Who the heck is "Cephias Cain?"

>>17349865
Ciaphas Cain. Sorry. Its late.

>>17349865
That's Ciaphus Cain's uncle... they couldn't get the commissar himself (Too expensive)

>>17349883
Sir I am certain you mean "it's," as in, "it is." The word "its" is completely different. No, I have nothing else to do right now.

The Stig is a lost Primarch.

I'd watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzUNdXPGOf4

>allofmywant.jpg

I am OK with this.

Top Gear in the 40kverse. A concept that warrants expansion.

Super Robot Wars Top Gear > RL Top Gear > whatever you've come up with

One of them will get raped by Dark Eldar.

>Top Gear in the 40kverse.
>Not done by Orkish Mekboys
MAH BOIZ

Clarkson: Now the producers have told us that we've started to lose sight of what Top Gear is really about. It's the pizzazz, they say. There's not enough of it.

May: Which brings us to our next segment...

Hammond: Caravaning on a death world.

>>17350071
FUND IT!

>>17350068

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCSNCs7bwCw

Behold, mekboyz at work.

>>17349857
That's not the Squig

Requesting the Squig picture.

>>17350087
Thats Orky.

>>17350101
Anon delivers.

I have a large text file of mecha Top Gear on my computer that is ready to be deployed.

/tg/ has to be the funniest board.

>>17350110

>allofmyfukkensaves.jpg

May: But the most important question is how fast it will go.

Clarkson: Which means it's time to hand it over to our tame racing Princeps. Some say his testicles power the Guns of Luna, and that his nipples are actually tiny power-fists.

Hammond: All we know is, he's called the Stig.

>Crossover beween Imperium Top Gear and Ork Top Gear
Ends with millions dead.

>>17350120
Nice.

>>17350154
Way better than when Tau Top Gear tried a cross over. Half of the Imperium Top Gear's camera crew went with the blue bastard's after filming was over.

>>17350154
But there's going to be a car worthy of the Emperor built afterwards.

>>17350165
I've seen the Tau version; nothing of value was lost.

>>17350165
Thats still better than when they Crossed over with Dark Eldar Top Gear. The less said about that the better.

>>17349857
>And Ciaphas Cain takes a spin in our reasonably priced vehicle.

What would a "reasonably priced vehicle" in the 40k universe be anyways?

>>17350201
I dunno. I guess a civilian variant of a Landspeeder.

>>17350189

It's not that bad, but the cast just don't work nearly as well with each other as the original version. They just don't have any good comedic chemistry.

>>17350201
Grav tank from a deodorant stick.

Clarkson: It's the latest murder-machine to roll out of Adeptus Motors.

*Silhouettes of a tank*

Clarkson: Eighty-six cylinders give it an amount of oomph previously reserved for Space Marines.

*Shots of an engine bay the size of a building*

Clarkson: Private sources tell me it was originally designed... to demolish mountains.

*Sound of an engine being gunned*

Clarkson: What a machine.

*Explosion*

Clarkson: What a MACHINE.

>>17350201
Do the Admech have hovercar technology?

>>17350201
Good question. Non-military transport isn't much of a focal point in 40k lore.
Maybe a Chimera?

Similar question: What would be the the IoM Top Gear's equivilant of >pic related?

>>17350217
Commercial landspeeders are used all the time in Eisenhorn.

>>17350214
I take it that was a Baneblade.

>>17350214

Man every time you guys come up with an idea for a 40k spin on a TV show I always feel the need to throw my money at the computer.

>>17350247
It's a large tank. Just how many Imperial vehicles does that describe?

>>17350222
the leman russ

>>17350259
About Fifty.

I love this thread.

"What we have here, is basically a Reliant Robin, except it's covered in skulls. I'm told it has the best turning capabilities out of all the vehicles in the imperial guards. I seriously doubt that."

>>17350301
>What we have here, is basically a Reliant Robin, except it's covered in skulls.

Oh god my sides.

I heard they once tried to make a Necron spin-off.
But it got canceled after only two episodes,

>>17350222
undoubtedly they have to exist in their millions on countless worlds which arent at war, from hive city worlds to general production and agri-worlds.

(but then again, I personally feel that the 1920's all-rivets style of 40K machinery is absolutely stupid, and would love to see something slightly less fucktarded become the norm...)


And on Tonight's programme:

James' dismantling of a machine-spirit angers the Adeptus Mechanicus...

Richard is attacked by underhive gangers when visiting Gryphonne IV Motors' forge-continent...

And Jeremy is dropped from orbit by the Imperial Navy!

>>17350337
At least its better than Eldar Top Gear. Pompus cunts.

>"And on that bombshell..."

Clackson: Back in the summer, the producers of top gear gave each of us, fifteen hundred thones.

Hammond: They did, which was a nice gesture.

Clarkson: indeed, but then they said we each had to go out and spend our money on a Porsh-A pattern land speeder. That meant dealing with rogue traders and auctions and so on, and buying a proper Porsh-A for less than Fifteen hundred thrones.

Hammond: Yes, and when we'd done it, we all had to meet up in the center of Perlia, where we would be given... a number of challenges, to find out which of us had best spent our dosh.

>>17350301
for people who don't get it,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQh56geU0X8

>>17349857
In a special, hour long program.

The lads test out 3 brand new speeder variants in the deepest part of a hive fleet, their challenge. to deliver a bioweapon to the hivemind itself.

May: And here is a photograph of the next competitor, the Alpha Immolator.

Hammond: What's that bit on the front end?

May: That's the flamethrower.

Hammond: But it's huge!

Clarkson: What are those little things?

May: Trees.

Clarkson: It is at this point I must advise the audience that my pants have filled.

What ever happened to that Tyranid spinoff?

>>17350502
It was eaten, fittingly enough.

I would watch the Inquisitional spin-off but its classified.

>>17350510
Figures.

I remember once they had a Sister of Battle as a guest. 3rd degree burns on half the audience and three twelve year old boys were reported Kidnapped.

They must have Writs of Trade, because i can't see the Inquisition, or the Ad Mech, being too favorable to their honest reviews of various vehicles.

>>17350575
>honest reviews

>>17350557
Remember the Epsisode when they had a Spacewolf on? The entire planet was drained of alchohol for weeks.

>They must have Writs of Trade, because i can't see the Inquisition, or the Ad Mech, being too favorable to their honest reviews of various vehicles.

"and in tonight's programme, we test a Chimera, against captured Xenos "Battlewagon" and "Vampire Raider" class vehicles...
>Chimera wins hands down.
>Recruitment advert for the imperial guard comes up at the end of the segment.
>inquisition walk away after filming, nodding in approval as another popular show demonstrates the superiority of humanity...

Hammond: Last year Malifian Motorworks had released an SS version of their top-selling Invicto 911. They say that it's the fastest ground super car in the sector. So, we went to Iocanthos to put it to the test.

>>17350660
Yes.

>>17350301
"Also, the admech has taken it upon themselves to add a new feature allowing you take your robin reliant directly to and from your battlebarge. It appears to be just as useful and its steering planet side."

>>17350617
Seriously, did you ever see the series: Killing a Leman Russ? They went to see if they could actually destroy it. They crashed it into everything around the underhive, drove it into the sea, where it got washed away with the tide, then found again a few miles down the shore on its side after the tide went out... drove it through a building, parked it on top of a condemned mega-structure, which was then blown up underneath it... After all that, a single ad mech initiate, not a magos, an initiate... with no spare parts, got the damn thing running again in under an hour.

They proclaimed it favored by the omnisiah itself, and It's now on display in their main hangar.

>>17350739
I remember that. Not even Terminator Armor is that Tough.

>>17350739
>no spare parts
No special equipment or facilities either -- just a standard-issue toolkit and a can of aerosol sacred-machine-oil.

Anyone remember the time when they had Comissaar Fuklaw on?

Clarkson: Our Next challenge is to drive around Holy Terra with Anti-Imperial Slogans painted on our vehichles and not get shot.

>>17350814
I'd watch the shit out of that.

>>17350814
Being Shot is the least of their Worries. The inquisition probably keeps a very close eye on them as is.

>>17350860
All of their producers are Inquisitors. The purpose of this challenge is to root out anti-Imperial sympathizers, i.e. those who do not shoot at the presenters.

Keep going guys. This is gold.

I WANT THIS SHOW.

>>17350909

We all do, buddy.

>The Stig
>Not Da Squig

>>17350876
So anyone who doesn't shoot gets BLAMMED. And then they get BLAMMED for writing blasphemous slogans on their cars?

Hammond: And then he asked me if my car could affix bayonets.

Clarkson: Could it?

Hammond: Of course not!

Clarkson: Well, there you go then.

May: Gentlemen, I think we've gotten a bit off topic.

Hammond: What is the topic?

May: Heresy.

*Static*

>>17350975
Of course they don't get executed for the slogans. The presenters are an Inquisitorial asset. They kill heretics, indirectly. And sometimes directly, at which point the bumpers must be wiped down.

"Dis is bigmek Jezza, and on tonight's show:
Kap'n Slow tries to outrace a speed freak across the segmentum.
Grot attempts to paint a gargant red. In under a year.
And Wazzdakka is da schmuck in da 50 toof trukk."

>>17350988
I am reading this and all the other little segments in this thread in their voices. It is quite bizarrely awesome.

What would be the 40k equivilant of the Morris Marina

>>17351091
Manticore?

>>17351096
It gets hit with a drop pod every episode.

The Mars-pattern Marnade, a tiny four-wheeled groundcar that was decidedly subaverage.

I'm imagining the tyranid version right now.

"Chikchik scree scrablargl"

*silhouette of a massive, lunbering organism*

"Glargl clik scrawk chikchikclik"

*an image of dozens of smaller organisms bursting from massive, pustulating incubation globes on its back*

"Blargrrr scree clikclik"

*the sight of a leman russ being swarmed by dozens of the small organisms while the larger progenitor rips off the turret, allowing the ravening swarm to drag its screaming crew out and tear them limb from limb*

*Blargr scree CLIK*

So I guess the top gear team always make jokes about how they won the Badab war, and occasionally go over there to strut their stuff.

>>17351143
I read that all in Clarkson, Hammond's and May's Voice. It was glorious.

Clarkson: ...Hence this week's challenge.

May: The producers have graciously given us a full two days to turn each of these unassuming civilian vehicles...

Hammond: Into a mobile cathedral.

How about the time they raced across the Imperial Palace; Hammond and May using public transportation, and Clarkson in a personal speeder.

Damn it was close.

>>17351180
Done

>>17351180

Oh fuck now I'm reading all of these posts in their voices too.

>>17351180
>May: The producers have graciously given us a full two days to turn each of these unassuming civilian vehicles...

>Hammond: Into a mobile cathedral.


May: Clarkson! you cant turn a giant Mine-world digging machine into a cathedral!

Clarkson: Is this used by the Imperial Guard?

May: Well, no, but i-

Clarkson: Good! it's Civillian! that concludes that. Fetch me a hammer!

>mfw this entire thread

Putting down the stamp

So, Clarkson a radical Inquisitor.
James May is a Tech-Priest (Does everything by rote)
Hammond is a ratling.

And the stig. Probably in white power armour as a marine.

>>17351256
this is so something clarkson would do.

>The producers are Inquisition.
Well that would sure make the pre-challenge briefings-by-letter interesting.

=][= BEGIN TRANSMISSION =][=

>What lies before you is the wasteland remnants of Eimerl Secondus, which was subjected to Exterminatus in [expunged by Inquisition] due to a chaos uprising.

>The planet is completely lifeless, and with the exception of the two re-terraforming facilities on opposite sides of the globe, completely barren as well.

>Transfers between these bases are done via dropship due to the harsh terrain, and no Imperium land vehicle has ever completed the journey from base to base.

>If you run out of water, you will die.

>If your vehicle breaks down and cannot be rescued, you will die.

>If you run out of food, you will die.

>It's like driving on a Creme Brulee, the entire surface is like a custard ooze of molten metal covered by a thin, rocky crust. If you have thin tires, you will break through that crust, get stuck, and die.

>We adise you to stick with fat-treaded or hovering vehicles, and remove as much wieght as possible before setting off.

>The emperor protects.

=][= END TRANSMISSION =][=

>>17351302
>hovering vehicles

Now that is just cheating

Clarkson (voiceover): The question was not "Is it possible," but rather, "Is it safe?"

*Shot of Clarkson tossing a piece of machinery out of a vehicle*

Clarkson: Don't need this.

*And a hose*

Clarkson: Or that.

*And a plasma cell, which explodes on contact with the ground*

Clarkson: No-one needs that anymore. Right! Let's put her on the track and see how she purrs.

*Shot of Stig entering vehicle*

Clarkson: So far so good.

*Vehicle explodes*

Clarkson (voiceover): It is not.

>>17351326

Yeah but given that they've only got a budget of 1000 thrones each, I doubt they could afford a hovering vehicle. That's the point in the episode where they look at each other, look at their cars tires, back at each other, and one of them utters "S**t.".

>>17351361
During this particular challenge, the usual "Leave your teammates behind" competitive style will lead to lasting consequences in the form of death.

>>17351290

... you know what this means don't you...
The Stig is a White Scar...

>>17351361
May: clarkson, *how* could you afford a fully-operational landspeeder on 1000 thrones?

Clarkson: Well, I went to Ryza, and purchased an ex-Marine issue speeder, one careful owner.

>camera pans around to reveal that one side has been completely blasted away by some unspeakable alien weapon...

Clarkson: "Well, I went to the black library, and I found... this!"
*various screams of horror*
Hammond: "Isn't that heresy?"
May: "Only if you enjoy it."

>>17351420
He's probably the White Scar primarch in disguise.

>>17351420
drawfags, seriously, all of my money.

>>17351490


This is now canon: The Stig is Jagathai Khan.

>>17351445

Hammond: And are those wheels you've fitted to the underside??
Clarkson: Yes!
Hammond: Why would you do that??
Clarkson: In case the hover-y bits stop working!
May: Wait a sec, are they even connected to the engine?
Clarkson: Well, yes and no. They're connected in the sense that they're connected to the landspeeder, and so is the engine; but they don't really DO anything.
*May and Hammond burst out laughing*
Clarkson: Well I ran out of thrones at that point!
May: Yeah but what are you going to do if the hover systems break down, get out and push??
Clarkson: Look I'll figure something out!

>>17351445

*pointing*
May: Is that a bit of the "careful owner", fused to the seat?

Clarkson: Well, maybe. I mean, even if it was, you can't really tell.

Hammond: And which chapter did you get this from, again?

Clarkson: Some Blood Angels successor, why?

Hammond: Because if you take a look -- here -- you can see what's left of a purity seal, baring the markings of the Iron Hands.

Clarkson: Well... Fancy that.

>>17351535
Clarkson: So what did you get Hammond?

>>17351578
Hammond: "Well, obviously. We want something with big tracks. So I was looking at the Land Raider."
May: "For 1000 thrones?"
Hammond: "Weeee-ll, strictly speaking I wasn't able to get a Land Raider. But it was designed by Land!"
Clarkson: "It's a tractor."
Hammond: "It's a Land Crawler! Engine by land, tracks by land."
May: "Hay bales by Agriworld 6?"

Any Drawfags in here. Someone needs to draw a comic.

>>17351622
Alright May, You're so smart. What did you buy?

>>17351658
>camera pans slowly round to a rhino.
>... a rhino built dusing the Horus Heresy, paint peeling off, armour pockmarked with countless bolt shell holes, all doors hanging off hinges...

>>17351684
>built dusing the Horus Heresy
The way things work in 40k that would actually make it MORE expensive

>>17351696
which is when they see that the engine bay has been replaced with not an internal combustion engine, but a wood-burning steam engine built on a pre-industrial planet its lain on for the last 11,000 years, rusting away.

>>17351696
*Clarkson walks over to it*
Hammond: "Wow may, I'm impressed"

May: "I wasn't easy to get, but I bargained him down to 900 thrones"

Clarkson: "Um... James."

May: "Yes?"

Clarkson: "Your Rhino is made out of wood."

Hammond: "... what?"

May: "Ah, well, you see, a Rhino is an STC vehicle, so it can be made from any local material, iron, titanium..."

Hammond: "wood"

May: "It's still a rhino, and armoured."

Clarkson: "May... it's a volcanic planet. You're in a wooden rhino."

>>17351732
He's in a wooden BAWKES on a Volcanic world.

>>17351732
(As a note, yes, wooden rhinos used to exist. According to old fluff, they were using them in the Badab war. And later, when wood ran out, they used solidified organic waste.)

>>17351759
I'd rather the Wood.

>>17351714
>>17351732
>wooden rhino
>powered by steam
And by the of the challenge, he's out of fuel and resorts to tearing off bits and pieces to stoke the boiler. When he crosses the finish line, there's nothing left but the engine, treads, and the driver's seat.

Please tell me there are Drawfags around.

>>17351770

Meanwhile, the VW Beetle that was brought along as the punishment vehicle is still working fine.

>>17351798
Most of them were banned and the rest ran in terror...

...from he who shall not be named because he is watching us all and spoilers don't work on /tg/

>>17351805
Is the VW beetle covered in Pro-Chaos propaganda and pictures of Cultist-chan?

Thread Archived.

>>17351857
Seriously?

>>17351832
No that was for the Motorcycle challenge where they ride across a shrine world.

>>17351832
it's DRIVEN by cultist-chan.
She doesn't have driver's license and will probably sing annoying trip songs that could bring an average joe into the folds of Chaos.

>>17351832

Nah, it's bright gold, got the Imperial Eagle on every surface, and for some reason the stereo has "Born in the USA" playing on a constant loop, which the AdMech dare not try to fiddle with because they believe it to be the voice of the Machine Spirit.

>>17351869
I thought it was Holy Terra?

>>17351832
Funny thing...
The VW beetle was commissioned by Adolf Hitler, who wanted an affordable family car for the German people.

The IoM are basically (catholic) space nazis anyway, so... yeah.

I mean, it even looks like a Stahlhelm, for Emp's sake.

Eh, if people dislike it they can vote it down.

So, what's the first challenge?

>>17351929
See
>>17351302

>>17351871
Oh God. Just imagine her singing.

>>17351955

You don't need to imagine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzC4hFK5P3g

>>17351979
Her moves are so jittery I thought she might actually be a robot. Which is fitting, given it's Japan.

>>17351874
And they're trying to stealthily bike across an Eldar Craftworld.

Brilliant.

>>17352007

Given her style, appearance, and the ability to cause people to gain Corruption AND Insanity points via her music videos, I'm pretty sure she's Cultist-chan's ancestor or something. She's even got a video where she tries a Lady Gaga-esque look, complete with dancing lions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLy4cvRx7Vc

>>17352088
Why do her breasts have eyelashes?

>>17352027
What would a good Dark Eldar challenge be?

Best thread ever.

>>17352196
Dark Eldar are afraid of hurting their slave vessels so they have to get and make better slave vessels for less than 1500 thrones. Then they are put through a series of challenges.

>>17352173

Japan. Or Chaos, either one works as an explanation.

It also explains why her (presumably) male back up dancers are wearing tube tops in the 2nd half of the video.

>>17352244
>Japan
>Chaos
Theres a difference? The enitre country worships Slannesh.

>>17352244
Japan is the birthplace of Chaos. Or vice versa, we're not really sure.

>>17352221

At the end they have to chauffeur a Dark Eldar Archon in their new raider to an important meeting. It is absolutely paramount that the Archon arrive safely, quickly and with a minimum of embarrassment.

Clarkson (v.o.): "Eventually, we had crossed the blasted wastes of Eimerl Secondus, we had reached the fabled glass plain.
A perfectly flat surface, it was an excellent place to test our trusty vehicles' speed.
Of course, this means handing them over to a skilled driver.

Some say his eyes are the colour of Sanguinus' blood, and that his underwear is made of obsidian. All we know is he is NOT the Stig. He is the Stig's Salamander cousin!"

*out comes a Salamander marine dressed in an offensive parody of Nocturnian dress. Over his armour.*

>>17352318
Oh Christ thats Brilliant. This thread should be archived for future generations.

>>17351770
James: "So, what the two idiots have failed to realise is that, while they are entirely limited by what fuel they can bring along. My Rhino is its own fuel source.
I can take the excess armour plates off, and throw them into the fire to keep the engine going. Thus giving me more fuel. Thus also reducing my weight. Thus the third time, increasing my speed."

"Also it has lovely wood paneling on the control panels."

>>17352474
Hammond (voiceover): The control panels were, in fact, entirely made of wood. And didn't work.

>>17352474
The wooden Rhino will burst into flames 10 seconds after the races starts

>>17352535
May: "Oh cock."

>>17352548
"Hang on, that's not gone right."

And meanwhile, Clarkson is out in front shouting "POWER!"

>>17352535
Only if the extermanatus left oxygen in the atmosphere. Though if the atmosphere lacks oxygen, or the planet lacks an atmosphere, that wood burning engine is going to have problems.

>>17352628
Not to mention the people who need it to breathe.

>>17352624
Clarkson: ITS A RHINO SUPERLIGERA.

>>17352628
As long as there is Oxygen in the Rhino.

>As long as there is Oxygen in the Rhino

Meaning it could burn until the fires cause a hull breach and then the external atmosphere (or lack thereof) extinguishes the fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e7R3y-qwZ0

Imagine them Doing this with a Leman Russ or a Predator.

>>17352739
And Sucks May out.

>>17352752
Hell, what about THIS challenge?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wKfpPrRVIo

One of the challenges is getting one of the hosts to say Chaos Spawn and seeing what happens.

Top Gear would make a good Propaganda machine in the 40kverse.

>>17352848

>>17352848
And Saved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i-op1aceUg

>>17352909
dat predator theme

>>17352848
Welp.

>>17352848
they say he's secretly Jaghatai Khan

Not that I'm complaining, but something is wrong when this thread can be considered /tg/ material but an Elder Scrolls lore thread is purged on sight.

>>17352848
Hail be to the drawfags of /tg/.

>>17352953
Clarkson: So, we just got this season's ad poster in, and-- Here it is! What do you think?
Hammond: It's missing something.
May: Gratuitous flames and explosions? Because I quite like those.
Hammond: No, it's missing me! I'm not on the thing at all! And since when was The Stig a woman?
May: Well, how do you know he isn't?

>>17351979

........i hate to quote a very over-used meme, but: what is this, i don't even

it WAS a rhino, right?


and disregard top part if you want, i suck at drawing realistic people

>>17353127
Yes, Mays has the wooden steam powered Rhino

Hammond has the agriworld tractor

Clarkson the half vaporized, wheeled Landspeeder, which has the former owner's butt melted onto the seat.

>>17352985
/tg/ - /topgear/
'nuff said

>>17353242
Fun fact, the Top Gear Dog's nickname is "TeeGee"

The big head is because of epic-scale.

>>17353190
About Hammond's "Land Crawler" tractor.
Do we even know what that thing is supposed to look like? (i.e. Was there ever an official image or description of it?)
Or should we just assume it's a tractor with the same hull and treads as a Land Raider, much like the Leman Russ was supposedly based on a tractor chassis?

>>17353338
>assume it's a tractor with the same hull and treads as a Land Raider, much like the Leman Russ was supposedly based on a tractor chassis?

I would go with that

>>17353338
There were some vehicles based on its chassis in epic.
http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat490036a&prodId=prod1101970 (The one on the right)

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat490036a&prodId=prod1101968

>Clarkson the half vaporized, wheeled Landspeeder, which has the former owner's butt melted onto the seat.
Don't forget that it was probably stolen by the previous owners.

You should make the landspeeder a Reliant Robin

>>17353489
Just a single tread along the center of a vehicle.

And its made of fiberglass instead of plasteel.

>>17353524
Nah, give it the three wheels, the landspeeder has the shape and everything.

Creed in the reasonably priced car.

"you did it in...CREEEEEEEEED!"

You know, I have always hated this kind of Warhammer 40k shoehorning, but this thread...

This thread must survive the night

>>17354364
... is a tried and true concept that has been done many times before and we have become very efficient at the process of refining it.

I don't even like 40k but fuck I can't stop laughing.

Clarkson: Tonight, we have an exceptional star in our reasonably price troop transport. You may have seen him when he purged the xenos and heretics from the Aurelia sector, please give a big hand for Chapter Master Gabriel Angelos!

Angelos: It is a pleasure to be here Clarkson. I would also like to thank you for the generous gifts on behalf of all the Blood Ravens.

Clarkson: What, you mean the snacks and beauty products in the dressing room? Everyone gets those.

Angelos: Yes, those, those are the gifts I was talking about.

Clarkson: Enough about that rubbish, now I understand you had some trouble out in Aurelia sector?

Angelos: A small amount, a Chaos incursion, an Ork Waagh, a hive fleet arriving, and the filthy Eldar sneaking about. It was slightly elevated due to an issue that other Space Marine chapters seem to have with us.

Clarkson: And what issue is that?

Angelos: It seems that they think we are a bunch of thieves, taking priceless relics from their chapters. These were all gifted to us, but our record keeping is far more thorough than other chapters. They have no records, while we do.

Clarkson: Right, well, let's see your lap then. A good line through the barking toad, keeping it fast through the follow through. You lose it a bit around Macragge, but you recover it nicely, and across the line! And you aren't stopping...

*Clarkson looks up to see Angelos and the couch are gone*

Clarkson:Bloody Magpies.

>>17355217
*The wheels on one of the troop transports they have in the studio are also gone*

May: I told you not to have a Blood Raven on the show!

>>17355433
>cut to a shot of a "meat" pie next to a key.

>>17355433

Clarkson: And on that bombshell...
*Sounds of bombs exploding in the distance*
Clarkson: It's time to end the show. Good night!

OP Here. I never expected this thread to Survive more than two hours. I am very Impressed.

You guys are awesome.

bump

Some say that he can pilot a Deffkopta without any fuel in the tank, and that he can only see the color red.

All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he IS the Stig's Orkish cousin!

>>17349857

>>And Ciphias Cain takes a spin in our reasonably priced vehicle.

They should have gotten Jergen. That man drives like a fiend.

>>17358965
Presumably, Ciaphas would bring Jurgen with him as his aid, and once inside the reasonably priced salamander-wannabe, Jurgen would proceed to, indeed, drive like a fiend.

A devoutly faithful fiend.