SPACE PIRATE

A Spaceman-Pirate.

SPACE KNIGHT

Obviously we're multiclassed into Spaceman and Pirate.

>>8780481
>>8780482

spacepiratemind

>>8780481
>>8780482

Spacepiratemind

Spaceman.

Spaceman with a tendancy to act like a Pirate.

>>8780492
>>8780493

SpacePirateMindMind

>>8780493
>>8780492

spacepiratemindmind

>>8780503
>>8780502

spacepiratemindmindmind

>>8780481
>>8780482
>>8780492
>>8780493
>>8780502
>>8780503
>>8780512

SAMEFAG

>>8780502
>>8780503
Spacepiratemindmindmind

>>8780479
Space Pirate seems like the overall concesus

>>8780502
>>8780503
>>8780512
Space pirate mindmindmind

really fucking high...

>>8780524
>>8780512

spacepiratemindmindmindmind

(does this qualify anymore? the posts are a bit further apart...)

>>8780521
C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!

PIRATE!!


Listen this from 1.05 and dare to say otherwise.

a futa cat girl with a 12 inch cock

You are Spaceman, adventurer of the galaxy. Through accident or sabotage, your ship was crippled and you crash-landed on this remote planet.

You barely made it out alive before your ship went nova and reduced itself to a pile of radioactive slag.

>>8780541

I would cry manly tears if I wouldnt be a-dyin' from scurvy capn'

Equipment check:

One burner, fully charged
One transcoder
One set oxygen recycling tanks

>>8780578

CHOO CHOO

ALL ABOARD THE SPACE RAILROAD GALAXY EXPRESS

>>8780578

Look around. Is there any useable debris of our spacepirate ship?

>>8780578
CHOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOO!
CHOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOO!

>>8780596
EQUIP BURNER
TARGET - OXYGEN TANKS
USE BURNER

Time to start pirating!

>>8780607
>Look around. Is there any useable debris of our spacepirate ship?

Please roll a d12 and link to this post. Only rolls linking to GM posts will be included.

rolled 11 = 11

>>8780631

rolled 3 = 3

>>8780596
EQUIP BURNER
TARGET - OXYGEN TANKS
USE BURNER

>>8780641
As luck would have it, your robot assistant seems to have been thrown free of the ship!

It appears undamaged, but is currently offline.

>>8780678

well wake him up!

rolled 11 = 11

>>8780678
EQUIP BURNER
TARGET - ROBOT ASSISTANT
USE BURNER

As I am a Dane and Lego being a Danish brand I have only joy and excitement to express over the creation of this thread.

rolled 9 = 9

>>8780678
turn him on

>>8780678

Turn him on

>>8780718
>>8780707
clack in hell mechfags

No use carrying around dead weight!

The robot melts into a small puddle of white slag.

>>8780737
Please do not act upon troll posts.

>>8780753
But this is more fun!

We can push the reset button if you'd like, but Spaceman Quest will be greyed-out.

>>8780753

>please dont act on other posts, just MIIIINEEEEEE

rolled 5 = 5

>>8780777

PROCEED FORWARD INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN!

>>8780777

ATTEMPT TO FASHION A JETPACK.

rolled 4 = 4

>>8780845
this

>>8780833
Your transcoder probably has some kind of GPS or something, but you're too excited by the prospect of ADVENTURE to worry about that right now!

ONWARD!

rolled 1 = 1

>>8780902
search for traps

>>8780952
All clear, captain!

>>8780737
Damn you, you messed up my great roll that got us the robot in the first place >:[

After walking for hours through an endless expanse of grey baseplate, you come to the first sign of life you've seen since you crawled out of your ship!

The sight of the water reminds you that your own internal reservoir was left back in the ship. The tanks can recycle your air, but that long trek has left you quite parched.

What do you do?

>>8780952

>>8781012
Attempt to breathe local air. If unbreathable, forget about drinking.

rolled 3 = 3

>>8781012
>>8781048

Yeah, this, but with rollan.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8781012
you are lego, you need no air. Take off your helmet

In the back of your mind it occurs to you that your transcoder could probably tell you, but that's not nearly as ADVENTURESOME as you want it!

>>8781091
If he needs no air, then why have a tank and helmet?

Seems pretty good!

rolled 5 = 5

>>8781117
now throw a stick in the water to see if it is acidic

>>8781142
Nah. We have a doohickey that can tell us that.

Also check for HORRIBLE DEATH FISH in the water.

>>8781157
Roll it.

>>8781111
>>8781117
This quest is turning out to be interesting... albeit possibly really short.

rolled 1 = 1

>>8781157
...okay.

>>8781157
>HORRIBLE DEATH FISH in the water.
Dorf Fort Carp?

>LEGO
>SPACE PIRATE
>TUUUUUUUUUBES

>>8781215
>WheresTheJoke?.jpg

rolled 9 = 9

>>8781215
That is clearly an aquanaut.

GET YOUR ORANGE TRANSPARENT CHAINSAW

Yes, the transcoder is a miracle of modern technology, able to determine molecular composition, translate thousands of languages, and act as a combination social secretary and pocket-watJESUS CHRIST IT'S AN OCTOSHARK!

>>8781245

Run. Only an orange transparent chainsaw can defeat one of those.

>>8781245
It's also our robot's head! O.O

>>8781245
OHGODFUCK
THROW AN OXYGEN TANK IN ITS MOUTH, THEN SHOOT IT! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!

rolled 7 = 7

>>8781245
Burnerate its nose! Burnerate its nose!
...octosharks do have a sensitive schnozz, right?

>>8781271

rolled 8 = 8

>>8781245
run

>>8781215
fucken saved!

>>8781271
fucking lol'd

rolled 2 = 2

>>8781271
this this this this

Caught off-guard, you manage to fire off a single shot of your burner at it, enraging the monstrosity even more!

rolled 7 = 7

>>8781329
throw oxygen tank into its mouth and shoot it.

In the back of your mind, you reflect that your transcoder does look a lot like your former assistant.

Different color, though.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8781329
It's time to make like a photon and exhibit properties of a particle AND a wave! And also to flee.

>>8780479
Spaceman baby, heh come on.

Desperately, you fling your oxygen tanks at the beast!

(roll to Scheider it, please)

rolled 9 = 9

>>8781385

rolled 10 = 10

>>8781373
Zaphod, you godsbedamned wanker, we've already decided that. Now smeg off before I forget you owe me 20 quid.

Maybe it's something in the atmosphere, but your O2 tanks explode, blasting the creature's head in half!

>>8781329
Pull a Mario and stomp on its head.

>>8781425
yay!

>>8781425
Are the yellow bricks an explosion? Or is it just REALLY pissed?

Loot the corpse

The corpse sinks back into the water. You keep your burner trained on it for a minute, but it doesn't seem to be in the mood for any more carnivorous impulses.

Your heart is pounding, and you're even thirstier.

rolled 7 = 7

>>8781468
Scan one more time. Then drinky drink.

Where'd the roll sticky go?

How I roll?

>>8781468
Drink urine if that is possible.

If not, then scan the water to see if it is drinkable

>>8781468

Hit the Reset button, Do all actions up to this point the same, EXCEPT melting the robot, replace melting the robot with "Activate robot, and order it to follow us"

I miss the Robot : (

The transcoder detects several other small lifeforms in the water, but they appear to be scavengers.

You bring the cool, clean water to your mouth and drink deeply. Better than anything you've drank since you left New Jerusalem.

Rested and invigorated (but growing hungry), you stand at the edge of a lush tropical plain.

What do you do?

>>8781482
Type

Dice+1d12

in the email field

>>8781527

Cross the river

>>8781533
ty

>>8781527
I'm sensing death by space diarrhea in the near future

rolled 8 = 8

>>8781527
Find place in river shallow enough to cross, and scan plant life.

rolled 4 = 4

>>8781527

Put helmet back on, seal it, and walk UNDER the water to get across.

>>8781569
No more oxygen tanks remember?

>>8781572

Even so, the helmet is air tight, meaning it'll allow Lego man to hold his breath longer.

The river is deeper than it appears, but you easily cross it. Once on the other side, you can see that the land dips into a valley and is swallowed up by jungle.

>>8781614

Lament the Loss of our Robot friend as we continue forward into the jungle.

Boy, the GM wasn't kidding- this jungle is pretty thick!

Roll a d12, please.

>>8781614

Jungle? Maybe there's edible fruit or fungi there. Let's go check it out.

>>8781662

Look around us.

Also Lament the loss of Robot

rolled 10 = 10

>>8781614
run a passive scan with our transcoder to see if anyone is on the planet

keep walking towards the jungle

>>8781662
Look for anything fappable

rolled 5 = 5

>>8781662
Rolling.
And spacemen lament nothing! Except possibly having no booze.

>>8781680
Odd... the planet is supposed to be deserted, but your transcoder is picking up emissions from some kind of equipment a few miles away...

>>8781703
Mmm... getting a little sleepy. All that walking... bound to tire a fellow out...

*yawn*

Maybe if you just lie down for a minute...

...

Bennie?

...

rolled 3 = 3

>>8781790

NO! This place is too dangerous to sleep.

END OF PART ONE

No orange chainsaws? What kind of crappy quest is this?

(eating lunch, gimme a few minutes)

>>8781836
Not every quest can be set on Ice Planet, anon :P

>>8781872
>implying a chainsaw wouldn't be useful in a jungle

rolled 11 = 11

>>8781820
when will you be back?

>>8781887
Judging by that roll... 10 minutes?

Or less.

"About time you woke up."

The voice grates on your ears, and even through the fog in your brain and the filters in the speaker grille you can tell who it is.

>>8782124

Who is it?

rolled 11 = 11

>>8782124
how did we get here, and who is it?

Plz to include crawler town in whatever this is.

Kthnxbi

As your vision clears, you see your hated rival, Hodge LaRoque, bounty hunter and a persistent thorn in your side! The scene around him, however, boggles your mind! A tribe of primitive aliens!

"Those nobles you cheated paid me a lot of money to track you down. Tomorrow morning you and I are going to take a trip back to civilization."

>>8782154

I headbutt him

>>8782175
Please express that in the form of a dice+1d12 roll.

rolled 190 = 190

>>8782154
Suck my cock, Hodge.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8782154

HEADBUTT THAT MOTHERFUCKER

"I hope your landing wasn't too rough," he laughs.

>>8782245dice+1d12

I punt one of the natives at him

Suddenly, you leap to your feet and charge him!

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Roll a d12, please.

rolled 5 = 5

>>8782274
Get him good.

>>8782274
Rape your foe's face with your cock. Just to humiliate him.

>>8782305
"What are you, simple?" he laughs, drawing his own burner with ease.

"I'd put a few charges through you right now, but I need you breathing to collect the bounty."

>>8782401
Yeah, probablly good to do what he says.

We'll sneak attack him later.

rolled 9 = 9

>>8782401

swear lego space pirate curses at him!

rolled 1 = 1

>>8782401
if he needs you alive, then you can run away without harm. do so, run like the wind

rolled 9 = 9

>>8782401

I fart loudly and smirk at him

>>8782449
He needs us alive.

That does not necessary he needs us with, say, our legs.

>>8782449
Seconding, RUN LIKE FUCK

>>8782481
Are we true Lego meaning we can survive without legs?

>>8782430
Sounds like an intelligent plan.

>>8782442
"Yeah, yeah, we all know your mom likes it rough."

>>8782449
Eh... you could run, but you're already sitting down. It seems like a hassle.

>>8780479
Jedi

Or spaceman with a jetpack and both Revolver and Cutlass.

Fuck yeah, I still love Legos.

rolled 12 = 12

>>8782498
try and talk to the aliens

>>8782498
Does our fearless spaceman know what those yellow guys are?

do the aliens have anything that could be used as a weapon?

Hodge leaves your feet hobbled as well as your wrists bound. His laughter trails off as he pushes into the jungle, leaving his own robot behind to guard you.

It seems the natives are quite curious about you.

rolled 7 = 7

>>8782564
Try sign language

>>8782564
Try to play with the natives.

See if you can get them to untie you.

Also, OP, you are godly.

>>8782498
>Eh... you could run, but you're already sitting down. It seems like a hassle.
YOU RAILROADING SON OF A BITCH!

>>8782521
Though Hodge took your burner, he left your transcoder behind!

It only takes you a second to dig it out and turn it on, and suddenly the natives are speaking perfect Futuron!

>>8782564
See if natives have mouths so they can suck your dick

>>8782626
Anon rolled a 1 on the running-away check :P

I'm not gonna play favorites~

>>8782628
>Futuron
too bad we speak neo-Gothic

>>8782641
Don't be a bitch and tell us that we can't run away because of the bad roll

>>8782628
will they help me escape?

>>8782658
>HURRR

>>8782628
throw it away

>>8782698
Roll with a lowercase d and we'll find out!

rolled 12 = 12

>>8782628
well? what are they saying?

rolled 1 + 11 = 12

Try to use your magic powers

>>8782723
They seem to be calling you and Hodge "the sky-people" and commenting on your strange ways.

"The other sky-person even tried to fly away on Snarklemas!" one of them says incredulously. The others murmur agitatedly at this seeming transgression.

"But we made it not fly."

rolled 8 = 8

>>8782781
see if they will help you then you can escape

rolled 4 = 4

>>8782838
what do you mean "not fly"

>>8782838
OP, your aliens are amazing.
And your robots.
And everything about this thread.

'yo OP, so I heard you like quest maps so I put a quest on your quest so you can quest while you quest"

Cool quest bro, lego = win

>>8782847
They seem to be largely unaware of your status as a prisoner.

One of them quivers briefly, before its head splits open and disgorges a fleshy stalk with a gleaming black tip! Your temples throb and your eyes water...

...and suddenly you are free!

rolled 5 = 5

>>8782969
turn away from said antenna

>>8782987
ask them where you can find a weapon

rolled 3 = 3

>>8782987
i thank them for their assistance.

>>8783076
They're not sure what you mean by "weapon"... these seem to be quite peaceful people when you're not breaking their religious taboos.

>>8783081
And speaking of that... what'd you say about their mothers?

>>8782969
>>8782987
That was not how I expected it to go, thank God.

In the middle of your hastily-concocted apology, the natives suddenly turn in unison!

in b4 rule 34

While you were making small talk with the locals, Hodge's faithful robot brought its master back!

>>8783302
I'm not sure if I'm up for some hastily constructed interspecies lego orgy porn

>>8783313
OH SHIT, RUN

>>8783313
Gee, if only we had a faithful robot...

>>8783322
I'm "up" for it.
lololololol
/troll

you may return to the quest now

rolled 7 = 7

>>8783313
throw a tribesman at him

>>8783331
Please express all cowardly fleeings in the form of dice+1d12.

>>8783359
Try to steal the robot.

rolled 3 = 3

>>8783367
RUN AWAY

>>8783359
"THIS IS PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA!" you shout as you heft the creature at LaRoque!

Roll a d12, please.

rolled 11 = 11

>>8783423
Fly true, noble tribesman.

>>8783443
Robots are clearly allergic to aliens.

rolled 1 = 1

>>8783443
fuck yes, I'll roll for damage

>>8783458
clearly

>>8783460
...God damn it Anon.

>>8783469
Lego Quest didn't call for it, so it doesn't count.

>>8783443
I don't think the natives will like us very much anymore.

>>8783501
incorrect, we're giving that native the honor of being an "ultimate sacrifice'

they should love us

As the creature sails through the air, it extends the strange antenna once again...

rolled 6 = 6

>>8783538
Send that shit right into LaRoque's eye!

...and when it lands, Hodge is nowhere to be seen!

>>8783549
hell y-y-y-yes

>>8783551
Aw hell naw.

VAPORIZED

rolled 10 = 10

>>8783551
Give the little guy a hug and give him a "heartfelt" apology for throwing him.

>>8783607
>10
oh . Claim the you were being mind-controlled by the robot

rolled 12, 8, 10 = 30

EQUIP ORANGE TRANSPARENT CHAINSAW
RIDE INTO THE DANGER ZONE

>>8783607
The local seems quite amiable to your human affection.

rolled 3 = 3

>>8783654
Now ask him to lead us to his tribe.

rolled 2 = 2

>>8783654
reprogram the robot to recognize you as it's master

>>8783671
"My tribe is right here!"

>>8783672
"No."

rolled 1 = 1

>>8783717
Ask if they would like to help us repair our ship.

>>8783727
No means yes in tsundere robot speak.

>>8783717
Aw. Okay well then do what >>8783672 said.

This is so awesome. It's like Spaceman Uncharted Lego adventure.

rolled 5 = 5

>>8783727
Draw your burner on the son of a bitch and tell him that he's working for you now.

Once gain /tg/ proves that I don't need to go to any other board.

Now if only we could incorporate SNSD into /tg/, then my life would be comp...

Which girl would belong to which L5R clan...

>>8783735
"The noisy bird that broke the law of Snarklemas?"

rolled 11 = 11

>>8783776
Roll persuasion to convince them to help.

rolled 6 = 6

>>8783787
Nah, dudes. This is a completely different Noisy bird who loves your laws. It just looks the same and replaced the old one.

rolled 7 = 7

>>8783736
Oh yes, tsundere robot.

"I'll fix the power grid, but don't get any ideas, I just need to be recharged."

"Oh, here's those scans you needed, stupid. I was getting annoyed seeing how long it took you"

"Stupid human, you can't even take a laser shot. I'm only healing you for my own amusement."

Please do this OP.

This has been awesome to read I must say... carry on!

>>8783787
You transfix them with the epic story of brave Spaceman, who liberated the treasure trove of the Emperor's nephew for the good people of the galaxy, and were cruelly and cowardly brought down by the dastardly fiend Hodge LaRoque.

rolled 5 = 5

>>8783876
They better help now. Also, pick up LaRoque's burner

>>8783876
I'm hoping you did this with star-wars sound effects for maximum conversion!

rolled 1 = 1

>>8783876
They're so adorable when they sit.

Pick out one of them. His name is Jibbles. Adopt him.

rolled 2 = 2

>>8783894
this

>>8783894
The idea of leaving their tribe is abhorrent...

But you're alive and you've got a burner in your hand again.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8783976
Keep going... wherever the fuck we were going. Oh but before we leave, blow up LaRoque's robot as a show of dominance.

rolled 1 = 1

>>8783976
Do an active sweep of the surrounding area with the transcoder, and then head for whatever life you can locate.

I just got on /tg/ and saw this. FUCKING BRILLIANT, OP.

Now to read the thread and see if you pulled it off as well as I hope.

rolled 2 = 2

>>8784002
NO, SAVE THE ROBOT

YOU ROBOT RACIST

>>8784002
Before you fell under the spell of some space-pollen, you were heading for the emissions of an unknown high-tech device.

>>8784013
...There doesn't seem to be any life on this planet.

rolled 12 = 12

>...There doesn't seem to be any life on this planet.
>aliens right in front of you
wat?
rolling for comprehension

rolled 10 = 10

>>8784056
I said blow up that damned robot, OP!

rolled 8 = 8

>>8784056
Seal your helmet and head for the device, scanning along the way so that you don't get jumped again.

>>8784071
We failed the roll. I can tell you that.

Without Jibbles, I have no desire to continue...

rolled 3 = 3

>>8784087
>We failed the roll. I can tell you that.
Oh, I get the joke now.

rolled 4 = 4

>>8784074
this

>>8784074
"WAIT-DO-NOT-BE-HASTY-" the robot pleads.

The natives are watching you intently.

rolled 4 = 4

Rolling for tsundere robot.

Do not disappoint me fate.

rolled 11 = 11

>>8784168
"Final chance. You work with me, or I leave you as a pile of slag."

rolled 7 = 7

>>8784056
not even any sign of La Roque

>>8784199
this

>>8784033
IT HAS BEEN

EVEN WITH /tg/ BEING SHITTY PLAYERS

I LOVE YOU OP

>>8784199
"OWNER-STATUS-UNCLEAR. FORMER-OWNER-IS-CURRENTLY-SIX-HUNDRED-LIGHTYEARS-AWAY."

"AGREEMENT-OF-NEW-OWNERSHIP-UNDERSTOOD."

rolled 2 = 2

>>8784264
Now head for those emissions, Aliens in tow.

>>8784264
yes, now follow radar towards those tech readouts

rolled 12 = 12

>>8784264
Leave the aliens. They'll just be dead weight. Head for the emissions with the robot.

Meanwhile, back on Earth...


"SPACEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

>>8784308
TUUUBESSSSSS

rolled 2 = 2

Will he betray us if his master gets closer?

Scan for life again!

rolled 6 = 6

>>8784319
>2
DAMN IT!

>>8784299
Oh hi.

>>8784344
Disregard the 6 roll.

END OF PART TWO.

>>8784363
FUCK YES

>>8784363
scan ship for structural analysis, and for any sort of unusal or interesting tech

>>8784363
Nice work on the ship OP.

>>8784368
I'm thoroughly impressed thus far, Lego Quest. A well executed quest.

rolled 6 = 6

>>8784363
Fly off into sunset.
Use robot as hood ornament.

NOW WHAT?!

rolled 12 = 12

>>8784363
Run a full scan with your transcoder for point of origin, history, make, etc.

>>8784408
I have never rolled this high before with consistency. I'm mildly concerned.

>>8784363
That's a really, really shitty ship.

I love you for this. It's like an adventure I'd make my lego guys have hen I was 7.

>>8784424
I've rolled below 6 almost 100% in this thread.
GIVE ME MY LUCK BACK YOU BASTARD

>>8784458
NEVER!

MINE NOW!

>>8784430
'tis a fine ship
be proud OP
>I love you for this. It's like an adventure I'd make my lego guys have hen I was 7.
this is like the adventures I have with my Legos.
Today, at the age of 20.

OP, this is the best quest ever, hands down.

I was going to draw you a medal of some sort in MS Paint, but then I realized it would take up precious image space in the thread.

>>8784491
then we shall migrate.
give your medal.

>>8784491
Thread's in autosage mode anyway.

Part 3 will be along in an hour or so.

I'm really glad everyone's digging this. I wasn't sure if it was a dumb idea or if I would be able to pull it off.

>>8784569
Its been a lot of fun. Keep it up!

Spaceman with Transparent orange chainsaws

>>8784569
legos are never a dumb idea
someone save this thread

>>8784569
I thoroughly enjoyed this thread. Good going, OP.

>>8784569
Well, in that case, this image is most appropriate.

Hope you continue this some time. :D

>>8784618
Keep up with the chainsaws and you'll end up with some sort of huge weapon of destruction.

Wha-bam

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8780479/

>>8785707

New thread is here for anyone still refreshing.