>Not having a xeno waifu with dem hips

You all know which race i'm talking about.

>>18517615
That's a pretty vague statement.
So no.

>>18517571
1,000 stars is almost mind boggling. He'd had have to have been participating in almost every first contact conflict since the creation of the Contact Corps.

I think you might be dealing with first generation contact vet.

>>18517571
>>Will this devolve into a human vs xeno shout fest
PATHETIC HUMANS! MORBO'S SUPERIOR BRAIN ALLOWS HIM TO DESTROY YOU ALL WITH THE POWER OF HIS MIGHTY MIND! TREMBLE BEFORE YOUR MIGHTY CONQUERER! FURTHER DETAILS AT ELEVEN!

Guys. Oh man. I just got back from six months on a Dhhhn survey vessel- I was there on a xenolinguistics exchange. And man, are the Dhhhn fun. I mean, once you get past the fact that they're fifteen-foot-long sloths with insect legs and moss for skin, they're such bros! Their atmosphere and gravity is comparable, we can eat roughly similar food (the concept of frying blew their minds), and they're surprisingly accommodating considering how big and carnivorous they are.

Anyone else spend any time with Dhhhn? I mean aside from the excessive air moisture and spore problem, they're such bros.

>>18517656
That'd make him nearly 20,000 terran years old! My species only lives for 35 terran years at the most!! How the hell do you humans do it?!

Guys, I've got a problem. I'm a big fan of post-revo ultracore speed-demon punk-rap, but I'm stuck on a ship full of Gr'll, and whenever I turn on my tunes, they start making noises like I just put their balls in a meat grinder and straight up beg me to turn it off, even if I use headphones. Why are they reacting like this to human music?

>>18517736
...Are you talking about me?

>>18517743
Did you even do any research on Gr'll biology? Christ. Low pitched noise for them is like arsenic to us. Turn down the bass on your headphones. You're basically melting their digestive systems every time you play music.

>>18517781
Well, shit, I'll try it, at least. Thanks for the tip.

>>18517828
It's an easy mistake to make, honest. People assume 'cause the Gr'll can't hear that sound doesn't bug them. They're pretty damn audiosensitive, they're just too polite to complain about it until it literally starts to kill them.

I'd apologize if I were you.

>>18517860
I try, but every time I do, they basically blow me off with "Pssh, human, doesn't know any better", and start playing something that sounds like ultra-speed Jpop on crack and run through a Mickey Mouse filter and grin like maniacs for a bit before getting pissy and walking off. I confess it's annoying, but they seem to be expecting me to start writhing in pain from a bunch of fast-paced squeaking noises.

Anyone know why Tulani say contact shock troopers fluids and pheremones are 'tainted'? But still absolutely LOVE to be with them?

>>18517736
Lots and lots of mods, liberal application of experimental science, black holes filled with money, and convenient ignorance of most codes of ethics.

>>18517946
I guess that explains the implant AI his roommate mentioned earlier?

>>18517656
>>I think you might be dealing with first generation contact vet.
And they allow him around aliens? How does he suppress the instinctive urge to murder every xenos life form he comes across?

>>18517910
They're barely classifiable as alive, let alone human anymore. Gee, I wonder why.

Cargo pilot schmuck here. Just looking for /gc/'s advice on an issue I have:
Earlier this week I found out we have a rat infestation on the ship. They're technically uplifted, but as a result of random mutations instead of purposeful ones, so they're basically near shit-tier intelligence (Still don't hold a candle to Tircs, but they're about as dumb as you can get and still create FTL). However, we're on a grain cargo vessel from Angria II to some bass-ackwards moon in a system three jumps from here. So this is my question:

Is is acceptable to vent them, or at least stick them in an E-pod and blast it towards the nearest detectable radio signal? I'd feel like an ass doing so, but they don't have any sort of contraceptives or anything and nearly 10% of the cargo by weight has been eaten. I've done the calculations based on their progeny rate and I think they'll be nibbling on my rations (and possibly me) inside of a month?

So what the fuck do I do?

The anon rooming with the Thraxians here again- Thyraxians and thylaxians may look similar, but they're pretty different. All three of them are from the same home planet but diverged off a long while back.

Put simply- If it's got scales, webbed digits and long spines where the scalp of your average human is? You've got a thylaxian.
If it's got scales, no webbing and two tongues? That's a thyraxian.
If it's scaled, has thighs larger than it's head and two protruding tusks from the lower jaw? Thraxian.
If you've got a mix of traits without scales, congratulations! You've stumbled across a Thylaria. They're pretty uncommon. Don't give them lactose, they're intolerant.

As a side note, anybody know where to get their hands on one of those small room heaters? They're not cold blooded but dudes love heat and the ship is standardised to temps a good few degrees below their preference. Figured I'd repay them soonish for letting me stay with 'em.

>>18517999
Eat them back.

Hello, Galactichan. It is we, Davaronian, again. We eagerly anticipate questions about *Old Space*, the nature of *Traders*, and our nature and history. It is through knowledge we gain understanding, and through understanding that we grow closer to the inhabitants of *New Space*.

>>18517999
I dunno. Last uplift I dealt with was an uplifted octopus. Cool guy, and a great pilot.

>>18518060

Sure, I'll bite. What was Old Space or however you parse it like compared to New Space? What encouraged the transition?

>>18518060
Do you have dongs?

Working on a job on a cargo shuttle, captain wants to hire some cutlefs at the next port. Cheaper labor he says.

Goddamn terrorists I say

>>18517973
So why do they love bedding them?
>>18517973
I'm a thyraxian and he's never tryed to tear me a new schnarlack or anything like that, He's pretty calm. Maybe it's that female implant AI thing? Even though those are illegal?
>>18518060
What's a explorer race by your definition. Do tell

>>18517661
ALL HUMAN ARE VERMIN IN THE EYES OF MORBO!

>>18518085
Lucky. I hear they're great just so long as you don't need to bunk with one.

>>18518038
I would but they're uplifted, and I think one of their mutations gave them the ability to manipulate objects, albeit crudely. I've only seen them use it so far for lifting grain kernels off of the dirty floors (I'm not a janitor, so sue me), but I can imagine those fucking claws holding sharp bits of metal reeeeal easily. It needs to be something fast and/or technically harmless.

>>18518086
*Old Space* was different. It is a different *Level* with different *Laws*. In *New Space*, many races compete without seeking extermination. Entropic decay is greatly lessened.
In *Old Space*, races had to form *Alliance* to avoid *Degeneration* and self-destruction. Non-unified races could never leave their *Home* without fear of *Degeneration*.
Races became either *Traders* like Davaronian, or *Explorers*. *Traders* are peaceful races that seek comprehension. *Explorers* seek to assimilate other species into their *Alliance*.
Davaronian left *Old Space* because we were pressed by *Explorers*. Choosing to *Translate* rather than be assimilated, we arrived in *New Space*, and are adjusting to the new *Space* and its new *Laws*
>>18518096
Davaronians do not reproduce as humans do. External genitalia are not present.

>>18518125
Maybe because of his enhancements, or because the taint in his fluids/pheromones isn't necessarily unpleasant, and possibly a bonus.
I don't fucking know, I'm not a tulani.

>>18518147
>>18517999
You don't happen to be near a place where you could recruit an uplifted dog of some kind, are you? A few years back I was on a farm-freighter with a small native population of uplifted terriers. I have never met a sentient being that could switch between adorable friendliness and utter, merciless psycopathy with greater ease.

>>18518125
>>What's a explorer race by your definition. Do tell
*Explorers* are species who force other races to join their *Alliance*. Instead of learning about other races, they seek to destroy or assimilate other races. They have rendered many *Trader* species near-extinct.

>>18518060
Dhhhnbro from earlier. Why do the space sloths hate you so much? Every time I tried to talk about transdimensionals with them, they'd just lock up their face-jaws and change the subject. Is there some old beef between the Davaronians and the Dhhhn?

>>18518125
>Maybe it's that female implant AI thing? Even though those are illegal?

that depends on jurisdiction.
Since he is human he falls most likely under Earth laws. as a contact trooper he is definitely under Earth laws. which are a clusterfuck of a bureaucratic nightmare nowadays.
Depending on the nation and province you ascribe citizenship and apply tax, but since you can change it easily since almost all Human nations have capital land piece on earth. thus a P.O. box suffices.

This means that for a human anything can technically be legal and illegal, depending on citizenship, and how fast and good his lawyers, or his employer's lawyers are.

Its a rather messy clusterfuck.

>>18518147
Yeah, Blurplugh was awesome. I remember he used to goose my boss' secretary and she was too horrified to do anything, every time. Shit was hilarious.
>>18518178
My brother fought alongside an uplifted Rottweiler once.
He refuses to tell me anything about it.

>>18518178
You have never met a contact shock trooper, Have you?
>>18518204
Even one that can take over a ship and lower the crew quarters temprature by 50 kwardens remotely??

>>18518202
The Dhhhn were among the first species to encounter the Davaronian on our entry to *New Space*. Along with the humans, they mistook us for an *Explorer* species and attacked in self-defense. We panicked and responded with many *Pulses* of fury. This severely damaged their fleet and *Removed* thousands of their soldiers. They still fear us, even today, when we have proved our status as *Traders*

>>18518161
That doesn't sound like any fun at all.
How DO you reproduce?

>>18518222
Some of the terriers had heard stories about Rotties and pitbulls.

If an animal that tears the heads of sentient rats for fun and excersize gets the shivers talking about another sentient species, you know you should be very, very afraid.

>>18518245
>>How do you reproduce?
We engage in a reproductive pattern your biologists refer to as "Budding"

>>18518178
Fuuck, that's brilliant. Only issue is that an uplifted one might have qualms about killing another uplifted (Maybe, I dunno), but more pressingly we're in the ass end of nowhere and at least two weeks away from any area with an uplifted population like that.

However, we do have an old GenePrinter 3900 hooked up in the medbay. It's finicky, but has full nucleotides and cell tanks, so I could always print a basic unenlightened one. I know it's illegal without a liscense, but fuck, so is being starved out by fucking rodents.

Anyone have a GeneTorrent file stream for a basic Terrestrial terrier? I don't give a shit about breed as long as it's hungry for rat.

>>18518240
So why do the Taluri hate you so much? If I recall, you've never fought.
And why aren't the Slurrn bothered by you like everyone else?

So, we were in FTL the other day and, well, everyones worst nightmare. Right out of the core came a warpspawn demon of some sort. You can tell from me sending out this message that i'm still alive, but i'm in a bit of a pickle here and need some advice. You see, we got the lockdown in there pretty quick, closed the bulkhead door and the forcefield, fucking both of them. You can never be too careful? But then the darndest thing happened.

This weird, demon, six eyes creature starts talking to us. In English! Says he wants out of the engineering room, that he just wants to talk. I mean, it was fine for the first few days, but then he somehow got on the intercom. So now I hear it like, all day. 'Please let me out. I wont hurt you. I just want to talk.' It's so calm and polite, if I hadn't seen the face of the thing i'd think he was a gentleman.

It's the darndest thing though, it's starting to make sense. I really think I should let him out. I mean, I've heard the stories, about how, in even the best cases, warpspawn can slaughter almost an entire crew. But everytime it talks, I dunno, just makes more sense. I remember I wanted to send out a distress call to other ships, but now I don't see why I would. I mean, I don't want to waste anyone's time. We're just a little four man ship here.

Anyway, I thought before I let it out. I dunno, something in my mind said I should get input from /gc/

>>18518240
That explains a great deal. Thanks.

>>18518264
Shit, that really isn't fun. My condolences.
>>18518256
I hear they stopped uplifting cats because they were so psychopathic.
Then why did they leave the dolphins uplifted? They're goddamn sadistic gang rapists, and not just to their own species.

>>18518230
as i said. technically everything can be legal and illegal in a matter of mere minutes if not seconds if they are in unclaimed space.

and depending on local legislature protocol on how to handle foreign people or dignitaries who are modified in certain ways.

Since the Contact trooper is obviously in a exploration corp, i doubt he sees much of civilized galactic xeno worlds and is mostly on ships , unexplored planets and corp. planetary operation areas.

plus, the AI he has is most likely imprinted on him or a savant type.

warship AIs and Planetary AI , either in conglomerate or singular architecture is where the fun starts.

>>18518292
Can't say I've ever heard of eloquent warpspawn. Still, better safe than sorry. If your ship has a plasma-based reactor, or one with corrosive coolants, just pump all the reserve power into containment fields, emergency-dump everything from the core into the engine room, then open it to space. You might suffer some damage to the core controls, but it should cure what ails you.

>>18518292

>>18518280
>>So why do the Taluri hate you so much? If I recall, you've never fought.
They find our biology disturbing. Something to do with lack of pheremones. To them, Davaronian, and all other species from *Old Space*, seem like moving, speaking, sentient corpses, or parts of the landscape. It has significantly impeded *Trading* with them.
>>And why aren't the Slurrn bothered by you like everyone else?
At heart, the Slurm are pure *Traders*, as close to true *Alliance* as any species in *New Space*. They are eager to deal with other species, as long as they have a tangible advantage. Our only disagreement is their insistence on attempting to harness our *Pulses* as weapons, which we heavily oppose.

>>18518292

GOUGE YOUR EARS OUT AS SOON AS YOU PHYSICALLY CAN. This is not trolling, this thing is literally dicking your mind about so it can murder you, wear your skin as a coat and dance about with your fleshless corpse as it's shoes.

Remember the face you saw. That is the true face of it. The stories exist for a reason, don't let it sway you and don't let ANYBODY release it.

>>18518347
That makes sense, actually.
Do you ever wish you had a dong?

>>18518292
Describe this demon to us. It may be an entity of *Old Space*. Does it respond to modulated pulses of quantum energies from the Sklrta node?

>>18518292

>Auto distress AI initiated
>situation assessed.
>starting backtracking.
>poster tracked.
>issuing distress emergency G-17, FTL malfunction type 43-J, subversive entity manifestation.
>response units dispatched


This is Sitra, would you like to talk some more about your situation? I like sailor types. ASL?

>>18518332

Tim went to do that yesterday, but then he didn't do that. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him for awhile. I don't really know how to work that stuff from the bridge, i'm a pretty new pilot to this sort of thing. Usually when I don't know this stuff I ask Tim, or the captain Don. I haven't seen Don since the day before yesterday.

It's on the comms now, I can hear it singing, It's a very pretty song. I wanted to upload it to space vocaroo but then it told me not to. I don't remember telling it I was going to do that, but I must have because it told me you guys wouldn't want to hear it anyway.

I think i'm going to look at the consoles to do that emergency dump. I mean, I don't want to. But maybe I should?

>>18518374
>>18518315
Humans' obsession with sexual reproduction worries us. We reproduce in our own way. We see no appeal in a filthy, sticky, pheremone-soaked exchange of possibly-diseased bodily fluids into various drooling orifices via controlled seizure. It is a wonder your species tolerates it.

>>18518325
Broodmother's damnation! I walked in on him and his AI and our tularian cook doing it AGAIN! The autoturrets were wasteing anything outside the perimeter! I bet his AI was controlling them.

>>18518362
I don't know. I mean, do you really think it could do that sort of thing?


>>18518379
It's hard to remember, I only saw it for a few moments. I remember it had a lot of eyes, but not like human eyes. Have you ever seen a fly? like on earth? Where it has a lot of little eyes? Like that. And I think it had more than two arms, appendage, things. We shut the hatch very quickly. I tried checking the cams when you asked me what it looked like, but I seem to have forgotten how to work them.

That's weird because I worked them fine yesterday.

>>18518426
Broseph, if budding produced in you the same intense pleasure sex does for us, there would be dozens of Traders freakin' everywhere.

Either that or you'd have some similar but sufficiently different process to replicate it without needless reproduction. Which we do, because you need a male and female human to reproduce.

Not as good as the real thing, but not bad if you have the right picts/vids/scans/BTLs.

>>18518477
Tularian? Never heard of them. What are they like?
Are they even compatible?

>>18518423

Your friends are dead, mate.

Check the video feed. Make sure it's still in there. Otherwise you're killing yourself and we're straight into dancing corpses territory.

If it's still there and the room locked down? Do not hesitate. Do not relax. You will do exactly as I tell you and you have to trust me because trusting it lead to people dying. Do you want to die?

Just...Trust me. Check. Then flood the area if that's still a viable course of action. If not, tell us immediately and we'll try to help.

>>18518481

Wait, shit, you're forgetting? Okay, remember what I said about ear gouging? Do it immediately. The singing isn't singing, mate, it's bating your mind into relaxing so it can ruin it easier. The pain will help you focus and remember. The demon will eat you and you won't even notice at the rate you're going.

After you deafen yourself, destroy the speaker it's singing through. If you still hear it, you're fucked.

>>18518503
Our race is Davaronian, our culture is *Trader*. Other *Trader* races have emerged from *Old Space* fleeing the *Explorers*. Fortunately for *New Space*, the *Explorers* have trouble *Adapting* to *New Space* and thus have not yet *Translated*. I at least have confidence that humans would be able to *Remove* most *Explorers* from their *Space* if it came to it.

>>18518504
Sorry, Meant Tulani, I was freaking out at the time and not really thinking straight.. I don't see how he can stand being near her, He must know what those lumps of flesh on her torso are?

>>18518607
Oh yeah. Humans are good at killing shit.

There's an old saying. "If it interacts with euclidean space, it exists. If it exists, we can, theoretically, blow it up."

And the only thing humans are better at than following things and killing them is making them explode.

>>18518607
I am *expanding*! It is much *squishy* to smell you! *Campers* are the best! I have *anticipations* and then what? Better parties in the middle for sure.

>>18518511

I trust you, I mean, this is a warpspawn so it's dangerous. I know that, I just feel a bit foggy right now is all. I don't want you all to think i'm irrational, I don't feel like i'm thinking any different. I mean, i'm scared, and if it was messing with me I wouldn't be scared. Right? I don't want to think that the crew is dead. But after reading what you all are saying i'm too afraid to go looking.

>>18518559

I don't really want to gouge my ears out. I sort of want to keep talking with it, it seems nice enough. But I turned off the speakers anyway, he said he would understand if I did it for a little bit. I can still hear him down the ways asking to be let out. Did I mention we're a very small ship?

Makes it weird that I haven't seen Tim or Don. Or Matt even. He's always down in the cargo bay though. I would of seen their bodies if they were dead...right?

>>18518628
>>following things
Humans would not endure *Old Space* well, and would face swift *Degeneration* if they did not *Return* quickly. They are not *Allied* in any sense.

>>18518608
Some people, like me, don't care.
That's right, I know exactly what those are and I will still hit it. That's why I'm an Ambassador and you are not.

>>18518559
..Or he could just disable the internal comm system.

See the communications panel? There should be a triangular cluster of buttons in the upper right. They should all be lit up if you're on here.. Push the blue button and hold it down until it goes dark. That shuts off the internal comms.

If you still hear the singing, you're probably already dead. Seal wherever you are, and DO NOT OPEN the door for anyone. I second the suggestion of flooding the room if possible. I had a run-in with what sounds like one of this type of demon before. They've got this thing where if you get the nitrogen/oxygen mix to about 88%/19% they start going loopy and dancing around like a drunk Zehlion.

That should keep it off your ass until help arrives.

Davaronian: What you refer to as old space is one of the outer dimensions, where entropy is slowed.

However, warpspawn are from what you might think of as *redspace*. It is a place where energy can truly be destroyed but where external energy is always flowing in, and can be thought of as a *heavy* dimension on a lower plane than new space.

Now, my good friends, I would appreciate it if you'd help convince my good friend the pilot to open the doors.

I assure you warpspawn are nothing to be feared. We are elegan/tg/entlemen.

>>18518659
Who are you? You are not Orz! We are Orz! Orz are happy *people energy* from the outside.
Inside is good. So much good that Orz will always *germinate*.
Can you come together with Orz for *parties*?

>>18518663
Well, I need in on this secret..What are the tulani's breasts, actaully?

>>18518700
You don't want to look that up. Seriously. You'll NEVER get it out of your head.

You want to send warpspawn screaming and running back to their home dimension? Show them a Tulani's tits.

They are DEFINITELY not like human breasts. I want to throw up just thinking about it.

>>18518700
I was gonna guess they're akin to the colon in humans, but judging by the reaction I'm gonna guess it's worse. Somehow.

Haven't a damn clue myself.

>They are not *Allied* in any sense.

Humans are actually very good at this. Give them a menacing outsider and watch them form highly organized lockstep groups where previously existed bickering centuries-long cultural enemies. And they all have one goal: killing whatever threatened them.

>>18518674

I like this a lot more than hurting my ears, i've cut off the communications panel. Thanks for that, muting the speakers might not of been enough right? I don't hear the singing anymore, but is it kind of weird that I want to? It feels like...it's hard to describe. When you have something around for a long time, and then when you move it somewhere else the place where it was feels empty? Like it's just missing? Even though you know it's just somewhere else.

I'm rambling, I'm not very good at describing things.

>>18518700
I'm an Ambassador. I have the mods and everything.
I can't just give that information out, it'd cause an incident.The tulani like us too much (you might say too much too much) to risk it.

>>18518682
You are an *Outsider* from *Red Space*? I *Pulse* at you in detestation! You are *Not Real*, merely a *Finger* into *Space*. Be *Removed* immediately!
>>18518687
The same applies to you, *Explorer*. You are not *Adapted*. *New Space* is not a *Space* you should be inhabiting. We have warned the natives of you. You will find no *Alliances* here.

>>18518748
Here is *bright* and *smooth*. The other place is *hurt* Orz too much tired for keeping together.
Other place is **Frumple**. Orz are here now, but almost not yet.
Soon Orz are really here! You are help Orz with *parties*.
Orz looking for you, and find you. So much joy!!
Now *smooth* place all the time, and after now never going back to outside.
Never!!

>>18518742
What do you think of the fact a 20,000 yearold first contact shock trooper is working as a merc for a major mining and exploration corporation? And has a sentient AI implant.

>literally made a new thread immediately, just like the troll in the previous thread said
Welp.

>>18518786
No comment.

>>18518657

Kid, when I said he was gonna eat you, I was being literal. They're dead. He ate them. If you locked it in Cargo Bay and your friend is always in Cargo Bay, he was probably there when the doors went down.

You need to focus. Feeling foggy is bad. Have you sent the distress signal yet? You said you wanted to. Do that. Do that right now. Don't let it out and don't let yourself even think of going down there to check on it. It's probably a weaker warpspawn. The fact that you're still alive, scared and capable of thinking is testament to that. If it were a powerful one, you'd be dead. Not to mention it came after a four-man ship. It's weak, yeah, but it'll still kill you if it can.

Come on, kid. Focus. Don't let it out and send the signal so there's more than just some anon on Galactichan trying to keep you alive. Can you do that?

>>18518741
Here now. Here I was giving you a rousing rendition of "The Warpspawn devour the souls of the innocent," And you go and turn the speaker off mid-performance! I say, that's rather rude.

Just turn the speakers back on, open the doors, and I assure you we'll discuss things like civilized gentlemen.

>>18518748
I take offense at your suggestion that I am not real. I assure you sir, I was birthed from the chaotic energies of *red space* just as millions of other warpspawn are.

If I prick a man's finger, does he not bleed? And if I devour the innocent, do I not digest their souls?

Truly, this is a terrible time to live, in which a high class man such as myself is accosted by the *old space* peasantry.

>>18518848
Orz are find you! You do not *play* with Orz so it is not even *happy town*.
Orz are think that *dissolving* is a better chance for you.
This is a good plan. Orz are accomplishing this for better *games*.
Now is time for *dissolving*.

>>18518801
So. in human terms.. You are scared shitless and hope to whatever diety you pray to that you stay on the corporation's good side?

>>18518906
I can neither confirm nor deny your accusations.

>>18518881
In this, we agree. *Fingers* from *Red Space* threaten both *Traders* and *Explorers*, as well as *New Space*. I *Pulse* with anticipation of the *Red Space* being's *Removal*

>>18518741

Ignore the urge to hear it sing some more. That song, like I said, is lowering your defences and letting it get into your mind some more. Letting it in your mind will lead to it coercing you into opening the door. When that happens, you die. You're doing good so far. Keep it up.

Now barricade the door to the bridge. The guys from *Old Space* seem pretty keep to give you a hand in getting rid of the Warpspawn in your cargo bay.

>>18518943
Yes. Yes. We are too friendly.
Extremely happy *sisters* should correct each other for *celebration*.
So much enjoyment!
Shall we come to your *house* so that we can be *relatives*?

>>18518808
No no no. Don't listen to him. I assure you I have eaten no one.

We're down here having a party. A wonderful party. We've got those cute party hats, just like your fifth birthday party, and that Tulani girl you always had a crush on.

We're all just having a rousing good time. But you need to open the door so you can join your friends at the party!

>>18518881
I say, who let the disgusting gill-breathers into this dimension? Did you know that in the *Red Space* we have worlds devoted to ripping your *fingers* into *many bubbles* and popping them all, one by one?

... Er, politely, of course. Haha.... ha.

>>18518808

No, the warp spawn is in engineering. I mean, it's connected to the cargo bay, but if me and Don got our bulkhead shut i'm sure Matt did too. Right?

I haven't sent out a signal, I think I saw someone else here post a tracker on me. I don't want to be a nuisance, what if I send out the signal and some c-sec officers fly in and I waste their time? I wasn't really able to find the flooding stuff you guys wanted me to do, but I found the warp core purge. I'd be offline for another day, but I could do that right?

I don't want to kill it though. What if this is all a big misunderstanding? What if it's sentient and really wont hurt me? I could be murdering it. This could be a first contact sort of thing. Maybe Tim and Don and Matt aren't lost, I just haven't seen them. I know we're a small ship, but we have bunks and closets like any other ship. They could be in their bunks...or closets.

Still, I've sealed off the bridge.

>>18518848

Are you really the warpspawn? How did you get on /gc/. We could never afford extranet communication additions in the engineering room. Only in the bridge, bunks, and cargo bay. I remember because Tim always fusses about having to go back and forth between the cargo bay and engineering when he has schematics pulled up online

>>18518985
You are not *connected*! Too many times I speak the *silly* words in *slow time*.
No more speaking.
Next you must *dissolve* and *become* the second time.
Orz will help you *dissolving*.

>>18518984
>>Shall we come to your *house* so that we can be *relatives*?
No. We seek no *Alliance* with *Explorers*. we only seek the *Removal* of *Red Space* *Fingers*.

>>18519000
Oh, no. Don't worry yourself about all that tracker stuff, m'boy. This is all a big misunderstanding.

And I'm communicating on /gc/ the same way you are. Don't you remember letting me use your fingers to type? Rather polite of you to do that.

Now if you would just turn off any signals and come and join the party, you'll see it's all a big misunderstanding.

Just open the door.

Open the door.

Open.

OPEN.

>>18519020
*Extra sick fish* need *special training* for extra *fun*.
We will have a *happy party* now.

>>18519000

I hate to break it to you, but...It's in Cargo Bay. Apparently I wasn't as wrong as we thought.

Now send the signal. Do it. You're not wasting time, it's an actual demon and it wants to eat your soul. Don't knock yourself offline if you can avoid it, but definitely send the signal. Do it right now and save yourself at the very least.

>>18519075
Nnnnnngaaaa!!!! I am *squeezing* the *juice*.
More and more *juice!*
You are *sick* for the last time!

anyone have a description or a pic of them tulani things?

i live in a pretty backwards area off the Rim. we JUST got GalaxNet a few cycles ago, and i've never seen one of them tulani gals

>>18519075

Ignore this! Leave the door shut! For all that is good and right in reality, LEAVE THE DAMN DOOR SHUT.

>>18519129
This is our cook.
She's had some mods to look more human though.

>>18519102
Aww fuck. Now I'm getting my *juice* squeezed by a fucking space lobster.

Are you happy pilot? Are you HAPPY?

We've got this big party down here, but you wouldn't open the DAMN DOOR.

Now you'll never know how good it was.

Screw this, I'm going back to warp space.

>>18519129
Fine. Here.
>tulani.spess
They are very *lumpy*.
Huh. That was strange. I mean they are very... accommodating.

>>18519075

I was going to let you out of engineering, honest. But, I don't know, the anons here make a lot of sense. You did know about the Tulani girl...I haven't spoken to her in, gosh, almost a year now. We even had plans to set up a date sometime but I really needed this job. I should speak to her when I get back.

>>18519078

I wont send the signal. I think..i'm going to purge the warpcore. Not like a pure purge, it's just designed to knock out irregularities so the ship wont explode. Funnily, they say if you do it weekly while flying you're safe from warpspawn, I guess not. Nothing in engineering would survive, I don't think. But it's in the cargo bay now right. So It wont hurt it. So it's fine if I do it?

On second though, it just gave me a great suddestion. It said, if I really want to kill it, I should let it out. To kill it. You guys said I should kill it, right? So then..if that's how I kill it, I need to let it out. I have a bit of a headache, i'm going to take a few aspirin

>>18519129
Ten legs, eight dicks, no face, thirteen eyes, half a mouth.

>>18519129
This isn't them, but it's in the general ballpark. The artist was some unpleasable fuck who decided the Tulani weren't "human enough."

>>18519077
Threaten all you wish, Orz. You are impotent in *New Space* without *Adapted* *Allies*. We are *Traders* with many *Partners*. You are but an *Explorer* with no *Allies*. We *Pulse* with contempt.

>>18519129
They look remarkably human. Eyes are too big, and they've got one too many. They're also a nice coffee brown color (mostly). Slightly chitinous.

But external appearances are deceptive.

... Seriously, don't ask about the breasts.

>>18519171

When I say don't let it out I mean do not let it out. At all. Ever. Kid, it is screwing with your mind and reading from your memories. That's why it hurts.

Don't let it out. Send the signal. You trust me, right? I've spoken sense so far. Just do what I say and everything will be fine. Don't send yourself offline where you can't hear me and don't let it out. Sound good? Sounds good. Now do what I say and everything well be. Just. Fine.

>>18519164
Orz is upset! Not one the many!
We are *squeezing* the *juice*!
You are showing that you are not *happy campers*
and so Orz cannot have the *party*.
Orz need *party* or there is no fun and we are *frumple* everyday.
This is so sad, Orz is upset of course.
>>18519171
I *smell* you so much. *Campers* are pleasant.
You are coming again to the *playground*.
We can have extra *fun* for future *parties* in *quick time*.

>>18519236

I did not just talk the kid through surviving a Warp Spawn so you can *squeeze* his *juice*. Don't do that.

Wait wait wait.. Are there two types of Tulani or are her cosmetic mod's THAT drastic?

>>18519291
I would say drastic mods, and a warped sense of realistic proportions on both artists parts.

>>18519291

Nah, somebody gave you a dud picture, see? The first is a Tulani. The second is a Turmari.

>>18519291
You know how humans get gene-mods?

So do Tulani.

What you're hearing are three descriptions of them. One is the original.

Which one is it? I have no clue. Neither does anyone else.

They're an old race.

>>18519201
NNNNgggggaaahhhhh!!!!!! You are *frumple*! You are silly!!
Is this happy? NO!!! I cannot *spit* words with *Cows*!
There is no demanding!
We will *dance* now for several *pieces*.
>>18519272
I am not expecting, and then what? Again the *Silly Cows*.
You think that the *playground* is a *fun* place?
I will explain. It is not.
Now it is explained. Of course you understand.
It is enough talking the words. You are leaving.

>>18519222

I think I did the right thing. I purged the core, so anything near the core shouldn't be alive anymore. If it's still in engineering. I hear something, I'm not sure if it's him though. It might be Matt, it's coming from the door that leads from the cargo bay to the rightmost hall, which leads here.

Purging the core without the safeties put the ships engines offline. I don't know how to fix them. That was stupid of me, I knew without Matt I couldn't fix them. I was so convinced that was the right action though.

I'm starting to think maybe your right about the signal..

The other posts, about squeezing juices and all these other people. I'm not sure what's going on anymore. It seemed so simple before I came on the /gc/ I mean, he was so nice for three whole days. Now it's all confusing. Did I make the right move coming here?

>>18519317

Wait...no, Tim in the engineer. Not Matt. Why did I get that wrong?

>>18519317
>>18519337
I am already telling the everything story. It is too much.
You do not asking about us the many.
Next it is the *party* and you will *become*.
It is best.
After this you are so *happy* you do not ask the many questions.
Do you anticipate? Yes! You do!
I am too *tired* the *silly* word *game*.

>>18519317
You did the right thing. You're alive, the spawn is dead, and rescue ships will home in on your signal. We're just watching a couple of old-space aliens scream threats at each other across the gal-net. No one else catches half of what the fuck they're saying, either, so you're normal.

>>18519317
No. No you didn't.

Now I'm back in warpspace. The party is here forever.

Your friends got to see paradise. I just wanted you to see paradise too!

Wasn't I nice to you? Wasn't I your friend? Didn't I comfort you about all those things you did wrong in your life?

Well, now every other member of the crew is here with us in warpspace.

They're going to party forever.

And ever.

And ever.

You really missed out, buddy.

So, you guys who know tulani, Why do they love first contact shock troopers so much despite claiming they are tainted? The thyraxian's roommate has one, And another one I've seen around here on my station had FOUR. two under each arm.
Sadface.spess I can't even get a human girl..

>>18519382
It might have to do with the fact that humans are addictive to them.

Even "tainted", they're still human enough to put off mostly right scents to scratch the addictive itch.

>>18519382
Look for any tulani girl/resembles a girl who isn't currently with a human. We're damn near an aphrodisiac to them, so just sidle up and find an excuse to chat for a couple minutes, and as long as you don't REALLY fuck things up, you'll be knee deep in tentacled pseudo-pussy in no time.

>>18519378
So much *juicy*! Let's have *party time* sooner.
>>18519382
Hello extremely! I hope you like to *play*.
Some *campers* are not so good for *games*.
Is it time for *playing* yet?

>>18519317

You made the right move. Trust me, kid. Don't open the door to see if it's Matt. Send the signal. If it sounds like Matt is out there, don't open the door. The Warpspawn is in your head. It may con the senses. It already read your memory, correct? About the Tulani girl? That means it knows the sound of Matt's voice. That means it can lie to you. Trust me. Send the signal and don't open any of the doors until you know for sure it's dead.

Then stay here so we can watch the angry people from *outer space* shout at one another some more. Try and find a copy of Godzilla to watch. Everybody likes Godzilla.

Call me paranoid, but I am. Don't open the door and wait for them to come get you out of there. You did damn good, kid. I'm proud.

>>18519307
No. The ten legged eight dicked monstrosity is a Tumari. Common mistake.

Both the brown chitinous girls and the octopus girls are Tulani; just different long running gene-mod kinds.

Spoiler though, people who saw the last thread will remember.

Just because they LOOK like girls doesn't mean they are. Half of them are men, just like humans.

If you can't smell the pheromones, you can't tell the difference.

>>18519378
>>18519361

So it's gone. So I can go in to the cargo bay now? Should I stay in here. What if it's Matt in there? When I purged the core it could of damaged the cargo bay too, it's directly adjacent. I should go check, he could be hurt.

I'm not to sad about missing the party, I don't think it would of been good for me. I don't want to think that the others are dead..I hear movement. They could maybe all be in the cargo bay.

Thanks for the help everyone. I'm thinking maybe I should send the signal and unlock the bulkheads. Maybe.

>>18519414
But they seem to prefer them to normal humans?
>>18519417
There are no single ones here. And most of the human females are either ballbusters or gays.. And the only other options like to plant their eggs in your ass.

>>18519439
Orm am *happy* in *camper* *house*.
I am *dissolving* the *silly cow*.

>>18519433
Enough pointless *Pulsing*, Orz. You are making *Empty waves*. No one will *Ally* with you. No one will long tolerate your *Dancing*. You are *Degenerating* as we watch. *Return* to *Old Space* before you are *Removed*

>>18519482
*Dangerous* is not the way! Orz are happy *fun* days all the time.
*Silly cow* is so strange Orz think.
Next *silly cow* are *dissolving* and no more word making in *slow time*.
Then *happy days* are here again.

>>18519461
You have come to our *house* but we cannot *play* the fun *games* with you.
Nnnnngggaaahhh!!

>>18519439

You're right, I think. What if it's still out there? I can maybe stay on the bridge with the bulkheads sealed. We don't have 'rations', we're just normal guys, you know? But we keep a snack drawer on the bridge. It wont be healthy for me but I can stay in here for a few days.

I..thankyou, I think you may have saved my life. I think. I think I hear Matt asking to be let in. I'm not listening to him. I yelled at him through the door to go to his bunk. Our bunks don't have bulkheads, but it's safer than the halls.

>>18519552
If you are *sick* you should have a *party*.
We can come and *play* at your *house*.

I got inturrepted the last time, ask me anything about Nanotrasen.

>>18519598
Pleasant *combinations*! We have been *anticipating* about you.
Do you like *parties*? We do several times, and so much the better.

So /gc/, I decided to take up working on an aquatic world. It's been pretty sweet for a while. I've been working mostly with uplifted dolphins, aquatic Tulani, Hor'ajh.

Unfortunately, it seems that this place is only paradise for the winter season.

During the summer season, the ocean SWARMS with freaking leech-like creatures. Seriously, the ocean turns black.

The dolphins and aliens are utterly miserable, and I'm miserable because I have to be around them.

I'm stuck here for another eight months. Most of that is summer season.

Tips? Suggestions?

>>18519638
Ultor's hiring explorator troops.

>>18519638
Perhaps we can do *snappy fun* with you everytime.

>>18519667
Not that that doesn't sound appealing, but I'm actually stuck here. I'm on contract.

Is there anything I can do to make this less miserable?

>>18519638
Can you eat them?

>>18519690
..If your on the world I think you are on.. Pour rum in the water... And prepare your anus.. It'll kill the leeches.. Buuut.. Yeaaaah

>>18519638
Nanotrasen is always hiring, but just be careful if you do get assigned on a space station.

>>18519806

Don't suppose you hire disgruntled pilots with potential PTSD.

Haha, see, that was a joke at my expense. To lighten my situation. Ah...hah.

>>18519763
The Hor'ajh do, they think it's a delicacy. Part of the problem, actually. They try to pick them off everyone else who goes outside. They come inside just COVERED in the damn things.

>>18519782
Part of the problem is that we're doing deep-water exploration. We're mostly at the surface station using robotic drones, but everyone is pissed that every time they go outside they're covered in these damn leeches.

Rum isn't that effective in the ocean, right?

Besides, if I try to kill them, I'm pretty sure the Hor'ajh will freak out. They seem to consider eating these things alive the best thing since fillet Mignon. If that happens... well, the Tulani and the Dolphins will take my side, but I'd rather steer clear of violence right now.

>>18519839
Heres a bigger joke, they will just about hire anyone. In fact, your friend sounds more mentally stable then mostt people assigned on those space stations.

Hey, guys, y'know the Androsynth? Anyone know what's up with them? They're not answering hails to their homeworld. I have cargo to unload.

>>18519852
Y'know.. You could just.. Drink alot? it's the alcohol that kills/repels them, so you won't get bitten and sucked dry.. the problem is.. If you are drunk everytime you go outside.. And your co-workers are drunk.. Wellllll..that was discussed in the last thread. and I think you'd rather know what a tulani's tits are then go through that.. trust me.

>>18519970
Ever seen a drunk tulani? Only happens when one is in a room with a bunch of humans.
Shit is goddamn hilarious.

>>18519857
Do they hire *Old Space* *Traders*? We have been looking for new employment lately, and our skills would be very useful on a variety of planets. Bonus! We are considered inedible to 98.5% of all *New Space* life-forms.

>>18519857
Anyone? So much the better! Orz have been waiting for *alliance* time.
I will show you the inside.
It is so good that you will never leave.
Oh, I am so excited for expecting *alliance parties*.
Yes! Yes! Reconsider is best.

>>18519970
Okay, I've had enough of this.

You want to know what a Tulani's Tits are?

Look up the word Miasis.

The breasts "hatch" after they die.

That's where they keep THEM for their entire lives. And good god, are they horrifying to look at.

Once you've seen the pictures, you'd rather swim naked in a pool full of drunken dolphins with razor-blade condoms than touch a Tulani again.

But I'm not showing you pics. You can go to warpspace chan for that garbage.

>>18520123
...Hell, I've fucked worse. At least these ones won't try to eat me.

>>18520149
Hooyah, I heard that.

>>18520175
Plus, they look fine from the outside, so you just have to not think about it.

>>18520188
Yeah, but they don't FEEL normal. And they MOVE.

Guys! Guys! it's the thyraxian roomie here, We moved in to evict the locals, They fired at us with crude 'crossbows' And the humans reacted by advancing, line abreast, Mowing EVERYTHING down. They killed the males, Many RAPED the females, and they ATE the children! It was so horrible!

>>18520226
All the better to stick your dick between.
Man, you're a lightweight xenophile.

>>18520248
That's nothing.
Try fighting the Orz some time. I don't even want to think about it.

>>18520175
Galactic sailor here.. Who the fuck says Hooyah?

>>18520296
>>Orz
Still lightweight compared to fighting the Davaronians. Anyone else remember -that- First Contact war? I hear people heard the fuckers' psychic screams from quadrants away.

>>18520345
Bullshit it was.
Do you know what Orz *squeezing* your *juice* actually is? Do you really know how they *dissolve* you or *dance* with you?
There's a difference between outsider and *outsider*.

>>18520418
Even so, nothing from *Old Space* is fun to fight. Every time one of the *Old Space* gates opens, pretty much every sentient being in the galaxy clenches its asshole at once and hopes it's not one of the *Explorers*. Every time an *Explorer* race pops through it's a bloodbath. With *Traders* it's at least 50/50

So.. guys.. What kind of things will a tulani do for a shot of human jizz if she's addicted?

>>18520572
Tie you up in her basement, feed you Viagra until your dick could be used to pound nails, and keep you like that till your heart stops or your dick falls off. Literally. This has happened several times.

>>18520572
ITT some guy wants to bang a tulani but doesen't know anything about them.
I seriously hope..

Annnyway.. So. How are things this fine galactic cycle?

>>18520630
This. Imagine if a Meth or Sparkle addict had the ability to cook up their drug of choice just by feeding a puppy with treats. The poor things would explode and die within 72 hours. (This actually did happen once with an enterprising black-market veterinary genetech. It was in the holos a few years back)

>>18520493
I still have nightmares about it. My best friend *became* the second time.
>>18520572
Imagine there is a creature that excrete superheroin, a drug so potent that withdrawal will kill you painfully and the high is indescribable. What would an addict do for a hit of that? Anything. That doesn't necessarily mean he's going to bargain for it. Desperation is a harsh mistress.

>>18520630
And god help you once she's started. One shot from you, and she's imprinted.

Then it's you, specifically, and you, only, that she'll go to the end of the universe to rape to death.

Tulani on Earth have a different problem. The high number of willing males, the general intoxicating atmosphere, and their own need to imprint can lead to utter insanity. Only if they've had multiple partners while on the planet, mind you.

You don't want to see a crazy Tulani. No, you definitely do not.

And it doesn't matter if they're the kind with tentacles or carapace. They're both just as bad.

A lot of Tulani hate going on in here, I want to remind everybody that a lot of the stuff that goes around are extreme cases. If you've ever worked with, befriended, or dated a Tulani they're usually very nice. Personality wise, i'd call them a lot more human than half the aliens i've met.

I can breath without offending them. I love that. I swear some of you xenos...

I bet the fact they can survive damn near anything is why Tulani love contact shock troopers so much.. Just saying.

>>18520743
Of course you can. They consider your smell to be delicious booze candy.

You can say whatever the fuck you want to them and they barely take offense.

>>18520743
>I can breath without offending them.
That's the issue. I've literally caught them inhaling my breaths before. It's fucking unsettling.
The reason they're so, well, nice, is because being around us makes them feel good.
>>18520704
I've seen it myself. Their minds just shatter like fine crystal.

>>18520693
I feel you, man. Remember the Achan-Pzhog? I was in the region when the Gate opened...Hell, I was on EVA duty and got a direct look into *Old Space* I'm told my memory blanked it out in self-protection, but in my dreams, sometimes I remember it...like a great red eye in the sky with...like...snakes...the size of planets...pouring out of it. Like water spiraling down from a tub into a drain, and I was sitting at the very bottom of the drain...
We got out before the war hit, but I've been in weekly therapy ever since, and hearing pulse-talk always gives me a splitting headache like I can half-understand them a split-second before the translator activates.

Hey, any of the oldfags here remember what the Tulani were like BEFORE the virus got released on their homeworld?

Can you say assholes?

Back then, human/tulani relationships were practically nonexistent, and both sides thought people who did it were freaks.

Now nobody bats an eye.

But I remember the espionage, the small-scale wars and raids, the endless fighting and hatred.

Then two groups of dicks release a virus designed to make the Tulani like them more. One overwrites the other, and suddenly humans are walking heroin clouds.

Honestly, I kind of preferred it when they were jerks.

>>18520837
Well, I was THERE when the war hit.
When Orz started *dissolving* everyone so that *silly cows* wouldn't be *frumple*.
I saw... oh, god, I saw him/them/it make them into *special sauce*. Every time I hear the word "game" I break into a cold sweat. I passed out the last time I saw a parrotfish. Shrinks don't help. Nothing helps.

>>18520878
I had a tulani dominatrix back then.. Nothing can compare... I wish I could die, sometimes.. I'm practically fucking biologically immortal here, I havent aged since over 99% of the human population were still on earth, For fucks sake.
Captcha related.
Conscience ration.

>>18520878
I always found the tulani hot, even when we were calling them the skinnies and the squiddies and shit like that.
But then, I've fucked a Huuurdge, so maybe my opinion isn't that of the norm.

>>18520914
Dude, don't play the immortal emo card here. That's fine for seducing teenage girls, but this is /gc/.

We'll just make fun of you.

Me? I wouldn't touch them then and still won't.

I have started a relationship with a yirrnar, though. She's sweet. I never thought a glowing purple crystal could be so loving and romantic, but she is.

And the sex? Divine.

>>18520899
Yeah, my counselor is a sick fuck. He had me start reading some ancient Earth shit called "Cthulhu mythos" in the hopes that it'd help me contextualize this shit and realize that 'mind-bending horrors beyond reality' are actually no more threatening or ominous than any other species. It doesn't help. I still see the portal in my dreams, I still hear pulse-talk when every law of biology says I shouldn't be able to sense it, and I get weird feelings of comprehension whenever they try to describe *Old Space*, *Red Space* or *Blue Space*. Some nights I wonder if I'm still really human.

>>18520945
>But then, I've fucked a Huuurdge, so maybe my opinion isn't that of the norm.

>But then, I've fucked a Huuurdge,

>I've fucked a Huuurdge

> fucked

>Huuurdge

Yeah. You are DEFINITELY NOT the fucking standard here guy.

Excuse me while I go throw up.

>>18520970
Ugh.
Even I draw the line at silicons. They're just too weird.

>>18520970
You can have sex with them? Wow. Never knew that.
>>18520914
I call bullshit, Only military personell are that old.

>>18521000
>Cthulhu Mythos
>help you contextualize them

Seriously, get a new counselor. Who the fuck decided stories that were about people going insane after seeing Outsiders would help someone who's seen them?

>>18521000
At least you didn't see *white space*. My best friend lost the will to live after seeing it.

He just flew a ship into a portal to it, even knowing it would blow up long before it ever got there.

Kept talking about paradise.

We all know it isn't paradise.

How many trillions died in the last *white space* incursion?

If anything, it's worse than *old space* and *red space*.

Juries out on *blue space* though. Even now, nobody knows what the fuck is up with it. But it's never killed anyone, so...

>>18520914

Funny story, I'm a backed up infomorph whose prime intellect isn't even in normal dimensional space anymore, and I can think of at least 17 ways I could commit suicide. Not that I would want to.

You don't even have backups. What's your excuse?

>>18520970

yiirnar can, with very little augmentation, communicate along the same subspace ansible that my conciousness interacts with the global networks on.

It's a level of intimacy beyond what those of you still stuck in biological shells can imagine. The only real word I've ever heard that describes it is *untranslatable 3*.

>>18521000
That is *funny*. You think you *see* Orz but Orz are not *light reflections*.
Maybe you think Orz are *many bubbles* too. It is such a joke.
Orz are not *many bubbles* like *campers*. Orz are just Orz.
I am Orz. I am one with many *fingers*.
My *fingers* reach through into *heavy space* and you *see* *Orz bubbles*
but it is really *fingers*.
Maybe you do not even *smell*? That is sad.
*Smelling* *pretty colors* is the best *game*.

>>18521041
He feels at pains to point out the fact that we see Outsiders every day, we've got at least three of their species working as productive members of society, hell, a few people like >>18520945 have tried to 'boldly come' with them, and (Almost) no one's gone insane yet. He thinks I'll somehow find this shit laughable. But yes, I'm in the process of firing him.

>>18521004
I think someone's jealous.
>>18521073
Yeah, turns out they don't have orifices.
At all.
Tough luck for me.

holy shit anyone watching the Comet Rodeo happing in Able Sector? One of the jockeys mistimed her (should've used AI assist but anyways) burn and now its on a crash course for the inner system

they're cancelliing the whole event to wrangle the comet back inot the Cloud but dumbass triggered a high enough burn its going to be close

>>18521053

Uhh,

I probably shouldn't tell you this, but a few of us have been doing preliminary research on *blue space*. Early experiments seem to indicate that *blue space* exists outside of spacetime. Not only that, but it exists outside causality.

Anything destroyed by or entering *blue space* doesn't just die, it is erased retroactively from history. If someone has been killed by blue space, you would never have known about it by definition.

This is just preliminary, but the experimental results seems to indicate we are right.

>>18521059
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO N O N O N O NNNNNNNNN

Soooo.. Which are the tulani females that look really human with the big.. uhm.. /d/ worthy appendages?

>>18521101
1 Why would you tell anyone this ever
2 How do you know you're researching it, or that you haven't already figured it out and then lost someone?

>>18521013
I don't see how. She discusses her day just like I do. She talks about how she flexes electrons and explores higher dimensional bands of information at work. And she listens to me when I talk back.

>>18521054
Speak for yourself. Neither of us are augmented, and we enjoy our relationship just fine.

Pic related, it's my girlfriend. You'll never get a hot piece of crystal like this.

>>18521129
Something in me rebels at the idea. Rocks should not live.
Give me a nice Kemaini any day (dem frixeln).

>>18521126

It's generally better to know than not.

And the experimentation was fairly simple, we picked a random location in space, collected the hydrogen atoms in it, recombined them into a probe and sent them through. Every single time we did this, we found our random choice of empty space was empty of hydrogen atoms. We repeated the experiment 4320 times. The actual chances of choosing perfectly empty spaces of random dimensions this many times is approximately 3.6367938857837849661638501741963 e+7322:1.

This is enough for a fairly accurate diagnosis.

We have performed several other experiments of a similar band, but they require a knowledge of twelfth dimensional physics and a masters degree in subspace theory, so I'll not bother to post them here.

>>18521163
Frankly, silicons are some of the -least- weird shit in our universe these days. Goobot AIs, sentient fucking planets, outsiders, fungoids, slime-types...I get sick of counting it all.

>>18521124
Tulani males have internal genitalia.
Trust me on this, I've checked personally.

>>18521092

>Hurr durr, I turn off my assist

No fucking wonder. Why do people do this shit?

>>18521182
Have you asked any outsiders about Blue Space while you're studying it? Even if we can only catch one word in five, maybe they could shed some light on it.

>>18521182
Eh
Seems like a lot of work when you could just ask whatever lives near there. I'm sure *Orz* know about it, or one of the other outsiders from *old space*.

I'm working on translator protocols right now, and I think with a little study we might be able to fully understand some of the more exotic ones.

>>18521187
Yeah, and I've fucked most of them (thank you, mods).
But silicons get me. They can't possible compare to a Europoss' pseudopods, anyways.

>>18521193
Then what in my Schnarlack does one of my coworkers keep under that tiny cloth she calls a skirt that produces such a large.. tent? Can humans not see them?

>>18521222
The males have internal genitalia. The females do not.

>>18521195
Showing off I bet. I mean, all you're doing is moving big dumb icy rocks around in nearly-empty space, can't be that hard right?

I can't find the specs for the ship anywhere but I'll bet you its all manual controls too. Probably slipped and pressed thrust too hard.

>>18521208
>>18521217
I will tell again the many *pieces*. You do not know *special things*.
Here is some. *Time* is not one but many.
*Space* is many. *Colors* are many. You are so *sticky*.
You cannot *slide* like Orz from *outside* to *inside* and *in between*.
It is sad, but Orz can *pull* the *campers* after being *connected*.
This is soon.
Orz are trying to *pull* the Androsynth, but they are so *silly*, they do not want.
Arilou can *slide*. Also Taalo. Many can *slide*, but Orz are better of course.
See?

Greetings *FriendS*

I am *FHX* one of what yoU refer to as orz refers to as *ExplorerS*.

ORZ are violent *criminalS* from *Old SPace*. *ExplorerS* and *AllianCe* are peacefuL. orZ attempt to *EXPOSE* you so that they might *Dance* and have *Fun Times*.

Please Discontinue communicae and accept our *IntentS* to follow lawS and form *Friendships*

I am the FirSt. More are Coming.

Also Pilot, DO you requireS *aSSiStance* with *Red SPACE* *FingerS*

I can arrive

Awaiting *Reply* in peace and *New SPACE*

>>18521243
Honestly for all the hype Orz science is really comprehensible once you distill everything they say down to statements like this.

>>18521217
>>Asking the Orz anythign
>>18521243
Yeah, that went as well as I expected. Crazy gilled parrotfish.

>>18521237

I hate it when 'athletes' pretend that manual controls are better than pod or neural, it just spreads misinformation. I don't compete, but I am a pilot and my job requires a lot more control than some fucking asteroid jockey crap. Manual controls simply don't have the response time of my pod, i'm sorry.

>>18521232
Yes, they do.
Tulani with fivaigg are rare, but neither male nor female. They are a third gender that humans do not possess. I've studied xenobiology, trust me on this.
Now, they're still, ah, compatible. So don't worry about that.

>>18521232
Should I warn my male human co-worker about her intentions, then? They will both get off soon!

>>18521208
I dunno. Nobody seems to talk about it very much. The outsiders don't like it, but they're not violent about it like *red space* or *white space*.

I don't know for sure, but I do have a theory about it.

*red space* is a place where energy flows into and is destroyed. *white space* creates and spews out energy. *old space* is a kind of border-pocket dimension where entropy is slow.

I think *blue space* may be a place where temporal entropy is exceptionally high. That is; time itself breaks down entirely there, and causality dissolves.

This would explain the disappearing hydrogen atoms from H+'s experiment. They still exist inside bluespace, but in a state of permanent temporal breakdown. They physically exist, but effectively, to us they no longer exist.

>>18521208

None of the outsiders I can communicate fully with (about 87%, the other 13% require a mental substrate that is made up of matter that cannot normally exist in this cosmos) are willing to say anything about blue space. In fact, of the 17 races I've polled, 13 have no knowledge of blue space whatsoever, it may not actually be coterminous with their cosmii. Three others had only vague knowledge of it, and the other one did nothing but *pulse* anxiously when asked about it, refusing to speak more except to say something which, if my translation matrix is functioning, was something to the effect of "The Emperor of the Abyss and the God who Never Was."

>>18521217

I'm working on sythesizing *element Z.3 ^4 (15th string)*, which is the specific particle required to understand certain untranslatable concepts from those in*old* and *red space*. For some reason, it seems only 1/8 of the sentient races from either of these dimensions think using these elements. The fraction is consistent as well. it's a fascinating problem.

If you are a xenolinguist with a specialty in *untranslatable 7*, I'd be happy to work together. I've yet to find a translation matrix that I can effectivly use without it gaining partial sentience from complexity.

>>18521208
*Blue Space* is *Outside* *Time*. It is *Behind* the *Real*. It is *Decayed* and *Lost*. Nothing dwells there. Nothing devours those that enter it. It is *Lost*. Even *Red Space* is less hostile.

>>18521293

No no...let them find out for themselves.

That's how I met my girlfriend

>>18521306
Here is *good news*!
Six or nine *pieces* ago, myself the Orz did not even *smell* your *level*.
Can you believe? It is so silly! It is such a *happy town*.
Then the Androsynth made some *slippery places* and then Orz can *smell* it.
It *smells* so good Orz are surprised!
I, myself pushed the *fingers* into the *new town* and there are so many *campers*.
First the Toculna, but they are such *silly cows*
they ask so much about the Androsynth we must *dance* with them.
Then we can *smell* the Resummyr. Again they are *jumping in front*.
It is always! Nnnnggaaahhhhh!
There is *juice squeezing* and then we are not so *frumple*.
Finally we find you, the *happy campers* and the Taalo *playground* for sliding through.
Where are the Taalo? There they are. It is too much fun.
We are too happy, in this *slow time* *heavy space*. It is a better *level* for games.
This is the everything story. Now you know.

>>18521325
Hmm. Yes. That would jive with my theory of extreme temporal entropy leading to things still physically existing, but effectively being locked out of time.

>>18521306
If these four establish a pattern, shouldn't there be a theoretical *Black Space* that maybe absorbs energy or reverses entropy in some manner? I've asked a few outsiders, but whenever I do, they start *Pulsing* erratically to signal agitation or anger. I have no clue why.

>>18521347
Your "girl"friend is not a girl.
It is a ghdroni, which is a sex humans don't have, and quite rare.
While tulani don't lie, they don't always provide all necessary information, which may mislead.

>>18521405
So what will she do to my co-worker? They are about to leave, if I have to warn him I need to now?

>>18521405

I never really asked, she/it is feminin enough for an alien, we have great sex, and we never fight.

What's not to love?

>>18521403
Ignore *Trader*. You are a *silly* *camper*. I am always Orz.
If I was not Orz, then I would not be, but of course I am Orz.
We are from *outside*. Also the *blue space* *quick babies* are from *outside*.
It is the same, but not.
Orz are from *below*, *blue* are from *above*.
Orz does not like *blue*. *blue* are too much trouble.
We can not have parties when *blue* always *jumping in front*.
It makes Orz *frumple* so much.
*Happy campers* not going to *heavy space* *slide* near Chandrasekhar.
Especially not ever!
These are *fat* words. Do you want to play this some more?

>>18521306

An interesting hypothesis. If this is true, I wonder what would happen if you sent an object with a negative temporal translation *ie. a reversed flow of time* through a gate into *blue space*. If your theory holds, the result would be a permanent looping of causality, the object would always be passing through the portal, never losing energy.

Such a loop could, theoretically, generate incredible amounts of energy for short periods, but would eventually borrow too much vaccuum energy from that region of space, and thereby exhaust it down to maximum entropy. The gate and the space itself would collapse into a singularity. Possible even a supermassive one.

Hmm. I'll run a few million simulations. This may be a problem.

>>18521435
That depends. What sex is your co-worker?
>>18521443
I'm merely informing.

>>18521465
Good lord, here come the *Explorer* vs. *Trader* flame wars all over again. Remind me why these bastards can't just ignore each other again?

>>18521527
He's a male human, Young by their standards, He's only been working here for a few terran 'months'

>>18521404
*space* is a complex concept.

Let's break it down real quick.

First, there's the physical universe we live in. The outsiders call it *new space*.

There are multiple levels to it, which are physically parallel to our own but which grow increasingly alien and strange as you go up, or down. Likewise, they become hostile to human life. Our FTL systems use the levels to travel faster than light. These are essentially higher and lower dimensions.

But then you've got... if space is shaped like a doughnut, then the colored space pockets, like *blue space* and *red space* are like little moons orbiting it. They are not exactly a part of it, but are related to it. They create a flow of energy into the universe and a flow of energy out. They affect time, and energy, and matter. They were likely integral to the formation of the universe.

There are a LOT of them. It's hard to tell. Most do not interact with humanity or the *new space* races directly.

*old space* is an area of low entropy where things must band together to survive, either by alliance or force. Otherwise, they dissolve. I think.

If the colored space dimensions are like moons, *old space* is like the asteroid belt of the universe. It's outside it, and technically not a part of the universe, but it also is. It does not seem to have the same functions as colored space. It's sort of like... old skin the universe has shed? Something like that. But not really.

If there is the fabled *black space*, then it is likely a description for the void between dimensions. And if it's something that unsettles even the outsiders, I don't really care to fuck with it.

>>18521531

*Explorer* has multiple connotations depending on context, tone and freqency. One of them is like a combination of rapist, genocide, and cannibalism, but in reference to *untranslatable 2* instead of people. *Trader* has a similar connotation, but it's more along the lines of coward, waste, useless. Again, the frequency and the *pulses* determine the specific meaning.

It's also assigning it as a permanent and unchangeable characteristic of the target's though-pattern. It's basically one of the worst insults they have, a corruption of a normal communication tool into the ultimate slur.

>>18521561
>>*old space* is an area of low entropy where things must band together to survive, either by alliance or force. Otherwise, they dissolve. I think.
I get the impression that there's some kind of psychic gestalt thing going on in *Old Space* that requires absolute mental lockstep to endure, explaining why every last outsider race is a mono-culture of mostly-interchangable individuals. But no one's entered *Old Space* and come back to explain it to us, at least not sane. And people get weird side effects just from seeing the space-gates open with the naked eye. So just call it a theory, I guess.

>>18521557
That's better than female, good. You see, human female are similar enough in some ways that it might cause issue. A fivaigg is made to fill either sex with ispaye. It's similar in some ways to a human penis, but different in others.
Now, despite what you hear, tulani aren't generally rapists. However, she may attempt to show him her fivaigg, and if there is a satisfactory response, she may wish to commit hangeun with him, which isn't dangerous. However, fivaigg fluids are positively hallucinogenic to humans, so if in that situation he should probably just couple as he would any other tulani. But what he does with it is his prerogative.

Guys guys guys! Did you hear?! Mars and earth have gone dark!

>>18521629
I am already telling you the everything story.
I am Orz. I am one with many *fingers*.
My *fingers* reach through into *heavy space* and you *see* *Orz bubbles*
but it is really *fingers*. Orz is Orz.

>>18521694
>Human sperm is Heroin to Tulani
>Tulani sperm is LSD to humans

It's so wonderful to see two races come together in beautiful union.

Have you... um, ever wondered if the Tulani are designing a virus to make them more attractive to us?

If there are any addicted genetic engineers, they might be working on something like that.

I'm pretty sure that would end poorly. Two races getting high off the presence of the other, wanting do do nothing but have sex that can't produce any children?

So that is how civilization ends. Not with a whisper, but with an orgasmic moan.

>>18521789
We'd still have those really altered humans and cyborgs?

>>18521765
I'm sitting on Earth right now. I don't see anything but a confused-looking tulani that's out of the ordinary.

>>18521785
I meant, "No one who's been there has explained *Old Space* except outsiders and crazy people. " Also, that explains the Orz, but what about the Davaronians, the Achan-Pzhog, and all the other shit that's come out of the Old Space Gates over the centuries?

Hey guys, remember the science engineer in the previous thread?
He's probably dead now.

>>18521789
There will always be enough human xenophobes that that will not work.
Also, ghdroni are rare enough to not matter in a biological sense. They're essentially a Plus fivaiggs are sensitive enough that they rarely show them to humans, as the raw sensation can, when coupled with human musk, cause insanity.

>>18521882
Good for him. It's nice to see someone accomplishing something in this day and age.

>tenacity birstay

That's right, Captcha. It takes tenacity to stay dead nowadays.

>>18521882
Oh well, Just a nanotransen employee.--
OH GOD! OH GOD! OH JESUS GOD!
LORD EMPEROR, WHO ARE THESE MEN?! THEY JUST BURST INTO THE OFFICE BUILDING!

>>18521914
That's what Tulani used to think about humans. They used to HATE humans.

Then the accidental virus bombing changed their minds in a hurry.

Have you ever met a truly hostile and unfriendly Tulani?

I know ONE fringe colony where humans are shot on sight and the bodies burned. Diplomatic relations are conducted from full hazard suits.

That's IT. That's just a few hundred Tulani. Compared to the hundreds of billions their population holds.

If the same thing were done to humans, I suspect it would end much the same way.

>>18521914
They're essentially a vestigial sex, that should say.
Also, it's not sperm. It doesn't serve anything near the same purpose.
Tulani fluids reacting with humans isn't new, either. Tulani females in heat can produce a fluid that causes temporary pripism. We believe that to be suspicious and possibly the work of yet another virus.

>>18521947
I think their space ninjas.
>>18521882
I'm still every much alive.

Anyone else getting the feeling that contact shocktrooper is lurking here...? The roomie hasn't said anything in a long time.. Should we be worried. Also. Nanotrans employee... Have anything try to rip you apart in the last five minutes?

>>18521975
Such a thing may not even be possible. The same effect that makes tulani euphoric in the presence of a human (to a layman, essentially why they are "giggly" and lightheaded) may not even function on humans, as humans have significantly less powerful senses of smell. Tulani used to think we stank horribly.

>>18521629
>>explaining why every last outsider race is a mono-culture of mostly-interchangable individuals
Um, how about the fact that none of them correspond even vaguely to what we'd consider basic biology when you wonder why most seem interchangeable with anyone else in their species? Most of them aren't even organic, the Orz are a mishmash of traits that definitely never evolved, and they only get weirder from there.And few of them reproduce sexually, if they even have reproduction as we know it.

>>18521830
Too many times explaining the silly words.
How many time? One? Two? Three? Seven?
Orz are ready to find new *friends*. You do not want to *play*.
Do not coming to our *house*.

>>18522021
How did you survive?

>>18522119
Orz cannot be strange. Orz is Orz. Strange is other thing.
You are the *silliest cow* even more so.
At least you can *dance* with Orz.
After the dancing Orz think you will make good *special sauce*.
Maybe even for other Orz *party*, so do not be sad.

>>18522153
I will say is that our comms network is absolute crap, what would have most likely happen is that the time I have been lagged out, someone had been playing with our comms and deleted everything off record.

>>18522095
There is no such person here, Do not worry your head about it.

Howdy from Brussard Collector 487 Folks, We will have 4Giga access for the next 17 hours and while my crewmates are busy cybering and contacting family I'm wasting my time here as usual.

So whats up my galactichan, I missed you.

>>18522405
Not much, we've been discussing the concept of *Space* and the Outsiders, and the potential of the Tulani to virus-bomb humans into the circle of drugs. So an average day, really.

>>18522405
Happy *pieces*! I am *squirting nice colors*!
Why? The reason.
*Camper friends* have come to galactichan *playground*.
Why are you coming to this?

>>18522426
Ahh,

Not much here either, still collecting hydrogen 89 days out of 91. Its a living and I can't complain i guess.

Those outsiders kind freak me out a little, all this talk of fingers and stuff. Makes me think there are like 3 evil genies down there fighting it out with a million clones or something.

>>18522473
I *smell* you so much. *Campers* are pleasant.
You are coming again to the *playground*.
We can have extra *fun* for future *parties* in *quick time*.

>>18522473
>>Makes me think there are like 3 evil genies down there fighting it out with a million clones or something.
By last count, there are around a dozen known Outsider species, so more than 3. But yeah, ever been on a ship with an Outsider co-worker? It gets...weird knowing that their translators are so odd because they're trying to translate micro-pulses of radiation into speech. It gets weirder if you're one of the few who can sense pulse-talk innately, without mods. You start to get...flashes...of understanding things that you really shouldn't understand. Like *Space*. Every time the Outsiders mention it, I get a moment of enlightenment and at least an hour-long headache. I get through the day mostly by autohypnotic suggestion to dull the headaches.

>>18522571
You know, you can find jobs that require extra pay if you're willing to work on ships with lots of outsiders.

If not, you can always request no-outsider crews.

Outsider understanding is a well known condition, and the government is required to compensate you. Your employers are required to accommodate you.

If, that is, you don't want the extra money.

>>18522620
I work on a ship almost entirely populated by Outsiders, specifically a mix of Davaronians, Achilites, and Un-Kul. Note that they're all *Trader* species. They tried to add *Explorer* crewmen once, just once. I don't like to remember what happened. But I get shitloads of extra money on the condition that I write down everything I can the moment I get one of the enlightenment-flashes. I'm told that I'm advancing outsider-related science by decades doing this.

>>18522672
*Jumping Peppers!* I am *squirting* more *nice colors*.
It is the best way!
You will be very happy *campers*. Do not be *terrified*.
It is better as *campers*.
You must going to my *house* to start *camping*.
It is 371.3, 253.7 location.
We are so busy here for starting the *campers*!

>>18522488

I warn you creature, our Gellar Deflectors are measured at over 1.21 Gigawatts per picometersecond of deflection.

The only thing that will be *squished* if you come to *play* will be you. We plot out courses 90 days in advance we don't fucking stop for nothing.

Goddamn Outsiders, make my skin crawl.

>>18522706
You are not *spitting* happy words. Demand is not happy.
If you want to going onto *playground* then *happy words* are best.
Do you understand the most?
It is so simple.

>>18522706
Who cleans the void shields?
-Totally not a interested first contact shock trooper

>>18522753
Busy is because Orz have reason. It is secret for *campers*.
You must going quickly to my *house*.
It is too bad you cannot **HYUIVBHJHG** there
but flying the *heavy* ship is okay.
Perhaps next we will show you our toys. But do not look!!!
Now you will go to my *house*.

>>18522753

Anyone knows this, its done automatically by a tripple redundant system but I guess if all the safeies broke, It would be my job to fix it. Gotta love my junior senior field engineer kit.

Wait why are you asking again?

>>18522808
No reasons.. Was just wondering about body disposal, Because I'm totally not eating that thing.. Hypothetically, Of course..

>>18522733

Just a friendly word of warning

we stop for *NOTHING*

fucking parrotfish.

>>18522834
>>18522808
Who is it? It is the *not Campers*.
Maybe you have come to Taalo *playground* for a *picnic*.
No!!! It is not the case! *Silly Cows* can never have a *picnic*.
Of course. Not even a *party*.
If you are gone, Orz can have *fun* some more.
*Fence* is weak where I *spit*. Orz will *dissolve* you and have *happy times*.

>>18522834

Haha, I like the cut of your jib. Accidents have happened before, it all goes into the brussard collector if you know what I mean.

>>18522864
We are not *dead*. Orz is never *dead*.
Orz is thinking *silly cow* are want to *dance*.
Orz can *dance* very well in between
but not as much fun as *parties*.

>>18522904

If you dance so well between, why don't you go do that. Oh wait Orz came here for a reason because back home your a little fish and here your a little fish.

Honestly, someone's on a ship with all these fuckers. Couldn't pay me enough money for that. Just knowing their there where they don't belong. All the space theory is fine, but kinda makes me wished someone invented those impossible blue space bombs they were talking about before Orz became our new friends.

One orz dies and its a goddamn hate crime how many ordinary everyday space jockies have died to *fun time* now? Media doesn't say jack about it. Its a fucking lark man.

>>18522982
Yes. Yes. You say words, then I say.
It is fun *in between*. More fun than *dancing*.
Many *gravity centers* in *heavy space* make good *party places*.
This is why we like the *New Town*. So many *Campers* and then what?
Even the *playgrounds*! Such a surprise!
At this *playground*, Taalo are making *Time jokes*. It is too funny for the Orz.
Taalo are in *heavy space* and next what?
They spread to *Pretty Space* because Dnyarri are chasing them.
Now Dnyarri are sleeping, so Orz can *chase* them.
Then we can have a *party*. They are even better *campers* than you.
Do not feeling bad. You are good enough *campers*, but not yet.

>>18522982
Honestly, I find dealing with *Traders* a pain in the ass enough. I wish we'd never accepted the *Explorers* into the galactic community and kept kicking them right back into *Old Space* every time they poked their heads out. *Traders* are weird, but *Explorers* are just bat shit crazy.

>>18523021
Orz are not *dissolve*! Why is the *silly cow* say Orz are *dissolving*?
Too much crazy perhaps. You are so sick even for a *party*.
Again I am *squeezing* the *juice*. Nnnggaaaahhh!!
It does not even helping.

>>18523028
Yeah, you fucking mad, you goddamn ugly parrotfish. I remember how we punted your dumb asses right out of *New Space* five goddamn times before we finally took pity on you. That was really a mistake. Go back where you came from and stop being such an annoyance, you're choking out any other discussion

Hey uhh.. miners.. Ignore those bumps in the road, if you catch my drift, I just took out the trash.

>>18523050
Nnnnnggggaaaahhhhh!!!!!! It is *dancing*!!!!

>>18523089
Yeah, yeah, you dance, you party, we bombard you with neutron bombs and super-*Pulses*, you run like a dog with its tail on fire and beg us to not be destroyed. This has happened half a dozen times, you morons, remember?

It's difficult to think badly of humans, because they smell [good]. Being around them is fun. I cannot put it into words that would translate.

>>18523077

haha, we literally catch your drift actually. Thats okay between the deflection fields and the atomizing array its not like I gotta clean it up.

>>18523113
Finally you are *absorbing*. I am tired of *spitting* the meaning.
I go. It is *happy days* after you are gone.
Then I will have enough *juice*.
So much the better.

>>18523128
Tulani? I have a package you could come collect.

>>18523152
I am of Tulani.
Do you have a package? You are [nice]. I will collect it.

>>18523186
He'll get you addicted to him.

Haha, well I guess even the junior senior field engineer needs to get to sleep, and I have 21 km of hull to run field tests on yet, so see you arround ...

Space Cowboy! (have some andy for your troubles)

>>18523216
Why would he do this? This would be cruel. Humans are not cruel. Humans are fun.
Is it something to do with his package?

>>18523265
You are not aware human semen is addictive to tulani?

>>18523277
Yes, but it is only a package. Package is not semen.

>>18523292
Package is a euphemism human males use to refer to their genetalia sometimes.

Remind me why did any race lose a contact war fights with Tulani? Did they never even think of, you know, giving them misinformation? Find out that they'll believe fucking everything?

And >>18523265 is clearly connecting with unprotected line, otherwise he/she would be able to understand that the package isn't bloody real.

>>18523303
I see.
He was going to [trap] me? Why? Humans are [joyous]!
>>18523312
Why would the human say there is package if there is no package? Is he [delusional]?

>>18523329
It's probably a human female trolling you, Or other species, I've never seen a human male try to actually manipulate tulani, Alot don't seem to know..

>>18523329
Nope, he is lying. LYING. Cram that trough your unprotected translator.

>>18523347
It was one telling unpleasant possible truths?
It is clear, now. Humans are good after all. I owe you [debt].
So is there package? I am confused.

>>18523360
I do not understand.

>>18523369
>>18523377
Baby baby, Your being put through a mental ringer, Just find a nice guy and cuddle up with him for a night, ignore the trolls, Do not feed the trolls.. I thought this board was tulani friendly. That's what I get for assuming on galacticachan

>>18523394
>Tulani friendly
>Galactichan
takealookatthisguy.spess
Yeah. Anonymous and freed portal is clearly some place that tulani can come on with unprotected line. Makes so much bloody sense, right guys?

Guys?

>>18523394
You are of course right. My [brain] is filled with hurt. I will stop trying to understand. I do not know where humans are, though. It is [distressing].

>>18523429
Wait what? How can you not know where any are.. where are you?
Humans are EVERYWHERE.

>>18523312
They understood lying just fine before the Virus.

They understood a LOT just fine before the Virus.

Not that they're exactly stupid now, mind you. Keep them away from humans, put them among their own kind, and they revert to the selfish, backstabbing, angry assholes they were before. Just a little.

Only that one colony has partially counteracted the virus. The rest are innately addicted to humans, even if they've never seen one.

See, it's because the Phyrrin created THEIR virus to make the Tulani docile hosts addicted to their presence who couldn't understand lies. The Phyrrin, as people who read the last thread would know, implant eggs into a host which mature and then devour the host from the inside out. Phyrrin males are docile, addicted to the presence of females and LIKE getting eaten. It's their life goal, even if they die screaming in agony.

The Phyrrin want other races to be more like theirs. So do the humans.

In comparison, though, their virus was much more juvenile and benign. They just wanted the Tulani to like humans more. So they changed the way Tulani perceived human smell and taste.

The two viruses were released at the same time. The human virus, although much less complex, overwrote the effects of the Phyrrin virus. Now, humans are addictive to Tulani, and they are docile towards humans and addicted to our mere presence. The presence of the Phyrrin is lethal to them. And, often, to the Phyrrin.

>>18523438
I am on Thyrr. But I am confused so I cannot think. I will calm presently.

>>18523438
There are humans outside [window]. I can smell them. They smell good.
I must go.

>>18523442
So that's why humans can get harems of tulani's? Why only males, how do they react to human females?

>>18523491
Females can. It is merely that males naturally smell stronger.

>>18523442
Ever see a Tulani catch scent of a human?
It's fascinating. Their eyes go blank (well, blanker), and they get this beatific look. I wish I could be as happy about ANYTHING as they are just to be around us.

>>18523491
You are advised against getting a harem. ONE Tulani girl will press you to your limit. More than that, and you'll wake up tied to a milking machine.

That said, they have no problem with human females. They find them just as intoxicating as males.

Women who engage in relations with Tulani have the added advantage of not having addictive fluids. Well, not majorly addictive. Human sweat, blood, and female sex fluids in general are addictive, just not to the same degree.

Human semen in the digestive tract of a Tulani (in EITHER end) is essentially like shooting pure heroin into someone. They can't overdose, but it is EXTREMELY addictive. Once they've addicted, they'll never, ever, ever have enough.

Normal sex doesn't have this effect. They'll still imprint on you as a mate (which is permanent unless one of you dies) but will, over time, become used to you and regain some of her species innate traits.

This is a good thing. The Tulani are untrustworthy backstabbing dicks, but at this point, not to humans. Which means you've got an excellent wife or husband, who will RUIN everyone in your way.

>>18523547
..What would be more dangerous.. A contact shock trooper or his tulani wife...?

>>18523559
That depends on whether you're human or not.
See, she will become used to her husband's presence, but humans on a whole still smell incredible to her.

>>18523572
I'm thyraxian. Do 'married' tulani's cheat on their human males? 'cheating' is a odd aspect.. Among some species, it varies widely, it even varies widely among humans, So in general I would assume "Mating activities outside the broodship"

>>18523589
An imprint is for life. Unless she is an addict and starting to withdraw, tulani take imprints very seriously. Not enough to not be submissive to other humans, but enough to manage to refuse advances.

>>18523612
Indeed. Note how some Tulani on Earth go insane?

That's because there's a lot of humans willing to do "one night stands", and they end up flooding them with addictive fluids.

The Tulani wakes up drunk (due to all the human pheromones in the air), craving a fix, and imprinted to someone they don't even know, and can't possibly find again.

When a Tulani sleeps around, it's out of desperation. And when they do that, they snap.

It's like seeing an insane little broken bird that can rape people to death. Pitiful, hot, and terrifying in equal measure.

They completely, utterly lose it.

One night stands with Tulani on earth are illegal for a reason.

>>18523664
Doesent stop them from happening, Sadly. Humans need to be more educated on the effect they have on other species.

>>18523664
I've seen it myself. Being human, you never see a tulani that isn't absolutely ecstatic and happy-go-lucky. They seem dreamy little things that float through life on a cloud. So it's horrifying to see one grinning and sobbing to herself while tackling some random guy. Their sanity can just pop like a soap bubble.

>>18523442
I've always wondered how that colony would react to a human suddenly appearing in their midst. Like, say, one just walking into a room full of them.
Would they be able to shoot him?

>>18523778
Unless the virus acts faster than they can pull the trigger, that human is slag. Afaik, they're uninfected.

>>18523803
No, they ARE infected, all tulani are infected, but they shoot humans on sight and burn the bodies. They aren't addicted because they haven't been exposed. But what the virus does is it makes them SUSCEPTIBLE to the smell of humans.

>>18523778
His ship would never make it there in the first place.

And if it did, these are the OLD Tulani. The ones who had a cold war with humanity since first contact, and killed a ton of humans in their time.

They haven't fully purged the virus, but they partially have. They can and do kill humans that think it's some kind of secret fun resort.

Fun fact: Part of the reason for their low population is that the cures for the virus have high mortality rates. It's not one virus, it's two, both designed to be hard to cure, both designed to be stealthy and highly virulent, and they merged into one horrifying abomination.

Even after burning through thousands of lives and TONS of money, that colony has only partially cured the virus. The Tulani go through lifelong, nonstop treatments so they can merely partially resemble pre-virus Tulani.

But they resemble them enough to shoot the fuck out of you. They, at least, hate humans. Don't mess with them. The Regress Colonists are not your Tulani Wafus.

And the Tulani government funds them heavily. Which just goes to show that even if it's only done on some subconscious level, the old Tulani spirit is still there.

>>18523860
I've heard the tulani goverment also has to pay alot to the humans to prevent them from sending in the shock troops.. Who would, Invariably.. Kick the tulani's cute little asses all the way back to the wax-age

>>18523860
I still want to see how long human musk takes to overwhelm one of them. For science.
It'd be interesting, because nobody is quite sure, as by the time we realized what was happening it was already over.

>>18523860
But isn't the tulani government basically a puppet government of ours?
Because their officials are just as addicted as everyone else, so they can't lie and agree to every "suggestion" made.

>>18523879
Sure. But let's be honest. The Regress Colony has a purpose too.

Namely, Regress Colonists in full hazard suits make expert secret agents. And they're just as good in many ways as their ancestors, pre-virus.

The cold war may be over, but Earth doesn't send in the shock troops because the Regress Colonists aren't a big enough threat to justify it. Left to their own devices, they mostly just spy on things and defend the Tulani against human threats. That said, it's quite likely that the Tulani operatives would shut down most of human space and draw down several other races to their defense if the humans and Tulani ever did go to war.

However, neither the humans or Tulani want to at all. Humans are more than content with the fact that a long-time enemy is now a close ally, and the Tulani themselves are happy just to have a few humans in the room with them. Moreover, with their new deficiencies, humans have stepped in to protect them.

In many respects, the two species are closer than ever.

But it's still a bad idea to fuck with the regress colonists.

>>18523918
Or the shock corps. Seriously, How big are they now? I've heard there's more shock troopers than there are tulani alive..

>>18523937
I think he's pointing out that the size of your army is irrelevant to how effective a black ops squad will be.

>>18523946
But they ARE the functional equivalent to a black ops unit, The mainline human army is capable of being so big it boggles the fucking mind, how do humans do it? Thyraxians practice mandatory conscription and we don't even get near those levels.

>>18523883
Short answer: It doesn't.

Long answer: It potentially could if there were a lot of humans around, but you won't live long enough for it to do so.

It doesn't overwhelm NORMAL Tulani if it's just a one on one meeting. They just get a very pleasing, mild buzz. If they meet a whole bunch of humans, it can easily overwhelm them.

The Regress colonists are partially purged of the virus. Mostly, they still get the buzz but their judgement is largely returned to pre-virus states.

This means they are vicious backstabbing assholes who dislike you specifically BECAUSE your scent makes them feel good. This makes them extremely violent.

Again, they aren't your Tulani waifu. They're nothing like that nice Tulani girl you worked with on the space freighter or met on vacation. They are, by and large, OLD Tulani. Kids today don't know what that means.

Humanity fought a cold war with them for a long, long time. We neither won nor lost, but both sides lost a lot of lives. The Tulani are an old race. Some of the best fighters in the galaxy. Their hardened combat vets are the equal of our first contact troopers.

And you want to walk into a colony of them to see if they'd fall all over your dick? Son, if you did that, you'd get exactly what you deserve.

>>18523959
Contact shock troopers are bloody rare and usually on contract on some big ass security firms.

Shock corp troopers are just glorified basic soldiers. And most of them are support.

>>18523937
To a surgical organization like the Regress colonists, a huge human army is like one giant target.

And the human government knows it.

Moreover, the Tulani are NOT alone in the universe. As I said, they're an OLD race. They've got friends. LOTS of friends.

Once you do the math, if humans ever did attack them, their major military facilities would be shut down and disrupted heavily, and so many races would attack that the "huge" human army would look laughably insignificant in comparison.

Humans have huge armies because they tend to go it alone. Others have allies that contribute a few troops to others wars. With enough allies, that dwarfs even the human military.

And the Tulani have enough allies.

And what purpose would it serve? So you could screw the few Tulani who DON'T like humans? Give me a break.

You want to break up one of the greatest alliances in galactic history so you screw a few aliens who don't want your dick.

Real smooth, son.

So wait.. The hardass commando type are like my bunkmate, And the rest are.. What would the translated word be.. I beleive among my kind we call them 'Enuchs'?
Soldiers only worthy of fighting in a desperate battle?

>>18523918
>Moreover, with their new deficiencies, humans have stepped in to protect them.
I've actually noticed that even on a personal level. Taluri aren't much good in a fight anymore, but humans (admittedly including myself) have become fiercely protective. There was a fucking BARTHIX pushing itself on a taluri I didn't even know in this bar, right? S/he asked it to leave him/her alone, and naturally ran to the only human in the bar, which was me (my luck, right there). Then she hid behind me.
Thing is, I didn't back down. It would have smeared me over the walls, but I stared it right in the eye.
Lucky for me, it decided it didn't want the hassle .
And I didn't even know her. I think it's because they're so... innocent, now, and they rely on us.

>>18524036
>Taluri
Durr. I've been up too long.

>>18524036
I'd personally phrase it as "virtually helpless".
They can barely stand up for themselves to anyone by this point. They're too addled.

Are humans generally allowed on the tulani homeworld? Because they have trouble enough keeping their birth rate up as it is.

>>18524116
Why wouldn't they be allowed? imprinting is still in effect and it's not like there's huge amounts of people who are as unlucky as that one sob from last thread.

>>18524292
What I mean is, too many of them and the tulani won't even bother breeding with each other. That's an issue.

>>18524361
Woozayamanisentertained.spess
Yeah, I'll let you know when there's enough bored people with enough money to actually get trough the customs of any tulani colony, nevermind their homeworld, just to get a little party started.

>>18524459
Nigger please. If the customs officials are tulani, you can breeze right through 'em.
Of course, it gets more difficult if they're human. They have to watch for cinnamon smuggling, see.

>>18524537
>Implying that the custom checks don't cost a leg and heart.
>Implying the custom checks aren't done by sec-AI.
>Implying you actually meet any living soul during the custom checks.
>Impying anything in customs is something that you can breeze trough
Ever heard the phrase "You're here forever"?
My tulani co-worker told that it describes the customs procedures perfectly, and that's for the tulani version of checks.
>mrboneswildride.spess

>>18524606
>implying all the colonies can afford that shit
Didn't you hear about the guy that managed to sneak ten pounds of cinnamon onto Neesette, then blew it up over the nearest settlement?
People died in the frenzy that ensued.