rolled 68 = 68

Let's make a Sex Servitor and sell it to someone for some spare cash!

>>16077369
>Legio Cybernetica
>servitor programming

Okay, gentlemen, we have two options for this quest:

either ABC Warriors Quest

or mai robo-waifu quest

rolled 100 = 100

>>16077378
You heretek.

We'll have to make them in bulk to appease the machine gods.

>>16077384
>rolls a 100
>making sex servitors in bulk

By the Omnissiah.

EVERYONE IS DOOOOOOOOMED.

>>16077384
Psh. We are Tech-Priests, what do care for flesh?

>>16077404
we don't we have a dick of adamantium

Let's create a robo-booty to stuff up.

rolling

rolled 41 = 41

>>16077421
hurr

rolled 98 = 98

>>16077421
>robo-dick

YES. It will be two feet long, and hard as steel. With laser guidance systems and micro-servo motors for the pleasure of others.

DO IT.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16077421
+1 for Robo-booty

today's crowd seems different.

>>16077446
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzfQwXEqYaI

>>16077434
I suggest we put a V6 motor engine in it. with an exhaust pipe behind and flames painted on the sides.

>>16077421
>>16077429
You're not sure what has come over you but you get the sudden urge to overcompensate as much as possible. You decide to enhance yourself with a FERROUS PHALLUS modification. But where will you get the parts for that? You might have some in your WORKDESK.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 90 = 90

>>16077478

>>16077455
fuck you man, fuck you

rolled 9 = 9

>>16077478
But...but... >>16077434

>>16077478
uh, okay, what are we supposed to write?

>>16077478
+++ Addendum +++
+Event: D.100 (the roll of first even-numbered post will be used)

rolled 62 = 62

>>16077487
it will come later, we might get burned with a regular dick in that exhaust pipe

rolled 46 = 46

>>16077499
Look at:
>>16077487
>>16077434

>>16077509
(For those new to Questus Mechanicus, the D.100 program works thusly: when making normal decisions, the lowest roll of the first three posts OR the most popular will be used. At certain times, when a roll is required to complete a task, an "+Event" will be triggered. In these cases, the roll of the first even-numbered post will be used.)

rolled 90 = 90

>>16077531
Ok then. I still think Robo-booty is more called for though.

rolled 60 = 60

>>16077531
I second the robutt.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16077531
BUT ROBOT DAT ASS!

rolled 21 = 21

Wander the halls and sing for the servitor.

>>16077545
phew.

thanks to our techno-mastery skills, we can win that kind of rolls on a 45 or less, right?

rolled 90 = 90

>>16077549
This do it with Daniel.

>>16077542
YOU'VE RUINED US.

RUINED US.

>>16077577
IT'S OKAY, MAN, IT'S OKAY, WE WILL EVENTUALLY COME ACROSS A XENO-ARTEFACT THAT WILL ALLOW US TO BUILD IT!

>>16077542
You rummage through your WORKDESK for SPARE PARTS to use but your search turns up empty. In fact, you think you might have misplaced a few things (or maybe more was stolen than you thought)! With your search turning up nothing, you decide that maybe the Omnissiah doesn't want you chasing such selfish means of idealism.

Instead, he wants you to make some robo rump that everyone can benefit from! But now you need to find some parts to build this GLORIOUS GLUTEUS with.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 55 = 55

>>16077585
The Omnissiah wants us to build everyone in the building a robotic waifu?

OFF TO THE FORGE! WE NEED PARTS!

rolled 18 = 18

>>16077585
ok

Powered by a V6 engine
chromium ridges
red-varnished outer shell
flames painted on the sides
handles on the sides
exhaust conveniently placed

rolled 65 = 65

>>16077593
No, not a waifu. rollan for gaint metal onahole.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16077597
Shaped like a person, but made of metal. Also, the boobs must be able to move, for titjobs.

>This Thread

God dammit /tg/, what the fuck.

rolled 62 = 62

>>16077606
it has to be progressive, and custom.
VROOM VROOM

>>16077621
Should we have nipples made of steel or titanium?

rolled 76 = 76

>>16077613
I feel bad for OP

Still, the hive demands robo-waifu

By chance can we at least program her with the servitor kill command but instead she seduces the heretek then grinds his gibbles into giblets?

rolled 34 = 34

>>16077626
I suggest gold. It conducts warmth better

>>16077626
>titanium
>tit anium
>tit

God dammit.

rolled 29 = 29

Maybe try again after the weekend OP?

The first few were nice, this is just aching for a ban.

>>16077650
no porn pics, everyone is having fun, and we're on the weekend

>>16077593
>>16077597
>>16077606
>>16077621
You've got it. Just the right combination of power, stability, and "gawddayum!" Naturally you're going to need lots of parts for this. Good ones, too. The forge should have plenty of them lying around. You don't think anyone will miss them what with all the racket the Mech-Lord is making about the traitor.

You make your way out of your hab building and to the nearby grav-shuttle which takes you to your assigned forge. Everything seems to be operating normally. You know that there is a SCRAP ROOM which contains parts deemed "unfit" for general use. They might be generally low quality, but no one cares what happens to them. There is also a WAREHOUSE filled with anything and everything. It's pretty well guarded and someone might certainly miss those parts, but they're guaranteed good.
Thirdly, you might try asking a co-worker or something. You never know what these crazy guys might do or say, though.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 15 = 15

>>16077658
1. Go to Scrap Room.
2. Use AIR DUCTS to sneak into WAREHOUSE
3. ???
4. Profit

>>16077664
that sounds risky

>>16077664
>Deus Ex: AdMech Revolution

This is actually fitting.

>>16077679
because of the ass?

>>16077707
Because of the air ducts.

But that too.

>>16077664
You decide to play it smart and bypass the security. You walk over and into the SCRAP ROOM nonchalantly before closing the door and attempting to traverse the AIR DUCTS to get into the sweet nest of wholesome parts that is the WAREHOUSE.

+Event: D.100
+Input required.
> |

rolled 32 = 32

>>16077742
Amazing pic OP. You are truly an Omnissiah among hereteks.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16077742
>OP's pic
>cardboard boxes
>headbang

Oh god, the nostalgia.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16077742
okay, we need to find the appropriate parts and a means to take them with use discreetly and easily

rolled 71 = 71

>>16077742
Through the air vent! GO GO GO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqqq8uqSDnk

>>16077770
You hop out of the AIR DUCT and into the room. The only sounds are that of the entire forge clanking, humming, and hissing away outside and a few SERVITORs moving parts a good distance away. You're pretty sure you made it in okay. The crates all seem to be labeled with serial numbers and no mention of the contents otherwise. They also look really heavy. You're not sure how you're going to rummage through them yet, but you'd better decide quickly because a SERVITOR seems to be heading in your direction.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 14 = 14

>>16077845
Use our innate knowledge of AdMech organizational procedure to figure out which box the parts we need are in.

Also, hide before we're spotted.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16077854
this

>>16077854
Sounds good to me

rolled 36 = 36

>>16077900
Messed mine up. Derp

>>16077854
>>16077870
You know that parts are divided by the function they serve and that each function has a complementary 3-digit code. You're not sure what the code is, though. There might be a DATASLATE or DATA PORT somewhere in this warehouse for the sake of Menials and green Tech Adepts. Besides that, only the SERVITORs know. Hell, you could always guess the code, too.

Before all that, you duck behind a crate to avoid being seen by the SERVITOR. Looks like you weren't as quiet as you thought. It does a quick survey of the area and then leaves to resume its tasks.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 20 = 20

>>16077928
gotta find a dataslate or a data port

>>16077928
Go to find DATA PORT or DATA SLATE while doing our best Solid Snake impersonation.

Use it to figure out where the parts we need are.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16077947
HURR DURR forgot to roll.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16077958
This. Also, see if we can't look around for other places to hide if need be.

>>16077958
>>16077947
You decide to look for a DATAPORT or DATASLATE. You wander around for a while, dodging SERVITORs every now and then, before finally stumbling upon a DATASLATE left on a small cardboard box. Probably some forgetful Menial who's going to get SERVITOR'd later.

You sift through the DATASLATE for the appropriate entries, but...

+Cogitating...

>>16078037
OQBWQOV 356
VREOKV MQJ ZLDHV 649
PMBMAWQOV 112
POHMD NDMHWQB 215
HMRL HYOVJMG 777
NMWQH MQJ XMEQWVS 666
SMQJDOV 295
VOEXWHLE NMEHV 212
OFSMYVH 404

Oh no, that smarmy data-cruncher encrypted his DATASLATE! You might be able to solve this problem yourself. Otherwise, you'll have to either get the owner to decode it or find another way.

rolled 43 = 43

>>16078077
Decode it like a Boss.

>>16078077
aw no, not obscure hip-hop band names again...

rolled 24 = 24

>>16078077
We laugh at your puny attempts at encryption. LAUGH! Watch as I decrypt this DATASLATE using only my right hand!

rolled 57 = 57

>>16078077
decoding

>>16078101
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c

>>16078101
>>16078094
>>16078105
You fiddle around with it for a while, stressing your cogitators and scanning your memory banks for the answers. Alas, you only manage to conclude that "O" equals "E". You might need another means of solving this problem after all.

+Input required.
> |

rolled 94 = 94

>>16078169
Hump the dataslate to appease the machine spirit, then try again.

rolled 55 = 55

>>16078169
r...rolling...

rolled 82 = 82

>>16078169
Well shit.

EQBWQOV 356
VREEKV MQJ ZLDHV 649
PMBMAWQEV 112
PEHMD NDMHWQB 215
HMRL HYEVJMG 777
NMWQH MQJ XMEQWVS 666
SMQJDEV 295
VEEXWHLE NMEHV 212
EFSMYVH 404

Yeah, I'm not seeing it.

Can we try again? If not, go and hide, then sneak out to find someone to decode it.

rolled 74 = 74

>>16078169
Try again.

Unfortunately, without some new information or significantly more time to study it, you won't be able to figure it out at this time.

The DATASLATE seems to be assigned to "M."

+Input required.
> |

>>16078224

rolled 89 = 89

>>16078224
Use the letter M as a base to decode it!

rolled 87 = 87

>>16078247
dis

rolled 50 = 50

>>16078224
Sneak out of the warehouse before somebody spots us, and try to find someone who's better at decoding.

Promise to let them use the Robowhore when it's done if they help.

>>16078259
>>16078274
You decide to get out before you're spotted. With some deftness and quick thinking, you find an open crate about to be hauled out. It looks like the only way to get past the guard SERVITORs. You quickly hop in and wait for them to secure the lid again. It should be opened up at a checkpoint just outside the building to confirm contents, though they usually just open them all at once and go through one by one. That should be plenty of time to sneak out before you're noticed.

It looks like this particular crate is filled with TACOs. Funny, Taco Tuesday isn't until TUESDAY. Whatever.

Everything goes as planned and you're once again back at the entrance to your work building. What to do now?

+Input required.
> |

rolled 46 = 46

>>16078338
Steal all the tacos.

ALL OF THEM.

Then bribe an AdMech encryption expert with them, so we can figure out the Dataslate.

rolled 58 = 58

>>16078338
Go find someone to decrypt our new dataslate.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16078338
we should ask Daniel and Techno-Gregory to help us decode it

rolled 64 = 64

>>16078373
Give them some tacos we pocketed from the box.

Tech Priests love tacos!

>>16078373
After pocketing some TACOs, you decide to utilize your faithful companions TECHNO-GREGORY and DANIEL. Maybe one of them can solve this riddle of steel. You begin with TECHNO-GREGORY because of his enhanced programming.

+TACO (4) acquired.
+Event: 2.D.100 (TECHNO-GREGORY has been blessed with a special program written by your friend Jules Aeythi. This program lets him ROLL TWICE and use the better result.)
+Input required.
>|

rolled 65 = 65

>>16078383
but they're automatons

no, we steal the tacos

ask the two critters if they can help us

if they can't bribe a techpriest with the tacos

rolled 66 = 66

>>16078373
s

rolled 8, 35 = 43

>>16078414
DECODE THIS DATASLAT, BRO! DO IT, DOG!

rolled 17 = 17

>>16078477
dammit, I did 2D100

re-rolling correctly
first, 1d100

rolled 28 = 28

>>16078514
then, another

>>16078514
Omnissiah's motherboard! TECHNO-GREGORY has done it! With some scuttling and heavy lifting, the DATASLATE has been decrypted. The list reads as such:

Engines 356
Screws and bolts 649
Magazines 112
Metal plating 215
Taco Tuesday 777
Paint and varnish 666
Handles 295
Servitor parts 212
Exhaust 404

Now you can find the stuff you need to make a GLORIOUS GLUTEUS and then some! You might have to ignore some of the useless entries though. With a gleeful (maybe) puff of smoke, TECHNO-GREGORY goes back into your robe's pocket. You hear a slight crunching noise and the sound of meat, lettuce, and cheese falling. The little scamp.

+++ End feed +++
+Coinciding charges...
+Filtering excess...
+Determining grade point average...
+Removing malignant tumor...

+Data stream to resume at later date.

(Thanks for participating. Questus Mechanicus will most likely resume on Tuesday.)

Fuck yeah.

>>16078630

it was awesome