And I've forgotten to link the other thread. Good, this is off to an excellent start.

>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18280701/

>>18291787

I wave my wand. Then I go find Harry Potter and cast Avada Kadavra on him. It's super effective.

Fuck yes, I hope Drunk comes today, drunk of course.

Bibbity Bobbety Boo!

>>18291853

You sound familiar.

>>18291893

As do I, of course. I might be doing this a bit early, though.

>>18291894

Trying again. If this fails could I have a dice reminder please?

>>18291912

"dice+1d100" in the e-mail field, man.

>>18291911

Rolling, also hope my english is enough for this quest until Drunk arrives.

>>18291912

dice+1d100

rolled 85 = 85

>>18291932
If you want something done right...

Let's remember a Koranic verse to inscribe on it.

>>18291932
>>18291912
>>18291894
>>18291853

Oh wow.

rolled 54 = 54

Thanks, I forgot the 1 of 1dwhatever.

>>18291932

I fucking swear I wrote it in the email field...

Trying again just to see if it works since the 85 was rolled already.

Hey, this quest is back. Sweet.

Wonder if Drunk will pay us a visit.

rolled 32 = 32

I flip the wand upside down and press on it like a detonator
"SELFUS INFERNO!"

rolled 64 = 64

>>18291962

WHAT IS HAPPENING

dice+1d100 IN ALL FIELDS

rolled 10 = 10

Let's write the name of Allah on air in fire

>>18292019
>Let's write the name of Allah on air in fire
Could look cool.

>>18291946
You wave the ebon rod idly towards a vase, which promptly shatters. Or rather, explodes. The old man displays the grace of a much younger man as he dodges stray shards of crystal and snatches the wand out of your hand.

"Well played, my boy, but perhaps not the right wand for you, hmm..." Once more, he dissolves into mutterings, and over the course of the next half-hour you and the old man try at least fifty different wands, and have broken most of the shop.

"Oh for goodness' sake!" the man cries, dodging fragments of the counter. "Here, let's try this, a nice ivory and gold number, phoenix tail, about twelve and a quarter inch." He gives it to you, inching slowly away.

There is no need.

This is your wand. You can feel it. The grace of Allah flows throughout the curving ivory and gold latticework. You gesture towards the ceiling and a gout of silvery flame erupts from the end of the wand, leaving a charred script in the ceiling.

"And, that, my boy, is that." The old man grins. "Now, the matter of payment, of course..."

Oh golly, O Ace One, however shall you pay for your magic stick?

(This is a cue to make more backstory.)

rolled 17 = 17

I throw my wand in the air somtimes singing "AYOOOOU ALLAHLAYOOUU!"

rolled 9 = 9

>>18292074
Rape dollars. Payable immediately, in full.

rolled 87 = 87

>>18292074
Offer him use of our delicious brown anus, as he is old, and is of course a pedophile. Then close your eyes and pretend its Man-Love Thursday like at home.

What is Hufflepuff even there for?
Is that house there for the other ones to feel better about themselves?

rolled 82 = 82

>>18292074

I flail my wand at him, wishing him dead.

>>18292114
It's where you put normalfags.

>>18291992

You flip the stick upside down, and scream

>SELFUS INFERNO!

and that's how Diagon Alley got bombed by Al-Qaeda.

As a Muslim, I find this hilarious.
Keep on the good work, guys

>>18292114

Why don't they kill everyone the hat puts in Slytherin? They're all evil so it's a good deed!

>>18292114
Hufflepuff is the "I don't have low enough self esteem for Gyrffindor, and I'm not evil enough for Slytherin"

rolled 17 = 17

>>18292074
>Oh golly, O Ace One, however shall you pay for your magic stick?

Family (tragically killed by suicide bombers) were wealthy oil Arabs. Our princely bearing allows no other explanation.

So we offer him US dollars, of course.

>>18292108
>Man-Love Thursday
>google it
why does this exist

Tell him his payment will come from the saving hand of Allah upon his death, where his spirit will be whisked away to paradise.

>>18292135

Is this the end of the quest?


This wouldn't have happened if Drunk was here.

rolled 88 = 88

>>18292074
Quickly, show him the song of our people. And hope he's too weirded out by the singing Arab kid to keep asking for money.
If he asks you to stop, threaten an Arab boycott of his shop on religious grounds.

"Where is that devil woman? She had said that she will pay for everything that I require, from book to stick."
We totally have money, but we gonna make that scot bitch pay for everything.
"You seem to know of her, I am quite sure that you will be able to find her and retrieve the payment. Perhaps you will recieve my custom more. If you do not so take so long to find my stick." And exit stage left, motherfucker.

rolled 53 = 53

>>18292197

THANKS YOU

Now let's hope Headmaster wasn't serious about his last post...

"
‘Turn not your cheek away from people in scorn and pride, and walk not on earth haughtily; for God does not love anyone who acts proudly and boastfully. Be modest in your bearing and lower your voice; for the ugliest sound is the donkey’s braying.’
(Luqman 31: 18-19)"

Muslim guy again, you'd do well to ignore everything that is actually written in the Quran, because it is not half as hilarious as a megalomanical Arab kid.

Just pointing out, you should forget everything you know about Islam.

>>18292197
Oh hey, a Quranic quote:
‘Do you know the one who denies the (Day of) Judgement? It is he who pushes the orphan away, and urges not to feed the needy. Woe, then unto those praying ones, who are heedless of their prayers, who want to be seen and praised, and refuse (to give) even little things in charity.’
That'll make the asshole pony up for a wand

>>18292151
"Of course, my friend, do tell how much." You fish out your wallet and begin counting notes. The Hussein family has always been one of merchants, all the way back to the first Hassan Hussein, inventor of the used camel. And though your parents may now rest in peace(es), the family fortune is still intact.

However...

"A Muggle, then. Oh no, that won't do at all." The old man shakes his head. You pause, and feel the strains of misdirection coming to you.

"Where is that devil woman? She had said that she will pay for everything that I require, from book to stick. You seem to know of her, I am quite sure that you will be able to find her and retrieve the payment. Perhaps you will receive my custom more. If you do not so take so long to find my stick."

And exit.

The old man merely chuckles, and Floos Headmistress McGonagall. Her sharp Scottish accent rings through the battered shop.

"What has he done now, Ollivander?"

"Walked out without paying, for starters."

"Oh, bollocks. Get out of the way."

Meanwhile, you find yourself on the street. And then you hear the familiar strains of the she-beast.

"Mr Hussein!"

How shall you deign to great the djinni whore, O Grandest and Most Terrible Hussein?

>>18292272

Greet, goddamnit, greet.

>>18292233
>Muslim guy again, you'd do well to ignore everything that is actually written in the Quran, because it is not half as hilarious as a megalomanical Arab kid.

Look, Jesus said a lot of stuff about humility and non-violence and giving all your possessions to the poor. Turn on the TV, and you'll see rich Christians talking about how we should invade Iran.

Hypocrites are the majority in every human culture, and the rich tend to be worse hypocrites than everyone else.

>>18292272
>not overpowering and raping the old man in payment for his wares
RAILROAD
FUCK YOU OP

FUCKING FUCK YOUR GAY SHIT

>>18292233
I've been raised as a Muslim, since I was born in Indonesia.
Whilst the western devil culture has turned me atheist (ALL HAIL ATHEA), I understand the simple devotion and the rather mad fundementalism.

HOWEVER, this is fiction. and we have deemed that this fiction should be hillarious. So this guy is gonna act like he's the real last prophet. Fuck Isa and Muhammed. The world will see the POWER of Thale Hussein.

>>18292272
>MFW We're the decendendent of Crazy Hassan
"Woman! I require your Infidel money!"

>>18291911

Yeah, I pissed in the beginning of the previous thread because quest threads are gay as fuck.

>>18292272
>How shall you deign to great the djinni whore, O Grandest and Most Terrible Hussein?

We made a good-faith attempt to pay the merchant, and he refused to accept our money, doubtless intending to force us into some kind of servitude. We are familiar with schemes like this, and will have no part in them!

The fact that we forgot to leave the wand is admittedly not in our favor, but it feels *right* in our hand somehow, as if it already belonged to us.

>>18292272

>all the way back to the first Hassan Hussein, inventor of the used camel.


YES

YESSSSSS

>>18292272
"Astounding! The devil has remarkable anamnesis, to remember our name five minutes after having first heard of it! Are you done attempting to impress the great meteor of the East with your pitiful attempts at cognizance?"

>>18292293
>>18292283
I'm saying this quest is hilarious, and should continue being this hilarious. Basically, I'm trying to encourage prejudice on the basis of rule of funny.

rolled 59 = 59

>>18292272

Moon her. Also do high rolls or low get priority?

>>18292297
>>18292272
>descendent from the the noble Crazy Hassan
>not being generous and kind and paying in better-than-new refurbished used camels
Crazy Hassan spins in his Arabic-equivalent of a grave.

>>18292272
>The old man merely chuckles, and Floos Headmistress McGonagall.

What moon speak is this?

>>18292272
Look at her. "You bore me." and cast some fucking magic to either make yourself disappear or blast her back. We gonna go shopping with the McGonnigal IOU.

>>18292334
Devil speak. It is spoken by devils.

>>18292325

...True that.

>>18292305

This

1. Find a latin dictionary: invent new spells
2. Enchant every thread of my clothes with protection spells
3. Steal everybody's wand, and stick them together to make super wand.
4. Sell infinite food to muggles for infinate money.
5. Steal time turner and give it to myself so i wouldn't have to steal it

>>18292400
>implying the great meteor of the East, the camel that will mount the world won't use Arab words for his spells
>KAFIRUN

>>18292114
>What is Hufflepuff even there for?
>Is that house there for the other ones to feel better about themselves?

Let's say you wanted to hire a wizard. Would you want to hire a brilliant narcissist, a backstabbing bootlicker, a tortured hero, or a guy who's boring but dependable?

>>18292420
Why would I hire a wizard when I am the greatest wizard the world has ever seen myself?

>>18292411
>Arabic
>Not continuing in the tradition of Persian magicians

Pfft.

>>18292433
>implying Farsi isn't indecipherable gibberish

McGonagall attempts her 'scruff of the neck' treatment again, and you deign to cooperate out of boredrom.

She sets you back in front of the wandmaker, who looks at you with a fair bit of mirth in his eyes. McGonagall stoops and hisses in your ear.

"You try my patience, Thale. Now pay the man, before I lose my temper."

"I was more than willing to pay the merchant, she-beast, were he so kind as to accept my currency. Pound, dollar, camel, he would have none of it. As such, I have resolved to let you pay for my wand, and anything else I may require. Do you see a flaw in this logic, whore?"

Her eyes narrow to slits. You shoot her your best shit-eating grin.

"Fifteen pounds, young man." You hand over the bills, and she thumps down a few large golden coins. Your grin turns sleazier. "Now, about those textbooks."

In the next few hours, you find yourself armed with enough magical knowledge to begin your jihad on the white devils, and McGonagall leaves you back at the orphanage, after an afternoon of subtle threats and less subtle insults.

"Welcome back, Thale. How was the witch?"

Do tell, O Master of Shifting Sands and Biting Winds.

When the time comes, Hussein MUST into Hufflepuff.

Because the idea of a Dread Arabic Lord enslaving the wizarding world from a hufflepuff background is irresistable.

>>18292458
"Just as the wife of the cobbler is barefoot, and the wife of the tailor is naked, was the wife of this supposed institute of education without tact or discernment.
No surprise, though, given that she is a Western imperialist image-carving, donkey-enjoying witch"

>>18292462
How about Gryffindor, just to spite that Scottish slut?

>>18292501
DO EET!

>>18292462
Because we'll huff, and we'll puff, and we'll blow your house up?

>>18292512
YES! Plus a Gryffindor Dark Lord is plain funny.

>>18292568
Are we a dark lord, or the only shining light of Allah?

>>18292462
>>18292512
>Ravenclaw: intelligence
>Slytherin: ambition
>Gryffindor: bravery
>Hufflepuff: hard workers

Slytherin and Griffindor are the only real choices here. And given Slytherin the founder's preoccupation with purity of lineage, it's unlikely that our Husseil would meet the criteria programmed into the hat.

>>18292576
>Are we a dark lord, or the only shining light of Allah?

The latter of course, regardless of what the infidels may say.

Of course right now we're neither. We are getting a little ahead of ourselves. Like the Arabs say, don't count your sand-chickens before they sand-hatch.

>>18292582

Voldemort was either a halfblood or a mudblood. I can't remember.

"Just as the wife of the cobbler is barefoot, and the wife of the tailor is naked, was the wife of this supposed institute of education without tact or discernment. No surprise, though, given that she is a Western imperialist image-carving, donkey-enjoying witch."

"Oh, well then." You and Sister Agnes, despite worship of different prophets, both worship the same God. As such, the two of you have a kinship, of sorts.

But of more importance, September the First.

The following weeks pass in a blur, a flurry of textbooks and magical theory and explosions out of your wand, until, finally, the day has arrived.

September the First.

You and Sister Agnes are at King's Cross, looking for a 'Platform Nine-and-three-quarters', whose location your Western devil guide forgot to mention. Specifically, you and the good Sister are standing in front of the column between Platforms Nine and Ten, wondering where the hell it is.

"I've got nothing, Thale. Perhaps we should ask an attendant?"

You do not answer. You shall find a way around this puzzle, by the grace of God.

(Which, of course, means that you need to think of ideas.)

>>18292601
>Voldemort was either a halfblood or a mudblood. I can't remember.

Shut your lying mouth!

>>18292606
Wait and see if anyone else is doing anything nearby. Allah will provide.

>>18292598
I believe the phrase is

لا تعول الخاص الرمال الدجاج قبل فقس الرمال هم، سبحان الله!

>>18292606
All of the heretic religions use idols for worship.

Surely this Hogwarts places idols of the Wizarding sort for the heretics to spot?

>>18292606
"As they say, if the mountain will not come to Muhammad (PBUH), then he will come to the train platform. I mean mountain."
Then walk straight into the pillar

>>18292614
He was also a direct decendent of Slytherin.

>>18292614
>>18292601
They are the same thing. Mudblood is just an insult for half-bloods. He had one Muggle parent, one Magical parent.

>imashamediknowthis.png

>>18292606

Give up and lean against the wall between platforms 9 and 10.

>>18292582

>>Hufflepuff loyalty

Don't post if you don't know, dumbfuck.

>>18292606
>You and Sister Agnes are at King's Cross, looking for a 'Platform Nine-and-three-quarters', whose location your Western devil guide forgot to mention. Specifically, you and the good Sister are standing in front of the column between Platforms Nine and Ten, wondering where the hell it is.

Obviously the woman has sent you to a false address. She will pay dearly for making a fool of Thale Hussein!

>>18292606

Well, the most reasonable thing to do is to look for kids of our age with similar baggages.


I also like the idea of Hufflepuff as our house this will eventually lead us into being closer to our noble ancestor Hassan.

Start looking around for clues.
Inspect random walls.
See for other magical infidels and copy what they are doing.
If it works, it was divine inspiration.
If it fails, it was the devil's work.

>>18292649
No, mudblood is an insult for Muggleborn's

>>18292654
Oooh, Loyalty you say? Well CLEARLY we are loyal to Allah!

>>18292649

Actually mudblood is where both your parents where pathetic muggles and you're an abomination that doesn't deserve magic or life.

Come now Thale, was your illustrious ancestor not a master of mathematics, as befitting of a son of the Arab sands? 9.75 lies between 9 and 10, thus the same must be true of this devil-spawned platform.

>>18292654
Nah, you're a faggot.

>http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Sorting_Hat#The_Sorting_Hat.27s_Songs
>Mentions of loyalty: 1 song
>Mentions of working hard: 3 songs

>mfw every single house is perfect for Thale
>He is loyal to a fault, braver than any of the bunch, certainly has great ambitions and is the most intelligent man to walk the sands
>implying he won't be in all the houses at once

>>18292690

>Perfect for all
>Better than the rest

...Guys.

We're going to end up in Sparklypoo.

rolled 33 = 33

Summon one of our family's mystical used camels as practiced by noble ancestor Hassan since the elder days.

Surely it shall guide us to where we must go, that the Western whore did not instruct!

"As they say, if the mountain will not come to Muhammad (PBUH), then he will come to the train platform. I mean mountain."

You make as if to lean against the platform pillar, but something goes horribly wrong, and you end up inside of it.

How the hell does that work, you wonder. You attempt to rotate around, and behold a great train, scarlet and steaming and saying 'Hogwarts'.

You have a sneaking suspicion that might be what you're looking for. You emerge from the wall and grab your trunk, pausing to hug Agnes tightly and bid her goodbye. She has been a loyal friend, you feel.

You brace yourself, and walk back through the pillar, emerging onto the platform and into the throng around the steam engine. You board, and are faced with a choice.

You may either sit in

>the empty compartment

>the compartment holding a young man, and what appears to be a trunk full of books

>a compartment chock-full of stereotypical students, laughing uproariously and enjoying themselves

>the compartment holding another young boy and girl, who appear to be talking to one another about many important things

>>18292763
>Empty Compartment
We need to pray, after all.

>>18292763
sit in the compartment with the intellectuals. We must make them witness to the glory of Islam.

>>18292763

Either the empty one if we want peace and tranquility or the one with the lone guy if not.

>>18292763
The one with the bookworm. He shall be the first to see the glory of the Meteor of the East!

>>18292782
Infidel! It is not time for prayer yet, it is after fajr and before dhohr!

>>18292763
Soooo...
>Possibly Muslim Harry Potter
>Cool friend of the bookish nerd
>No one is going to pick this
>Also possibly Muslim Harry Potter
?

>>18292763

Shove the young lad out of the way with a "Beat it nerd!" and woo the girl with your religious knowledge.

>>18292801

I ain't telling you.

rolled 34 = 34

>>18292763

Sit with the loner, then proceed to sell him a used camel as a familiar.

Speaking of which, do we have a familiar?

>>18292763
The one full of the students.
Why?
I'll tell you why.
We walk into that compartment, towering over the foolish, vulgar and completely reprehensible rats of the West, silencing them with our mere presence.
They shall learn to fear the wrath of Khan. I mean god.

>>18292763
The boy and girl. We shall watch them; if they hold hands, we'll have to return her to Allah in order for her to keep her honor.

If they don't touch hands, maybe we can try to convert them. It will be easier to convert two people than a rowdy group.

>>18292813

No, the Western djinn-slut did not feel the need to purchase one.

>>18292805
laughingwhores.jpeg

I propose we go with the compartment holding the boy and the girl, should offer some stimulating discussion if nothing else.

rolled 85 = 85

Let's go with the book guy, so we don't get bored in the way to Hogwarts, we could try to be more humble for once, we want a quiet travel.

>>18292813

A camel

>>18292813
Of course. Ancestor Hassan would approve!

>>18292763
>>the compartment holding another young boy and girl, who appear to be talking to one another about many important things
>a man and a woman speaking together, alone

The slut. We all know what this means. Even if the authorities in this decadent land will not do their duty under Shariah, it is our responsibility to sit there to make sure nothing even more improper happens.

I think we're gonna need a roll for this one.

>>18292849
As do I. First three rolls, highest gets it.

>>18292856

Does my roll count? >>18292839

Stand in the hall and attempt to vend slightly used camels. Put the aquacamel on display.

>>18292856
Oh god, you all remember how to do that, right?

rolled 77 = 77

>>18292834

Then I propose the use of our limited knowledge of magic and the ancient practices of the Hussein family to conjure a faithful used camel as our familiar.

We will then use similar methods to conjure several of our family's used camel stock and sell them to other students upon this train.

rolled 48 = 48

Go with the man and the whore.

rolled 56 = 56

>>18292805

Here's my roll.

rolled 52 = 52

>>18292873

So that's "stereotypical students", then?

>>18292869
Yep, and it looks like were going for the loner
>>18292813
>>18292873
>>18292839

rolled 3 = 3

I still think we should teach those loud mouthed imperialists some manners, but c'est la vie.

rolled 86 = 86

>>18292891
And here's my roll for the loner

>>18292922

He purchases a camel!

>>18292813
probably something like a sand cat to go with the whole Arab theme.

>>18292938
FUCKING.
ADORABLE.

>>18292943
Also dangerous as all fuck if I remember correctly

rolled 99 = 99

>>18292938
No it is a Camel. We are the blood of Crazy Hassan. We have a camel as a familiar.

What's this? The Glorious Meteor of the East dares to conspire with heathen trash?

We must contemplate and pray in the empty train care, and submit to the will of Allah. Then we shall confront the studious ones in the compartment of the steal beast, and learn more of this Djinn heresy.

>>18292962

Well I think that's it.

>>18292879
So the 56 wins, for going with the male and female. Although I don't think hitting on the girl is our nature.

>>18292966

Everyone, I'm face with a conundrum.

Shall Drunk lead the way, or shall democracy?

>>18292966
Jeez, praying now is blasphemy. It is not prayer time yet, it's what, 9 or 10 AM? Wait until dhohr

>>18292981
Fuck namefaggin'

>>18292981
Anyone can claim to be him, although in this case I think his idea is better than anything else suggested.

>>18292966

Refrain from the studious ones. We must bend the will of the one with the trunk of Books toward the light of Allah, Praise be Unto him. From him, our influence will grow. From the faithful will the heathens be purged.

rolled 33 = 33

>>18292981
The Drunk, he's never steered us wrong before! Truly he is blessed by Allah himself!

You've got to be shitting my nipples here

>>18292998
BREAKING NEWS: Hogwarts institutes SHARIAH LAW, all witches banned from the grounds of Hogwarts.

>>18292998
...and the next Prophet of Allah returns!

>>18292966
>>18292998

>ITT: everyone is Drunk


I just don't know anymore!

>>18292994

We are the blood of Crazy Hassan!

If we do not even try to sell ONE fine used camel to one of our un-enlightened western students, then can we call ourselves a Hussein?!?

NAY I SAY.

Thus we start with the loner, for undoubtedly he can use the fine companionship of one, two, or even THREE fine used camels!

Which shall be accompanied by bags of quills and paper to sweeten the deal!

What ho, friends? Who are these apostates pretending to be me?

You make your selection, and head for the man and the books.

"Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I sit here?"

"What? Oh. Yes, yes, be my guest." His voice has the air of an academic, and he seems to be much older than most students. Perhaps in his twenties. A teacher?

"You don't look like a student."

"Good, I'm not." He sticks out a hand. "Isaac Ashcroft. Professor Ashcroft, I suppose. Transfiguration."

You take his hand and shake, and pause to ruminate over the possibilities of having a professor in your pocket.

Indeed, ruminate over how you're going to steer the subsequent conversation, Thale.

>>18292981
I rolled an 85 for the guy with the books, and a 99 after that for a camel familiar. I'd say the dice point towards the loner.

>>18292966
>>18292998

That's me. I read quickly through the thread and thought about it for a second before having a white servant be most appropriate toward our ends.

Although I will trip anonymously after this post. I don't want my inputs to ruin the fun for everyone.

rolled 10 = 10

>>18293032

"You look to be a man in need of a fine slightly-used camel..."

End up selling him five camels with bags of assorted school supplies, with copies of the Koran/Quran/Islamic holy book to convert him to Allah's holy grace.

>>18293032
>Isaac Ashcroft
>Isaac

It's a trap!

>>18293032

Transfiguration is changing one object into another correct? Do you have any tips?

rolled 21 = 21

>>18293032
"Who are you replacing, and would you like a used camel?"

>>18293032
Transfigure his shoes into fluffy camelfur-lined slippers

rolled 20 = 20

>All these drunks

This must be the jews' doing

Anyway be polite with the professor, offer him a slightly used camel.

>>18293062
Ishaac is a traditional Arab name, you philistine

>>18293073
>implying we're not all, deep inside, drunk off our arses

rolled 96 = 96

>>18293065
Rollan' Again for Camels

Transfiguration?

You dare create life out of the void? YOU DARE!
Such astonishing arrogance I never believed possible of the beasts of the West. Does thou think that Treading on the powers of creation and God himself will not come out of consequence?

And what of the life forms that you create? Do you murder them once they serve their purpose? Do you toss them toward the infinite void of death once those slaves to your cause have no use?

Thale Hussein

Tasisuh Enleh

I worked out our Dark Lord name guys!

>>18293107

Do you create golems out of sand and rock, same as the Hebrews of Solomon's time? God punished them for their arrogance. How will you defend yourself when you stand before the creator, and dare trifle with his works?

>>18293032
>Indeed, ruminate over how you're going to steer the subsequent conversation, Thale.

Now would be a good time to find out more about Hogwarts from a source more reliable than that devil-spawned harlot. He seems like a learned and reasonable fellow.

>>18293123
Heathens Lieu?

You lean back.

Now you are in your element.

"Say, what do you know about transfiguring camels, my friend?"

The rest of the train ride yields a sale of two better-than-new camels, and plenty of advice on Transfiguration. You learn that Professor Ashcroft is replacing the late Professor Rockheel, and this is his first time teaching. You learn that he's not actually a Hogwarts alumni, unusually, but rather was schooled at someplace called Durmstrang. You decide not to broach the topic of religion for the time being, but time being is faded as you approach the castle. And my, what a castle it is.

"Well, that's rather nice, I suppose." Ashcroft says, adjusting his glasses.

You are interrupted in your retort by a great voice calling for all the first years to come with him.

"That's me, I'm afraid," you say, and exit with a smile.

(d2 for weather.)

Thales Dark Lord Name shall be Muad'Dib.

He will lead the global Jihad, and none shall stand in his path.

>>18293104

"Excuse me Professor Ashcroft, but you appear to be a man who would most benefit from the companionship of a camel, of which I am selling."

"But not just any camel! No, I will not cheat you with some flea-ridden smelly camel! I will give you a clean, well-mannered, used camel! And not just one! No, two! Two fine used camels! Who will not mind being transfigured into something else! In fact, they will be more than happy to be transfigured! Because they are fine, used camels of the Hussein family!"

"But to make you pay for two such camels is no good! No, to commemorate this day, I will throw in a third camel! All for the price of half a used camel! With three saddle bags filled with parchment, because Thale Hussein treats his friends and teachers well!"

>>18293168
Yes, that's excellent, actually.

>>18293170
Oh damn. Such potential.

rolled 2 = 2

>>18293165
Allah shall have the weather be clearc

rolled 2 = 2

>>18293165
Weather?

rolled 1 = 1

>>18293165

We shall be accompanied by a pack of camels suited for the current weather.

We shall also be selling camels to the rest of the student body populace.

The camels shall induce dreams of converting to Islam, for the glory of Allah.

>>18293175

Can we pretend we said that during the trip?

>>18293178
GLORIOUS!

rolled 1 = 1

>>18293165
SANDSTORM OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE

>>18293176
>>18293177
You exit the train, and enter a storm of epic proportions. Lightning arcs and winds buffet, and a giant of a man holds a lantern.

"First years to me, come along now!" He has a good-natured air to him. You shall sell him camels, you think.

You approach the man, and say "Excuse me sir, but their appears to be a lake in the way to the castle. How are we to get there?"

"Well, it's not the best idea in weather like this, but we've got boats, don't we?"

"Oh good. I can't help but think that camels may be more appropriate, however."

You and the rest of the first years do indeed sail to the castle, a few of the old rowboats capsizing, but that's no matter.

You enter the castle through a huge pair of doors, and are instructed to line up in alphabetical order. You hear one boy behind you whispering something about sorting, and a hat, but then the doors open, and you find yourself staring the djinn-slut in the face.

Oh good.

(And that's a wrap, folks. I'll be back sometime next week, probably something like Wednesday. If anyone would like to archive this, that'd be excellent.)

>>18293256

Thank you for the quest. here's hoping it lasts at least some more threads.

>>18293256

Wednesday, eh?

I'll check back in a week when we are just starting our personal harem of western whores

>>18293256

Very well then, good friend! We shall await your return, and with more better-than-new-used camels!

Rejoice, fellow brothers, for this thread has yielded the sale of TWO better-than-new-used camels! Surely great ancestor Hassan would be proud!

But we shall make him prouder yet! For the next thread, I say we shall DOUBLE our sales! Four for the giant, as he seems like a man who would surely appreciate the well-tempered attitude of slightly-used-but-superior-than-new-used camels!

And we shall, begrudgingly, gift two slightly-used-and-refurbished camels to the Western djinn-slut, so that we may lower her guard and convert her to the glory of Islam and Allah!

Conquest through camels!

>>18293304

>dis gon b gud

Thread archived!

Vote here:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=hogwarts+quest

>>18293364

>Hogwarts Quest
>Not Hogwarts Quest 2

Let's be more careful next time. Anyway, voting...

>>18293385
I didn't think it was important. The titles aren't incremented in the other quest thread I read on the archive. The archive sorts by date automatically when you search.

If I'm around next Wednesday, I'll make it #3.