Zerg Quest. ZERG QUEST LXVIII.

Why is it so hard for me to type that properly, these days?

>>17508369
We can't just do orbital bombardments, we could hit our sister!

Warp in additional Cloak Overlords if we have to, we need to identify which faction is which before we begin firing.

Can't we force our mind into one of the fighting Zerg units to see to whom it owes allegiance?

rolled 93 = 93

What does our cloaklord see over Umoja? Can we pinpoint Kerrigan's location or at least get a general idea of where she is? also we should get nukeworld ready to turn Umoja into a ball of radioactive glass, just in case.

>>17508405
>>17508429
I think the simplest solution is to kill everything that isn't our sister. If we kill her most bewoved pet ultralisk... she'll forgive us... eventually. This is kinda what zergleks are good at after all.

rolled 100 = 100

Another vote for finding out who to shoot, before we begin shooting. Although that option is somewhat appealing.

>>17508471
Maybe send down a Zerglek with a sign saying TO: Kerrigan FROM: ANON?

She's got enough psi juice left to be controlling her forces, maybe we can hitch a ride on her psi signal and find out where she is?

>>17508429
>rolled 93 = 93

(Oh, you just wait. One of these days, things will get fo srsly)

>>17508405
>>17508429
We see war. It looks as though approximately half of the Zerg forces on the planet are fighting the other half. We can't see any identifying marks or patterns. They are clearly distinguishing themselves as friend or foe by which units their commander doesn't control. Without communicating with them, there is no obvious way of knowing which side is Kerrigan's.

Duran's voice rolls over our mind. "Cerebrate, I strongly urge you to reconsider. I have offered you no violence, and if Kerrigan were not intent to destroy me, I would offer her none, either."

>>17508511
"You say this after you have risen up against Kerrigan. After you have embroiled her Swarm in civil war. After you have declared war on our sister. After you have created a precedent.
"Well, I too, must make a precedent."

Can we psionically cudgel one of the fighting units to see whose side it's on? Or is the control simply too strong at that close range for us to be able to do it?

>>17508511
No doom for us today, Mr Evil GM


Whether or not that's true, she deems you a threat. Therefore, you must be eliminated. Sorry, old bean, you know how these things are, blood (or is it ichor?) is thicker than water and all that.

Get an invasion force ready. Kill everything that isn't Kerrigan and interdict any attempts to leave the planet.

>>17508511
That's the thing Sammy, she IS intent on destroying you, and unless the two of you are willing to explain the situation I'm going to have to step in and settle this my self, and I don't know you, Sammy.

I'll amend my previous suggestion of kill everything not Kerri to include Sammy. I want to grab both of them. Then we have then sit down at a table and we mediate negotiations. Oh and there must be jellybeans, we can't have negotiations with out jellybeans.

>>17508495
>>17508544
We could try to trace the psionic link. We've never attempted anything of the sort in the past, and we're not entirely sure how to go about it, but we could certainly try.

>>17508566
>>17508550
"She is intent on destroying me because I am not her slave. I think we both know how she feels about being subjected to the whims of another intelligence. I'm sure it's the reason you don't control her thoughts right now, isn't it? You respect her right to break from the Swarm, to be her own. Why do you not respect mine?"

"Also, do not call me 'Sammy.' I will not tell you again."

Well, Sambo, I hear what you're saying, but negotiations need both parties involved. I'm sure Kerri would be willing to let me act as a mediator during negotiations. But, Sambo, we'd have to talk to her too, so would you kindly let her speak to us, Sambo.

>>17508644
>We could try to trace the psionic link.
Do it.
And I heartily second >>17508691
to cover our attempts to trace the psionic link.

>>17508644

We respect her individuality because she is our sister. What are you? You may very well be a powerful mind, yearning for freedom. Then again, you may be a malign intelligence, hellbent on vengeance. All we have is your word, Sams. If we had both sides of the story, we may consider helping you solve this peaceably, but without Kerrigan's input, I'm afraid we have no recourse but to destroy you.

Sorry, old chap.

>>17508691
This. While trying to find Kerrigan.

>>17508743
Clearly I'm not the only one having fun with Esdy's name.

>>17508691
>>17508743
"Ha! Veeeeery clever, Cerebrate. I let you speak to her, she tells you which Zerg to destroy, and suddenly the negotiations are a little less formal than you made them out to be?"

Duran sounds genuinely amused by this.

>>17508714
(Roll 2d20)

rolled 15, 8 = 23

>>17508786
rollan doubles ones for lulz?

rolled 2, 20 = 22

>>17508786
By not letting us talk to her, you leave us with no other choice than to resolve this with force. We're your best shot at living.

>>17508786

Show a little trust, get a little trust. Your only other option is a horrible, ignoble death, SD.

>>17508786
Hmm... you're giving me more credit than I deserve, Mirrs, I hadn't thought of that. Your paranoia is refreshing, but irrelevant. If I decided to I could lay waste to Umajon and be done with the whole issue, I'm trying to avoid the hassle of doing so. And didn't your mother ever teach you to have a three-way psionic chat? Honestly MIrss, you're monopolizing my time.

>>17508870
And MY time IS very IMPORTANT to ME... Shamus? Damn I'm running out of pet names for you.

>>17508895
(2 threads in, and you're already tapped out?)

>>17508846
>>17508854
We feel like a child as we blunder around. We get no bearing at all on the source or identity of the commander of the Zerg we chose. Nothing at all.

>>17508870
>>17508857
>>17508854
"Hm. I suppose a conference call is acceptable, if she would be willing to--"

Kerrigan's voice shouts into our mind, "DURAN, YOU BASTARD! NO ONE crosses my Broods! I'll gut you like a fish, regrow the flesh and gut you again. For a THOUSAND YEARS!"

Duran's chuckle sounds almost completely genuine. "Ah, Mother. Affectionate as always."

>>17508895
And just so you don't get the wrong idea, Duriel, you're interrupting my stories with this civil war thing. I decide to cheek on Kerri durring the commercial break, but nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo, you have to be doing something crazy, and now I'm missing Downton Depot. I hope you're happy Duriel.

>>17508991
"Now, now. Kerrigan, calm down. You know how that's bad for your blood pressure.
"Let's talk this out. Tell me what happened."

>>17508991
Hi sis, so should I have been calling Durius here nephew this whole time? But no matter, now that we're all here, how about someone fill me in as to what exactly's going on before I decide to throw enough firepower at Umajon to crack the DAMN PLANET! I'M MISSING MY STORIES AND AM NOT IN THE MOOD!

(Naw I still got a few more, it just felt like the right thing to say before switching to playing with Duran, and there's still Duran Duran references to go through)

>>17508991

Ah, dear sister. Your son is such a delightfully devious rascal. I can't imagine why you two would be at each other's throats.

Please, if you would, have a chat with ourselves and your son. We wish to know why this division has occurred and how we can resolve this with the greatest percentage of zerg left alive as possible.

Do it as a favor to us, dear sister.

>>17509054
I think it needs more of an implication that we're inches away from glassing the planet because we have more important matters to tend to, like Dyles or our soaps!

>>17509054
>>17509035
>>17509014
"HE IS NOT MY SON! He is an overweening ghost with delusions of grandeur who got lucky! And now that I can speak to you, we can destroy him for good."

Coordinates sink into our mind, the last known whereabouts of Duran.

"Now, now, Mother," Duran replies, calmly. "You do us both a disservice. Were I but a lucky ghost, that would mean you had next to no control over your Broods. Anybody could tear down your empire. But I am not merely a lucky ghost. I am Samir Duran, the most powerful psychic the human race has ever produced. And despite the fact that you injected me with spores and tried to drain away my soul, I bear you no ill will. I wish merely to flourish on my own."

"You'll flourish while I TEAR YOUR EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO THE DEFILERS!"

>>17509140

Oh sister, you're so much fun when you're angry. As fun as this little family dispute has been, we have far more pressing matters to attend to. If you will not at least listen to your son, we will be forced to slaughter or forcibly take control of every zerg on the planet and force you two to sit and talk your problems out.

Please, dear sister, decide quickly.

>>17509140
Can we throw out a psionic eyebrow twitch? I think we should be overtly annoyed by all this.

Sigh, So, let's start from the beginning... your angry at D-Ran for taking half your brood, and you took half Kerri's brood because she tried to kill you. Am I right so far? So why did you try to kill him in the first place?

>>17509140
"You know, sister, I recently came across a list of things to do, for people such as us in our positions. One of them was "No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of infinite power, I will never consume an energy field larger than my head." I believe that this succinctly sums up why you should never consume a psychic more powerful than you.
"Now, as interesting as a diversion that this little chat has been, certain matters require my attention. Matters that will not wait. And I will not have this disturbance happening in my backyard while I attend to these matters.
"If no solution to this dispute is forthcoming from either party, then I'll take this into my own hands."

Prep nukes to fire on that hemisphere where Duran was last spotted. Don't care if the blasts will take out some of Kerrigan's forces as long as Duran is disrupted.
Warbrate and Gorn to prepare to enter the system and launch a ground assault.

>>17509140
Flourish in what manner Sammy?
What would you do if you would have your brood?

(Psionic tell Kerrigen to silence herself, until we have a clear picture of what is going on, and then tell her that she should retreat off planet just in case.)

>>17509227
(You sure you want to call him Sammy again?)

>>17509222
>>17509175
(You sure you want to threaten Kerrigan?)

(I won't stop either suggestion, but I thought I'd make sure you meant what you said)

>>17509213
"She tried to kill me because I wrested control of myself back from her. I took control of her forces because she continued to try to kill me."

"You have no right to control yourself. You belong to me, as all of my Broods belong to me! I will not release even one of you!"

>>17509227
But we're in a conference call, so we'd have to roll to whisper to Kerri. And besides, Kerri knows us, and is very resilient, so I'm sure she have escape plans out the wazoo.

>>17509266
Kerrigen, If we were not as powerful as we are now, would that be your response?
ANd Sammy, why did you not choose to embrace the swarm? It is through our will, and our gifts that you continue. If your contest with Kerrigen did not amuse us all, then we would have slaughtered you on the spot.

Yes, call him Sammy, he holds no power over us, and we have the nuclear ground.

And Bernie.

In fact, if we want to break his mind, we should call Bernie in to settle the dispute.
Psionically of course.

>>17509266
this is taking some time while we continue making threats and try making the kids play nice move our forces into overtly aggressive positions so they know we no longer find this shit amusing and that we really want to move on

>>17509266
No to calling him Sammy again, at least not until this whole mess is resolved. And as far as "threatening" Kerri goes, it's really more of a reminder that our current obsession is diplomacy, and we'd like to have a nice civil discussion. Warp in our fleet and set up a blockade of the planet to prove our point. If she complains, tell her that we're not going to help either side until we have proper decorum, and jellybeans, send jellybeans!

>>17509304
The point to to keep changing the pet names: Sammy, Sams, Sambo, Shamus, Duriel, Durias, Esdy, D-Ran. If you draw a blank for with a Duran Duran reference, we always like those in game.

>>17509351
Ah. Works for me.

Sammy-boy in this dialogue then.

...Bumping.
>>17509359
>>17509304
>>17509227
me btw.

Nice to /b/e back.

>>17509493
I'm trying to remember the last thread you participated in, ans I'm drawing a blank. Welcome back.

We let the two of them see enough into our mind that they can witness the arrival of our fleet. We have a massive amount of forces in orbit, now. We let our irritation about their inability to communicate slide through, as well.

There is a moment of what we believe is stunned silence.

Duran: "You would risk destroying her empire--killing her--out of...frustration?"

Kerrigan: "I'm beginning to think you're not here as 'the cavalry,' Cerebrate."

>>17509557
its... been a while.

Specifically on the order of... months?

Trying to stay present with everything... not always suceeding...

>>17509493
It's been forever and a day!

>>17509568
Kerin, shut the hell up.
Youre attitude needs explaining. We are the zerg, we do not dominate everything, nor do we endlessly destroy.

Samson my boy, you do not really know who youre fucking with.


Kerrigen, get your bony ass home, not your empires, but the whole zerg home. We need to sort priorities out, and have a talk.

Derp. You have one last chance to explain what you will do if we allow you to survivue.

>>17509593
I don't think we should be telling Kerri to come home, I think they should stay there and negotiate.
>>17509568
Maybe I'm the cavalry, maybe I'm a containment unit, or I'm the leader of a quadrant spanning empire that's engaged in a war half the galaxy away who just wants to have a nice civil discussion about what's going on. And hopefully we can all come to some sort of agreement that we can all be mildly upset about, you know compromise and negotiation.

>>17509568
"Kerrigan. I love you as a sister. But before I am a brother, I am the controlling mind of the Swarm. And right now, my attentions are focused on a threat of whose scale has never been encountered in the history of the Swarm going all the way back to the Xel'Naga. I will NOT brook anything which will interfere with my ability to deal with this threat.
"Duran. I am no longer playing. No more jokes. You are a threat. A threat by your very existence. Convince me, right now, why I should allow you to exist. Not by philosophical arguments of morality, precedent, or what it is to be alive. I want hard facts. Or I will SCOUR THIS WORLD TO ERADICATE YOU."

>>17509568
"Truly, you both show grave crimes against the will of the father. Kerrigan, I have done all I can to give you your freedom to learn as the father intended but your reckless self destruction is as much a threat to yourself as those you would seek to prevent. You have learned nothing of your purpose.

Samir... You claim a bide for your right to life, and a desperate one, but I see nothing of the sort. You are a truly mighty psychic entity the kind which would need little to simply hide oneself and slip away. In all the time of this conflict you have not sought to do what you say is your only purpose. You have never tried to leave this world, and you made no effort to call to me. Your motives are more than suspect though you make claims to my most noble cause.

I see you both as what you are. Impudent children. If you cannot come to terms right here, right now, I shall force you to make them and you will not like what I shall decide for you."

Those damn kids. I bet theres hope for em yet though. Best bet is to force a truce while we find where this duran fellow came from.

Lots a mixed messages from durans camp. First he was a child of the swarm, then he was a terran made zerg. Its all suspicious.

>>17509668

I support this

>>17509687
>>17509717
i agree with both of these

PSI distrupter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKeGwOKr7K8

Put this on to moralize the zerglings.

>>17509717
>>17509687
>>17509668
>>17509593
Duran: "It sounds like your questions about what I'll do with my freedom aren't just directed at me, Cerebrate. I sense...tension between Mother and you."

On the surface, the fighting has stopped. It's clear that both sides are retreating to fortified positions, mostly consisting of underground tunnels.

>>17509845
"No, Durpy my boy, they are ALL directed at you. You will not distract Kerrigan or myself with such a blatant attempt."

Assume that the forces retreating towards Duran's last known coordinates are his.
Tell Toaster to target all of the nukes towards those forces. Warbrate and Gorn are to move their forces accordingly and prepare for a surface attack.

He gets one more chance to explain himself, then we start the attack with "This conversation has served its purpose."

>>17509845
The Queen of Blades and I have a... unique relationship, Barbarella. It really entailed her not telling me what she was doing, followed by me inadvertently ruining her carefully laid plans, and when she did want something from me it always entailed, well... overwhelming military might. But, that doesn't answer the question of that you will do, Barbarella. I know Kerri loves he subtle machinations and plots, but what of you?

>>17509882
>>17509927
"You can see that I am a powerful psychic, Cerebrate. I know that both you and Kerrigan are gifted in that area, as well, but neither of you has the control that I have. I felt you, earlier, trying to pick out which side of this battle was Kerrigan's. I didn't even need to stop you. I understand that there is a psionic threat out there that threatens all of us. All of the Swarms. I could destabilize that threat. What does Kerrigan offer? A loving, consoling shoulder for you to cry on if this threat destroys your Brood?"

>>17509996
weve faced psionic threats before.

And you... This conversation has served its purpose.

>>NUKE HIS LOCATION!

((Mental note, practic psionics from locating hidden, to bruteforce, to other abilities.))

>>17509996
What psionic threat is this, Lady Lay?

(No reason to assume he's talking about Dyles, sure he probably is, but we can take Dyles)

>>17510042
No dissent on that?

>>17510122
let Tucamp weigh in.

>>17510042
I'm tempted to ask him why we should trust him, he who has locked us out of his mind, and has more to gain by betraying us once he is free.
After all, once he moves to destabilize Dyles, as he says, he will be beyond our ability to crush him.
And once he has escaped beyond our grasp, he needs only wait until we have exhausted ourselves against each other or one of us triumphs, then attack and terminate the weakened victor.

(So, you may want to consider the fact that, since I throw away canon all the time, Duran might be a GOOD guy)

>>17510175
yes. Simply because in cannon he was part of the hybrid stuff (still haven't really done much of starcraft2...)
And I can conceive of no possible way for us to subdue him for study, without the chance of him getting fee.

>>17510135
I though I had, if he's talking about some other psionic threat I want to know about it. And he can't tell us if he's dead, can he. And a though has struck me, just how strong of a psychic is Duran, and how strong are we. We've become the new overmind in everything but name... so... yeah. We might know know how to do delecate things, but we should be really strong when just trying to brute force something.

>>17510267
Thats a fair point...

Alright, I defer the dialogue to you, try to get more out of him, and then when he wont speak on anymore, smash him with the might of the swarm (Psionically) and prepare to nuke his physical location.

>>17510267
>>17510287

Thirding!

>>17510117
"You should know, Cerebrate. You're the one who told Mother about it, after all. Some sort of...tadpole?"

Kerrigan's voice bursts in, furious. "You STOLE those memories from me! I'm going to tear your mind apart from the inside!"

>>17510267
>>17510135
Dyles.

Eh.
Lets smash him, can we? can we?

>>17510340
"This conversation has served its purpose."

Order the attack. Toaster, I want those tunnels to burn. Concentrated nuclear strikes.
Warbrate, Gorn, I want your ground assault entering the atmosphere before the glass finishes solidifying. No half-measures.
We will not allow another threat like Dyles to gain a foothold.

>>17510340
Oh that! Right, I'm in the process of cleaning that mess up, or I was until this mess. But I must check something first, then I'll let you off of Umajon with my blessing.

(Psionic battering ram on Duran, if it fails nuke him in flight)

>>17510421
screw words, just brutesmash him with our mind!
And Bernies....
Because unconventional?
Thats like trying to read Luna Lovegoods mind,

>>17510374
>>17510390
>>17510421
(Well, that was unanimous. Roll 3d100)

rolled 65, 2, 33 = 100

whats the worst that could happen?

rolled 60, 8, 37 = 105

>>17510483
I am sure to screw it up if I roll...
So is it still best of two?

>>17510547
were fucked

rolled 47, 17, 34 = 98

>>17510483
Come on, let's nuke the bastard!

rolled 81, 99, 96 = 276

>>17510483

rolled 100, 84, 44 = 228

>>17510483
Commence bombardment!

rolled 30, 59, 66 = 155

>>17510557
Stupid bad connection!

>>17510557
why oh why couldnt this have been the first roll?

>>17510592
Like I said, bad internet, and really if it was one of the first two we'd be fine. Now all we can do is hope that CA is feeling kind.

>>17510623

Not bloody likely, this is about to blow up in our faces

>>17510649
Oh most assuredly, I'm so excited!

>>17510691
Unfortunately, it probably means we won't get skittles. Other than that, looking forward to it blowing up in our faces as well!

>>17510724
"Well Skittles, it was worth a try, prepare to die."

>>17510557
>>17510564
(I wish we could use these rolls)

>>17510539
>>17510547
As the missiles fire, Duran's thoughts sound in our mind once more. "Ah. I see. You jumped right to the nuclear option? How unsettling."

His voice is gone from our mind after that. Several overlords start to move away from the target before the missiles arrive, but our admittedly poor shot clustering makes sure that the blast radii cover them.

>>17510649
>>17510623
(You're not always rolling for you. Every once in a while, you're rolling for the other guy, too)

>>17510770

Make sure our space forces, especially our detectors, are interdicting any orbital traffic.

>>17510770
Touche CA touche.

So feel around for Duran's mind. Then we start apologizing to Kerri.

The nuclear blast zones are still hot when Kerrigan's forces arrive. Her Zerg rush into the tunnels and begin eviscerating survivors.

"Thank you, Cerebrate," Kerrigan tells us. "That will be all."

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17508369/

(I know it's a bit early, but I've been getting into work early. I don't like it. Also, my coworkers should never talk about politics again)

I feel as if we should smack Kerrigan for that "That will be all" dismissal.

and for y'know, being a bitch to us in general.

Certainly clamp down on her.

>>17511156
>Looks like she's ampin' for a clampin'!

Whoa, Clamps. Slow down.

>>17511083
But sis, you wanted him dead, we probably made him dead. The rest is just colateral damage!

>>17511083
I think we should make sure that Duran has been killed. Make sure that our blockade of the planet hasn't been compromised. He cannot be allowed to escape.

I'm apparently too late for this thread, but I believe our priority at the beginning of the next one should be establishing that Kerrigan is aware of precisely who is in control here. It's all well and good for her to be independent herself, but I think it's time the rest of her brood was brought under our control.

>>17511311

We should still let her control her own brood and perhaps be independent from us.

But we need more transparency here. If we're all on the same side, we can't all be super-secretive and essentially doing shit that leaves the other party in the dark.

We've been fairly transparent. We give Kerrigan regular status updates on the universe, we check in regularly. We even tell her when we've made major diplomatic breakthroughs with the Protoss and about the UED and Dyles. But Kerrigan doesn't reciprocate! She only responds when we check in, and she hasn't told us one thing about her overarching plans right now. If it weren't for our customary checks, Kerrigan would be up shit creek without a paddle or a kayak.

Admitted, we didn't tell her about the Xel'Naga worldship fragment we have. And she really helped out in turning the Protoss and Terrans against each other. But so far, she hasn't shared ANYTHING with us except for the occasional "HEY CEREBRATE WANNA DO SOME HEAVY LIFTING FOR ME?".

An alliance or family or whatever you call it is a two-way street. It's time that Kerrigan started reciprocating.