was jelous at the excellent hole! for he could not make one himself. He had no shovel. So wry pissed in the hole. Thus evil seeped into the universe. Wry then had a beer, and Lug said unto the universe: he's sort of a dick..."

>>15845281
Not really, more like objectivism or something. He'd make it true or believable to the people involved when His name is intoned.

"You're saying you'll lower taxes AND provide better social services?"
"Rielly, I will"

"Rielly, you need this vacuum cleaner".

I am the Old Shadow, God of Death.
I am portrayed merely as a dark spectre, a looming shadow upon all creation. My figure if ever humanoid is vague and featureless.
My symbol is a dark circle or orb.
My worshippers are varied. Some men plead with me for more time until I take them. Others beseech me to bring upon my gift to their enemies. I am begged to be merciful.

One particular calling that I give my blessing to is the vanquishing those who hope to escape my grasp indefinitely, the undead and the supposedly immortal. I find their pride and arrogance sickening, as I claim all in the end.

>>15844936
>Who are you?
I am Lucienne, the Decadent One.
>What are you the god(dess) over?
I am god of liquor, wine, narcotics, aesthetic beauty, and hedonism. I'm basically a bro-tier Slaanesh, with more emphasis on fun and much less involuntary sodomy.
>What is your symbol?
My symbol is a bottle of wine with a flower growing out of the top.
>Who worships you?
Almost everyone, to a certain degree, though my worshippers are particularly prevalent on college campuses, at casino resorts, and wherever Charlie Sheen can be found.

>>15845375
Lug was walking down the road one day and He came to pass a river. "Hark, here is to be a shire to Me. For surely, this is a place for a hole". So Lug dug into the earth with His Sacred Shovel and piled the earth into a mound. Then Lug did see it was good and He said: "It is good. I will have a beer".

And the people saw it was good and gathered around Him saying: "Let us be your disciples". Lug was pretty chill and offered His beer to His disciples, but there were none container to house the beer. Lug shaped the earth from the pile that He had dug into cups. "From this hole that could contain many things, you shall make portable holes to hold many things. I shall call this Clay". And the disciples did rejoice and drink beer from the first clay cups.

>>15845491
and there was much merriment. but his brother Wry saw the merriment and cheer and grew spiteful.
When morning came and the men and women went to sleep after drinking the beer and making sweet love Wry went to them and placed in them the curse of the hangover. Lug saw this and was slightly vexed, for lo, he is a chill god, and Lug took the hangover and secretly placed in in Wry too, so hed suffered as the race of man did.
Lug took it upon himself to Lessen the curse of the hangover on man, and took half of the hangover into himself. To this day all creatures that drink too much of the beer will know the curse of the hangover, but none as hard as Wry. evil begets evil, and evil always comes back to bite you. so sayeth the holy text inscribed on the ancient clay mug of Lug

Lug confirmed for /tg's new god?

I am Ferador the Seller, god of fame, wealth, and power.

I grant the desires of whatever mortal comes my way, of course they'll have to bargain for it. I tend to pawn off the soul to the overseer of the Netherrealm and in exchange it allows me to grant those who agree to the life of a conqueror, a wealthy oligarch or a renowned hero.

My symbol is a scale that depicts a large sum of money being heavily outweighed by the ghostly image of the former owner.

Those chosen to make the bargain with me tend to always pay tribute. Some of the greatest kings and merchants have all fell into my grasp.

I am no trickster, I bring fortune to those who wish to pay the price.

>>15844936
I am Cesar Turbochili

God of all who deliver mexican/latino food.

A sombrero over a motorcycle helmet is my symbol.

The food deliverers worship me via panicking on last minute deliveries

>>15845549
Lug and Man.

In the beginning, Lug was walking about, as He is accustom to. And He did dig a hole with His Sacred Shovel, as He is accustom to.

The mound of dirt did not displease Him, but He saw it and thought: "Hey, I could do something with this". So Lug did shape the dirt into a creature and poured His beer over the creature giving it life. "I shall drink beer with this creature."

But the creature could not drink beer. Lug said: "I will make a hole in this creature, so that he may drink beer". So Lug did give the creature His most sacred gift, a hole that we now call a mouth. And the creature was called Man and we now can drink beer with Him.

the race of man agreed that Lug was awesome and a great bro, but he was very powerful, able to dig holes like no other creature in existance and the race of man was slightly scared of his power.
One day Lug walked into a camp and found a child with a soft clay tablet. Upon it was his likeness and Lug spoketh so "Lo, for my nose is not that grand, surely?" and the race of men gnashed their teeth in terror, for surely Lug would destroy them for making his nose too grand and in their terror the race of man hid in a ditch.
But behold the mercy of Lug, for he is a chill god, and he spoketh to the race of man, telling them to get out of the ditch, but man did not heed him. So Lug created the Nut out of bark and his breath and offered it to the race of man, to show he meant no harm. The nut was indeed delicious and the race of man crawled out of the ditch and Lug spoketh so "I care not if you picture me and how you picture me. For I am secure about my attractiveness, and nobody gets the nose right anyways."

>>15845656
The race of man lived and drank beer and ate the nuts. But they saw themselves as imperfect for they could not make holes in the ground. Lug saw their sadness and took his shovel in his hand and dug a hole. Lo, for with the earth from the hole, a handfull of spit, hair and a breath of life Lug made the mole. The mole multiplied and dug holes. Lug and man looked upon the mole and decided that while cute, they did not really serve any purpose. Man and Lug had a beer and the moles dug holes

>>15845656
Wry saw man and was jealous. He disguised himself as Lug and said man "Come. For I am Lug." And Wry made holes and mounds on half of all mankind. And we call them Woman.

Thus: Wry did divide Mankind and Womankind. And thus he made it pretty difficult sometimes for womankind and mankind to interact because he is such a dick.

Lug is also well known as the God of Duty.

>>15845825
Man and woman argued and bickered, and Lug saw this and was filled with despair.
Lug drank heavily and in his stupor a solution revealed itself to him.
So he got man and woman drunk. and they made love and beget children.
And Lug said that this was good and that there was a moral here, but the curse of hangover was upon him, so Lug had to lie down

some say woman is beneath man, as Lug made man first
others say man is beneath woman as she has more holes
Lug says that the sky is above both.
Lug is not great with metaphores

>>15845871
Some say that Wry's holes were imperfect and that Woman is tainted.
Some say that it was really Lug that gave Woman His gift.
Lug doesn't know because he was totally trashed that night but he's pretty sorry about the whole situation.

The creation of tools, theft of fire and dissappearance of teepee

The race of man saw that Lug's shovel was great for digging holes and they made their own shovels out of wood.
Lug spoketh that it was pretty good for a first attempt. They then had a beer or two.

While Lug and the race of man drank Wry took the shovels and burned them with his fiery bowel-gases. The race of man Came back to camp and cried bitter tears for their shovels was burning. So they drank away their sorrow, and in their stupor they had a great idea, and the race of man did so take fire for their own. And thus did Wry let the race of man take fire from him, and he vowed to steal their most sacred paper for the rest of time.(see above)

someone archive this shit, yo
in the name of Lug

I am Moloch
Lord of the hunt, master of the kill, eater of life
Murder and fighting is my domains
My symbol is a dark winged shape with red eyes
I am worshipped everywhere people kill, I am at the lips of noble men, i am in the heart of wicked degenerates, I am always there when there is death to be dealt

Bumb in the name of Lug

and Lug saw the bumpage, and he wanted to respond. Alas, Lug had work to do

I am Omega Ridley... The obscure god of polymorphic races. Those under my dominion include Shifters, Doppelgangers, Succubi, and Lamias. I'm rarely worshipped as humans and devils subjugate the races under my dominion. I appear as a Shifter or Doppelganger in remote areas, protecting the wizards or shape-shifting races. Wizards and Shamans often hold me of high regard.

early in Lug`s development of man, he was drinking beer with one of them, who was a good friend named wort. wort was thirsty after a day of inventing new kinds of beer to drink, and after drinking a few with Lug, he said "Great Lug, digger of holes and bringer of beer, i hunger for something to snack on while drinking beer. something that will not make me feel like i have fill a few holes with my squattings." Lug took a few sips and pondered for a bit. lug said unto Wort " wort i have a gift to bestow upon mankind the likes of which he has yet to see! for i will give unto you bread!!! " and with the leftovers from the brewing process Lug showed Wort how to makebread. but alas that motherfucker of a brother named Wry shows up and decides to shit in everyones cornflakes. he sees the bread proofing up during the riseing process and says unto Lug "hey whatcha doin Lug? anything fun?" Lug saith unto him "dude dont fuck with my people they are small, fun, and like to dig holes. find someone to make miserable" wry respondeth with "fine i will, and they will be way more fun than your people". and as he left he made the dough fall and the bread lost its puffyness. and Wort was sad. Lug siad unto Wort "be stout of heart for i will make it better USING HOLES!!!!" and Lug twisted wrys evil doings into a shape that had 3 holes out of one line, there by creating a miracle. and the peole were glad, and filled with much rejoicing from the BRO-ness of Lug.

>>15846638
This is a corner stone of Lugdom, for it was wrote by a priest well versed in drunkingness and hole digging.

I am sure Lug is pleased at this gospel.

AND LUG SAID: "Be like children. For they do not know why a hole must be dug. Kids just dig holes 'cause it's fun."

>>15846892
also Lug was heard to hath said,"blessed are the doggies, for they like to dig holes and keep thier masters company. a cat is fine too."

Lug and the First Warrior.

There once was a great digger with arms almost that of Lug and a height of perfection for holes.
Lug said to him: "My child, you are blessed in my eyes. Please tell me what you wish and we'll talk about it over a few beers and I'll see what I can do".
"I wish for nothing more than to dig some holes and drink some beer".
This pleased Lug but really He would have been pretty chill with any response.

Wry had seen the great digger and was angry that of such devotion. "I will trick this digger" spoke Wry. So Wry went to the digger and told him: "Lug no longer wants you to dig, He wants you to fly. Climb this mountain and jump over, Lug will save you".

So the Digger climbed the mountain and jumped off, falling toward the ground. Lug saw the trickery and so quick did He dig that a hole was formed through the entire earth. The Digger fell into the hole and through to the centre of the earth where he floated safely.

"Forgive Oh Lug, for I tried to fly when I should have dug! Please Lug, I beseech you, take my shovel, for I no longer deserve to dig."
"Nah, all good. That Wry is a total cunt sometimes."
But the Digger would not back down.

"You are stubborn, my short friend. You shall keep your shovel but no longer is it a shovel, you shall call it an axe but I am a kind god, you and your kin will stay underground here and use axes in defence and digging against Wry."

And it was pretty cool.

archive?

>>15846638
I can't write like you, a Cleric of Lug. My writing is too biblical.

Write the story about how Lug dug The Great Hole and Wry pissed in it making the sea and filled it with horrible sea creatures.

>>15847318
Let's get a few more parables and myths about Lug first.

Honestly, this god is pretty cool.

Oh lo' for one day did Lug walk upon our earth, and he did decide to dig a great hole into a mountain, and so he did make the mountain hollow. Lug did look upon his work and pronounce it pretty neat.

But Wry saw his brother's work and lo' did he grow to despise it. Thus, after a beer that night, he did take it upon himself to cook his special chilli. Wry is such a God that he makes the type of chilli that, even if he does warn you if it is hot, he does not tell you how hot and it turns out to actually be so hot as to be inedible because he is a dick.

So it came to be that Wry took off into the night and filled his brother's mountain hole with the chilli. Thus the first volcano was born, and it was full of hot death.

Thus did Man come onto Lug and speak unto him; "Oh Lug, these volcanoes kind of suck, they burn and shit and it hurts"

Lug looked upon his brother's mischief and agreed he was, in fact, a dick. And so to make peace for his brother's dickishness did Lug dig many holes around the volcano, connected to the special chilli. He did fill them with water and thus were hot springs born.

And so did Lug turn unto man and pronounced unto him "Lo' have I built you some hot springs, go 'forth and have bitching jacuzzi parties in them"

And as Lug looked upon how chill Man was, and he did nod and think it was good. He then went to have another beer.

I am Hale, god of peace and ennui. I represent stasis, and am found wherever the world remains in balance. Despite my nature, I am not intolerant of all change. Indeed, some change can be slow, steady, and predictable, such as the steadily flowing waves of the ocean, or the push and pull of life. However, I oppose the active hands of other gods or men, bringing great disasters or miracles where the need not be. Bringing civilization or destruction suddenly and without consideration. Planning, scheming, and worrying rather than simply allowing things to run their course unabated.

I have no earthly form, but my symbol is simple. The line representing the balance of opposing forces. >|<

Where Modo is prayed to in times of strife and turmoil, I am prayed to in times of peace in order to maintain the balance. After all, people know that I am the least likely to take action in times of great danger.

I am Rote, god of Barriers-That-Should-Not-Be-Broken, master of that which does not exist and steward of the Far Lands.
My symbol is a fractal H, which is often found decorated upon the doors of forbidden tombs and sealed vaults, and is used as a focus by users of magic and psionics as an ineffable beacon or an undying foci for powerful wards or forbidden techniques.
My realm is that of oblivion and the places in-between.
My duty is to be the barrier between that which is, and that which is not. It is within my power to create and destroy things that do not exist at that time, but I have no direct power over any of existence.
My words and deeds must be sparse and concise, for every move I make within the universe weakens the barrier there, opening a gap through which Ur-Things may enter, unbound and unrestricted by the laws which govern existence, letting them be free to proliferate and undo the universe in an alien storm of chaos. Should any escape my control it is within my duty and power to destroy them by any means and allies necessary.
I am patron of the truly wise and dangerously intelligent, who pray to me that I might protect them in their searching for truth should they try to go too far.
I am the patron of the insane and the mad, who pray to me that I might open the way beyond to them and allow them the final escape.
I am not a part of any pantheon. To kill me would breach an irreparable hole in reality. To serve me is to subject your mind to the weight of eternity and sacrifice your spirit to the maintenance of the world. To hate me begets ignorance, to worship me begets terror.

In the days when the Earth was young, the Sun stood still and it was always day. Lug was teaching Man to dug holes and after a long day He would drink cool beer with His followers, happy in the hot sun.

Wry was jealous of this friendship and slid up to the Sun and spoke to her. "See the Earth? Lug and Man are digging holes to escape from your rays. You should hide yourself."

The Sun was sad at this because she thought that Lug and Man were pretty cool dudes. So the Sun hid.

Lug saw that it was dark and wasn't too pissed off with Wry, but felt bad for the Sun who was hiding.

Lug comforted Man, saying "This is Night. Night is good for drinking beer as is the day". And Man partied throughout the night while Lug returned to the heavens and created wormholes in the space as a gift for the Sun and then he hid with the Sun. Suddenly, the sky was filled with stars.

The Sun was glad for Lug's gift and returned to the sky and saw that Man had partied throughout the night. "I will shine for half the day and I will hide for half the day with Lug" spoke the Sun. And such was the way that Day and Night and the stars and other astronomical occurrences were made.

>>15848645
>Suddenly, the sky was filled with stars.
Looks like Lug-bro was getting it on, no?

>and I will hide for half the day with Lug
Ayup.
I guess that means the equivalent of getting the couch would be Lug-bro on earth at night, yeah?

>>15848672
From memory, the Egyptians explained the stars as a product of a god's masturbation.

>>15848672
And:
>I guess that means the equivalent of getting the couch would be Lug-bro on earth at night, yeah?

Hello Plot Hook.

So, apart from Lug, which ones of these does /tg/ like?

>>15848855
The Moon used to be directly opposite the Sun and they never saw each other. Wry, being a dick, told the Sun that there was a beautiful globe on the other side of the world and that she should look at the Moon. Wry pushed the Sun across the sky until the orbits were sort of messed up. When the Sun saw the Moon, she noticed that the moon was covered in craters. That night, and every night that the Moon is up in the same sky as the Sun, Lug spends the night on Earth.

>>15849094
Huh?

>>15849002
I'm guessing /tg/ does not have any strong feelings toward your one nor mine.

>>15849130
The craters are... like... holes... so either Lug is a bit of a player or the moon was his ex. ?

>>15849241

Which one is yours?

>>15849265

Rielly, >>15845148, is mine.

Then the Lug Poster and I tossed back and forth a few posts and then a few others kept it up (I think). Because a God of HOLES is actually a pretty awesome idea. Reckon the pantheon is pretty sparse with only Lug and Wry though, I'd like to see more interactions but a lot of these gods in this thread don't fit with Lug and he's my favourite.

I wanna be the dickhead god, like Coyote.

>>15849348
We call you Wry. Read the thread and write up some stuff about yourself and any other gods that work with you.

>>15848080
Question: is this god too 'mary-suish' as gods go?
I was trying for 'fundamental god' combined with 'ineffable but non-alien'.

>>15849413
I dunno. He just seems boring. I like light comedy.

But now that you point it out. Yes. Ridiciously Mary-Sue-ish. Although I am not a big fan of using that term (because I am fairly ignorant on the correct usage), it seems pretty apt (or possibly perfectly apt) in this circumstance.

>>15849518
Wait. I recant that.

Gods are meant to be powerful so it works really well, but the god doesn't seem to be much fun unless you're playing a very serious game.

>>15849607
He's supposed to be just an out-there sort of god. My answer to replace the silly Inevitables plus a few extra jobs and powers.
I was concerned because if you read how I worded it, it meant he could create ANYTHING (inlcuding a CORE Commander), provided it wasn't already in reality at that moment.
I tried to balance it out by making him a living gate of sorts, so when he opens up a little to let some neat thing into the world that normally wouldn't be, there's a chance of a Shoggoth sneaking through or worse, hitching a ride on it, making the power world-breaking, but also risky and potentially suicidal if it gets out of hand.

Then again, aren't fundamental gods all like that?
"I'm the god of FIRE, and I'm so pissed I think I'll burn EVERYTHING! Hey, why.. cant I... bre-*"

I am Chuck, God of Inexplicably Sour Pastries and Baked Goods.
My Domain is every bakery and pastry shop.
my Symbol is a donut. I am not worshiped, but paid off by Bakers and pastry chefs.

>>15849733
H-how have I failed you?!

I am the god Ω. I am the black hole at the base of the universe, the void left after the Tzimtzum. I Deny the Ein Sof and thus was all born and I Deny the Ein Sof and thus is all dead. I am zoid in the center of zero. I will murder the Ohr and drag the Yesh into the gaping maw of Ayin. I am the hole in all things. I Am What You Will Be.

>>15849816
> I am zoid in the center of zero.
Oh lord is my typo hilarious.

I am Nogeth god of gubbinz and broken pieces put to use.
Humans asking for miracles can be expected to be rendered down and used to fuel farther miracles after their works have been realized.

>>15849810
Are you fat?
No?
Well. Get to it.

>>15849844
I would ask you a boon, for it is difficult to become fat when most pasties are sour and flawed!

>>15845487

Wouldn't Charlie Sheen be like...your champion?

>>15849865
Yeah? Ok. Hey, I'm not really doing anything in particular at the moment, can I join your order or something? I don't really mind if it's full or if you're not taking applicants at the moment, you know, just whatever.

I am Insuline, god of diabetics.
My symbol is a glucemic meter and my followers are all diabetics who don't want to die.

KNEEL BEFORE ME!

>>15849733
We meet again Chuck

I am Er, the god of...er, I have forgotten...
I reign over...er...what is that word...*sigh* I really dunno.
Symbol? What is that? Somekind of drink, right?
Worshippers? I have totally forgotten about them...

>>15850569
fuggedaboutit

I AM XRAM LRAK.
I AM THE GOD OF EQUALITY, ENDURANCE AND PRODUCTIVITY.
MY SYMBOL IS A HAMMER AND SICKLE.
THE WORKING CLASS WORSHIP ME FOR I WILL BRING THEM PERFECT UTOPIA.

Wait a sec... Lug could be the god of Dwarves, since they're experts at digging, and they love their booze. But of course, whatever Lug made, Wry dicks with it, so he made Dwarves strangely attracted to his chili called Magma. But Lug saw this, and taught the first Dwarf to use Magma to melt metal and make awesome stuff out of metal, and then he took a swig of beer. But then, Wry goes and dicks about again, this time bringing reinforcement in the form of the god Armok, a fearsome god of blood and greed. He told the Dwarves that Armok would be their god, and so Dwarves worship Armok. But Armok, instead of driving the Dwarves to war and debauchery, became fascinated of the Dwarves' metal smithing and craftmaking, and after talking to Lug about the nature of Dwarves, decided to be a bro to Lug and only demanded the Dwarves to bring him the best bling they can make. And thus the Dwarves as we know it today are born, fond of digging and booze, yet also greedy and grouchy.

I am Umbagngo.

I am the able hunter in the jungle where only my tribes can survive. I am the warrior who wears no iron. I am the vision of the death tree sap. My magic is always black, and mercy I have not, for such is the jungle.

>No one mentioned Pelor, God of Hate yet
I am disappoint.

>>15850818
Thats cus Lug is getting it on with the sun every night.
while Lug is pretty chill with homosexuality (what with him making man first and the text says that the race of man got drunk and loved itself) I dont think he swings that way

>>15850915
A hole is a hole, so sayeth Lug.

>>15850958
if it is a good hole, it is worth digging
-Lug-

Holes are stupid.
-Wry-

I am Joe, God of the Guitar
Some confuse me the God of music, Ballad, but we're different. Where he is the God of rhythm and all that I'm just God of Guitar.
My followers are Bards, Guitarist, Bassist and really anyone that plays strings like that.
Anywhere there is a guitar being played, so am I, the concert where the lead is shreding a solo, a party where someone is playing a melancholy tune, in a park helping a teenager get laid by playing an acoustic.
My symbol is a hand making devil horns

been archived yet?

Joe and the Guitar

One day, Ballad was fine tune a new string instrument he had created he had call a Tar. then he heard a horrible noise outside, so he put it to go check it out.
While he was out of the room a young boy walked in. The boys name was Joe he say the Tar and was curious so he picked it up and started strumming on it. Because Joe was so young he didn't know that you needed a bow to play the Tar so he just strummed and played some music.
At this point Ballad had come back from seeing what the noise was and he was Joe playing the tar all wrong he yelled "What are you doing with my tar?! You're playing all wrong!" so he freaked out and threw Joe outside.
Joe, confused why Ballad freaked out decided that he was going to get a tar for himself.
But where would he get a tar? He couldn't take Ballad's and no one else had one. He wondered over this for awhile, saying to himself. "Get a tar, get a tar, get a tar."
With no idea where to get on he get one he decided to make one. Because he wasn't really paying attention to the tar when he had it, Joe's was different and had less crap on it so the strings could be played easier and he thought it sounded better too.
So Joe had his tar and he set about playing it every day until he was really good, and could play all kinds of music. And when someone asked what he was playing Joe said "It's my get a tar." He said get a tar because he told himself that everyday so that he would eventually get one.

>>15851125
Yes.

>>15851020
>Holes are stupid.
>-Wry-

Shut your hole, Wry.
-Lug-

If you're the god of holes, why don't you shut it? Huh? Why aren't you shutting it?
-Wry-

[Long suffering look] Screw this. I'm going to play some golf.
-Lug-

>>15847330
write faggotry incoming

And LO! in those days man had all of the earth to walk upon,yet not many places to impress the ladies and possibly go skiing and snowboarding. with lots of beer. Great Lug in his wisdom and compassion realized man needed a place to chill and brought several of his disciples with him. his disciple's having no concept of the winter Olympics, asked him saying “Oh great Lord Lug, dig forever, what are we doing here? while i enjoy the cold making my brew frosty, my feet are freezing.” LUG The Mighty looked upon his disciple`s and had great mercy and compassion upon them, and invented totally sweet skiing jackets like the ones from better off dead and other awesome 80`s movies. And Lug The Digger of Totally Deep and Awesome Holes put forth a truly great effort and dug a hole the likes of which will not be seen again. or until they manage to bury roseanne barr.

>>15852250
and in those days wry was being a truly dickish fuckhead that just had to ruin every-ones fun, and couldn't just be chill and relax, being an uptight asshole. and he saw lug digging like he never had before and said unto him ”ummm hey Lug watcha doin? digging a hole huh? hmmm looks like fun. whatcha doin that for? to make your little followers happy hmmm? he said that to be a dick to Great LUG, He who makes barbecue pits possible, since wry is a fucking Andy Dick on family guy level asshole. Great Lug in his benevolence counted to 10, drank half a truly great beer brewed by his BRO FOR LIFE Wort, and managed to avoid slapping Wry`s shit, said unto him. since you are a dick and are congenitally unable to have fun or find true joy, i will let you walk away before i slap your shit so hard the all father BRIAN BLESSED, sends his hawkmen down here to chastise us for interrupting his wenching and feasting. and wry being a chickenshit dickhead said unto Great LUG fine i hope you fall in and break your shovel. and hid behind the giant hole. LUG INVENTOR OF GREAT THINGS LIKE BEER, HOLES, SKIING , BARBECUE PITS , AND 2 PIECE BIKINIS FOR HOT CHICKS ONLY, sat down looked for his cooler with his beer in it and thought how to best cover the mountain with snow quickly so people could have ski lodges full of drunk horny people and fondue using portable holes. but LO! his cooler was empty and the people became disenheartened and said unto LUG, GREAT AND MIGHT LUG MAKER OF SKI RESORTS, we have no beer whatever shall we do? and LUG said be stout of heart for i shall return in a quickness from something i shall call a BEER RUN!!!

>>15852316
and as he did so, his brother Wry that rat fuck bastard snuck around the corner and having drank all the beer pulled out his angry inch and pissed a stream that filled the hole completely, and drowned many of Lug`s followers in a noxious fluid. Lug heard their cries and came running to save them. seeing the horror that his brother had unleashed on his hole, the ski bunny super mountain, and BRO`s. LUG THE MIGHTY, KICKER OF ASSES, AND SLAPPER OF SHIT, put a truly epic assbeating on wry. so epic was the assbeating that the ALL FATHER BRIAN BLESSED, rolled up with his hawkmen and wanted to know what the fuck was going down. And LUG answered unto him, Oh great All father, Wry being an asshole spoilsport, had killed my followers, wrecked my holes , and drank my beer, i have grown weary of his assholery and hath decided to SLAP HIS SHIT. and the all father decided to investigate the scene and said unto LUG, i have seen the folly of wry, and will bring back the people he hath drowned in his bedwetting fury. and the all father said unto him, LUG my son, you are of a great heart and much compassion for the people and are a great god unto them, for this i will give a sign of my favor to you and to them. and with that the all father created HAWAII AND SURFING WHILE DRUNK. and the people rejoiced mightily saying derp derp derp wry sucks cocks herp derp derp he fucks up non stop. and the great all father made the surfing separate from the skiing, and allowed the pople to travel back and forth using his newly invented HAWKMAN AIRLINES with great low fares anywhere they travel. and told wry if you do something like this again i will came down here and slap your shit without mercy and shove your head so far up your ass, that i will put you in the sky as a new moon.

and that was the story of how lug invented surfing movies.

>>15852321
>>15852316
>>15852250
what do guys think of these? first time writefag

>>15852437
seems a bit too technological
and I dont think Lug is much for beating up people

>>15852608
he isnt about beating people up, he was about making people enjoy life, and digging holes. wry is the one about making life shitty and being a dick.


also it was the ancient past when all the neat stuff was created, forgotten, and recreated.

>>15852649
Indeed, for when man, often incited by the dread god Wry, did fight amongst themselves, did not Lug come to them and sayeth, “Chill, guys. And let’s have a beer and relax.” And they, soothed by his epic broness and holes, did so relax and drink beer.
So much peace was wrought by Lug that the race of man did seek to find ways to tribute him. He responded “Nah it’s good.” But lo, man would not relent. They tried to honor him with holes, but their creations felt weak next to his. But alongside him they would drink beer, mighty volumes of beer. They, in their love for him, would drink such volumes most rapidly. Lug simply drank and enjoyed their company. And thus, they named their grandest volumes after him, in honor and tribute.
To this day, men will still chug a Lug.

>>15844978
Behold the book of Thaul!

Let us pray!
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

My name is Khogg
I am the god of smugness through minor and widely unnoticed achievements.
My symbol is the 55, sometimes amplified to 555 or more.
I am worshipped through act, not ceremony.
You worship me whenever you sneak a fart in public,whenever you manage to hide all your porn and wank wipes just before your parents walk through the door, whenever you made a witty comment on the internet, whenever you postnumber matches what you posted.

>>15854372
Oh, Khogg. You are a fickle and smarmy god.

Lug demands drawfags

I like how Lug is basically just a bro with a shovel. It's easy to imagine him as a guy from the future or from space coming to a primitive planet and just trying to be chill

Who are you?

Folorn

what are you the god(dess) over?

The God of the Lost. Lost Places, lost people, lost things, lost lore.

what is your symbol?

A hand seeking to grasp something

who worships you?

Treasure seekers, Lore masters, those left behind.

One day, the mortals ran out of beer and said to Lug, this kinda sucks. And so lug made holes in the heavens and rain began to fall. Lug also scattered beernuts to the soil and from them grew everything the mortals needed to make their own beer. Lug saw their beer and thought that it was pretty awesome. But as the mortals began to stockpile the beer, they noticed they didn't need the rain all the time.
Nevertheless, the mortals followed Lugs will and dug holes, they were happy with what they did and saw that it was good. But they did not know what to do with the dirt they shifted from the hole once the rain made it wet, they prayed to Lug but Lug was a little hung over and Wry answered. Posing as Lug, Wry gave the mortals instructions on how to build with the dirt, they followed them to the letter but when they were done they had walled themselves inside a cube of dirt and couldn't get out. Lug rolled over and saw this and surmised that it was pretty lame, and so he had the mortals dig holes in the sides of the house and dig arches on the front.
And so Lug said to the world "Yeah, he's kind of a dick" And so Houses were made, and it was pretty sweet.

I am Yyog.

I am the spirit of all things and places wild and untamed. I am the first howl of the wolf cub, I am the warning hiss of the viper, I am the stampeding bellow of the elephant. I am a hunger for flesh and a fire in the loins.

My blessings are anger, strength, and dominance. Whether my name is invoked or not, I am in the heart of every mother who has fought to the death for her young and every male whose passions have brought him to blows.

I am survival of the fittest. I am the savage, pounding heart at the very core of life.

The first animal (that was not a mole)

Lug saw that the race of man did well, and he was pleased, so Lug left man to have a beer. The race of man harvested the nuts and drank the beer, warmed themselves by the fires and watched the moles dig holes. The race of man remebered the creation of the mole and figured out that they should try creating life too.
So the race of man gathered grey clay and made a great body and on the body they placed four feet. Look, said man, it is like a mole, for it has got four legs. But their creation was not like a mole. it was like a nut with legs and man was not happy. Man stuck a tail on the creature, made from a straw of grass, it was long and dangly, not short and stubby like that of the mole. Then man made a head for the creature. the head was large and chunky and it was a strange creature indeed. The race of man liked their creation and gave the creature some hairs in its head and two big leaves for ears, but when they gave the creature beer it did not drink and live. The race of man then went to bed because it was night.

>>15856671
Sir, I beg your pardon, but all it needs, to stop beer shortage is a tunnel to Germany.

>>15856935


Wry saw the creation and made a scheme most dickish in his mind. He placed upon the creature great teeth and hid in it a mind close to that of a man, for he knew Lug would prolly give the creature life, and with a mind like man the creature would eventually quarrel with them and destroy them with its teeth.

And behold! when Lug saw the creature and thought it was pretty neat, he breathed life into it and it rampaged. Man and Lug ran, for the creature was big and angry and Wry laughed.
But lo, the creature came upon the beer and because it had a mind like man it knew the joys of beer and tried to drink, but its head had no neck so it could not get close to the beer, and the creature wept. man and Lug saw this and pitied it, so man made from clay a giant straw and placed it ont he creature's face and lug made it flesh and it drank and became bro with man.

The creature left man in peace to walk the earth in great herds and eat of the trees and as long as man give unto them beer and do not fight them they will remain bros who will occasionally help the race of man lift shit.

And that is why to this they they are called Brolophants

wry will cause your beer to go stale unless you drawfag for him!

The First Hole.

One day, when the earth was young, Lug and Wry were walking about with a dozen beers checking out the earth. There was a cool breeze blowing but in these days the Sun was still in the sky and it was hot.

"I'll go to Zig, the God of Cool Breezes, and tell him to blow a little bit more so it is not so hot" said Wry. And off Wry went to Zig.

The breeze stopped blowing and Lug thought: "Yes, that was the most likely outcome knowing Wry. Now it will get hotter."

So Lug sat upon the earth and had a few beers. He saw that the beer that was in His shadow was cooler than the beer left out in the full sun.

"I will bend the earth to my will so it will create shadow" said Lug.

So Lug dug a great hole and felt the cool earth beneath Him cool His beer and He thought this was pretty cool so he went to sleep for a bit.

When Wry returned to Lug after offending Zig, and he saw the great hole and Lug and the cool beer. Wry did enjoy the cool beer, all of the cool beer. And when Lug woke, He saw that Wry was drinking the last beer and was urinating in the Great Hole.

But Lug was not angry, just a little pissed off, so He said to Wry: "You could have brought some more. Stay here, I'll be back in a bit".

When Lug returned the next week (Why did Lug spend so long away? That is another story for another time), Wry was still pissing into the Great Hole, and it was filled with piss and horrible creatures.

So Lug left to dig another hole in a different place.

>>15857414
but the first hole is the universe
*mindimplode*
oh well, all religions need contradictions

>>15857454
Actually... that would be ... [I forget his name], who put something in a space of nothing, instead of Lug, who put a space of nothing in something.

Who was it... ?

>>15857782
>>15845375

there was earth so Lug dug a hole. that hole houses everything.
AKA: the universe

>>15857998
WE HAVE OUR FIRST SCHISM!

Now, to settle this we must follow in the steps of Lug and drink beer until we forget what we were arguing about and become bros who respect each other's differences.

>>15857998
>>15858054
Wait, wait, wait... It was all Earth, the entire universe was earth and Lug dug ... UP? Wow, I didn't read it like that at all! That's way better.

(I'm actually surprised that there haven't been more Drills and Holy puns in this thread).

>>15858104
Nah. Lug only pulls out the HOLY GIGA DRILL when he gets pissed.
It takes a lot to really get him motivated.
(non canon)

>>15857414
Retconning this to be "How Lug Made the World Not Flat and How Wry Made the Ocean"

We need to get a writefag in here, and record the sacred holedigging texts of Lug

I am Azathoth, and I own all you bitches.

>>15858408
LONG SUFFERING LUG.

Uh, yeah, Captcha... but not quite.

>>15858319
The Blind idiot god is just that- blind, idiotic, retarded.

diggy diggy holy bump

I am Hu, god of mankind.

Ambitious, violent, loving, wise, I am the guardian of humanity. The men of the south were born from my seed and I have watched over them since the very beginning. I am their father, and I try my best to listen to their pleas. During times of mounting strife and chaos, I walk the land under the guise of an irresistible man, laying with as many women as I can so that my children may have powerful demi-gods to stand at their sides. Cities, markets, and the hearth are my domains. To the wisest and strongest of my descendants I grant kinghood, while the foulest and most unfair are spared my wrathful hand, for I could not bring myself to personally harm my own kin. I am impartial to the quarrels of my children, their wars and politics--but what good father chooses favorites among his spawn?