>>16891052
Now with 50% more puns!

THE TIMESTREAM HAS BEEN SHATTERED INTO A THOUSAND ANOMALOUS FRAGME- Oh, nevermind. Carry on.

Dan, do have an entire folder full of dawww lamia pics?

>>16891102
Are you implying that you DON'T have one?

Hell, I thought that was a prerequisite for browsing /tg/.

Hmm, these puns seems to be getting people animated.

>>16891102

...maybe.

ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, go vote for the old threads in the suptg archives if you feel like it.

>>16891119
I'm trying to make one.
Now comp. The old one... err nope, the confidentiality agreement is still in effect.

>>16891119
There's almost certainly a tg torrent of them somewhere....

>>16891123
They do indeed seem to spark life into people

>>16891123
I think we should start moving on

I feel kind of out of place posting in these, I don't live a life full of adventure and mystic wonder. I work in IT, for shit's sake. The only magical marvels I see regularly is one of my coworkers blaming every computer issue on demons.

>>16891166
>blaming every computer issue on demons.

Nice dubs, mate!

>>16891166
Oh please, as though most demons would have the subtlety to leave the computer even vaguely intact after they were done with it (or your coworker, for that matter...)
Devils, now...

I need some help dealing with a Werewolf pack, are they normally extremely territorial against other Weres?
I've recently moved halfway across the states to go to Uni and the Local werewolf pack are giving me all kinds of grief, I've stopped going to the local Were bar and started hanging out at the Vampire club near by only half the people hate me there (I don't trust myself drinking around normal people, alcohol makes me lose some control over my shifting). 4 of them attacked me in a back street a few nights ago.

>>16891166
The proper answer is to start trolling. Go buy a tiny pitchfork, put it half under their keyboard. Watch the hilarity.

>>16891166
don't feel bad. My life is pretty boring as well. I work as a ritualist (think Paralegal only for magic users), and the most interesting thing to happen to me in months is a date with a very assertive Yuan-ti pureblood.

>>16891166
To be fair, there is actually a Technical Gremlinery Department in Tartarus, Inc.

>>16891166
You shouldn't worry about that sort of stuff. I work as a nighttime security guard. Other than the occasional drow outbreak or wizards trying to break in, my day consists of staring at the same five scrying pools all night.

>>16891142
>>16891123
On a completely related note, my crazy grandfather is experimenting with a golem powered solely by laughter. Something about channeling positive energy through sound. I thought the idea was completely fruitless until he actually got it to work. Just our laughs can only power it for a short time, so were thinking of bringing it to a comedy club, see how long it runs after that.

>>16891187
That's what I try telling him.
I mean sure, mischevous fae types playing pranks, I could believe every so often.
And laser printers I'd be willing to accept there's SOMETHING off about them.
But I'm sure ancient beings of immense power have better things to do than make the database server's power cut out on Thursday nights.

>>16891204
Forgot my title, I feel newbish now.

>>16891198
depends on the type of werewolf.
Hereditary or infectious?

>>16891198
Find the alpha, fuck him up. Problem solved.

>>16891198
>I need some help dealing with a Werewolf pack

I advise disassembling them with a silver blade, and storing their thyroid glands in your freezer. I know a guy...

Just kidding! Ha! Ha!

(No, but seriously, I know a guy what pays top dollar.)

>>16891218
>analyzes the situation, awaits further info before advising a course of action
>>16891226
>Resorts to ancient dominance behavioral theory, advises direct confrontation
>>16891232
>SELL THEIR ORGANS FOR CASH, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jesus Christ

>>16891247
The internet, neatly summed up.

The funny thing about Roland getting up my asshole about finding a better line of work?

Adventuring, and being as good at is I am, has actually lead to me getting a job offer related to teaching. I was recently approached with the idea of helping to start a true blue adventuring college. Taught by experts with actual experience. Not just teaching you how to fight or handle traps, but covering how adventuring works in the modern world. Which is where I come in. Apparently my reputation for pond scum style tactics on thwarting dillholes is exactly the kind of thing they want.

Course, they have to get the whole thing started. They want me to travel around giving lectures to create some hype about it.

Fucking hell. I'd rather fight the clockwork war golem again.

>>16891205
>Something about channeling positive energy through sound.
BOOM!
Seriously though, positive energy is a terrible thing to power stuff with on a long-term basis. Too much of it makes things explode. Also, while it may be called "positive energy," it's not actually related to "positive emotions" and all that crap. Sounds like it's running off converted sonic energy.

>>16891277
stage-fright?

>>16891262
I hope I'm reflecting the positive side of the internet in this post

>>16891226
First, I'd rather not resort to fighting.
Secondly I haven't actually been able to get a straight answer as to who is their Alpha.

>>16891218
A mix of both, mostly bitten ones I believe.

>>16891232
Yeah no thanks, I don't want to touch silver myself Being a born Were.

>>16891198
What kind of were are you? By your name, I'd guess shark or alligator, I know a wereshark who loves surfing the shark-infested beaches around here, because he gets the waves to himself.

>>16891205
i think wizard is probably right here.
What might work would be utilizing a specialized fae-glamour, the type based upon emotions as power source.
If you can manage to control and stabilize it (no easy task with fae magic), you could get somethign that uses strong positive emotions as power source.

>>16891295
Oh I thought I said, I'm a Were Crocodile, the big kind from Australia.
Its why the 4 who attack me are in hospital while I'm sitting here at home on the internet.

>>16891291
okay, if you live in a western country, you need to contact the authorities.
Unlike pure hereditary weres, infectious ones are controlled by the government, and have to follow strict regulations.

>>16891318
My brother's a Were, was one of them a squirrel?

everytime I see this thread, I imagine I am reading a shadowrun supernatural advice chat room, maybe I'll throw some snippets of previous threads at my players :)

>>16891318
Saltie? I know this were-saltie chick, really sweet girl, but you wouldn't want to get her upset.

Sorry, question for someone who knows more than I do;

Anybody know where to get reliable and unobtrusive fire-protection? Further, whether dragonfire functions like normal fire?

>>16891318
and now your name is both fitting and terrifying. heres where i'd say "good on 'ya, mate", but i fear for crocodile-based injuries in my future, so i shall refrain from actually making such a remark.

>>16891330
Alright I might give it a try.
Been kinda voiding it though cos I know once that happens they'll hate me even more.

>>16891347
If you are thinking what I think you're thinking, I think you should rethink your thoughts.

>>16891288
More like I have no clue what to do.

I keep turning things over in my head, but I have no idea how to sum up a decade of experience doing this shit. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to give a lecture ON. They just want me to say something to create support for the college. Teaching will come later.

I actually really want this thing to happen.. just not with me as part of it. I didn't take kindly to Roland telling me I had no clue what I am doing, despite the evidence to the contrary, but I share some of his views on modern adventurers. It's terribly dangerous, but there is no one to teach the basics. I've managed to keep myself out of trouble with my sour attitude and foul mouth, but a lot of young idiots get wrapped up in things they shouldn't. A lot don't even know what it means to call yourself a modern adventurer. They don't know what they're supposed to be doing. Even if all of them picked up my habit of not being able to stay dead for more than a couple minutes, they really would just make a giant mess of things like Roland suggests.

I'm supposed to sound like I know what I'm doing for long enough to make pumping money into this idea sound like a good idea? I don't even know what I'm doing half the time still. I've been doing this since I was twenty, and I still half to just make the best of terrible situations.

>>16891285
Like I said, he's crazy. Finding strange ways to bring things to life is a bit of a hobby of his. I have nightmares about a visit to his house when I was 8 where the garden hose rose up like a snake and chased me through the yard. My grandpa found me trapped in a tree with it attempting to spray me down, and after bringing me back inside explained how it was somehow powered bu the kinetic energy of the water moving through it.

Gods know if that's actually how he managed to do it, but that hose has never warmed up to me.

>>16891347
Dragonfire honestly depends on the dragon type. Avoid Red Dragonfire, they spit out something highly similar to napalm. Hard to put out and harder to get off.

Honestly, for fire protection I'm not the best person to ask. I'll leave that to a wizard or adventurer to answer.

I got my girlfriend some snake-skin gloves as a joke. Next thing I know she is strangling me with her tail. How do I make it up to her that I was only joking? I'm thinking an electric blanket but I'm open to new suggestions.

>>16891361
Eeh, you've proven yourself stronger than they are, they'll be a LOT more cautious about attacking you, which'll buy you time until the law can deal with them. Plus they're going round infecting and attacking random people, which makes them a public menace.

>>16891380
She has every right to be mad, that's a pretty sick joke.

>>16891365
I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you think I'm thinking.

>>16891377
But it functions like mundane fires, regarding protection?

>>16891380
you... you're actually, really retarded aren't you?

>>16891380
Let's see, you are the one with the Lamia girlfriend, right? If she is a more traditional type of Lamia you might be able to pacify her with a platter of live sterile mice. If she is new age, well I'm at a lost.

>>16891354
Nah mate its cool
I don't go around biting people for no reason.

So guys... I know this is normally really, REALLY bad but um...
Well I fucked up last night. I tried to uh... summon a succubus. And I did. The problem was my binding circle wasn't very good and she broke free.
But instead of going on a rampage all she's done so far is sleep on my couch, I was up all night terrified she's swallow my soul, and made me breakfast this morning.

>>16891380
That was in very poor taste. I'd have done the same thing if I were her.

I'd give her a tail massage to start (tails are like long spines, and get cramps often), then I'd buy her a nice tail-hugging skirt like the one in OP's pic. She'll want to know you think of her as a person, not a snake, and paying loving attention to her tail is a good way of doing that.

>>16891391
If you're not sure what I thought you were thinking, I think that I'm sure you WEREN'T thinking what I thought.

Good job!

Ummm guys,
Pretty sure I pissed off a female spirit summoning hermetic mage, accidentally blew up her bf (Don't ask). Shes probaly going to send a fire spirit to lite my ass. Whats a mundane to do, any form of protection or do I need a mage to stop another mage?

>>16891391
As far as I know for the most part it acts like normal fire. However some species do have an oxidizer in the flaming liquid they spit so it can't be put out by mundane means easily.

>>16891372
WORSE THAN THAT.

If I'm successful, they want me to teach. They want me to be responsible for teaching prospective adventurers how not to get themselves killed. Which is good because I've managed to see, and experience personally, some of the more terrible ways to do that.

I am a terrible role model. Yet it would be an even worse thing to let there be no method of gaining experience harmlessly.

Hm, maybe I should just try to lecture on how absolutely fucked up the current situation is? Rather than impressing people with how much I know about adventuring right, tell them how much I know about adventuring the wrong way. I've seen plenty of it..

>>16891318
Don't see many other Ausfags on here.
You heard they were thinking about amending the laws on "adventurers" again? Some shit about the wording being too strict and causing "legitimate businesses" to be trapped.

>>16891408
You can hire some protection from Mythic Guard Securities Inc., we offer quality protection of locations and personages for a reasonable rate.

>>16891405

I still have no idea what you were talking about, but my boyfriend is a half-dragon. He's very sweet most of the time, but he sometimes has a horrible temper. He's promised to work on it, but I'd prefer to not have to have a fire-resistance spell of my own memorized all the time.

So guys, I'm a dwarf and make a living creating enchanted items (self sweeping brooms, etc.) but have recently learned a little bit about crafting wonderous items. I understand it's a VERY long and difficult process, but my 20th anniversary is coming up with the Mrs. and I want to do somthing specail. I was maybe thinking of an enchanted doo-dad that would enable our house to levitate (we are in kind of a rural area) but I'm not to sure about Canadian law on the subject.
Shes a human by the way, works as a writer.

>>16891403
>made me breakfast this morning.

Damn, she's one smooth operator. That, or you accidentally summoned a Saucecubus, an infernal live-in-chef.

>>16891458
Well, if its anything like American law, you have about 150 ft of play room before having to register a flight path with the Canadian equivalent of the FAA.

>>16891408
Tell her you'll try to get a cleric to bring him back, but that if she harms you it'll be difficult for you to work for the required money.
At least that way she'll probably hold back on anything crippling.
How affordable is a resurrection for the average person these days, anyway? I don't pay much attention to that kind of thing.

>>16891373
I like your grandfather.

>>16891403
Pic related.
In more ways than one, probably.

>>16891458
Pretty sure that, as long as it doesn't hover high enough to impede air traffic, you're golden. If it does, you'll just have to get some of those red blinking lights cell towers have.

>>16891361
let them hate you, if they are attacking people and the gov finds out they will all be shot or locked up in short order.
Infectious were's are not something to joke with, and laws reflect that.

>>16891471
Only if you go above a certain altitude.

>>16891403
Be wary, it's likely she's messing with you deliberately so that you drop your guard.
Let your guard down for a moment and BAM soul giblets.

Or perhaps you're just a lucky SOB and have managed to summon a succubus with more benign intentions than usual, it has happened before after all.

>>16891457
Is he part chromatic or metallic dragon? Because if he's chromatic, I wouldn't trust him if I were you. I lived next door to a dragonborn for a few years, and he was a real self-centered asshole. They also typically have violent tendancies...

>>16891403
you summoned a demon without quad checking your circle. You deserve whatever shit you get.
Still, I'll offer some advice just so you don't wind up screwing over the neighbors.

>>16891458
I've been looking into going to college for magic item creation, I'm already a very good weapon forger. Any tips from an experienced crafter?

>>16891380
I take back what I said about you being insensitive. Just tell me the things your girlfriend does that are adorable or make you love her. I need tips.

I have an issue. A woman fancies me. Like hardcore "destroy your home, kidnap you and take you to the top of a mountain" hardcore. Shes a dragonborn. White dragon heritage. Not sure if any of you understand what that means BUT SHE WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. Its cold. Im currently using my scryorb to communicate. Dont get me wrong, shes drop dead gorgeous but im 3000 miles from home.

... I guess this is another "kidnapped, wat do" post.

>>16891403
>>16891501
Yeah, that can be serious trouble. If you try a banishing spell, she could get angry. Try to see if you can find an enchanter in your area who sells soulstones, or protective totems. That should help if she tries to steal your soul.
Have fun with your new roommate.

>>16891509
dragonborn or half-dragon? Because I have no idea how a dragonborn would actually pull something like that off.
if it's half-dragon, see if you can reach the nearest silver dragon (possibly hard as they will likely be disguised as a humanoid of some sort).

>>16891509
Have you attempted to contact the authorities? In this day and age, dragons are not allowed to just kidnap people like they used to.

>>16891492
He's half-red, but he's a complete gentleman. Not a monster at all, and very kind. I know everyone says it, but I've yet to see any of the 'chromatic' signs, beyond perhaps being a bit possessive. (I've assumed that's the 'dragon' part though, not 'red'.)

As I said, though, he does have a bit of a temper, and I'd like to have some sort of warding against fire, just in case.

Have you guys ever noticed that wizards who are really powerful, tend to have long beards and all new or unexperiances wizards are clean shaven. So is there something that meets in the middle? Because I've been studying for most of my life, and generally I just walk around with stubble.

My familiar (an awakened black cat. Its cliche but its also a classic) also has been moody against this girl I'm dating. Who I'm convinced is a werewolf. So what should I do?

>>16891509
Have you tried hiring from Craig's Adventurer List yet? They might be able to solve some problems. Barring that, have you tried the police?

>>16891436
Yeah I heard a bit about that, but I've never really payed much attention to polotics. Especially since I've been stateside the last few months for study.

>>16891536
Yeah I only keep a close eye on it because my parents run a farm out in the country, and I think they'd qualify as a "lair" under the new law changes.

>>16891467
>>16891479
>>16891491
>>16891501
>>16891520
>>16891520
So I just need to be careful? And probably buy a holy symbol or something...
But god-DAMN if those weren't the best eggs and bacon I'd ever had. And I don't know how she get the pancakes to THICK!

>>16891509
If you have a scrying orb and know how to use it, you should be able to get out of the situation on your own.

I'd help, just for the amusement of messing with a White Dragonborn, but, well, those from the forums know of my problems with my scrying orb...

>>16891547
If you get a holy symbol I would keep it out of sight, it may antagonise her otherwise.

It may be worth straight up asking her why she's acting like she is, who knows, she may tell you.
And it is a fair question given the circumstances.

Thanks guys, she loves flying and such, so I hope she'll like it. I did realize a few problems
A) We would need air-to-ground transport, this wouldn't be a problem if I knew about teleport spells, anybody know of a good wizard in the Winnipeg area?
and
B) Kids, I could probably set up some feather-fall charms around the house, but the components needed are quite rare around here (IE: A dragons claw, seriously there are almost NO dragons in Central Canada, I looked to import some but the prices were enormous!)

>>16891545
oh damn, that could suck.

>>16891547
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

>You gonna get seduced

>>16891533
Wait until full moon, of course. If she doesn't shift then, the chance of infection isn't as bad if she's the kind of were-beast that can shift by will. Besides, how is it a problem? In these days, there are plenty of potions that can reduce the effects of, or even temporarially immunize yourself from were-bites.

>>16891547
Exactly. However, having another person to help with the rent may not be a bad idea. Try to discretely find if she sustains herself on soul energy, or life energy. One will kill you, the other might just make you tired.

>>16891577
I know that, but the problem is I'm allergic to wolves and dogs. Like I'll sneeze fire-balls when I'm near one. My medication only helps a little bit, but if theres dog hair or anything like that around I'll end up burning houses down. And I can't afford that.

>>16891547
In my professional opinion, you should probably ask her what was in those pancakes.

>>16891563
This man is right. This isn't some new girl fresh from hell, shes a smooth operator who's been around a long time. Knows that seduction comes in many forms.

Your advantage is that, if you resist her, shes just going to try harder because of pride. You could have a very efficient live in servant, so long as you're thinking with the right head.

>>16891590
If you live anywhere in the U.S. I have a solution. I know a Wizard up in Chicago who makes talismans of warding that actually repel pet dander and hair. He goes by the name of Illucildor. Look him up if you live in the area.

>>16891547
>And I don't know how she get the pancakes to THICK!
>NotSureIfWant.jpg

>>16891533
Actually, wizards who are really powerful tend to change forms a lot, so beards are optional. Though I do wear one whenever I'm in an appropriate form (and sometimes not. Bearded tentacle monster, away!).
As for the cat thing, check why it doesn't like her, and if the reason isn't good, tell it to suck it up. The best thing about devoted familiars.

>>16891599
It could also just be that she was tired of being cooped up in hell all the time or being ping ponged around by summons. She might just be crashing at your place until her "vacation" is over.

>>16891507
One of the best pieces of advice I can give: practice practice practice!
You will probably never get an enchanting right the first time for your first few months, don't let it get you down. Theres good money to be made, and you have quite a large range of options (basic sparkle trinkets, helpful things like pencilless journals or self organizing containers to full blown military appliclations, like pocket dimension-magazines for weaponry)

>>16891532
>perfect gentleman
>has you in fear for your life

Reeeeeally...

>>16891614
Is he in the yellow pages?

>>16891638
Look up Illucildor's Charms and Trinkets. Unfortunately, he's currently on vacation to the fairie realm, so you might not be able to contact him for a week or so.

>>16891654

Alright then.

So anyone else here studying Chaos and Order magic? I know some people only choose on or the other but I decided to do both.

Awakened Giant Spider here. I Work at a police station, and I just got transferred. My new partner is a real badass, who apparently once took down a crook by jumping off the back of a dragon, dodged six spells on the way down, and spin kicked the wizard in the face. Got off with just a sprained ankle to. He's also a dwarf.
Now, the problem is that he has a very serious case of arachnophobia, and is I mentioned earlier, i am an awakened giant spider. I should not need to explain any further.
What do i do?

>>16891532


>>16891634 here.

You should also be warned that whatever 'possessiveness' he shows is just the tip of the iceberg. About two thirds of it you will never notice until it's actually challenged.

If you leave him for another man, I don't expect that other man to survive. And possibly yourself.

>>16891560
>>16891563
>>16891577
>>16891595
>>16891599
Jesus! She's... she's cleaning my house now!
I asked why and she just said "Because it LOOKS like a bachelor is living here. I'll bet this pizza box has been here AT LEAST a week!"
When I asked her what she was on about, she just shrugged and started vacuuming. I don't OWN a vacuum!

>>16891675
He's a dwarf? Bring him a good beer. It is literally that easy.

>>16891675
Be yourself and wait for the inevitable Wacky Buddy Cop Show?

>>16891675
The fact they put the two of you together is a serious failure on the part of the logistics department. In all truth, I'd put in a formal request to be partnered up with someone else, because there's no way the two of you will be able to function effectively as a team.

Or as >>16891693 said, you could always bring him a cask of a nice, dark Lager.

>>16891691
Let her go about it. Pretend shes not even there. Don't let her smell your fear.

>>16891706
Heh, given what he's already told us, isn't it a bit late for that?
She is likely well aware that he is terrified of her.

>>16891706
Do be afraid though. Being afraid of her will help keep you from getting attracted,

By the way, does anyone here live in the 513 area? Payday is next week, but I was thinking of picking up some moonleaf, if anyone doesn't mind hanging out with a pyrokinetic.

>>16891691
>"Because it LOOKS like a bachelor is living here."

She just straight up implied that you are no longer a Bachelor.

Call me when you two lovebirds set a wedding date.

Dohohohohoho

>>16891691

She was probably a succubus who was intended to appear to a Drow male. You have no idea how erotic the idea of a servile woman is.

>>16891691

Maybe she's off the clock. I've heard that a lot of demons these days ply their infernal trade as careers rather than defining lifestyles. I saw that in a brochure, though, so it could be more propaganda.

Alternatively, you could have an ancient succubus whose lifespan numbers in the millions of years who is very very very bored of the infernal grind. Kind of a mid-life crisis for immortals, if you will.

>>16891739
That's it then. You are a dead man. Take solace in the fact that at least you'll go out better than most of us.

>>16891654
Wait, Illucildor is still in the business? I went to school with that guy, hey next time you see him tell him old GruffBeard says hello!

>>16891631
Thanks for the advice! I've been worried that I'm not good enough, but I guess it does take hard work to get good at something.

Got any recommendations for crafting colleges in North America?

>>16891691
Theorys i can think up, just off the top of my head.
1. She sees you as to pathetic to drain.
2. you're hallucinating.
3. You REALLY fucked up the circle and summoned something completely different.
4. And this one is a long shot, She has taken up some kind of bet that she can make somebody a somewhat pathetic (No offence, but you tried to summon a succubi and didn't quadruple check the seal) bachelor ladies man in X amount of days.
5. Did you know that Succubi get what basically amounts to an eternal paid vacation if they are married?

>>16891691
Shes either Terrible at her job, or terrific at it.

NECROMANCY. just recently picked it up. meeting in those shadowy covens are quite fun.

>>16891706
>>16891718
>>16891727
Oh yeah I'm afraid of her! Although the apartment smells a little like Sulphur now. Like a match head? That and woodsmoke. I love those smells... Anyway. I checked for fire, or to see is she's using my apartment to summon more, but I think the smells are just her.
>>16891739
I met her LAST NIGHT! I only know her name from a book I found...
>>16891752
>>16891753
>>16891756
>>16891768
>>16891774
Man, don't tell me that! It's not like I'm a virgin or a TOTAL slob! I keep my bathroom clean at least!
Is that... is that Pinesol?

>>16891758
Heh, you know the guy? I met him when I lived up North, and I was looking for something to help control my pyrokinetic abilities during my teenage years, when I first discovered them.

I always thought it was weird that he decided to make a living off of enchanting trinkets, instead of taking his career further and using his skills to make Wonderous Relics.

>>16891783
Be careful with that crowd, man. You'll end up hanging around a ton of shady Liches, vampires, and Greater Daemons. Besides, you'll never be able to get the smell of rotting flesh and brimstone out of your clothes.

>>16891739
Call me paranoid, but to me, she just straight up implied he's about to disappear and she wants it to look like he did so of his own free will.

>>16891761
Well, there is a majority dwarf school that focus' on smithing and enchanting, although they probably won't turn you down if you've got good skill or prepare somthing of quality to show to the directors beforehand. It's in the rockies, a quick search for "Dwarven School of Smuthing and Smelting" should get you it.
Oh, and don't worry about being allienated, a young dwarf loves nothing more than a pretty girl who can work a forge!

>>16891634
>>16891685

How dare you! He would do no such thing!

Really, I can't see how people keep going off about such things. Yes, he's half chromatic, but he's still a person! I would hope that merits some basic decency.

If you must know, the reason for the precaution is that he's been having trouble with his family recently, and it's left his temper worse then usual. He's the one afraid he'll lose his temper and he asked me to look into some form of constant protection.

I think I may take him up on the offer of commissioning a ring for me. Most of the stuff I've been able to find is either gaudy or boring.

>>16891783
Try not to call it necromancy in front of other people. Whenever I have to talk about what I do, I tell them I'm in "Post-mortal Relations."

>>16891810
Well then, I guess it's not as bad as it seems! If he gets "Disappeared," at least he won't be married!

>>16891796
Well if nothing else, things should be interesting.
And you are getting a clean apartment out of the deal.
You just need to find out what she wants out of this.

>>16891699
I hear he has tried this. Apparently its going to take a month to process.

>>16891830
I had a friend in college, a neophyte vampire Necromancer who would tell girls that he was into "NECK- Romance, eh?"

How no one ever staked him I'll never know.

>>16891830
...Necrophilia?

>>16891836
He can be married in the hells, and he won't have any friends there, or know any of the local pubs.

I hate paladins.

Well not all paladins, but those who serve underneath the Abrahamic Faith.

I'm half-angel. Which classifies me as a Nephilim. However actual Nephilim, where giants born underneath cherubs who gave mankind knowledge and where punished for that. While I do have a voracious apetite, I'm viewed as a menace simply because other nephilim where great warriors who needed to be wiped out by the flood. So they suspect I'll be some anarchist who will destroy the world. So they punish me for something I haven't done. Which causes me think about actually doing something which might cycle what they want me not to do.

Hells Bells, its like I'm stuck in a Greek Tragedy. Anyway what do you guys think I should do about this? Report them to their superiors and file them under speciems? Fight back?

>>16891856
Personally I would have broken him, then nailed his twitching, gibbering body up on the walls in such a way as to spell out "Very punny"

>>16891861
I vote "Write a heart-rending tell-all story about overcoming prejudice"

>>16891822
As I mentioned to several others before, Illucildor is the guy you're looking for. He can definately make you a Ring of natural Armor, or even a Ring of Warding.

>>16891861
Abrahamic Paladins are typically a pain in the ass. If you want to avoid being sucked into their on-goings, I suggest marrying into a family of Faeries. Since their realm is outside of normal space-time, you will almost never have to deal with the mortal or astral realms.

>>16891812
That sounds great, I'll start working on something to show off my talents and send in the form!

So it's dwarves who like pretty forge girls, eh? I'll have to look into that.

Let me get some opinions on something more personal.

Okay so I'm a nice tough adventurer that cusses and smokes like a chimney because, even if it kills me, I'll just wake up fine a minute later. Not all of you already know that I also have a condition that sticks me somewhere between being a man and a woman. I have all the girl bits in my pants, but I'm quite heavy on the androgyny. I can pass for a man or woman very easily, and I certainly have enough of either hormone to match. I've lived as a woman my whole life, and my condition only reared it's head later in my life. Since I've learned of it, I've stubbornly lived as a girl.

Thing is, I've sometimes wondered if it wouldn't be better to let go and live as a guy. It's a big fight to keep in a state fit be called girly. Even putting on a tad too much weight and that's it. I don't put on weight in a way flattering for a girl. I've been considering it more lately.. and I wonder if I shouldn't just do it. Even just to see what it's like. End the debate with myself once and for all. Just try being a man for a while and see how it goes.

The thing is.. even if I tell myself it would just be temporary if I don't like it.. I don't know. Something about the prospect scares me.

>>16891888
No offense to the Fae but their morality system is strange even to me. While people tend to view the world in black in white, they view the world in orange and purple. I s'pose I could live with them, but the age of a Nephilim hasn't been recorded. This generation is the first one to have legal half-angel in thousands of years.

And yet half-demons are as common as hell (pun intended) and yet paladins barely bother them.

Sometimes I can see why the morning star rebelled.

>>16891856
now really I think that sort PUNishment is a tad harsh.

>>16891836
>>16891848
Alright, she's int he shower right now. I don't know if this is a ploy or something, but she closed and locked the door behind her.
My apartment is the cleanest it's been since I moved in, something that smells like pot roast is in the oven, and there is a foot bath warming int he living room. I'm freaking out now guys.

>>16891691
I've seen something like this, and >>16891753 could actually be right. My college roommate fucked up the same way you did. He died, of course, but the succubus decided to stick around for a while. Took to making me breakfast and cleaning house, too. I figure some succubi are turned on when they meet potential partners that can't have their life-force drained, 'cause we've been faithfully married for three years now. If you can make it work, succubus wife is best wife.

Really pays off having a racial immunity to life-draining abilities, doesn't it?

>>16891929
have you directly asked her why she's doing all this?

>>16891920
Half-celestials of all types are quite common, and our friend RighteousHuggings seems to be working on producing more.
Personally, I've never liked them. Celestials and the like make me itch.

>>16891929
Oh I've heard of this! Succubi are like normal human woman. Their great...until your marry them and then they turn into demons.

>>16891911
Don't got into forging for the purpose of being eyecatching. Seriously, you give all women a bad name when you undertake a task for the express purpose of having guys fawn over you. You should go into forging because you want to forge and you are good at it, not because you'll receive all the attention from a couple dozen guys desperate to impress you.

>>16891929
My advice: Just take a nap. If she wants you dead, no amount of worrying, or panicking is going to save you. Since you summoned her, she will always no where you are, so running is useless. If she doesn't want you dead, no problem. If she does, you're fucked (pun intended) but no use worrying over it.

>>16891929
She LOCKED the door? As in, she isn't setting up an embarrassment gambit?

This chick just might be on the level, or at least that what she wants you to think. If she asks for something, don't go in there.

When she gets out, man up and ask her what she's doing.

>>16891961
He could go get a professional to banish her. Hell, if she follows him around, some professionals would do it for him for free just to have a demon deliver itself to their door for the enslaving.

>>16891961
This
You said you havn't slept due to fear for your soul etc etc

Have a nap. You'll probably get woken up eventually.

>>16891942
Yes from lower tier, but my father is a Seraphim. The only one permitted onto Earth was the Morning Star, or Lucifer. The White God kept a tight grip on the Seraphs and made sure none of them breed.

>>16891951
I am into forging, and I'm good at it. It doesn't hurt to think about guys who will appreciate what I can do and will be into the same things.

>>16891822
Face it, lady. He's scared of accidentally destroying one of his possessions in a fit of rage. He'd never incinerate his favorite bookcase, either. If he did, though, he'd just replace it, and that's what he'll do with you the moment he deems it necessary.

Reds especially. Greedy and fickle. You're setting yourself up for becoming a minor tragedy. You've got it just as bad as the fool who got himself a succubus, and like him, you don't realize it yet.

>>16891911
Most of em, yeah. Specaily the ones attending there because forging is their life and "exotic" races arn't common, heck even a plain old human is saying somthing around there. If what you've said about your skill is true, you won't have any problems getting into it, good luck to you, but look out for professor Pickiron (protip: NEVER make anything out of average iron for his class)

>>16891995
Except that he does and is panicking, and plenty of dragonblooded and half dragons don't conform to the dragon part of them, especially part-chromatics, since they tend not to have much influence from the dragon parent (blues aside, of course).

>>16891929

Do you know which region of Hell you summoned her from? Or if it was even from Hell to begin with?

The fire and brimstone smell suggests an infernal origin, to be sure. However, there are TONS of demons that have their sole defining physical features as looking human, but with horns/wings/tail.

At any rate, be on guard. No sapient being would play the role of impromptu housewife/housekeeper without an ulterior motive.

>>16892013
Erm, that is, the idiot with the succubus does realise how fucked he probably is and is panicking.

>>16892023
>>16892028
I'm telling you, if the succubus can't drain his life, he'll be just fine.

You guys worry too much.

>>16892028
>>16891929

Well, I'm stumped.

Like the wizard said, either you're ten different types of fucked (tee hee)... or...

Or your new guest is some sort of weird demonic slacker. Like some sort of demonic counter-culture hipster or something. Or maybe a demonic equivalent of an extremist feminist? Instead of seducing men and stealing their souls (as the infernal culture has pushed on succubi for eons), she instead takes care of them and cleans up their act. But with no sex. Ever. I dunno man, I'm just tossing out random ideas now.

>>16892003
Thanks for the tip, I've never worked with anything but steel, brass, and iron before, what other metals I should look into?

>Sitting on library steps reading a book
>A fucking SPHINX swoops down out of the sky and challenges me to a friendly riddle duel
>I accept, because why not?
>She smirks and proclaims that she gets to go first.
>"What's long and hard and filled with seamen?"
>I turn bright red, and stammer out the obvious answer
>"Nay, cretin, 'tis a submarine!"
>I burst into treats, spaghetti falls out of pockets, ect ect

Goddamnit guys, I feel like the dumbest shit to ever walk the earth.

>>16892170
To be fair, if you had said submarine, she would have said the answer was penis. You couldn't win.

>>16892170
The obvious response would be "Or a ship, or a pub. You suck at riddles" then turn into a pixie and hide. Of course, those who can't shapeshift might not be able to do that last step, so replace with "RUN AWAY!" as needed.

So for my master-piece in construct creation, I've decided to go in the vein of Japan and create a giant War-Forge. Nothing too big of-course, maybe like four stories. To control it will be a network of golems, and maybe an efreet to power the thing.

>>16892185
Who ever heard of a sphinx telling dirty jokes instead of deep philosophical riddles, though?

Was I trolled by the Sphinx equivalent of a teenage delinquent?

>>16892194
Grandpa?

>>16892206
...Huh? I'm not a grandpa. Atleast I don't think I am. There was that time in Cuba. Gah now you got me confused.

>>16892201
You'd be surprised how common it is. However, I'm affiliated with the church of Sharess, so perverted sphinxes might be disproportionately common in my area.

>>16892013
Thank you. I don't know where people like that get off on their prejudice, but it's nice to see that there are still some reasonable people left. Perhaps
>>16891995
is just a jealous Metallic.

Actually... I do confess, he did almost burn the other day- I've never seen him so angry. (I have little to no experience with other dragons, but his mother does seem to take a significant interest in his life, something he seriously resents her for.) He regained control of himself almost immediately, and most relieved I was unharmed.

Incidentally, disrobing-via-incineration is very interesting, and I'd recommend it if anyone gets the chance.

>>16892224
>Me
>Reasonable
>LaughingFaces.jpg

>>16891939
>>16892067
I have just been informed that normal humans are in fact vulnerable to life-draining.

Well, then this will likely end in pain. Tough luck, buddy.

>>16891985
>>16891941
>>16891961
Alright... alright, sleep is a good thing... Especially after that meal...
Anyway, she still won't tell me what she's up to. But she's wearing my clothes. Or at least one of my shirts as pajamas. I;m in my room and she's watching TV in the living room. Football I think.

>>16892282
If she's wearing knee-high socks, I'd say run man. That sounds like the perfect girl, even if she is a demon.

>>16892282
i'm with the whole 'be wary, canny, and careful' plan, but damn that sounds like a sweet deal.

>>16892282
Go watch football with her. See what happens.

>>16892194
I will recommend that you do not create those golems lightly and to allow them self determination as needed. Otherwise me and you are going to need a little talk.

>>16892296
>>16892307
>>16892319
I'll uh... I'll be going then. Wish me luck.
Man... I have a bible in here somewhere, I should put it under my pillow...

>>16892417
>>16892319
>>16892307
>>16892296
What could he have summoned that WASN'T a Succubus? Because this seems too good to be true.

>>16892457
Maybe someone Upstairs is stepping up their game.

>>16892224
'jealous metallic'? Please, lady. You may be proud of your bad-boy half-dragon boyfriend, but you're just deluding yourself. He's just using you to get back at that mother of his, who's probably most displeased that her son is wasting his time on you. You're a trinket that caught his eye, nothing more, and if you stop to think about it, you might realize that he treats you as nothing more than a glorified call-girl. Offering to buy you a ring of fire protection, I bet he's been 'courting' you quite expensively, and he probably gives you a 'gift' whenever he sees you. It may not be plain money, but the meaning is the same. Back out before it's too late.

>>16892457
Any number of Devils and Demons have the ability to take human or near human form. Hell, it doesn't even have to be female.

>>16892417
HAHA! She finally spilled the beans! She CAN'T hurt me!
I mean, yes I screwed up my circle, and pretty badly too, but apparently the "keeps me from harm" part was done perfectly, and is still active. She has was looks like this Tattoo on her left arm that's the remnants of that part of the circle.
But I messed up the part that binds her to me and my will. So... she has the freedom to come and go as she pleases and has her own free will.
... So why is she still here?

>>16892417
That won't help. Go ahead and offer her a spot next to you when you go to sleep. If you're gonna die, might as well get it over with.

>>16892529
Slummin' it with a mundane?

>>16892529
You haven't dismissed her and possibly fucked up that part too. She may be permanently stuck.

Assuming she' telling the truth. I sure hope you aren't believing her.

>>16892558
Well, if he's feeling suspicious, he could always head down to the local wizard and order a Scroll of Truth Divination or the Equivelant.

>>16892558
She's stronger then I am and can drain my soul. If she wasn't being honest, why hasn't she torn me to ribbons yet?
>>16892539
>>16892542
She wants to sleep on the couch tonight. This goes against everything I've ever heard when it comes to succubus es.

>>16892529
Don't trust this. That is not how circle magic works. She's probably just setting you up.

Although admittedly not all succubi are evil. Apparently some religious chroniclers (Mapes, in particular, in the De Nugis Curialium) attributed Pope Sylvester II's success to a succubus by the name of Meridiana, with whom he was associated for a long period of years since his early career.

>>16892594
Because she realizes you are unimaginative and careless enough to be prefect material for manipulation. Duh. You aren't her plan. Something else is. I bet she's waiting for you to start introducing her to your friends as the "tame succubus- don't worry, she won't hurt anyone."

As a former genie, I know what its like to constantly be called on to forcibly use my powers to grant wishes. Some of which are heinous and others for some reason include baklava..

Anyway, maybe she enjoys this new found freedom. Talk to her, see what shes like. No sense in wasting this oppurtunity. My last master, Sylvia young college professor summoned me and used her third wish to grant me freedom. We've been dating ever since.

>>16892594
Offer her the bed, /after changing the sheets/ and take the couch yourself. It's a gentlemanly thing to do, and may impress her. It's also being a good host. It's up to her if she accepts the offer or not.

>>16892604
The tattoo LOOKS like that part of the circle though... And I did do it in my own blood. It was pretty similar to how I saw it in the book. I mean, I made a few modifications, but the principal should be sound.
>>16892616
>>16892614
I only have the one set, but I washed them this week. Anyway, I let her have the bed tonight. She just said thanks and went to sleep.
You know... despite the horns, tail, and wings, she doesn't look at all demonic when she sleeps.

>>16892649
Wait... what? Making a circle in blood is old, OLD school. Most people just use chalk. And it shouldn't manifest itself UPON the summonings.
Where did you get this ritual?

>>16892649
dangerzone, bro. don't watch her when she's sleeping. that's creepy.

anywho, just let her be and learn more about her (and her motives for sticking around). also, don't be the one to make the first move if you want to get physical. just friendly advice.

>>16892649
Let me guess, you used a multi-layered circle?

My dad does magic tattoo inscribing. Generally they cost a couple hundred but I get all mine for free. Makes those complicated spells a breeze. But I gotta say it hurts more when the tattoo comes off during the spell then actually getting it.

>>16892669
I was only checking on her! Her wings have this cool feather patter on them. Like, in the skin and you can only see them if the light is right.
>>16892683
>>16892667
I connected the layers at key points. The connectors looked kinda like a compass rose.
And I used a basic summoning circle as my template, and added to it from what was a more advanced circle I found in this book. I found the book itself in an old chest at a garage sale. The whole chest was $40. Most of it was crap, out of date and near worthless, but some of it was nice.
The book I used was an old, beat up cloth bound book. It had this medallion in it, one side was a Stag, the other a Raven, and I used that in the ritual.
Come to think of it, I haven't seen the medallion since the ritual.

>>16892721
Yup, you clearly screwed up one circle while getting the other one right.

She's probably bound to this plane now, unless you remove the rest of the circle, but if you do that she'll probably kill you.

Looks like you're stuck with her

>>16892721
Oh, you poor dumb bastard.

She's literally a fallen angel. Those once were classic angel wings, and that pattern is all that's left of them.

Run. Leave your house. Leave your possessions. If you don't, you will someday look back on this point and wish you had, provided there is enough of you left to make that wish.

>>16892721
That doesn't sound like ANY summoning circle I've ever heard about. And you did it in your own BLOOD?
Wait, what do her horns look like?

>>16892740
Fallen angels aren't that bad, my grandmother is a fallen angel and she's been happily married to my grandfather for the past 70 years.

She tells weird stories and is pretty creepy at times, but she's still a loving grandma

>>16892749
He made a multi-layered blood-scribed circle jimmy-rigged from complex parts and simple parts.

I'm surprised he had the skill to make such a cricle yet still managed to fuck up somehow

>>16892766
It's not Fallen Angels you always have to worry about...

There's a lot of bitterness left over both sides from the Celestial War...

There's also different kinds of Fallen. Some are like you've described, others... you don't want to run into the others.

>>16892749
Kinda... skeletal? Well, they look more like bone then a Ram's horns. They still curve back though.
And I only used blood for the protection circle. To give it a little boost.
>>16892739
The circle I drew is gone. not even a blood stain. Except for what she has on her body anyway.
>>16892740
You have to be shitting me. That's... Something THAT powerful would have blown RIGHT through ALL of my circles. Not just most of them. Besides, her name doesn't sound at all angelic!

>>16892779
The fact that ANYTHING even came through...
>>16892785
>And I only used blood for the protection circle. To give it a little boost.
Well THAT makes things make a little more sense... and yet it just adds ANOTHER layer. Multiple materials used for circle construction makes things more complex and difficult! If you get yourself some real schooling, you might just be some kind of Summoning Savant.

>>16892785
I'm not saying powerful, I'm saying knowledgable. She may very well have been around since the very foundations of the universe were laid. She knows the strings to pull to make a mortal like you or I do exactly what she wants, and merely 'not being able to harm you' certainly won't stop her. She can manipulate you to whatever end she wants.

Naturally, of course, she's going to persuade you otherwise. I don't think your odds are too good.

There not that bad.

Then again my dad and my mom met in a sort of Angel Dating program. Angels where getting restless so the white god finally relented because he didn't want another rebellion.

>>16892800
I uh... I also carved a layer of the circles. Into the flood. That's gone too, by the way.
>>16892808
Am I really this far up shit-creek? I mean... really?

>>16892808
Hmm... wait, we could be overestimating her.
She might not be a fallen angel.

Could be the descendant of one though... There aren't that many fallen angels around, but some did beget a few offspring, (I'm not talking about the Nephillim, that's a different cup of tea.)

That would explain the name, and the fact that she didn't escape the circle outright.

Hey guys, do any of you know how poisonous scorpionfolk stings are? I've been dating a cute scorpion girl, and I finally got her into bed tonight, but she stung me in the throes of passion. It doesn't hurt, but it's a strange purple color. Help?

>>16892830
My advice may have been a bit excessive, but was probably your best hope for not being her willing marionette for the remainder of your life.

It depends on what you want. If you don't mind that, no, I suppose you aren't 'that far up shit-creek'.

>>16892833
Well all half-angels tend to be lumped as Nephilim. Plus its a cool sounding name. Even if it does equate to giant warriors who ate everything in sight..

>>16892721
Raven and Stag? Lets see here....
Ravens are both Benefactos and Tricksters to humans. There are A LOT of Raven stories out there. Most are associated with War and Wisdom.
As for the Stag, well the Stag King is a god of fertility, life, animals, wealth, and the underworld. And divine male force.
First off, when you get a chance you MAY want to check her nethers for surprises.
Second... no never mind. It's impossible to CREATE an angelic or demonic being.

>>16892838
What type of scorpionfolk? Different scorpionfolk have different toxins in their venom

>>16892838
Try asking her. She'd probably know, or know how to find out more accurately than we could.

>>16892859
Look at what he did with his summoning circle, I wouldn't rule anything out as "impossible" for him.

>>16892859
>>16892877
You two couldn't possible be insinuating that be MADE a divine being? That kind of thing is only possible by gods!
Besides, if she was just created fully formed, where would her culinary knowledge come from? How would she know to wear clothing or how to operate a television?

>>16892889
I would concur that that's impossible. I'm very skeptical, but concede that I've HEARD of 'hijacking' divine beings on occasion, but doubt that's what OP did.

>>16892889

Perhaps she took in the knowledge from her surroundings? Televsion air-waves, radio air-waves? Hell if we count energy, she probably got her knowledge from the internet.

>>16892839
>>16892859
>>16892877
>>16892889
You guys are starting to give me too much credit. I mean... nobody has this find of power. There's no way I could have beefed things up enough to get a Fallen Angel or Angel to come, and making things isn't really something a summoning circle could do.
Can they?

>>16892877
How does a CARVED circle vanish anyway? This guy is doing all kinds of things that he , or ANYONE, shouldn't be able to do.
I'd love to take a crack at what he did. If we could replicate some of these results we might change some of the fundamental Magical Theories!

No. Creating an Abrahamic Angel is impossible for a mortal, or for most divine creatures outside of that faith. It's just how it works. YHWH is the sole force of creation for the Abrahamic, just as the Grecian pantheon has sole dominion over their sphere.

However, as has been said, Angels are no longer celibate as they once were. They can breed, but it is done carefully.

But a Mortal cannot "Create" a Angel from nothing. It would require them aquiring Godhead.

What OP may have done is accidentally summoned something else than a Succubus. You don't always get fish in a fishing net, as the saying goes.

>>16892889
a) Bullshit, you don't need to be a god to make a divine being.
b) Many divine beings have knowledge important for their portfolio or the like, whether they acquired it themselves or not.
However, you are probably right about him not creating her, it's more likely that the amulet was tied to an already-existing being, though whether it was a prison, an anchor for "her" existence, something of significance to "her" or what...

Also, summoning guy, you are what we wizards refer to as "too stupid to live."
Try finding out what "she" wants, though don't believe anything "she" says.

>>16892953
>>16892924
You have to admit, even though he was an IDIOT, he DID manage some pretty damn impressive stuff.

>>16892936
>No. Creating an Abrahamic Angel is impossible for a mortal, or for most divine creatures outside of that faith.
Well that's great, but the vast majority of devils and demons have absolutely nothing to do with the Abrahamic faith, and the same for the vast majority of angels, so who gives a shit?

Ah crap.
Well you guys, I'm going to sleep on the couch now. If I don;t wake up int he morning my soul is gone.

>>16892979
I assure you, if your soul "goes," you'll have to be very lucky indeed not to wake up.
Ahahahaha.

>>16892976
Depends on what you define as an Angel. I was describing the Abrahamic variety.

Other than that, it depends on the pantheon in question.

>>16892976
I'm pretty sure the only Angels that exist are Abrahamic.

Now if you said divine beings...

>>16892766 Here

When my grandmother tells me that I should "find a girl an angel's descendant deserves" what do you think she means?

>>16893038
it means your eventual spouse will NEVER be good enough fro your grandma.

>>16893038
It means you need to find one that's good enough in bed.

You'll have to try out a lot of women to find one.

>>16893061
I was afraid of that...
But I'm more afraid that she'll bring in some demon princess or something for me.

>>16893020
Given that the person in question was trying to summon a succubus with an artefact with symbols on it that are, as far as I know, pretty much meaningless for the Abrahamic faith, and then you lot come in and start telling him about how it "must be such and such and cannot be this and so on" because the Abrahamic faith only allows these... Well.

>>16893030
You are so utterly wrong it's hilarious.
I'm tempted to bind a Solar and send it around to give you a lecture on morality.

>>16893076
Oh god I pray that's not the case, that would require sleeping with girls without being in a romantic relationship with them, I don't think I could do that at all

>>16893101
No it doesn't, it just means you'll be able to get a lot of practice on how to dump someone without hurting their feelings.

I recommend pretending to be gay and letting your grandmother find out. It should be funny. For someone.

>>16893112
Uhg, you're probably right.
The worst part is that if she does want me to find a girl who can "please" me she'll probably be sitting in my mind when we *ahem* "get it on" in order to judge potential partners.

>>16893131
Oh man it is so hilarious to watch a person of angelic descent attempt to talk about sleeping with multiple women. Thank you /tg/.

>>16893097
Well, you've got me there. I probably should've been thinking about the possibility that it wasn't Abrahamic...

In my defense, it's late, I'm tired, (not much of an excuse, I know) and to be quite honest, I have no clue what OP summoned, created or whatever.

I do know that it is impossible for a mortal to create an Abrahamic Angel, (to be specific for the sake of nonconfusion, lets call them the Malakhim.) If only because this is the faith works.

(As far as I know, Deities are initially created, and then powered by belief and faith.They may never fade away completely, but they do weaken without belief. I could be entirely wrong. I'm not a trained priest or divinologist.)

I've been guessing as far as to what he summoned. Could be anything, nobody knows for certain. Somebody suggested a Fallen Angel, which we all took to have specific connatations, and we started discussion from there.

We're all probably quite wrong and the summoned one may be something else entirely.

>>16893229
A god that no-one believes in is horrendously weak, but alive. A god that nobody knows about at all is dead

>>16893097
Try that and it wont be coming back.

A solar is a divine being by the way. Not an actual angel.

>>16891052

Here's an interesting question, guys. Now, I've been studying to be a Wizard at the Academy; And I've found out that the top-scorer, thus far, is a Sorcerer. Is that even legal? I mean, shouldn't he get disqualified for, well, cheating?

I've spent two years reading through books and huffing mercury fumes, and I'm up to Scorching Rays. The other guy gets full marks on every practical subject, every time.

>>16893323

I disagree.
Being naturally talented is not cheating.

>>16893339

Yes, but my point is- He doesn't *need* to study. It's in his blood. And it kind of messes up the grade curve for everyone else.

>>16893323
Welcome to the real world outside your study. The world isn't fair and you shouldn't expect fairness.

But calling it cheating? Sorcerer's have a more dangerous form of magic. Loss of control during casting is a lot more dangerous because they're using their own bodies as direct conduits of power from inside rather than from full on magic rituals. That person is not only born with a great talent but has learned to control that talent and studied exactly what they can do and how to do it without killing themselves. It is mortally dangerous for them to fail a spell depending on what it is they try to cast.

'Cheating' indeed. Death perhaps.

I guess the person born with a natural talent for languages, who then hones that talent by learning and using languages is cheating as well when they get ahead of their peers.

>>16893323
(sweet mother this is still going)
what kind of bizarre magic academy has a flat average score for 'magiciness' or whatever?
It rare to see a sorcerer actually bother to get a formal education int he arcane arts, so I can help but give the guy props in my head.

>>16893349
what are they grading on?
I did my studies at a big uni that taught magic in addition to pretty much everything else, and my degree is in magical theory. So I might not have been taught the same way you were, but I can't imagine sorcerous talent would help that much in 'summoning circle construction', 'alchemistry', or 'runes and rituals'

Uhm h...hello?

I was wondering, I found this is my human boyfriend's study...

Being a Huli Jing was something I didn't think he knew about.

Is this a bad thing? I hope he doesn't call me his little kitsune or whatever... fucking japanese.

>>16893458
>Uhm h...hello?
I already want to kill you
>fucking japanese.
>going from shy/nervous to opinionated and hateful in one post
Attention whore confirmed.

>>16893458
protip: politely confront him about it, or give him 'the talk' -- tell him what you are, and all the little details that entails, also, pointing out that yo are NOT a kitsune and that this is a Very Bad Thing To Say To You will likely get the point across.

>>16893474
serously, being up-front and honest is the easiest answer to most situations. not to mention it throws your enemies through a loop.

>>16893458
>Kitsune
>Huli-jing
Samething with different name.

>>16893472

Isn't 'Huli Jing' in fact, Chinese?

>>16893495
Researched

Wow almost everything in Japanese traditional culture isnt japanese originally.

>>16893485
>>16893474

Sorry about that, just makes me angry.

And yeah I probably should just talk to him, but the last three times I've done that, someone's had to pull me off of the folks... My Kumiho friend has the same problem, it's like, "All you fox spirits look alike to us humans." It sucks, and has resulted in more than one... misunderstanding.

>>16893517
>Kumiho friend has the same problem
Because it's all the same creature anyway?
China -> Japan -> Korea -> Repeat at China. This is the cycle of East Asian culture.

>>16893517
Put it this way, Eastern Fox Spirits, are for the most part, hard to tell apart for someone raised in the west. You might have less trouble in your home culture, at least due to their being some background knowledge at hand there.

It'd be like us asking you to identify the various crow spirits of the native tribes here.

>>16893516
Exactly.

Thouhg I guess we should be a little greatful, the relative obscurity is how dad met mom... why do you think I'm white.

>>16893546
Oh, I see.

Perhaps I should tell my friend not to eat her boyfriend's liver for calling her a Kitsune.

>>16893540
Got the image?

>>16893566
Nope. Lost it during HD transfer. Ask /int/.

>>16893563
Yeah, that sounds like something you should call off.

>>16893485
yeah I tried hiding my secrets from everyone when I was younger. Eventually I just stopped hiding it and told all my friends, a few didn't take the news well and stopped talking to me.
But haters gonna hate as they say.

>>16893563

Damned obnoxious little fox-fey. Drama whores and hipsters, all of them. And they think they're so adorable when they start pulling their little "tricks" on everyone. BITCH, IF I WANTED MY PRADA HANDBAG IN PURPLE I WOULD HAVE DONE SO WHEN I PAID $600 FOR IT. NO YOU ARE NOT CUTE, NOR CLEVER. YOU'RE JUST A VANDAL.

Of course, that goes for all the fey out there that still style themselves "trickster spirits." I'd rather deal with Ogre Mormons.

>>16893610
I guess she was only joking...

Though he did tell her about being a troll.

>>16893657
Oh excellent, you're back. You're right though, trickster spirits are just annoying nowadays, they're no longer the interesting spice to an otherwise boring farming life.

>>16893657
If somebody buys a bag for 600 USD then they're so dumb that they deserve to have it vandalized.

>>16893697

That's just the sort of thing a kitsune would say, now isn't it?

Right before she gets Tazed.

>>16893721
I guess I could get along with one of those if I met them then. They probably just need a firm hand.

>>16893721
Even I have to admit, six-hundred dollard for a handbag is pretty dumb.

But now I gotta go put on an Affliction shirt and go visit my boyfriend.

Dear god today sucked.

Not only did were we too late to stop an Hell gate from opening but apparently something got through. It takes the form of a succubus, and while demon summoning is legal with a permit, we're putting warnings on all summoning. Hopefully some idiot had their protection runes on full-gear if they did summon it. Its one of the original angels that fell with Lucifer.

Next thing you know, people will be saying that it's okay to throw red paint on a perfectly good displacer-fur wrap.

So guys, I've been hanging out with a hardcore gnoll group, you know I met them in college, the group consists of a blindfolded seer-apprentice type guy, a drummer who seems to fail all of his english classes and a female gnoll with uh... spiderbites.

Anyway, I'm kind of feeling like the third wheel and the drummer is constantly trying to size me up, the female(Her names... I think she calls herself Twitch?) however seems to be always standing closer to me more often than she normally does, infact she jokingly threatened to bite me when I leaned past her to grab my pen in one of our classes.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on but our friendship is feeling weirder and more hostile by the day.

Pic related: It was me at a cosplay.

>>16893781
>implying christianity has any basis in reality
all those plot holes in the bible and you still believe in it? christians are so stupid

So these fucking elves keep coming out onto my property. I own quite a bit of land but commute and the land is mainly for my lamian wife who likes to keep animals but it seems every time she goes in for the evening they come onto our land and start fucking the trees and trying to release the animals.

I know under Vermont law im justified to remove them by any means necessary but they refuse to move unless i come out with my ar-15 and even then they start threatening with all that elf magic bullshit.

How much damage can elf magic do? am i going to have to involve the police?

So my parents really want me to go into med-school but I don't wanna deal with all the hassle of being a cleric.

Religious cults aren't for me, and yet we all know that regular medicine is just a temporary fix until someone who can cast cure light wounds gets there.

How do I stick to my beliefs without being a disappointment?

>>16893828

Just tell them, every time you catch them on your land, you're going to cut down the tallest tree you have, and put it through the wood chipper.

You own a chainsaw, right?

>>16893828
The laws are there for a reason and trespassing is trespassing. I would call your local mage and raise a magical barrier to know when their in the vicinity. Then when the authorities arrive you can hold them accountable for it.

>>16893836
By really sticking to your beliefs. It's possible to become a cleric of healing without devoting yourself to a deity, as long as you believe in and uphold the philosophy of healing. It's what Hippocrates did.

>>16893828
>So these fucking elves keep coming out onto my property.

Just to clarify: not all of us are tree-fucking hippy asshats. Don´t think that all those pot-smokers doing the psychodelic light shows in Occupy Wall Street represent us. I, for one, would love to see the police rough them up a fair bit.

>>16893836
Do you live in the middle east or something? No other families tend to be that oppressive. And as someone not from an oppressive family I say: fuck them. Its not their life. If you're so scared of being a disappointment then being a healer is probably too tough for you to handle anyway.

>>16893262
Wrong, wrong and wrong. Firstly, when I bind a creature, I find out the True Name. You aren't going to break it out of that. And if you want to destroy it or imprison it, well, go ahead, be my guest.
As for it not being an angel, yes it is, it's a celestial of the angel classification. About the strongest angel there is, as a matter of fact. You have no idea what you are talking about, and I hope you never try to summon anything from the planes when I'm not watching, because that would be a waste of perfectly good entertainment.

>>16893856
Who knows if its even elves anyway? Could easily be some pot smoking punkass kids putting on fake ears.

>>16893847
I own several...and for shits and giggles i could use the mg42 i keep in the house for open days at the range and Minotaur season

>>16893849
Might do that but im scared they will just attack my wife. we both own firearms and we are legal allowed to shoot to kill if they are on our land and threatening us..but that dosn't do us alot of good against an summoned tree spirit or some shit

>>16893856
its cool man its cool

>>16893868
Pretty sure they are elves, pointy ears, tall, talk in that bloody language sometimes that even they can barely understand and start ranting on about spirits of nature and shit. Can a human not just live in peace?

>>16893876
>talk in that bloody language sometimes that even they can barely understand
>ranting on about spirits of nature and shit
Sounds like its just punkass kids doing drugs

>>16893876
>Minotaur season
Wow we either got a hardcore racist or a straight up murderer here.

>>16893868
>Who knows if its even elves anyway? Could easily be some pot smoking punkass kids putting on fake ears.

Oh God don´t get me started on THOSE. There are hardly any leves in Southern Spain, so human people MY AGE tend to treat me like I´m some sort of FEY.

Do I LOOK like I feed on tree salve and spirit water?

I mean, Ok, I´ll admit it was kind of fun in school. But come high school and I get all these idiot girls who think I´m in "communion with nature".

Look, buddy, I hate the countryside. When it´s dry, it is dusty and hot. When it is wet, it smells, it is cold and it is STILL HOT. I love A/C. Fuck you and your ecologist bullshit. Go be a vampire, at least THEY have a use for you (as long as you still got blood in your veins, and some of them like you even after you have smoked some joints).

>>16893860
hey now, us Halfing families are close. We enjoy our freedom as much as any human, but my parents just don't want to see another washed up bard in the family.

>>16893893
No no no, feral Minotaur are a huge problem out here in the summer months. we tried tranquillisers a long time ago but they just dont work so we have to use heavy ordnance. The best hand on my fathers farm was a Minotaur but these things are completely different.

Its all legal and above board cleared with EPA. Its not like hunting..if we didn't do it we'd lose our homes

>>16893908
aren't they completely different species? They look similar but are about as related as scorpions and lobsters

>>16893937
I'm not entirely sure, all i know is that if they get close to your home you can say bye bye to all your worldly possessions. Magic and Firearms have to be combined to bring them down. Hence why im cosy with the local mages

Hey, Succubusguy, are you still awake? Or are you climbing a big staircase right about now?

Concerning the "feather pattern", I really don't think that is indicative of a fallen angel. Unless the mark appears like an extremely inflamed, crispy black burn, or is otherwise inflamed and glowing hot, I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably just a brand or a stylistic gouge, if not just a tattoo (more details would help.) Demons love to personalize themselves, and this is especially true of Succubi, being that they are usually forced to take the form of an ideal woman. Moreover, I haven't heard of any fallen angels that have skin-type wings in the first place; usually it's either feathered wings or skeletal wings, depending on the "degree of sin." Of course, that's if you believe in all the mythology, but I digress. My point stands that skin-type wings are expressly indicative of a demon.

As for what she's doing in your house... well, if it really is as you say, you summoned her there, and she probably doesn't have any way to get back. She might just be making herself comfortable for the time being. Try to accommodate her. Ask her some direct questions. You already know that she's a succubus, so she's unlikely to hide that fact from you. Of course, they're all subject to personality, but I find that most of them are [spoiler]chatty Cathys[/spoiler] who won't hesitate to tell you about their personal lives if they don't have anything better to do. Beware, though. Wings of any kind on a demon are a sign of power; on a succubus, of experience. This could all be an expert ploy to deceive you into thinking your spell was a success. I recommend applying a ward of protection, and then attempt to rub the tattoo off of her arm. If it's genuine, it won't come off. If it rubs, that means she applied it in the interim period during the summoning... probably with some average pens. It's a pretty uncommon scam, but an effective one.

>>16893979
>I recommend applying a ward of protection, and then attempt to rub the tattoo off of her arm.

Bad idea. Get someone else to attempt it. As the original summoner, if you try to rub it off, it might well come off even if it wasn't a fake, and then you're so far up shit creek you end up in arse mountain.

>>16893897
But wait, what subtype of Elf you are? I know for a fact, that the Wood Elves are most of the time, dicks.

>>16894049
wizard more like trickster

>>16894064
You haven't met many wizards.

yeah the D23-64 form needs to be filled out properly and co-signed by the victim and notice must be posted at all close by adventuring Hubs. I work in the Forms office for the city been working there for Id say about 15 years filing and stamping and organizing and trying to figure out why the hell no one has turned it digital yet. Im a Minotaur by the way.

>>16894049

That definitely is a good point. I think that since he bound his circle in blood, that he should be safe, but if the convenience of an intermediary is available to attempt it for him than that would be the best bet.

Let's just hope now that the guy in question is still alive...

So /tg/ help me here. My family was choosen by the Fharlanghn Church, to receive into our house, one of the "priests" that is traveling around the country, doing the Fharlanghn stuff.
But my Father and Mother are traveling because of the work, so i'll have to look into the priest alone, so i've wanted to know if anyone has any experiences with these Clercs?

So I called some random mage guy a fucking faggot and then he tells me he's going to give me the asskicking of my lifetime.

Picture related is the guy.

Today I found a little girl who just discovered her powers. She was angry at her mother who didn't let her have any sweets. Mind you her mother is simply an ordinary human like many people are. Her little girl, simply because she grew angry destroyed the entire house with a basic fire spell.

People say I'm a monster to take her away from her parents. People say I'm an asshole to instigate searches for underage children with magic. Other say I'm simply jealous of those with actual magic.

I am a Mage-Finder. In olden times they called us a witch-hunters. Funny how those exact same people end up thanking me after their kids uncontrolled magic blows their face off.

Sorry I'm just blowing some steam. Had a bad run-in today with the girl's father and he threatened me and my apprentice with a shotgun.

>>16894222
So what you do with the Childs? I mean in the older times, witch hunters are pretty much the whole "BURN WITCH, BURN". How it has changed?

>>16894184
You were right, he does look like a fucking faggot.

>>16894222
You're an arsehole and you have no idea what you're doing. Abducting children because you can't even figure out how to set a ward against magic and can't be bothered to call in someone who can is ignorant, lazy douchebaggery of the highest order.

>>16894269

>>16894222
If your unfamiliar with mage-finders, we're a branch of Social Services that relocate children with magic into foster-magic-families. We do allow the parents the right to see them, and when the child is capable of controlling his magic he is allowed to return to the family.

When we first started, we were apart of the church, that is until the separation of church and state came into effect, our group going under goverment issues. We given magic disruption items, and many of our members are also magic users. I myself am apart of percent that is immune to all magic. Of course if a fire-ball is coming at me its still going to burn me to death. But if missile of magic flies at me, I'll be fine...except for the kinetic energy knocking me back.

I generally deal with parents and families and such. We've tried to instigate a school for these children so they can still go back to their families but due to budget cuts, we've developed a system of foster magic families.

So if your a mage over the age of twenty-one and would like an apprentice or apprentices to house and feed join the Foster-Wizard program.

>>16894277
See what I mean?

>>16894283
Dont mind him he's just trolling.

As for hatred towards my group. You might confuse us underneath those who follow Mathew Hopkin's way of 'mage finding' which is the actual witch hunting of the past.

The man is a disgrace and I hope is soul is rotting in the darkest hells that exist. His order have killed countless men, women and children many of them who didn't even have magic.

His book, The Discovery of Witches is banned and is only allowed to read by trained Mage-Finders to simply show the difference of what an actual magic finder is.

>>16894290
Except that I'm not. Who's the wizard here, after all?

>>16894300
You steal children because you don't know how to deal with sorcery. You deserve all the hate you get.

>>16894305
As I said you might be confusing my organization for Mathew Hopkins. His group often disguises themselves as certified Mage Finders and kidnaps children. Many of them are brainwashed and use their magic as a weapon in order to find other children. The goverment has issued that if someone is claiming to be a mage-finder without a permit then you are allowed to resist.

>>16894305
I highly doubt you're a wizard.

>>16894311
I do not steal. You do not say others of Social Services are stealing children if they relocate a child from an abusive home. My situation is simply reversed, if the child has magic, cannot control it he is a danger to the parents. The parents have every right to see their children, I agree with this. We've had numerous cases where entire families have died because the child could not be found in time due to the family hiding their child away.

>>16894321
I highly doubt you're not a samefag.

>>16894317
>No, see, there's this /other/ group of witchfinders that steal children, only they brainwash children, which we never do, because we're /totally legit/ kidnappers forcefully removing children from their parents because we've never heard of antimagic zones or tutors.

>>16894343
People impersonate police officers, and agents all the time. Are you saying we are not? There are cults out there who impersonate religious organization.

>>16894343
And many people are unable to afford a proper tutor or even buy a simple spell. Poverty is common.

>>16894300
>Actually look up Mathew Hopkins.

>Holy shit.

>>16894369
So you can afford to steal children, but you can't afford to take 10 minutes to ask a decent wizard or sorcerer to sign on a child for a future apprenticeship, and in the meantime to take straightforward, cheap precautions that will pay many times the cost back if the child later chooses to work for them? You aren't even trying. It's not like sorcerers manifesting powers before puberty is common, percentage wise, either. In the vast majority of cases, that's when the blood kicks in. It can be iffy for non-humans or those with a particularly strong bloodline, but in those cases it's even more of an incentive for a wizard to help them.

>>16894397
Have you not been listening? Our program is all about finding teachers. We relocate children to those wizards with magical ability. Each child is researched and set with the according teacher.

For instance if you have a child with a natural affinity to fire magic you would place them with a wizard who utilized fire magic. It is simple. Why not get your self signed up self-proclaimed WIZARD? Or are you too busy in the soup-kitchen and donating all your things to notice a little organization like that?

Theres one in every major city. You can even sign up on line. www.mage-finder.spell Remember to use Kitsune and not Google Chromatic.

I wonder if paladins have this problem. Probably not, no one argues with a guy in a ton of armor and a giant weapon.

But no you can argue with the guy who wears a duster and a hat. We only wear that because it can be stiched together with symbols of anti-magic.

>>16894442
no, instead we have to deal with everyone assuming we're there to raid the place like some stupid hotshot adventure the second we knock on their door.

So I went to the cops like people suggested, things didn't turn out so well. Seems those Werewolves I roughed up have said I attacked them and now the cops have been looking for me. So far I haven't been arrested or charged or anything. But I've been given the don't leave town speech.
Another Were caught me outside the station and basically said he was gonna get all his mates together and come after me. Now I'm not so sure I should go out on the town tonight, even though I'm meant to be hang out with this cute half dragon chick whos birthday it is, I'm pretty sure not showing up would hurt my chances of getting a date.
What do?

>>16894415
Have you not been listening? You don't need to steal the child off their parents, you can just slap some suppression wards on the child and have the teacher come and take them down every so often for a lesson. You may not realise it, but there are such things as teleport spells: you don't need to take children from their parents for any tutor worth having to access them, and children are not ideal students to have anyway, since they lack a number of qualities needed for full casting, not least of which is the fact that if you are still undergoing the mental growth a child goes through, learning spells is essentially pointless since within a few years the spell will not fit your mental pattern any more. Not that that matters so much for sorcerers, but they have their own reasons for not learning as children.
As for what I do, I live in a number of separate demiplanes with limited access to the material plane, mainly because I got fed up with the stupidity of people like you, so most of my interaction with people for the last few hundred years has been through magical academies- All, I might note, voluntary. Of course, it's often difficult for those who go through such to earn a job, given the amount of competition for positions today, which is where long-established wizards like myself, who can afford to take on a bunch of brilliant underlings who would otherwise be stuck trying to scrape together funding just to do any research to develop their own magic, let alone get anywhere in the world. And no wonder, if all the money is being poured off into inefficient programs like yours.

>>16894583
Tell her at least some of what's going on, not spending time with her may hurt your chances, but spending time with her and getting her into trouble will hurt them a lot more.

>>16894601
bah I know thats the smart thing to do.
But damn I was hoping to have some fun tonight after what happened today.
Guess I'll go talk to her

>>16894585
Done arguing with a person who doesn't even support his own plane of existence.

>>16894787
Good, the sexual tension between you two was suffocating. Get a room already.

>>16894183
So anyone has a suggestion on the Travelling Cleric Stuff?

>>16895042
Can't say I've dealt with any myself.
Just be polite and it should all be fine.

>>16895100
Heh, i guess this is the awnser for everything

>>16895150
and even if its not theres still no reason not to be polite.
Even while your biting off someones limbs (or is that just me).

>>16895213
No my father is really polite when he's ripping someone arms off.
They always are impressed by it

>>16895262
Just out of curiosity, what is your father.
Or did I just fail my detect sarcasm roll.

>>16892979
Well I survived the night.
I only have time for a quick bowl of cereal before work, but she's still sleeping.

>>16895315
Well I think we can say she doesn't have just straight up murdering you on her mind then

>>16894090
>>16894049
>>16893979
Alright, before I run out the door... I got my cat to try it. It woke her up, but my cat's pretty smart and knew what I wanted it to do.
The tattoo is still there, and she was super excited to see I owned a cat.
>>16895325
That's a bit of a load off.

So uh... I have a thing for humans. My family is calling me a fucking pervert and threatening to disown me if I keep it up. Normally I wouldn't care, but uncle Posco has connections I just can't do without right now. He's said, privately, that he doesn't care what I get my jollies from, but he's got to side with the family for appearance's sake. Halfling clannishness can be serious shit sometimes.

I'd go for an Alter Self to be incognito at pubs and such, but it's awkward as hell if I hit it off with some cute human guy and he goes for a grab, only to find that my head is at the height of his crotch.

>>16895607
Is it the height difference, or just being human that you like. Cos just as a thought here, if you can find one of those rare humans who have Dwarfism (not to be confused with actually being a Dwarf) he might go down better with the folks.

>>16894583
Motherfucking werewolves are even more trouble than twitards. They think they can go around trashing places and people and then they go for the whole "instincts lol" when someone calls them out on their bullshit. And if you do manage to stand up to them, they just bring their buddies to fuck more shit up. They think they're so tough, ganging up on some poor sod. Eat silver!

>ITT seems like /friends of humanity/ in here.

seriously, the mage finder program has be obsolete in non-conservative US states since the 90's, and in most of Europe from about the 80's.

But even they agree Matthew Hopkins is a dick...

Though I heard from both friend in the FBI AND FBM that he's being looked at under the VICO act for not actually burning those "witches" he finds, some of which have later turned up under an assumed identity working magical "escort" services.

>>16895353
She brought me lunch. to work. Fried chicken. It's delicious!
Man... I WANT to think this is cool...
Can souls grow back? I mean, yeah, you get your soul devoured you're gone for good, but what if a little nibble gets taken here and there, then left alone for a while?