>>16456653
I did a more detailed summary this time than ever. I did a brief summary of the quest's events from the perspectives of some of the other characters. So far I'm done with all of the gods and your dogs. Maybe next thread will have your wife, nymphs, and other mortal PCs.
Also, previous threads here:
>suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=WoodsQuest
This will take a while just to post, so feel free to take a bit to skim through the last three threads and catch up if you're new here, just so you get a more coherent picture of events.
Returningfags, these summaries should be just the thing to recall good memories and prime yourself for the challenges ahead!
But before the summaries, I have some other vital info...
All in all, it's going to be a few minutes before we start moving forward with the story again. Good time for Q&A though!

>>16456666
In all seriousness, I have some big plans plot-wise. I went into the third thread without much enthusiasm to begin with, but it ended up being very fun to write...I know I didn't do a stellar job of actually giving you all something to interact with, but it was an event I felt I had to deal with in detail somehow or other. Besides, it was sort of like a Pokemon battle, wasn't it? Go, Dionysus! Use Vine Whip! We ought to get /vp/ in on this!
Nonsense aside, while I don't want to give anything away: I have a truly epic mythic quest planned. Depending on how this thread goes, we may end up beginning on the quest proper before WoodsQuest V. I don't know how long the quest will last, but I'm guessing at least two full threads, probably more.
After THAT quest, I have a quest...that will just blow it right out of the water completely. Probably a little bit longer quest. Then a resultant quest idea that can only be described as 'zany' and 'something completely different', but which will probably end up being relatively short.
After all of THOSE quests, I have one more in the pipes...something I think /tg/ will really particularly like. I know I like it.
Finally, I have plenty of little subquests and occurences that I've thought of, from romantic comedy to get rich quick to HURT FEELINGS EDITION MINIQUEST baka baka baka desuuuu~~
Stick with me, and I may even find the patience to go through with all of these ideas in an unrushed manner.
Not sure yet if I'll keep doing the one-a-day threads, but I will post the fifth thread tomorrow at 6 or earlier EST (barring unforeseen events).

(Current diplomatic stance/while drunk, Magical domains/specials, other diplomacy)
[I'm going to use something like the Mount and Blade diplomacy system from now on, just because I like it. It's simple, 100 to -100, where positive is friendly, -20 is anger, and -50 is like a total rage/violence threshold.]
***ARTEMIS (-20/0, Hunting/Archery/Moon/Nature/Chastity/Ruthlessness, 10/60 Dionysus 20/20 Demeter -60/-30 Pan 40/0 Apollo -10/-10 Zeus)
***DIONYSUS (70/90, Wine/Insanity/Storms/Inebriation/Vines/SEA MONSTERS, 40/40 Artemis 30/30 Demeter 60/60 Pan -25/-25 Apollo 0/0 Zeus)
***DEMETER (5/10, Nature/Fertility/Seasons/Earth/Flowers, 15/15 Artemis 20/30 Dionysus -5/5 Pan 20/20 Apollo 5/5 Zeus)
***PAN (10/20, Music/Orgies/Inebriation/Buffoonery/Jokes/Tricks/Mirth, 0/40 Artemis 50/100 Dionysus 0/15 Demeter 0/10 Apollo -5/0 Zeus)
***APOLLO (-10,-25, Sun/Archery/Strength/Power/Centrality/Splendour/Glory/Victory/Masculinity/Cuckolding, 10/10 Artemis -15/-25 Dionysus 5/5 Demeter -10/0 Pan 100/100 HIMSELF 30/30 Zeus)
***ZEUS (0/0, Lightning/Supremacy/Conquest/Battle/Lechery/Fatherhood/Cuckolding, 0/10 Artemis 0/10 Dionysus 15/20 Demeter 0/5 Pan 60/80 Apollo)

>>16456672
Heya, good to see you dude!
Archives are down unfortunately I think, so people can't read the old threads... good thing you're gonna post a detailed summary. And don't worry about the last thread, I thought it was pretty cool, lots of action and all.

[Sober/Drunk feelings towards you]
Ogg (You) - [-2/50, lol] No longer a smashy hunter, you're now spending all of your time navigating tricky social situations in order to stay alive and in your own little paradise.
Huey (Findan dog) - [20/20]
Duey (Runnan dog) - [20/20]
Louie (Maiman dog) - [20/20]
Eudora (Wife) - [30/60] She TOTALLY went and beat you to cheating with a deity. DEAL WITH IT. But you cheated on her first at least by like over an hour, there literally was a huge line to get to Apollo.
Athens Guard (Always seems to be the same guy) - [0/10]
Tiberius (Landowner guy) - [10/20]
? (His first son) - [-5,5]
? (His second son) - [5,15]
Eir (Nymph 6) - [20/30] The youngest and first to come around. She may be a bit taken with you.
Mist (Nymph 5) - [10/20] Always in the background soothing or healing something. Eir's best friend, incidentally.
Róta (Nymph 4) - [10/20] Quit pissing on the vines, Róta.
? (Nymph 1) - [15/30] Eldest of the nymphs who fell to Dio's traps, drank deeply of the wine river. Automatic leader of your nymphs, can be a bit haughty and detached, the most like Artemis out of the bunch.
? (Nymph 2) - [5/10] Not yet important enough to get a personality, description, or mannerism.
? (Nymph 3) - [5/10] Not yet important enough to avoid being ""'d
? (Demeter's Cleric) - [5/15] A real MILF. Your wife's a fan and possibly a friend now.
? (Apollo's Cleric) - [-30,-50] What an asshole. Still, way to technically break the rules and be a dick by getting him drunk and trying to hit him. He probably told Apollo about that, and that's why he made sure to sleep with your wife.
Sylvia (Artemis' Cleric) - [40/50] Confirmed for 19 years old. Also you broke the fidelity of your marriage with her at the same time she broke her religious vows with you. What happens in Athens, stays in Athens. Doesn't know you like your wife does, but deeply infatuate with you right now. You were her first.

Because people have asked in previous threads.
>Teh Greek myths
>Teh European novels
>Teh Wikipedia
>Teh /b/ (A lot of obscure facts on there believe it or not. I opened /b/ up and used something straight from it at least once during the last three threads.)
>Teh good memory for facts in general
>Teh Interwebz in general


>>16456707
They were down an hour ago, then back up, down, up, kind of intermittent. So I figured I might as well post it.
And yeah there will be enough summary for everyone I think. I do regret not getting the wife's POV done beforehand, because I'm interested to see if /tg/ will sympathize with her or despise her for it.

Day 1:
>Hear her and her nymphs laughing, but run away and don't know it's her
Day 2:
>Morning, find her signet ring at the stream
>Evening, come upon her and the nymphs bathing. Lewis startled the witch!
>She tries to kill you with cruel magic, her ring protects
>You offer her the ring
>She has a nymph take it and wash it off, and gives you an opportunity to pray to your god
>Your god WAS her as the huntress or Apollo as a generally good person to pray to, but you pray to Dionysus
>She turns down his offering of wine
>He ties her up with vines, a la bondage harness
>She gives chase to him and you
>OOC: She is, after some debate, confirmed to be, in fact, very hot
>She gets steeped in wine when her stag gets drunk and falls in the wine river
>She quickly climbs a big vine wall to continue the chase
>HOLY SHIT SHE CAN RUN FAST
>She gets to Demeter, Dionysus, and you...now wearing a vine thong and some other random vines
>She mad, she so mad
>She realizes Dionysus slipped strong wine in her tea, but drinks it anyways to save face
>She drunk and mad
>You reply to Demeter saying she and Dionysus should work together on a festival or something
>She bitches about Apollo not appreciating her skill while drunk

Day 3:
>Ominous reference to her being sober now by Dionysus
Day 4:
>Morning: Oh shit this was the nymph that had the ring, I still have Artemis' ring
>Pan shows up with unconscious Dionysus, OH SHIT HE'S MISSING AN ARM AND IT WAS ARTEMIS? He says he thinks she's 'warming up to him'.
>Apparently she DID warn him not to touch her
>She shows up at your place, riding a stag. Oddly, this is actually the first time you've seen her clothed.
>You offer her the ring. She takes it. She tells you she notices you've corrupted some of her nymphs, and also that she DGAF about you, just here for Dio.
>She takes the ring and teleports past you.
>She is now inside your bedroom with Dio alone, door is basically welded shut, you cannot open it through mundane means
>Cast a Cleric spell! Mending FTW! You now see her bending over him...FUUU VAMPIRE???
>She healed his arm! Also apparently was showing some sort of emotion a second ago. She blasts you back and disappears. Dio says he's 'not so sure she's warming up to him after all'.
[Time Passes]
Day 5: (Effectively)
>She's mentioned by Zeus as being the hunter of Apollo in the entertainment
>There she is in the trees with Dionysus. Oh, now she's right in front of us wearing just a thong. Nice.
>Wait where the hell is she now?
>Shoots up Apollo, runs, gets shot up and beat up by Apollo, suddenly she's over by the lake, springs Dio's trap on Apollo
>Carried out of the depths of the monster-infested seas by Dio.
>Make a huge tree obstacle and disguises briefly as a nymph to complete Apollo's humiliation
>shootan fightan
>Fought to a draw vs her far more powerful twin with Dio's help, also only one to complete battle while somewhat clothed
>Seen immediately after rolling around in a wine fountain with Dio.
>????WHATDOESTHISMEAN

Day 2:
>Evening, OOH PICK ME MAN PICK ME COME ON DIVINE INTERVENTION MAN I'M ON TOP OF IT PICK ME PRAY TO ME DUDE
>HAHA! Artemis, my SOUL SISTER! Damn but you are looking BEAUTIFUL today! What's cracking? Me? Oh, me, just sort of, you know, aiding my followers...the kind of guys who pray to me when in need...not just people with vineyards, you know, all KINDS of bruthas...you know, can't respond to all of them, just would get exhausted, too many worshipers, you know how it is. Can't give the whole crowd your audience every time, but, you know, I try. I just hope all those poor souls praying to me right now will forgive me for being too popular, too busy...god's gotta do what a god's gotta do...anyways, how you been, Arty? Pretty as ever and not a day older, I swear. Have some wine. Have some wine! No, I insist, everybody, try it, it's great, the best there is!
>nymphs giggity, Artemis glares, you wat
>bondages Artemis with vines, runs, stops to wink stylishly at Nymph 2
>WININ', explains things to you about stuff and junk so you're less of a clueless athiest
>Gives you a refilling wineskin, makes a river into wine, makes a wall of vines, makes a wine-powered vinesteed at your suggestion
>Inebriates Artemis' steed and some or her nymphs
>Dionysus nervous at mention of Hades, thinks of Demeter
>Vinewings and inexplicably giant dandelion seed, ALL DRUGS AT ONCE DASH, Hi Demeter
>DEMETER I GOT A PRAYER I GOT A PRAYER THEY PRAY TO ME NOW AUNTIE
>Standoff/parley, slips wine in Artemis' tea
>You stick up for him
>MORTAL, YOU ARE NOW MY CLERIC, A WINE CLERIC
>plots mischief against Apollo with Artemis
Day 3:
>Morning, Oh look a free vineyard, thanks Dio
>"Sucks about the wife man, that little firecracker gonna be alright by the way? Use the grapes, man, my wine is good stuff. Hope the vineyard set up where you wanted it. Look I can't talk, Artemis is sober, and she's sticking to her bargain, but...look, I really can't talk right now, man. Sorry."

Day 4:
>Evening, Pan's on phone, Pan's here now with Dio, oh damn it Dio, what happened to your arm, bro?
>She digs me bro!
>Artemis comes for him...heals him? Leaves.
>She doesn't dig me, bro.
[Time Elapses]
Day 5:
>Hey bro come watch this shit in Athens or something
>Sup bro I'm huntin' Apollos n' stuff
>Sup bro I'm in your head strategyin' with you
>Sup bro I'm not quite as well-endowed as an Apollo, sucks bro
>Sup bro I'm whistlin' up sum sea monsters
>Sup bro I'm fighting on equal terms with Apollos n' stuff
>Sup bro I'm rollin' around in sum wine naked with Artemis
>????WHATDOESTHISMEAN

SUMMARY(DEMETER)
Day 2:
>Evening, diplomacying, oh good for you Dio, calm down now Arty honey
>Hey mortal, let's have some tea everyone
>Oh good idea let's do that! Dio, Arty, you have to work together now
>Ho ho ho ho ho auntin' and plantin'
---
SUMMARY(PAN)
Day 4:
>oh shit oh shit oh damn it oh fuck Dionysus what did you do
>Hey cleric we're crashing at your place
>Oh shiiiit Artemis looks pissed, I'm outta here
>Yup I ran
>Party? Don't mind if I do?
>Gone by morning

SUMMARY(APOLLO)
Day 5:
>HEY EVERYBODY LOOK I'M THE SUN I'M THE SUN BLIND YET HUH?
>THINK YOU CAN HUNT ME, BITCHES? EAT SUPERSAIYAN ARROWS
>FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK VINES
>DIIIIEDIEDIEDIE
>GLUBGLUBOHSHITWHATSTHATFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT
>NEVER BEEN EATEN BEFORE...
>INVINCIBLE STRENGTH! I CAN DEFEAT ANYTHING! I'M....OWW WHERE DID THAT TREE COME FROM?
>NYMPH? WOW I...WAIT WTF? SOMETHING'S NOT RI...
>STOMP STOMP SMASH SMASH GASP GASP
>HEY WHAT WAS YOUR NAME, EUDORA? ALRIGHT EUDORA, TAKE IT, TAKE IT ALL, WHORE. NOW SUUUUUCK ITTT. ALRIGHT, NEXT!
---
SUMMARY(ZEUS)
Day 5:
>GLORY FROM ON HIGH
>Hey everybody, speeeeech
>Apollo's my favorite son ever, Apollo's awesome
>Haha APOLLO'S SO COOL
>Okay seriously it's been hours, I really need a stiff drink and a flexy woman, let's just call it a draw

SUMMARY(DOGS)
Day 1:
>Looks like we don't get to do any hunting until the humans quit yelling about numbers
>Nice, we can break the 4th wall
>We're on leashes? Balls to that!
Day 2:
>Wait why did we wait a day? Christ...
>Huey: Guys I'm smellin' mad amounts of nymph over here, let's check it out
>Huey: Hey guys check this out a rabbit.
>Louie: Wow, I work for an idiot. Anyways, bet you didn't see that coming, rabbit. BITCH OWNED.
>Woah we actually get some meat for ourselves too, thanks master.
>Nymphs again, yep, nymphs like mad, who's that watery tart in the middle and do you think she's handing out swords?
>SPLASH, lol, master got splashed
>Huey: NYMFS. NYMFS play fetch?
>Duey: So..this is the part where we finally get to eat you? Or do we have to wait for you to turn into a stag?
>Louie: Flea. Also, am Sauron. Ooh The Ring!
>Duey: Not so fast, I'm god-tier. Ooh. NYMF play? Ring? Want ring?
>Drinking wine. We're nobles now. Cool.
>Yelp, WTF, vines, we weren't done with that wine, man.
>Uncomfortable and uncertain, we disapprove.
>DEMETER WANNA PLAY???? PLAY PLAY PLAY
>Home now, zzz

Day 3:
>Hunting. No prey. Why did Artemis have to get so jimmy-rustled?
>NYMF WANNA...wait, traps aren't for nymphs, wtf master, wtf.
>Evening, Huey: DEER AT ONE O CLOCK MOTHERFUCKERS
>GET IT
>That bow does our work for us, nice, nom nom deer, nom nom STOP
>No seriously, Louie, stop
>Louie: I AM SAURON DESPAIR AND--oh, sorry.
Day 4:
>WE GOT SUM BONES YEAAAHHH
[Timewarp]
Day 5:
>Hunting? Really? Can't we just stay here eating steak? Oh fine.
>Huey: IT'S THAT MOTHERFUCKER TIBERIUS GET HIM BOYS
>KILL KILL BARK
>Actually let's hang on a sec and discuss metaphysics for a bit. Can you even fancy Einstein being in such denial about the quantum sciences?
>Today we assisted the nymphs in watering the vines for great justice and prosperity.

Yeah so, uh, totally out of things to copypasta in now.

Where we left off, you were fuming in your cool new pad, determined to destroy Apollo.

If anyone's reading this, yell so I know you're here, and I'll start us off with a little random encounter I dreamed up earlier.

>>16456803
Yes, destroy Apollo, absolutely... but he is too strong for us right now, isn't he? I guess we could call Dio and talk to him about it, but it seems clear we can't really do anything for now...
At least he dislikes Apollo too though, so he might not be too opposed to start some plotting...

>>16456838
I'M HERE!

>>16456848
>>16456843
Alrighty.
NYMPH GRAB MY FLASK!
ADVENTUUUUUURE~
---
You walk out into your former coatroom to sit in the blessed pool and pray to your god.

Your reverie is shortly interrupted, however, buy a high-pitched, toneless voice:
"WHO GOES THERE?"

Looking up at the sound, you see...an honest-to-goodness cherub! What do?

>>16456869
*by
There shall be no trading in voices in this thread.

>>16456869
"It is I, Ogg, cleric of Dionysus! And what do you call yourself, and why are you in my temple?"

rolled 15 = 15

Interesting quest. Perhaps there¡d be a way to contact the Ennosigaios and turn him from Poseidon to Broseidon in this mad quest for revenge? Discuss details with Endendros Dionysus?

Also, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyonisos#Epithets
>Bromios ("the thunderer" or "he of the loud shout").
Surprisingly accurate, wikipedia.

>>16456908
I...AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL...RICHARD! AND I HAVE BEEN SENT TO GUARD THIS SACRED GROVE AND TEMPLE IN THE NAME OF BASIC PROPRIETY AND DECORUM!

BUT IF YOU TRULY ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE, THAN I SHALL PERMIT YOUR PRESENCE HERE TO CONTINUE UNHINDERED...FOR THE PRESENT!

>>16456912
Unfortunately I'm just a dilettante in Greek mythos, so I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

>>16456951
"Sent? By whom? Dionysus?"

>>16456982
NOT HE; I SERVE A HIGHER POWER! THE B.F.S.C.M.!

rolled 6 = 6

>>16456951
Don't worry about dem epithets, Ennosigaios is just another name for Poseidon, given to him because of his attributed power over earthquakes and surreptitious stuff in Hesiod's cosmogony. But forging an alliance with such a God of dickery, even if temporal, would be rather hard(and hit a bit Ogg's relationship with Zeus Cloudgatherer). Wikipedia is a good place to look for them and garnish your Classical writefagging.

>>16457007
"Excuse my lack of knowledge on the proper use of acronyms for gods and other higher beings... the what now?"

>>16457047
BUREAU FOR SUFFICIENTLY CLICHE MYTHOLOGY!!!

Richard bellows self-importantly.

FUCK YEAH WOODS QUEST!!!

>>16457072
"Ooooh, okay. Say, if one cleric of some temple were to not be too... content with your uninvited presence. Hypothetically, what would keep him from kicking your ass out?"

>>16457099
(It's funny because that's exactly how creepy I've always imagined Zeus to be, and I've never seen that movie.)

>>16457112
Richard lowers his fat, pink baby-face close to yours, gesturing menacingly with his undersized bow.

"Bitch, I'm immortal." he coos.

"Besides, I can protect this place a damned sight better than those nymphs. Speaking of which...good taste, my friend, good taste."

>>16457113

Has he turned into an animal and raped the PC yet?

>>16457137
(No. I made sure he only got one short cameo at a festival in Athens, and that was to drool over his favorite son. Our cleric of wine doesn't have the HP to take more than a few showers of golden coins on the pate just yet.)

rolled 5 = 5

>>16457129
>>16457072
"Oh mighty daemon from beyond the realms of mortal comprehension, strange numen not born of Gaea or Nix, what portents dost thou bring from over Atlas shoulders? What does the Abrahamic father, the iconoclast, have in store for these dark times ahead of us? "

>>16457129
"Good, good, immortality sounds quite useful. Well, nice to have you on board then, Richie!"
Drink some wine, or something. Does he drink?

>>16457196
You soon discover that he drinks HEAVILY.

So, anything you want to do, or shall I slam you with a plot hook?

>>16457194
"I'm not telling. That's information's a hell of a lot above my paygrade, pal."

>>16457202
Missed that guy? >>16457194
And plot hook would be fine.

>>16457219
What if we hooked you up with one of our nymphs? Would it be worth it to you then?

>>16457229
(Yeah posts don't necessarily actually show up exactly when they're posted lately...must be a disturbance in the force, or the Warp is overtaking the servers.)

"Hey. Ogg. You awake? It's me, Dionysus...is my temple available right now?"

>>16457255
"Sure, it's available. There's some weird cherub thing here but it says it's gonna protect the place so I think it's cool. Also it can drink like a bro."

>>16457239
Look, pal, I haven't been around long, maybe, but I DO know a thing or two about nymphs, and either a nymph goes for you or she doesn't, nothing more to it.

Now get it through your thick hunter skull, I don't KNOW what your fate is, okay? And what is it with mortals, always assuming it's gonna be 'dark times ahead'. Sheesh. Half the time, as soon as someone tells you your fate, you go mad trying to stop it and end up meeting it in an even worse way.

>>16457296
"Wait...Richard? He finally found some place that could put up with him?"

Brief laughter from the other end of the telepathic link.

"Okay, but listen. Fix us up a place to talk, a council room, nothing too big, something secret, like. A lot of stuff is going to go down soon. Make it inside your original house...not under the open sky. Okay? No danger, just...we need somewhere to plan. Okay? And you'll be getting a lot of strange guests, but don't worry about that."

>>16457329
"Alright... see you later then."
I guess we'll do as we're told, make a council room, make sure there's enough seats for everyone. Also, mention to Richie that Dio seemed to know him, maybe he'll share some stories.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16457308
"Much truth there's to your words, messenger from the desert! how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the wise! And yet, I wonder, as mortally fated to, what purpose to the shepherd when the sacrificial lamb is yet to be born? Or of the Lone God, in the Pantheon?"

rolled 7 = 7

>>16457399
Oh Crap. Well, no matter, I'm having fun!

>>16457329
Lets get to working on that council room hopefully theres a spare room somewhere in our house. Oh and lets have richard help us out move some furniture in there he may as well make himself useful while hes here

>>16457399
(Are you a Judaic Greek, or just an early Deist, or am I missing something?)

>>16457387
"'course he knows me, we go way back."
The first to arrive is Pan, looking slightly less jovial than usual, but nonetheless good-natured.

"Cleric, if you intend to stick with Dionysus through and through, it may not be long before you visit far darker places than you ever would have imagined. I doubt much if it will be your own safety you fear for in these times, and so, take this."

He hands you a package.
DO DO DO DO! ITEM GET!
You got: Festive Ledger of Pan

Ability: All beings under your command or protection are monitored by this l;edger. When you look at it and speak the name of one of them, flowing handwriting appears with a short description of what they are doing and their surroundings, sometimes even telling you right where they are.

>>16457455
Richard manages to lift a small vase and move it.

>>16457475
Thank Pan for his kindness, and assure him that we of course intend to stick with Dionysus, whatever may come. He has, after all, saved our life.
Then get back to work, there's much to do.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16457475
Just a college dropout with nothing better to do. I've read a bit on the classics, that's all.

>>16457530
Pan employs your wife and the nymphs to aid you two (he can be oddly persuasive when necessary) and soon all is in order. You hear a timid knock on the outside wall of your hut/temple.

>>16457555
(Oh, I meant you as in the character...or were you actually calling the cherub a Lone God? Because that would certainly get on his good side, natural 1 or not. Oh, just for reference, the little bit of gaming system we actually use is based on D&D 3.5 mechanics. So pretty much just more of the same d20s.)

>>16457557
Timid? Interesting... And on the wall, not the door? Can't they find the entrance from all those vines?
I guess we shall investigate... sneaky-like!

>>16457618
Roll a Move Silently check. Idr your total modifier from the second thread, but you can just roll an umodified d20 and it shoudl be fine.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16457578
Nope, the cherub is the messenger of a 'Lone God'; i.e. YHWH, because his worship excludes all other gods(thus Monotheistic). But yeah, i kinda read cherub and went all catholicism there.

The dark times bullshit, about the decline of helenism in the next 200 years aprox. Finally, tried to roleplay the malkavian part as seen in Bloodlines through the use of epithets and vague metaphors.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16457630
Rollan'

>>16457647
(Okay, so we are talking Yahweh here then. For a second I was afraid I had NO IDEA what was going on. I probably also should have included some more summary: The PC was recently a peasant class hunter and has subpar INT and WIS scores...lol. Although his Charisma might be high enough to have BLUFFED that convo based on something he'd heard during the trip to Athens.)

>>16457657
>>16457647
They hear you trying to Sneak. You round the corner to find a crippled, hunched man supported between two automatons, one gold and one silver. He smiles wryly.

"Trying to get the drop on me, are we, my good cleric? Please...let me pass, I mean you no harm. Have you somewhere for me to sit down?"

>>16457701
"Certainly, just follow me inside... if you are thirsty, I can offer you some wine? Will you tell me your name though, and what business you have with me?"

>>16457647

Fun aside: while Judeo-Christian theology has a singular god, one of the recurring names of God is Elohim. Which is plural.

>>16457778
"I am only here for the council I assure you. Some wine would be most agreeable. I am..."

"Hephaestus!" Pan touched his forehead and bowed deeply. "Punctual as usual. Still spending day and night in the forge? I can smell the coal on you from here! How do you ever plan on landing a woman in that getup? Don't you ever take a break, old man?"

"Pan, my drunken jester...have you forgotten I am married already? Praise be to the Fates, for otherwise my deformities would work more against me than my apparel. As for my taking a break...I will take a break when I see you do honest work, bastard son of the forests!"

They both laughed. The automatons receded into corners of the room and waited.

"The others should be here soon. Ogg, be a good fellow, go and greet them."

(And then they hung up a silver hood with a long tassle, and three green hoods and two brown hoods, and called for wine and eggs and seedcakes.)

>>16457841
Start walking towards the door, and ask: "Who else is to come? I was only told there would be a lot, but nothing more."

>>16457898
"To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely sure who Dionysus invited..."

You wait outside until you see a certain familiar blond-haired sun god striding towards the palce arrogantly. Close behind him, however, are Dionysus and Artemis, along with a very persistent gust of wind.

>>16457916
Apollo!
We do not outwardly show our hostility, and instead greet everyone warmly, leading them inside.

>>16457841
>Vulcan
>married
Yeah, he's not going to like how that turns out.

>>16458023
>Vulcan
Don't even say that, Roman myth is a grotesque mockery of Grecian myth, and I shall have nothing to do with it.
Also, in the Grecian version...he was actually not even mad, at least according to whatever source I read.

>>16458012
Well done.

They gather, with Dionysus at the head of the table.
"So, we are here to discuss..."
"One moment." Apollo cuts in. "First I must commend you, Dionysus, for the tenacity you displayed at the games in Athens. You succeeded in entrapping me for nigh on a minute with the help of only one woman. Very commendable! Shall we go for a bout of wrestling outside, and I will tie my hands behind my back, lest I injure you?"
Dionysus meets his gaze without ire, and with a bit of a half-smile playing across his face.
"I am sorry, mighty Apollo, but I cannot accept your noble offer, as my arm is inordinately fatigued."
"Indeed? The one which was broken in the games? I do hope it troubles you not still...I forget my own strength."
"Oh, indeed, no! A trifle like that? Why, I lost the arm entirely scarce a month before the games! Which brings me 'round to my true ailment. My arm doth pain me for a great feat I subjected it to. Well doth thou know I am no athlete, and yet, in thy lovely sister's presence did I hurl the discus full two leagues!"*
Apollo's jaw tightens perceptibly, as Artemis' pale cheeks redden and she seeks to sit farther back in shadow. After a moment, Apollo smiles cockily again, his eyes on YOU.
"Ah, a goodly feat indeed, my friend. But, if you will forgive my boast, I am truly under more duress than you, for in the presence of thy cleric's wife, I tore asunder the heavens with my spear!"

There is a heavy silence.


*My Grecian adaptation of the euphemism "Got to second base"

>>16458087
I guess that's my mistake for taking Latin instead of Greek. I always felt bad for him...

>>16458108
I did too, even with the Greek version I read. I mean, just in general, too. What a life. And as far as I can tell he's the only one of the gods who worked, besides maybe Demeter on occasion.

Honestly, Hephaestus is my favorite Greek mythic figure of all.

>>16458087
Stay classy, guys.
"Shouldn't we put this childish banter aside for now and discuss what we really came here for? As appropriate as it may seem to some to talk about one's conquests in the presence of the lady in question, or to insult one's host in his own home, I believe we all came here for more pressing matters, and surely, this kind of hostility will do little to help our cause. Shall we begin, then?"

Furthermore, I think Apollo must be destroyed. But not right now.

>>16458187
Everyone's a little chocked that a mere huntery mortal like you dares to tell off Apollo. Apollo looks like he's about to blow this whole place apart, but at that moment you are saved from gory awful death because SHE walks in, and no one really cares about anything or anyone else anymore.

Aphrodite herself, goddess of love and beauty. Make a Will save (d20+1 for you).
She walks around the table to the deformed and stopping Hephaestus (also he's just all-around ugly just fyi) and gives him a BIIIIG HUG.
"My husband, it has been a while since I have seen you. It takes something like this to get you out of that forge of yours?"
He winks good-naturedly at her. "And I should expect to find you waiting dutifully for me at home when I emerge, is that it?"

>>16458240
*shocked

rolled 6 = 6

>>16458240
Rollin' for the team

>>16458268
You rush madly towards Aphrodite, throwing yourself at her and kissing her skin madly until you are pulled off by Hephaestus' automatons.

However, no one seems all that surprised, and Aphrodite just giggles good-naturedly. Probably some of their lack of shock has to do with you being a cleric of WINE.

Anyways...she takes a seat right by Hephaestus, cuddling with him like...I don't even know. Something really beautiful and something really ugly, beyond Disney's capacity to capture at all.

Now...everything below THIS LINE is an awful breach of actual Greek myth, so be warned. Like more awful than what we were already doing.
----------------------------------------------------------

"And now," called Dionysus, rising from his chair, "As some of you already know, the purpose of our meeting here, so covert, so far from Olympos, is this: We are going to take back Persephone, from her prison on the throne of Hades' himself."

There is a deathly quiet once more.
---
I'll give you guys a sec to absorb that while I explain the myth to you:
(meh too long, next post)

>>16458396
Demeter had a daughter, a beautiful nature-y daughter who loved flowers, she was young and sweet and beloved by basically everyone. Hades had drawn lots with his two brothers, Poseidon and Zeus, way long ago and had the misfortune to rule the underworld. Sure his domain kept getting larger with each death, but it was dark and boring. So he kidnapped her one day. Demeter was wicked freaked out, and went to Zeus (I'm using the newer version, rather than including Hecate, for plot reasons which will become apparent). Zeus forced Hades to return her, but Hades was crafty, and was aware that the Fates had ruled that anyone who consumes food in the underworld must remain there forever. So far Persephone had been very cold to him and refused all such offers, but while he brought her to the surface he apologized and offered her some seeds to eat. Very hungry, she could not help herself, and ate four.

She now resides in the underworld four months out of every year, and during that time, Demeter's laments and anger make it winter.

>>16458396
Hmmm... can we free Prometheus too, after we're done with her? I wanna free Prometheus.

Well, better not ask that now. Seems like for the moment, it would be best to just listen, and see where this is going. We seem to be more of the guy who owns this place for now anyway, I doubt anyone really expects us to speak much. Which doesn't mean we won't, but... not for now, I'd say

>>16458534
>Meanwhile, on OP's list of notes:

Ideas for Quests:
Survive Artemis encounter. - Check!
Artemis' and Dionysus' Handiwork At Athens - Check!
Save Persephone
REDACTED
REDACTED
Save Prometheus

I guess that would be a "yes, we can".

>>16458543
Sweet, I'm sure he'll help us beat up Apollo.

>>16458534
So they get to talking strategy, and you realize the following:
Zeus isn't involved because he already forced Hades' hand once in this matter, so he'd be way out of his rights.
Poseidon isn't OFFICIALLY involved because he's one of the big three too.
Poseidon sent Xephyr, the West Wind however...but Xephyr, who has a rebellious history, will of course claim to have acted on his own should shit hit the fan.
Demeter is not directly involved in this operation, but everyone is being very mum about exactly what she'll be up to during it, even Dionysus, even to you.

So, your team:
Dionysus, Artemis, Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Pan, Xephyr, their clerics, aaaand....there's one empty chair.

"We needed someone to fill Zeus' shoes. Someone with that raw offensive power...:

Apollo looks extremely offended that Dionysus' didn't think he could.

"So I got some help from another real old friend..."

The front door slams open and in walks an enormous, muscular god with a truly giant warhammer.

"So," Thor begins, "I'm filling in for Zeus, am I? Well, this should be a blast!"

He glances around the room, taking in everyone, then turns back to Dionysus and, regardless of Artemis' presence, extends a hand to him.
"Congratulations on your recent conquest! A shame it was not a decisive victory, but nevertheless, well fought indeed!"

>>16458649
Cool, that will help! Also, it sounds almost like Dio is taking a leading role on this... way to go dude! Am impressed!

The other clerics aren't here yet, are they?
I wanna know what happened to Sylvia, if she really got fired because of us.

Offer the big, burly god with the hammer the largest wine vessel in the house.

This'll be hilarious.

>>16458649
Zeus? Screw that pussy we got motherfucken THOR!

>>16458746
As it turns out, listening to the conversation, it was his idea.
Anyways, you're to set out as soon as the first snow falls (when Persephone will go down to Hades' realm again).
Plans are made, oaths are taken. You can't understand much of what is said,. Eventually, people begin to leave, but Thor, Dionysus, Artemis, Aphrodite, and Hephaestus seem to be settling in for at least a night or two here.

And I mean yes it's your home but you pretty much agreed for it to be a temple, and any decent cleric would cleric to have a temple packed with multiple actual gods.

>>16458796
That's cool, as long as Apollo gets the fuck out.
Drink and party with Dio and Thor, and whoever else joins. Also, ask Artemis in a quiet minute about Sylvia.

>>16458877
Agreed... wait a minute wheres our wife?

>>16458890
>>16458877
She's cowering in terror.

Artemis looks at you in mingled sympathy and disgust.

"A defiled vessel cannot ever be my cleric. However, I bear Sylvia no ill-will. She serve me well before her fall."

>>16458890
Probably with Apollo.

>>16458913
"That's a shame... I know you and Dio did all the real work, but still, it was quite a battle, and she surely played her part. But I guess it is not my place to question your decisions."

I guess we should go and take care of our wife now... I would have thought she'd be used to the gods by now, but apparently not? Or is it because she cheated on us? Whatever it is, talk to her.

>>16459002
"Certainly not, as the only one here who regards your paltry opinion as significant is Dionysus. Do not forget that, mortal."

She stalks away.

>>16459028
Psh. Still pissed I keep taking all her servants from her, huh?

Anyway, to our wife.

Oh, and your wife is just being overwhelmed, reverent, etc, no harm done.

>>16459061
Oh, alright. Drink with the gods then, maybe try to find out a little more about our plans, what role we'll play, stuff like that.

>>16459110
Your task is to break open the realms above Hades' realm
("That'll be mostly Hephaestus' work")
Bribe Charon
("With enough gold, the blind ferryman becomes also deaf, it is told")
Survive Hades' realm and get to Hades' throne

All they will tell you after that is:
"We'll make him eat his own scheming!"

>>16459157
Well, seems like there's not much to do for now, except for packing a lunch for Apollo to eat while we're down there.
I guess we'll just be a good host for now and see how everything plays out.

>>16459254
>packing a lunch for Apollo to eat while we're down there.
lol'd

Anyways, net breaking up again, any final questions?

>>16459254
I like the way you think

So invest in pomegranates. Lots of them. Check.

...How big is Hades? I think we're gonna need a lot of pomegranates.

...Wait, what about the Fates?

>>16459294
Not really, you already said probably same time tomorrow again, so that's fine. No story related questions either, I think I'd prefer to be surprised.

>>16459316
>>16459254

Ok, so we need to find a way to get Apollo in drag so we can make the switch...

>>16459349
You can't eat ANYTHING. At ALL.
Well, I don't know, maybe you can eat stuff that wasn't made/grown in Hades, but I wouldn't risk it.

Besides you're in the company of gods, they can get you there quick enough, providing you all survive the epic moving battle.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=WoodsQuest
Archived, by the way.

>>16459364
Wait if we switch Apollo with Persephone wouldn't that mean that four months out of the year the sun would be gone?

>>16459364
Seriously this is great.
You clever motherfuckers.
With this sort of thinking Dionysus could have become the next Zeus.

Combine objectives to achieve victory!

fuck yeah woodquest!

really should rename it Dio quest imo, but thats another story.

so, are we just going to put Ogg in the shoes of the protagonist of most greek legends? Golden Fleece next?

>>16459386

Oh, I thought we were going to be force-feeding pomegranates to Hades. <_< >_>

Quite silly in retrospect.