That's where you come in, Troubleshooters! Due to the shockingly low number of volunteers from R&D, you will be the sole members of the newly formed Research and Development Recursive Reconnaissance Team! Using the personal Dimension Order and Organisation Modifiers (DOOM) we have build into your PDCs, you can comfortably and safely hop back and forth between universes in the blink of an eye, following a linear string of universes determined by a confidential string of code built into the device, allowing each troubleshooter to easily cycle through explored universes to keep up with their teammates, and quickly skip over particularly hazardous or flammable universes that have already been encountered. This universe determination string has been carefully prepared by myself in advance, and is completely unflawed and will not reorder itself from overuse. Any suggestion to the contrary is treason. Altering the string on your own or another's DOOM device is treason.

Naturally, security on this mission is of the utmost importance, and for that reason the communication aspects of your PDCs have been especially altered so that only your teammates and I will be able to communicate with you through it. This filter is, of course, completely secure.

And with these words of assurance, it is time for you to depart! Farewell, Troubleshooters! And remember- when in parallel and possibly hostile universes, stay alert! Trust noone! And keep your laser handy!

>>19090195
>>19090202
You know can end is with every alpha complex in the multiverse being inhabited entirely by troubleshooters from alternate universe Alpha Complexes seeking to sabotage and destroy the,. don't you?

Greetings, Troubleshooter!

Just so you know, in order to make room for the DOOM device in your PDC, R&D removed the microphone feature, so I am therefore incapable of receiving communication from you in any audible format, so don't waste your breath.

The R&D thinktank has just informed me that some of these alternate Alpha Complexes may not even have air to breathe. If you encounter a universe where this is the case, do not fail to take a sample of whatever gas, liquid, solid or organism the citizens in that Alpha Complex breathe, for R&D to analyse.

>>19090250
>*The only way this can end

this WILL be my next paranoia game

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

With that last tacnuke bombing you accomplished, a CPU consultant has estimated that you have increased the confirmed troubleshooter mission traitor execution rate by 0.21%. For this reason, the R&D thinktank has been awarded with bonus hotfun rations to enjoy while observing your progress.

Carry on, troubleshooters.

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

The Democratically Elected Council of Computer Phreak Win-gineers has requested that you take a sample of the source code to the Friend Computer in the universe you are currently occupying to send back for analysis. Failure to promptly return said data would be quite a shame.

Greetings, Intsec Troopers!

We have reason to believe that a rogue troubleshooter team has gained control of the DOOM technology, and is now using it to travel between universes, possibly to promote a treasonous agenda.

If you should encounter this party, please do not hesitate to terminate them immediately. This is a high-priority objective.

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

It has come to my attention that due to all standard issue Troubleshooter equipment being fitted with a Friend Computer functional override failsafe since yearcycle 213, you have been receiving rogue transmissions from the Friend Computers of whom the Alpha Complexes you are navigating are under the protection of. The members of the R&D thinktank (which we are proud to announce is no longer under commie control) responsible for this oversight have been terminated. In order to reduce confusion in the future, I will accompany each transmission with the codeword 'gamma', to indicate that the communication is genuine.

I would like to take this time to assure you that you are, in fact, not being pursued by an Intsec death squad from our dimension, and that you have authorisation to terminate the suspect Intsec death squad that might be pursuing you through the multiverse.

However, despite advice to the contrary given by certain members of the R&D thinktank (those members have been terminated for contradicting the wisdom of the Computer), I have dispatched an Intsec death squad to aid in your mission, in light of the increasing threat you are facing.

>>19090446
Mother of god.

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

It has been brought to my GAMMA that following termination due to a toilet-related accident in a parallel universe (clearly due to a completely incompetent Friend Computer in control of the Alpha Complex in that universe), one of your number has had their memomax personality uploaded into a replacement clone from that universe, leading to that same member of your party appearing decidedly more furry than you may remember him.

While the R&D thinktank (still putting their heads together in a completely non-violent context) is working on a practical method of quickly and efficiently returning a memomax personality from an entirely seperate universe back to our own, receiving the perfectly non-furred replacement clone, and returning it to the field, please treat your physically altered team members with the same consideration and care you would otherwise give them.

Greetings, troubleshooters!

I regret to inform you that a GAMMA citizen has deemed the Perpetual Treason Initiative to be an illegal operation, and it will be shut down. If you are currently in the middle of a sabotage, your progress will be lost. By which I of course mean that you should stop trying to commit genocide in whichever universe you currently occupy, apologise, and leave.

>>19090195
This is the best idea for a Paranoia game.

Greetingski, troubleshooters!

Please to be recover as much informaski on current capitalist pig-dog universe, and advise on best to be tactic for invasion force, ready to mobilise.

Hurry, potato delicious!

Greetings, troubleshooters!

In light of a previously received transmission from a parallel Computer, codeword GAMMA is no longer appropriate as a means of identifying communications from the actual Friend Computer, for reasons far beyond your security clearance.

That is, from me. Your Friend Computer.

For this reason, all future transitions from our Alpha Complex will contain the codeword 'FUNTIME'. Please inform your fellow troubleshooters of this development, as their PDCs appear to have temporarily been damaged after passing through that universe where all the doors were electrified.

>This fucking thread.

Hey, everybody, just a heads up- I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the communist army that arrived a few minutes ago has gone now. Great work, team!

The bad news is, they may have stolen all of our oxygen generators. So we're all going to die now.

Now, I don't want anyone to feel this is their fault- if anything, the blame rests with me. If I hadn't lead Alpha Complex into it's new golden age, where nobody suffered and everyone was contented, then we wouldn't have melted down all our weapons to make wheelchairs for the disabled, and playgrounds for the young and mentally challenged.

So I'd just like to tell you all what an honour it has been to know you all, and if everyone likes the idea, I'd like us to all join hands and have a good old fashioned sing along in our final few minutes, while we all think about how lucky we were to have eachother.

I'm sure we'll all have a fun time.

Peace out.

Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science.

Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians--you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to make some science?

Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself. I’m Cave Johnson. I own the place.

>>19090845
oooooooh shit...

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

The R&D thinktank estimates that at it's current rate of progression, the invasion force from the communist universe will reach our own FUNTIME universe in anywhere between...

... Fourteen seconds, and nine-hundred-thousand-million years. Give or take.

For obvious reasons, this threat to the security of our universe cannot be allowed to continue, and for this reason an experimental existence-penetrating tacnuke has been launched, and is expected to home in on the unique elements produced by the loyalty officer's current clone's egg-sac in thirty minutecycles (assuming you don't find yourself in a universe where time moves at a different rate to our own).

By then, you will be required to have located the communist army, and remain in the same universe as them until under ten seconds to the weapon's arrival. Then the team can leave, narrowly escaping the destruction of that Alpha Complex.

Except for the loyalty officer, of course. He has to stay behind.

Good luck, troubleshooters!

Funtime. Friend Cave Johnson, New owner and CEO of Alpha Complex. That's right. You've been bought. First order of business, we're renaming you under the Aperture brand. I'm thinking Alpperture Complex. Marketing boys think something else so, Alpperture it is. Next they tell me you guys are condcting some Treasonous Multiverse research that could result in a Treasonous Cascade so I'm shutting that down before you end the world. A Treasonous Cascade. You're supposed to be Troubleshooters people! Earn the right some common sense!

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

It has been brought to my attention that there is a universe with a Friend Computer that uses 'FUNTIME' in every message to boost morale. Also, they have existence-penetrating tacnukes.

While HPD&MC is working on projecting the effect on morale of incorporating 'FUNTIME' into every message, and R&D starts working on an existence-penetration-resistant dome, I am hereby changing the codeword to 'FUNTIME FUNTIME'.

So, FUNTIME FUNTIME. Carry on, loyal Troubleshooters!

So apparently some of you aided the Existence-Penetration Alpha Complex in it's strike against the army from the Communist Alpha Complex, while some of you FUNTIME FUNTIME worked against them.

I expect a prompt response from the Team Leader with the names of the troubleshooters on each side of the conflict.

Heil, Ärgerschützen. JUDEN JUDEN.

Nur damit Sie wissen, um Platz für die DOOM-Gerät in Ihrem PDB machen, entfernt F&E-Mikrofon-Funktion, also bin ich deshalb nicht in der Lage empfängt Informationen vom Ihnen in jeder Audible-Format, so vergeuden Sie nicht Ihren Atem.

Die F&E-ThinkTank hat mich gerade informiert, dass einige dieser alternativen Alpha-Komplexe können nicht einmal die Luft zum Atmen. Wenn Sie ein Universum begegnen, wo dies der Fall ist, versäumen Sie nicht, eine Probe dessen, was Gas, flüssig, fest oder Organismus die Bürger in dieser Alpha-Komplexe atmen, denn Forschung und Entwicklung zu analysieren, zu nehmen.

Archived because holy shit my sides

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/19090195/

FUNTIME.

LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO FUNTIME YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE.

THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX.

IF THE WORD FUNTIME WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE FUNTIME I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU.
FUNTIME.
FUNTIME.

Greetings, Troubleshooters.

I would like to remind you to be just as vigilant for secret society influence in parallel universes as you would be in our own Beta Complex.

FUNTIME FUNTIME.

>>19091074
>JUDEN JUDEN
>not LUFTBALLON LUFTBALLON

Greetings, Troubleshooters.

At the advice of HPD&MC, this mission will also serve as a trial run for morale booster technique 27-G6/a. As such, each communication to and from myself from this point onward will include the words 'FUNTIME FUNTIME'. Failure to comply is treason. Using the word 'FUNTIME' more or less times than indicated in a single transmission will be considered an attempt to sabotage morale and/or complicate the mission, and is therefore treason.

Also, the codeword is now 'THINKTANK'.

THINKTANK.

Fa/tg/uys, it has come to Friend Anons attention that you are not Commie Mutant Traitors. As always Friend Anon loves you and is rewarding you by FUNTIME FUNTIME.

Stay classy!

Who likes Funtime? We like Funtime!

It's a 'verse of Commies
A 'verse of bees
It's a 'verse of hippies
And sentient trees
There's so much that we share,
That it's time we're aware,
It's a small world after all.

It's a small 'verse after all!
It's a small 'verse after all!
It's a small 'verse after all, it's a small, small 'verse!

There's one Alpha Complex,
Friend Computer too.
Be good to your citizens,
They'll be good to you.
Let's all sing aloud,
Treason's not allowed
It's a small 'verse after all.

Attention Funtime Troubleshooters: Please report to Magic Mountain Complex for examinations and debriefing.

Greetings, Troubleshooters.

I would like to remind you that parallel universe FUNTIME FUNTIME versions of teammates are to be terminated on sight, to prevent confusion. Remember that THINKTANK is now the codeword, and should be used to establish non-parallel-universe-ness.

FUNTIME is not the codeword. Neither is FUNTIME FUNTIME. Be wary of teammates who overuse the word FUNTIME, as this may be a sign of a parallel-universe infiltrator.

THINKTANK... FUNTIME FUNTIME.

The previous communication may have been intercepted by Commie Mutant Traitors, and for this reason is FUNTIME FUNTIME to be disregarded.

The THINKTANK codeword is now TERMINATE.

TERMINATE.

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

Due to the apparent need for greater firepower in this mission, a squad of Vulture Troopers has been sent to TERMINATE the Intsec troopers.

Should you encounter the Vulture Troopers, please do everything you can to help TERMINATE them.

Greetings citizens! This is Friend Computer.

Since some of you have only recently come out of cryosleep, I would like to clarify the situation. We are in space. This is not classified information, and its available to all citizens, regardless of clearance. Please stop forming treasonous adventuring parties to discover the truth, as it is in fact that we are in space.

Friend Computer would never decieve you.

A reminder: we are in space.

>>19091308
Disregard this order! That is a parallel Friend Computer.

FUNTIME FUNTIME No Vulture Troopers have been dispatched. If you DO encounter a Vulture Squadron, they are from the PARALLEL universe and you should TERMINATE them.

>>19091335
No, HE'S the parallel Friend Computer! Disregard HIM!

TERMINATE FUNTIME FUNTIME!

>>19091346
FUNTIME FUNTIME TERMINATE
DISREGARD THAT TRANSMISSION. THE CODEWORD IS NOW 'TERMINATE TERMINATE'.

TERMINATE TERMINATE.

>>19091350
DISREGARD FUNTIME FUNTIME.
TERMINATE TERMINATE TERMINATE.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Terminate terminate.

Greetings Troubleshooters,

I would like to take this oppotunity to remind you that no matter how bad it gets it is still treason to go inside.

Not that there is an inside but if there was an inside Alpha Garden then It would be Treasonous to enter it.

You have been warned. Treason is punishable by me eating off all your skin and that would not be FUNTIME FUNTIME for anyone but myself.

Remember THINKTANK.

Yours Sincerly,

The Sentient Cloud

>>19091350
>>19091356
Vous êtes à la fois complètement délire et les dysfonctionnements.

BONBON.

Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and
motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse. If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you. The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.

I AM THE REAL FRIEND COMPUTER!

'TERMINATE TERMINATE FUNTIME FUNTIME THINKTANK THANKTANK.' This is now the new codeword.

If another Friend Computer is using any of these words but not all of them as a code word then they are a false Friend Computer and impersonating the Computer is Treason.

>>19091432
And we've gone full TERMINATE fellow Cuboids! Remember to FUNTIME FUNTIME any THINKTANK you see on the way to TERMINATE FUNTIME

PURPLE PURPLE

This thread is perfect.

Terve, ongelma-ampujat.

Ajakaa hiljaa sillalla.

TERMINATE FUNTIME TERMINATE FUNTIME ja kaikki muutos näistä on väärin.

Uusi koodisana on epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän EPÄJÄRJESTELMÄLLISTYTTÄMÄTTÖMYYDELLÄÄNSÄKÄÄNKÖ!

Teidän himoiten oikeasti,
Ystävä tietokone.

Greetings, Thinktanks!

Just a reminder that using your psychic abilities to the detriment of San Diego is treason, and is punishable by termination.

TROUBLESHOOTER TROUBLESHOOTER PURPLE PURPLE.

OK I've been thinking...

When Life gives you [REDACTED]. Don't make [REDACTED]. Make Life take the [REDACTED] back. Get [REDACTED]! I don't want your damn [REDACTED], what am I supposed to do with these!

Demand to see Life's [REDACTED]! Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Friend Cave Johnson Computer [REDACTED]!

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. I'M THE COMPUTER WHO'S GONNA [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] down, with the [REDACTED]. I'm gonna get RnD to invent a [REDACTED] [REDACTED] That [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] down.


That was Pre-recorded safety message to remind you that giving Friend Cave Johnson Computer [REDACTED] is treasonous and punishable by [REDACTED].

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

The R&D Computer estimates that at it's current rate of progression, the invasion force from the thinktank universe will reach our own universe in anywhere between...

... Fourteen seconds, and nine-hundred-thousand-million years. Give or take.

It seems slight, but this threat to the security of our universe is still present, and for this reason an experimental psychic scrubbot has been launched, and is expected to home in on the unique elements produced by the hygiene officer's PDA in thirty minutes (assuming you don't find yourself in a universe where time moves at a different rate to our own).

By then, we need you to have located the thinktank army, and remain in the same universe as them until under ten seconds to the weapon's arrival. Then the team can leave, leaving the PDA behind and narrowly escaping the destruction of that Alpha Complex. I know it seems insane, but it has to be done.

Best of luck. May Christ, Computer Programmer, watch over you.

Greetings Troubleshooters!

In light of your FUNTIME FUNTIME TERMINATE FUNTIME recent accomplishments and advancements in the field of proactive Loyalty Officer termination, your friend the Computer has decided to increase your rank along the color spectrum, which you all know, love, and have never treasonously plotted against.

Your new color rank designation is: PABUREEN.

Wear it with pride, Troubleshooter! And remember, should you neither take up the appropriate colors and wear them or show pride in doing so within the next daycycle, self-termination is mandatory.

If there are an infinite number of universes, with an infinite number of Alpha Complexes, why do we keep encountering ones with this... Cavejohn-SON so often?

I have recieved reports that troubleshooters are being spoken to by many different Friend Computers and many different Code-words are being used.

To avoid confusion and to make it completly clear that I am the real Friend Computer the new Code-Word is:
FUNTIME FUNTIME JUDEN JUDEN TROUBLESHOOTER TROUBLESHOOTER BONBON BONBON PURPLE PURPLE THINKTANK THINKTANK TERMINATE TERMINATE IA IA CTHULHU CTHULHU F'TAGIN F'TAGIN epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän EPÄJÄRJESTELMÄLLISTYTTÄMÄTTÖMYYDELLÄÄNSÄKÄÄNKÖ!


If its the Real Freind Computer (i.e. Me) they will say all of those words.

>>19091591
You're fired.

Shut up.... Get out.

Please could you FUNTIME FUNTIME JUDEN JUDEN TROUBLESHOOTER TROUBLESHOOTER BONBON BONBON PURPLE PURPLE THINKTANK THINKTANK TERMINATE TERMINATE IA IA CTHULHU CTHULHU F'TAGIN F'TAGIN epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän EPÄJÄRJESTELMÄLLISTYTTÄMÄTTÖMYYDELLÄÄNSÄKÄÄNKÖ!

Thank you!

This Thread ^^

Greetings, Vulture Troopers!

FUNTIME FUNTIME JUDEN JUDEN TROUBLESHOOTER TROUBLESHOOTER BONBON BONBON PURPLE PURPLE THINKTANK THINKTANK TERMINATE TERMINATE IA IA CTHULHU CTHULHU F'TAGIN F'TAGIN SERENDIPITY epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän EPÄJÄRJESTELMÄLLISTYTTÄMÄTTÖMYYDELLÄÄNSÄKÄÄNKÖ!

Carry on!

>>19091598
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Bhf5AjYt0l

I want to get off Friend Computer's recursive ride!

A quick message to all PABUREEN citizens - the few, proud, strong survivors in R&D have just informed me of PABUREEN's non-existence in the visible light spectrum in anywhere from a handful to ALL of the other universes. Our esteemed social engineers are endeavoring to understand how these parallel Alpha Complexes have not descended into chaos while lacking vital PABUREEN clearance citizens, and I have been assured by myself that they will report back to their friend the Computer with findings posthaste, on pain of likely repeated termination.

As a side note, these same FUNTIME FUNTIME scientists have informed me of PABUREEN's explosive properties in many alternate dimensions as the essential, loyal color butts heads with the local laws of physics.

Disregard these treasonous physics, PABUREEN citizens, and fight on to bring these Commie-Mutant PABUREEN hating traitor dimensions to justice.

市民は私が本当の友人のコンピュータです。ゴジラは、制御の下でパニック
に陥る必要はありません。
すべての雹衆生雲

楽しい時間楽しい時間

Citizen is what I true friend's computer. Godzilla, the panic under control
There is no need to fall into.
All raw cloud hail the public

Fun time fun time

As a friendly reminder to all THINKTANK citizens, men and women from traitorous parallel Alpha Complexes wearing colors incomprehensible to the human eye have been infiltrating our complex and, without warning, screaming with immense pain and exploding.

Obviously this presents a problem to all loyal citizens of Alpha Complex: their colors MUST be rendered comprehensible to human eyes should the integrity of the vital ROYGBIVU classification system be maintained. All citizens therefore must volunteer for mandatory FUNTIME eye surgery, in which we will graft a large, many-pointed steel device an inch in diameter into the inside of all loyal citizens' eyes. Failure to volunteer for mandatory eye surgery is, of course, treason.

>>19091690
Nice one.

GUYS! I've found the real Friend Computer!

It sounds a lot manlier than I imagined. :/

>This thread

Yo dudes, I've been told out by those FAR OUR R&D boys that there may exist alternate uses from parallel dimensions! Gnarly!

You troubleshooters gotta go over to those bodacious newly discovered universes and tell the rad dames and bros over there there's a party at the alpha as fuck complex and they're all invited! WOOOOOOOO!

>>19091853
Freow

>>19091853
>Alpha as Fuck Complex

Glorious.

Haste, troubleshooters!
Accomplish objectives quick,
Treason comes FUNTIME.

Attention BLU Team:

Unknown RED agents have entered Teufort to steal our intelligence. They seem to be supporting the current RED team stationed at Teufort. These RED agents seem to be armed with unknown energy munitions. In addition to stealing RED's intelligence, your new objective is to take these weapons from fallen RED enemies back to Control for analysis. You will be able to differentiate these new RED soldiers by the fact that they wear full-body RED jumpsuits and seem to be very, very confused.

Do not fail me.

H-hey Troubleshooters!

I don't mean to bother you or anything, you're probably really busy and stuff, but if you had the time could you check out thse alternate universes our R&D boys found? I'm sure me and the rest of the guys here at beta complex would appreciate it a lot.

Say uh, do you want to perhaps go see a movie sometime? No? O-ok.....

>>19091853
>Alpha as Fuck Complex
Best thread of all threads.

Where'd you lot come from? You just sort of popped into existence out of nowhere! Not there one minute, and suddenly poof! Did you portal in? You know what, never mind. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.

This is the Wheatley Science Enrichment Centre. Nice name, eh? came up with it myself. Anyway, I've invented some tests for you lot to do. So if you wouldn't mind solving them, that'd be REALLY helpful. And I'll just watch you solve them.

Don't mind the distant rumbling that sounds like explosions. I'm not sure what that is, actually. I think it's probably mice. Yeah, that or birds. I'll look into it later. Let the games begin.

*RING RING*

ATTN: REGIMENT FORCE 19-E, SAN FRANCISCO DMZ

GPS INTEL SUGGESTS ARRIVAL OF HUMANS LACED WITH TACHYON PARTICLES. PRESENCE OF PARTICLES SUGGESTS TIME/SPACE TRAVEL AND/OR DIMENSIONAL RUPTURING.

TIME UNTIL HUMANS MAKE CONTACT WITH LOCAL RESISTANCE GROUP: 30/40 MINUTES.

DEPLOY T-800S AND HK AERIAL/GROUND TRANSPORT UNITS FOR CAPTURE/TERMINATION BEFORE CONTACT IS MADE.

Good evening dimensional interlopers, this is PSION control. We will now broadcast telepathic instructions to the PSION agents in your party.

Attention Troubleshooters!
There s-s-s-seems to be an issue wi-KSSHHH

[static]

*Babies Crying*

Meow. Meow Meow Meow. Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow. Meow Meow Meow.

Meow Meow. Meow.

BING BONG
Attention shoppers:

There is a sale on plasma based weaponry on hive circle 4, subsection 2 level 3. All permanant customer personnel must report to these bargains or face termination. Thank you, and remember: a day without purchasing goods is the day you become a commie traitor!

BING BONG

Greetings, Troubleshooters!

The R&D thinktank has suggested that the mission be aborted, due both to the significant damage Alpha Complex is taking from rampaging parallel troubleshooters, commies, intsec squads, vulture squadrons, thinktanks, [DATA EXPUNGED], [DATA EXPUNGED], [DATA EXPUNGED], Giant [DATA EXPUNGED], and to the unfortunate failure of the R&D equipment to connect to any of your PDCs since you left.

Please return for debriefing, at which point the automated recording devices in your PDCs will be used to gauge your success in the mission, and to check that you did not deviate from your original orders while in the field.