Masturbate after waking up

-Let's meet that staff! In an excited as possible manner!

Masturbate furiously.

Let's inseminate some random bathroom sink and meet the current staff afterwards. No need to meet them horny and reckless.

Let's consider myself. If I'm to be the master of a mansion, I need to figure out what I'm actually going to do, beyond... master of mansioning.

We find the largest maid and defeat her in a match of fisticuffs, thus assering our dominance over the herd.

Consider self, noting skills and special abilities.

>>9047710
I have just woken up. I am reasonably assured I have a gentlemanly morning wood, as is befitting a young man of good health.

I masturbate.

Masturbate with a vengeance.

Inb4 this happens to us.

>OP hasn't responded
I think we're getting trolled HARD

>>9047771
>find the largest maid
>defeat her in fisticuffs
That's LOTS easier said than done: http://nigoro.jp/game/rosecamellia/rosecamellia.php

>>9047710
SHIRLEY! <3

Masturbate in a drunken rage.

>>9047827
I FUCKING LOVE SHIRLEY

>>9047833
YOU ARE THE BEST LOLI MAID EVER

Secret Rider eh...
How ironic, for that could describe us as well.
Quickly activate our henshin ability and search for crime to fight. I have it on good authority that chicks dig superheroes.

>>9047844
LOLI MAID DUST-MASK MOE

Coldly, cooly, with a calculating mind, masturbate.

>>9047858
I HERD YOU LIEK WARHAMS HERE

Train maids for combat. Send wave after wave of maids to conquer other old houses. Fill those with more maids and have them train too. Garrison houses with injured maids while recruit maids are used as cannon fodder allowing veteran maids to survive and gain experience. Eventually create empire of mansions filled with maids.

>>9047879
>>9047710
OP

GODDAMMIT THE PEOPLE CRY FOR OUR CHARACTER TO MASTURBATE YOU SILLY ROGUE

>>9047833
>>9047844
>>9047858
>>9047879
wut

>>9047890
You will never have a pretty 12-year old maid who assembles and paints your Warhammer minis masterfully in addition to her normal maid duties.

>>9047909
Maybe those things will be created .... IN THE FUTURE!

>>9047909
seriously wat

This is a translator's joke. What the fuck is going on here.

Somebody should take over for OP. This could be lulzy.

On the other hand, this is fucking /tg/. For example, this'd be MY solution:

Hire a huge staff, with a preference towards intelligent but uneducated girls trying to scrape by, from poor backgrounds. Tell them flat out about the secret rider in the will, and explain that you're going to pay them a fucking insane salary for the next month; so when you lose control of the temporary endowment, they should all walk away with enough money for school.

The Man's status: told.

>>9047858
>use of GW-brand Citadel paints
HOW BOURGOIS

>>9047724
>>9047734

Waking up after a dream where schoolgirls in short skirts featured in abundance, you find yourself with a very nice morning wood. Instinctively, you yawn, pull down your pants, and start to do what comes naturally.

You are interrupted just when it starts to get good by the door opening up and a cheery voice calling out, in a British accent, "Good mornin', young master, I brought you. . . OH MY! TERRIBLY SORRY!"

There is a shriek, and a sudden clattering as Samantha, the current Head Maid drops her tray on the ground and flees, shrieking in shock.

-----
Samantha, The Head Maid
Type: Pure / Pure
Level: Devoted

Special:Accent (British)
Bad Reputation
True Devotion

Weapons: UNKNOWN

Power: UNKNOWN

Roots: Hereditary Maid

Stress X: UNKNOWN

Athletics:1
Affection:3
Skill:4
Cunning:1
Luck:3
Will:2

Spirit: 20
Stress: 0

Samantha comes from a family that has been a member of the household staff for generations. She was very devoted to your Uncle, the previous Master of the House, and made a promise to him on his deathbed that she would take care of you.

SPECIAL RULE: True Devotion: Samantha has a special relationship level of "Devoted." This counts as a maximum relationship level (equal to "Trust") and cannot drop below that level, no matter what you do. Also, Samantha will never leave your service, although she may not approve of all your decisions.

Appearance: A young lady with a slender figure, blue eyes, and long, silver hair. Her uniform colors are black and white.

Take maids' monthly income. Multiply by five. Fill three envelopes with this number of dollars, or whatever currency works here.

Gather maids.

Announce:

"I will pay [this amount of money] to each girl who has sex with me."

Hope we've got a good credit rating.

>>9047924
It doesn't make a lot of sense unless you know it's a parody of a chapter from the original series. And even then it's not funny; it's just cute.

-----
A few minutes later, a tall, distinguished, British gentleman enters your bedroom, after you've had a chance to put on some pants. "Young master," he says, "Although it is your business what you do in the mornings, I would request that you apologize to my daughter when you do have the chance. She is unused to being around young men, and she was. . . most upset. . . at intruding upon your private time.

----
Reginald, the Butler
Type: Shadow/Elite

Special: Badass Mustache

Weapons: Machine gun, Striking Martial Arts

Powers: Unknown

Roots: Hereditary Butler

Stress X: UNKNOWN

Athletics: 6
Affection: 1
Skill: 4
Cunning: 6
Luck: 3
Will: 7

Spirit: 70
Stress: 0

Reginald is an old friend of your uncle's, and served with him in The War (which War? I dunno, pick one). He never likes to talk about his time in the service, but he does have a badass Captain Price mustache and a rather large collection of guns. He is Samantha's father, and the butler of the house.

-----
Reginald brings you a new breakfast (Full English Breakfast: rashers, eggs, tea, and toast!) to replace your ruined one, and puts it on your bedside table. As you eat, he goes about cleaning up the mess.

>>9047951
DEMAND SHE COME BACK AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS

And continue what we are doing. If she desires to be the hired help in this household, she'd best get used to what will become a common sight and occurance.

>>9047941

Actually, you know. Let's go with that. That sounds awesome and heartwarming.

This is our plan.

ALSO read the will carefully to find out where the money / mansion goes if you don't fulfill the rider.

>>9047941
I like the cut of your jib.

Consider self.

>>9047760

You are nineteen years old, and a complete nerd. Aside from suddenly coming into a huge inheritance, owning this house, and being a relation to a fairly prominent political family (your uncle) there's nothing special about you at all. Maybe you've got a little skill at household work, but that's about it.

Power: Blood Ties, Mansion, Wealth

Athletics: 1
Affection: 1
Skill: 2
Cunning: 1
Luck: 1
Will: 2

Favor: 10

>>9047969
>and served with him in The War (which War? I dunno, pick one).
It seems he served with dear Uncle during the Third Martian War against the New Guineans.

Continue what we are doing, ie. fapping. As we eat gentlemanly and elegantly.

>>9047963

What is the original manga about?

>>9047999
CONTINUE MASTURBATING, DAMN YOU!

WE HAVE STARTED, AND IF WE'RE A MAN WORTH OUR SALT AND OUR GOOD BREEDING, WE HAD BEST DAMN FINISH WHAT WE STARTED

>>9047969
Stop goddamn masturbating, get some self respect, and apologize to her later.

We're nineteen already, it's time to man up.

consider surroundings

>>9047969

Express to this man, in no uncertain terms, that you consider this mornings events to be nothing short of a calamity of unbelievable proportions, because it has potentially soured a relationship with a man who would actually know what we were talking about if we wanted to wax eloquent on the terminal ballistics of Winchester Silver Tip versus match ball ammo.

Find the poor girl and apologize to her IMMEDIATELY. We cannot lose the respect of a man this AWESOME.

>>9047924
nah, the original had the "bestial brown" pot of paint. WHFB is HUGE in japan.

>>9047941

Apparently you are also a complete and total bastard, as this is the plan that comes to mind. But what the fuck, let's roll with it.

As you eat your breakfast and watch Reginald clean up, you consider the proper way to go about your will. Coincidentally enough, there is a fairly lousy part of town nearby, and an inner-city high school. If you want to troll for poor girls, you might as well try there. It's worth a shot.

It is now noon of day 1 of 30. What do?

>>9048006
Lower-upper class lady in Victorian England needs help.
Little girl answers help-wanted ad.
Little girl gets hired out of pity.
Little girl turns out to be superior and perfect maid.
Continue slice of life stories and d'aaaaaaw-ing over how adorable and perfect Shirley is.

It's on Mangafox or Onemanga already. All of it.

>>9048035
But first we should pull up our pants.

>>9048048
Finish masturbating. Go apologize. Then go back to masturbating while breaking our fast.

>>9048049
Horrible ending?

rolled 4, 1, 1, 4, 6, 1, 3, 5, 5, 3, 3, 3, 4, 5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 5, 5 = 65

I use a power source to roll ten random events

>>9048073
In a sense.

It's Slice of Life. Its ending is that "it never ends". You get a drop-off ending, and some side stories of different maids in entirely different households.

It's good though, and a quick read. It's not a moe-fest.

>>9048077
I ignore your rolls, and see that you have rolled 65.

We are now in the Sora no Woto setting. And we are fucking boring.

>>9047979
This times one billion.

General consensus seems to be to apologize. . .

After finishing your breakfast, you manage to get changed and head out to find Samantha. You find her in the kitchen washing dishes. The kitchen appliances are pretty damn old and haven't been replaced since the 1970s. Everything is formica and pistachio green, but she seems to do okay.

"Oh, no need to apologize," Samantha tells you, blushing, "It was my fault for coming in without knocking. I'll never do that again. But. . . young master, if I may be so bold. . . ?"

You pause. She seems to be struggling to say something, but seems to be blushing way too hard to get it out.

>>9048048

Oh yeah. Let's roll with this. Maid work isn't exactly a well-paid job ;we wouldn't have to filter the applications too hard to find the ones without much money or ability to realize their dreams.

I briefly consider the possibility that this selection process might filter out those who are maids for more unusual reasons, such as hiding from the law, being robots programmed to please, martians in disguise, etc, and then discount it as wishful thinking. There are some things that just cannot be denied.

>>9048077
>rolled 4, 1...
A MURDERER ENTERS THE MANSION!
>...1, 4...
MASTER HARASSED BY RELATIVES...?!
>...6, 1...
CLOSED ROOM MURDER?!! GET DETECTIVE FUCKING CONAN IN HERE NOW.

>>9048107
Did you mean the Saya no Uta world?

>>9048146

"Well, go for it. I don't plan to be the master for long, you know."

>>9048092
Just read a few pages, it's nothing that interests me but I thank you for your replies.

>>9048179
lol no

ur gettin battler

>>>/rs/And_Battler_is_incompetent.

>>9048048
Not a total bastard, dude - we don't have sex with the maids, we pay them the sum total of the inheritance, such that after the thirty days, we "lose"... but those ladies that worked for us are now stinking rich.

At which point we go back to being an ordinary teenager with a hell of a story and a bunch of nouveau-riche friends.

You follow? We don't need to pressure them into sex. It is awesome!

>>9048146

"Miss, your father could crush the life out of me with one hand while polishing the banister with the other. We both know this. I assure you, you can speak with confidence."

>>9048191
". . . well, young master. . . I have heard that young men can go blind if you do that too much. Maybe you shouldn't do it so often?"

-----
>>9048077
>>9048179
>>9048107

Scenario rules: the Random Events Table is disabled for this scenario. However, you gain 5 Favor points as a Nice Try bonus, putting your total up to 15.

Unlike in the base rules, maids do not gain their own favor pools: you keep all the favor and hand it out as needed.

Find, Samantha, apologize for the incident, & ask politely about the whereabouts, known or guessed of every other maid. Go and meet all of them, on the grounds of "Understanding who is employed under me". This is assuming, there are currently maids other than Samantha(Please clarify.).

This way, we can devise a strategy to get laid thrice.

I look forward to playing this. Especially if this can be done in as despicable a way as possible.


Also, why are we on day 1 of 30? Did our presumably dead uncle want us to do this on a time limit? If so, I deem him a (Thankfully.) dead jackass, for giving us all this work PLUS a time limit. If not, I don't deem him as such.

>>9048241

Laugh a bit, and go "Alright. I'll cut it out."

>>9048146
Whatever happens, make sure we are doing something absolutely incomprehensible and "eccentric".

Like whirling around like a dervish, as she talks to us.

Inquire as to if any of the maids are traps.

>>9048241
OH IT'S ON NOW
Quickly spout off all you know about masturbation being healthy AND RECOMMENDED for the mental state of young men.

>>9048281
God no let's not be a total sperglord.

>>9048255
You can't do that.

To not fap is to not be a man. And what you would tell her would be an absolute lie otherwise.

>>9048296
And whyever not?

>>9048241
Ask her if she has watched us doing it at other times.

>>9048241
>I have heard that young men can go blind if you do that too much. Maybe you shouldn't do it so often?"
...Oh god no.

The NeoCon Religious Right have gotten to her.

>>9048308
Dude, we can keep it in our pants for thirty days.
I mean, probably.

>>9048241

Cut your eyes left and right conspiratorially, and then whisper "That takes at least six years... let's just say that I won't be around to worry about it."

Yeah, we're gonna fuck with them.

>>9048261
>>9048243

Samantha confirms for you that she and her father are currently the only household staff in the mansion.

Speaking of the Mansion. . .

The Mansion

World: Contemporary
Mood: Light-Hearted
Appearance: Palatial

Facilities: Beachfront property
Kitchen: Poor (1 of 5)
Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
Gardens: Poor (1 of 5)
Repair: Poor (1 of 5)
Beach: Poor (1 of 5)

At the moment, aside from a rather nice private beach nearby (which is, sadly, cluttered with litter), this place is kind of a dump. It's way too big for just two people to keep up.

Current employees:
Reginald (Butler)
Samantha (Head Maid)

It is still noon of day 1 of 30.

>>9048353
>don't fap for a month
HAHAHAHAHA OH LAWD NO

>>9048380
Facilities: Beachfront property
Kitchen: Poor (1 of 5)
Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
Gardens: Poor (1 of 5)
Repair: Poor (1 of 5)
Beach: Poor (1 of 5)

At the moment, aside from a rather nice private beach nearby (which is, sadly, cluttered with litter), this place is kind of a dump. It's way too big for just two people to keep up.

Current employees:
Reginald (Butler)
Samantha (Head Maid)

INQUIRE AS TO WHY UNCLE HAS SUCH A CRAPPY PROPERTY

>>9048380
Explain your plan to Samantha, saying you intend to lose the deal and pass the inheritance onto the servants.

Ask her to put up job postings.

While she's out, clean up the kitchen a little.

>>9048380
We are of good fortune, and as any gentleman of LOTS'O'MONIES, we must elegantly Pimp our home.

>>9048365
THIS, THIS!

>>9048365

I like this. Implying a terminal condition offers a rationale for your plotty plot about enriching poor maids (their belief in your altruism/strong ethical codes are going to go straight out the window when the first wacky misunderstandings make Hijinks Ensue,) and it's a first line of deception when things start to go awry.

Because despite our plan, OP is going to MAKE them go awry.

>>9048429
Tell her not to put age requirements on the help wanted ads.

And pray that pretty, good-hearted, skilled, 12-year old maids come to answer it.

>>9048380
As it is noon, a man must do as manners and society decree, and break for the midday meal.

However, we must do this with no pants on. Boxers only.

>>9048411
> INQUIRE AS TO WHY UNCLE HAS SUCH A CRAPPY PROPERTY

". . . well," Samantha admits, "This inheritance is really more of a. . ." she sighs. "Look, I'll just outright explain."

She pulls a photograph out of a wallet. It's a picture of her, and her father, and your uncle, in front of another house. It's much bigger and nicer than this one, and there's an entire fleet of maids in nice uniforms standing around in serried ranks.

"Well, your uncle was. . . a bit eccentric. And given that he pulled himself up from poverty into riches, he told us he'd be damned if he let anyone else get the money he earned without working for it themselves. And since no one's used this summer home since the 1960s, he's decided that in order to inherit his money, his heir will need to prove that they can work for it by fixing up the place nicely."

And the sex requirement?

"Your uncle," Samantha says seriously, "was also a screaming pervert. I was exempt because I was his best friend's daughter, but you wouldn't believe how he acted towards the household help. . . flipping skirts. . . boffing the girls in the bathroom. . . sometimes he'd take two or three to bed at a time. . ."

Suddenly things are starting to make more sense.

Gee... did the lawyer say exactly how the sexings will be confirmed?

>>9048495
>Boxers only
And to make sure we are in high style use the stripes and heart print one. And remember to put on a tie.

>>9048498
>sometimes he'd take two or three to bed at a time. . ."
Quickly offer a silent prayer for Dear Uncle's soul, because he is/was a Magnificent Bastard.

>>9048498
Well I don't believe Uncle is dead. He would have no way of confirming the third rider of his Will.

CONFRONT REGINALD AND MAKE HIM OFFER PROOF HE IS NOT UNCLE IN DISGUISE

>>9048498
Damn you, uncle! From beyond the grave. I can remember his face now.

Shrug to Samantha, say you'll try to be a little, uh, more dapper than him, and send her out maid-hunting.

In the meantime, fix lunch, clean up kitchen when I'm done with it.

I'm wondering, how much money that is not in a bank or part of an inheritance does our character have? Paying the maids without the inheritance is going to be difficult, and some may not work/kick our ass if they find out we don't have money.

Plus, I'm wondering if there's ways we could use any money we have to make more, which we could then use to hire a crew of people to fix up the house. After all, to my knowledge, maid's don't do things like repainting walls & retailing ceilings. Correct me if I'm wrong, though.

>>9048498

>best friends daughter

>screaming pervert

The good Butler just became... much more interesting.

>>9047909
>Good companions don't have the same hair colour as you.

That is the single most Chaosy Chaos quote I ever heard. Should there be 'skulls' or 'death' or 'bullshit magic' in there somewhere?

>>9048557

(You know, Reginald being secretly our uncle would be awesome, so let's save that confrontation for later, okay?)

(Plus, he'd probably kick our ass.)

>>9048429
>>9048458
>>9048495
>>9048515
>>9048452
>>9048365

After hearing about your family situation, you imply to Samantha that you have a terminal condition. . .

> Opposed Check: 2 vs 2, Will vs. Will

She seems doubtful. 1 Favor will be required to push the roll hard enough to convince her of it.

You have 15. Spend 1?

>>9048092
I can't bring myself to like the Japanese way of ending stories. You do either get no proper ending or sad one. I sometimes wonder why...

>>9048584
NO
CONFRONT HIM NOW
BREAK THE GM'S STORY
SO THAT SHENANIGANS CAN OCCUR AS HE AD LIBS A PLOT

>>9048564

>I'm wondering, how much money that is not in a bank or part of an inheritance does our character have?

When I conceived of this plan, I wagered we had- *enough.*

For starters, there has to be enough cash on hand to finance a large staff for a month, which isn't cheap, but the real meat is the money allocated for the renovation budget. That shit costs. Even if it's skimpy, there should be enough there to give those girls at least a chance at college.

>>9048596
Why would we want to convince her of anything?

Leave it at this and let her wonder either way.

>>9048596
Yeah, let's push it.

>>9048643
I agree.

>>9048630

No, no, that's not how to roll! We have already guessed the GM's plot, and it turns out, IT'S FUCKING AWESOME. We now have INSIDE KNOWLEDGE of the plot twist. This is a rare advantage, but it dissapears if we let on we know it to Reginald!

Can we have our plot twist and derail it, too? oh Yes, yes we can...

>>9048643

THIS

sow the seed of doubt, we don't need a solid certainty.

>>9047710

>1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.

Hire a renovation company.

>2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.

Hire maids.

>3. Have sex with at least three of them.

Offer a fuckload of money them for sex.


After the conditions are fulfilled, fire them all.


I've just won your shitty premise OP:

>>9048576
>That is the single most Chaosy Chaos quote I ever heard.
In a galaxy, which is this one, sort of far away, in terms of lightyears and warptravel, long, long to be, Kharne the Betrayer felt a single tear of absolute dejection flow down his cheek.
"BLOOD...blood...for...THE BLOOD god...? Kill, maim, burn?"

>>9048656

nah, let's go for it. We're spending for a sure thing, not risking a die roll, right? So let's go ahead and at least get one person believing it. That'll help it spread later.

>>9048643

Confirmed. Samantha looks dubious, but she nods. "I'll put an ad in the paper for more help right away," she says. She walks out of the kitchen and heads out to put an ad in the paper.

You spend some time cleaning up the kitchen. In the end, you wind up making it spic and span, but the appliances are still rather old.

Based on the other questions in this thread, you decide to find Reginald and ask him about allowances for household improvements.

-----
You find the old man in the back yard. . . strangely enough, your house apparently has a firing range. He has a large array of guns laid out in front of him, and he is test firing them all. It seems he's just finished with the rifles and is now moving on to handguns.

Your nerd instincts immediately recognize his pistol as a CZ-75

>>9048674
You fool! We can de-rail it now, and have even more fun as we all are in the dark as to how the story progresses!

Off the rails, and onto the ATVs!

>>9048723

Watch him shoot for a few moments before asking him our question.

>>9048723
Demand proof he is not Uncle in disguise.

Do the Secret Family Greeting Dance. If he is truly a man of Uncle's confidence, then he will perform the Faithful Servant Dance, but if he is Uncle, he will have to do the Family Member Dance.

Let's learn about Reginald's sleeping habits. He's confirmed by the GM to have a machine gun, if he is our Uncle we should A. Try to steal the machine gun & use it against him. B. Or, assuming the inheritance was going to be given to the grounds of our Uncle's death, we should try to prove Reginald IS our Uncle if he is, and use that to get him in legal trouble, to get money off of him.

Of course, if Reginald isn't our Uncle, let's not, except maybe for trying to figure out how to get his machine gun, if possible.

Reginald listens to your question, then shakes his head. "You are allowed an allowance two hundred dollars a day, but nothing more. . . not until you fulfill the terms of the agreement and inherit it all," he explains. "That allowance will have to handle all costs aside from room, board, and salary for any household help you hire: that'll be handled by a discretionary fund."

He puts down the CZ and switches to an M1911

>>9048723

Look over his battle rifles, and ask him if he thinks the .30-06 has better downrange ballistics then the .308.

Try not to drool over the Springfield 1903. Try HARD.

(the answer to this question is about as clear-cut as Apple vs. Windows, emacs vs. the world, and 3.5v4e, to make that one easy.)

>>9048821
Confront him as to his identity.

And stare at his well-toned ex-Serviceman ass.

>You find the old man in the back yard. . . strangely enough, your house apparently has a firing range.

Throwing this inheritance away just became A HELL OF A LOT HARDER.

But we will persevere. Because we have a terminal condition, right? Won't be around to enjoy it anyways WINK WINK

>>9047710
Dude, I'd do that anyway

>>9048821
Ask him if he's Dear Uncle.
Demand he strip naked to show that he does not have the hereditary birth mark of the family anywhere.

>>9048821

Ask him to teach you a bit of shooting.

>>9048900
This. Please.

>>9048774
>>9048766
>>9048674
>>9048630
>>9048584

You ask Reginald flat out, "Are you my uncle in disguise, watching over me to make sure that I do exactly what he asks for and follows his stupid will requirements to get my money?"

Reginald seems a bit surprised by that question: one shot goes wild and far. "What the hell made you think that, lad?" he asks.

"Just curious, seems like the kind of thing my uncle would do."

Reginald sighs. "Well, if you want to see the Death Certificate, you can go down to City Hall and pull it from the archives."

"You seem to be taking this rather well," you say.

"Laddy, I knew your uncle. I served with him in The War. And despite the fact that he was my best friend, he was also a complete wanker. When he died, I slapped him in the face myself to make sure he was dead."

Reginald now puts down the 1911 and picks up a Desert Eagle .50 caliber. He uses the huge gun as a doorstop to prop the door open as he starts bringing his guns back into the house (LOL HUEG).

>>9048821

Clever girl... but we are not yet thwarted. We are in a lighthearted whacky maid-story, and in such stories, there are Hijinks.

We shall simply await a fortuitous one. Or even, apply the old Security Chief Maxim- if a situation is needed and doesn't exist... make one.

>>9048927
>Desert Eagle
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>He uses the huge gun as a doorstop to prop the door open as he starts bringing his guns back into the house (LOL HUEG).

I have just decided that I really like OP, because I LOL'ed heartily.

>>9048927
>Desert Eagle .50 caliber
>Desert Eagle
We are a nerd.

You know what we must do now.

SCREAM.

AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.

"DEAGLE-BRAND DEAGLE!!!!!"

>>9049008
Nerd OCD? I guess we have to.

>>9049008
But a Deagle is a cross between a Beagle and a Dachsdund. IT'S A DOG, YOU FUCK

>>9048927

Reginald is a cool guy.

Let's go down and check out that beach, I guess!

>>9048927

Inquire as to how the, ah, rider requirement of the will will be... verified.

>>9049043
DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLE WHICH FIRES GOLDEN DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLE BULLETS

>>9049058

>Golden bullets

I think you're thinking of .338

>>9049008
>>9048966
>>9048990
>>9048900
>>9048926

As he comes back into the house, your eyes light on his Deagle. OMG DEAGLE! You flip out like a fanboy and ask him to show you how to shoot it.

Reginald gives you a sad, sympathetic look. "Lad, you don't want that gun," he says. "You want a real man's gun. If ye' really want to learn to shoot, come see me tomorrow mornin' and I'll run you through the paces."

As you walk back into the house, Samantha comes back in. "I put the ad in the paper!" she says. "And I found a new employee!"

-----
DECISION POINT!

You have a choice as to which of three girls Samantha brought home with her!

1. The Tsundere (redheaded spitfire)
2. The Kuudere (brunette)
3. The loli (blonde)

CAST VOTES NAO!

>>9049115
1

>>9049115
All of them. We're rich after all and our mansion is a trash heap.

>1. The Tsundere (redheaded spitfire)

Voting for this. The second one is oh so tempting, but... redheads. mmmmm.

>>9049115
Can we use horrible, never-meant-to-be-used science to fuse all three into some sort of loli battle machine?

>3. The loli (blonde)
Let us dye her hair red.

>>9049170

did you not see the Dwarf Fort thread with the fucking giant three-headed chinchilla? With ANTENNA?

Let's not go into the frankenstien monster business. We have been BESTED.

>>9049115
Definitely 1.

>>9049204
Is Franken Fran available for maid duty?

2

>>9049115

Tsundere is second. Isn't that the way it always works?

>>9049115
Put twintails on the loli when she gets here.

She'll TURN INTO a tsundere.

>>9049115
3.

looks like the redheaded spitfire it is! Yaaay!

>>9049115

1,2, and 3.

>>9049115
We're going to need more than 2 maids, so get all of them.

Votes are in. As of my starting the post, Tsundere wins.
-----
The girl is short, not much more than five feet tall, can't weigh more than a buck even. She's got short, red hair, and she's dressed in a rather grungy pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "So, legs here tells me you've got a job fer me?" she says, leaning indolently against the wall. She pulls a pack of cigarettes out of her jeans pocket, taps one out, and lights up.

-----
Katherine
Katherine, the Tsundere
Type: Boyish / Cool
Level: Hostile (1 of 5)

Athletics: 4
Affection: 0
Skill: 2
Cunning: 3
Luck: 2
Will: 1

Spirit: 10
Stress: 0

All other stats unknown.
-----
"So, how old exactly are you?" you ask.

"As far as you know, I'm eighteen," Katherine says flatly.

You look at her slight frame, her flat chest, and her short height. If she's eighteen, you're the King of England. And for the record, you're not. But as far as you know, she's legal (LOL IMPORTED HENTAI LOL)

>>9049334
>>9049320

Samantha only brought home one! We just get to choose which one it is. RTFM!

>>9049342
>If she's eighteen, you're the King of England.
She had best be, or even the King of England can't touch her.

LolBritonscan'thavelolianymore.

>>9049342
>She pulls a pack of cigarettes out of her jeans pocket
>smoker
SHE'S FIRED

>>9049342

>so legs here

Does Samantha have... legs? Hmm? HMM?

Tell Katherine we have to clean up the trash on the beach, for starters. Imply that a huge trash-disposal bonfire is not out of the question.

>>9049342

"Basically, we've got a place to fix up."
"I guess we're going to have to learn carpentry."

>>9049342
We will need to get rid of that smoking habit...

Additional: We should inquire as to whether the discretionary fund allows for the hiring of non-maid staff to fix/upgrade the mansion.

>>9049412

ahaha HELL YES.

>>9049412

Am I the only one strongly tempted to start calling Samantha "legs" to get her goat?

>>9049378

I can guarantee that this woman is at least eighteen years of age.

:|

Seriously.

Moving on. . .

-----
It is now afternoon of Day 1.

You have a few choices to make.

1. Order upgrades for a facility

You can upgrade:
Kitchen: Poor (1 of 5)
Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
Gardens: Poor (1 of 5)
Repair: Poor (1 of 5)
Beach: Poor (1 of 5)

2. Spend time with one of your three employees
Reginald: Butler
Samantha: Head Maid
Katherine: New Hire

3. Jerk off or something. You seem to do that a lot.

>slight frame, her flat chest, and her short height
Jup, sounds like the Japanese description of 18.

>Level: Hostile (1 of 5)
I'm not really knowledgeable in Maid RPG. How do we improve in this area. Or do we have to get her to Hostile (5 of 5) so she declares her love to us in some sort of tsunderegeddon?

>>9049342
"I have a proposition you may find interesting." This doesn't get told to every girl I meet on the street, but if I payed you an exorbitantamount of money would you enjoy with me a game of sex?

>>9049443

Let's upgrade the kitchen, damnit!

>>9049443
3.

>>9049443

Upgrade kitchen. Better kitchen = tastier food.

>>9049443
Order anything from 1, then proceed to 3, then 2

Seriously. It's not that hard or time-consuming.

>>9049421

Not really, no. we've only got two hundred bucks a week to work with (room and board is covered.)

I say stick with the current appliances, they may be old, but they're old-SCHOOL. They've got a charm to them. Kind of.

>>9049443
Upgrade the kitchen then masturbate.

>>9049443
Begin masturbation and then ask samantha to come to your room over intercom. After she stumbles in pretend that you didn't call her.

>>9049443
Upgrade the kitchen, help as good as you can. Stop being a teenage creep, improve to upper class creepiness.

>>9049443
Fix up the beach.

Spend time with the new hire in order to increase her loyalty level.

Jerk of at the end of the day.

If we upgrade the kitchen, there better be a fancy deep-fat frier.

>>9049485
>You are allowed an allowance two hundred dollars a day

Reading comprehension.

>>9049498
...That sounds dickish and hilarious.

Let's do this.

>>9049443
upgrade kitchen

Why doesn't op just run a maid campaign.

>>9049443

1. Upgrade kitchen. Good food leads to higher morale.

2. Spend time with Reginald and see if he won't instruct us in the MANLY ARTS OF PUGILISM. The request should be phrased thusly: "Dear Reginald, could you kick my ass in a fashion that would instruct me as to how not to get my ass kicked quite as badly?"

>>9049533
Because Maid RPG lacks direction. Really, really badly.

>>9049443
1. Kitchen.

3. 3.3.3.3.3.3. 3.

>>9049524

Hilarious, yes, but let's go for something that won't get our asses kicked quite so bad. Pull out the computer that you're inevitably working on building/cannibalizing (we're a nerd, right?) and strip down to your boxers. Static electricity, natch. When Samantha comes to the door act casual, because stripping down to work on computers is SOP, right?

>>9049443
Upgrade the kitchen.
THEN MASTURBATE FUCK YEAH

>>9049546
+1

I just wanted to say Maid Quest is the best quest. Too bad I have to sleep. Have fun there anonymous.

>>9049499
>>9049494
>>9049468
>>9049460

You put in an order for some new kitchen appliances. They'll come in tomorrow morning.

After a long, hard day, you decide to spend some time "relaxing." You head back up to your room, unzip your pants, and start masturbating to furry porn. Or something. I dunno what you masturbate to. You're a sick bastard, you'll fap to anything.

You're just about to cum to Sonic the Hedgehog reaming Tails up the ass when you hear a knock on the door. "Master?" Samantha asks.

>>9049608
Only if you're too poor to afford novelty one-use items like anti-static gloves.

And we're not rich enough to buy anti-static clothes.

Suggestions so far- consensus seems to be on upgrading kitchen, staff time seems to be on Reginald and learning dat hand-to-hand, and for the random event of the day, screwing with Samantha's mind.

I'll vote for the computer idea so Reginald doesn't murder us.

>>9049637
"Coooooooooommmmeeee iiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn.... Saaammmaaaanthaaa."

>>9049637
Orgasm, then open door. Pretend you're all okay.

>>9049637
Minimize "The Tail of Tails".
Call out - "Don't come in, I'm changing."
Make yourself presentable as fast as possible.

>>9049637

I got nothin

>>9049637
"Come in. Don't mind what I'm doing. If you're going to be working with me, this is going to be a common sight."

3 (loli) (blond)

>>9049685
+1 for sensible ideas.

>>9049637

>You're just about to cum to Sonic the Hedgehog reaming Tails up the ass when you hear a knock on the door.

Yes, I definitely like this OP.

>Master?

"Forget that bullshit, sweetheart. I'm a 19 year old computer nerd who's greatest skill is haxxing teh megahurtz, and you're a domestic management specialist. So you don't have to kowtow... uh, sorry, what did you want again?"

>>9049712
You, sir, are so late to the party.

>>9049685
seconding

>>9049675

I cannot agree with this, but god damn did I LOL.

>>9049724

Say this to stall for time while doing

>>9049685

Thought someone had taken over Mansion Quest for a moment.

>>9049685
Leave off your pants.

Pants are unnecessary for a man of your stature in his own home.

>>9049852
No. Did our uncle hit that? No, our uncle did not hit that.
And you know why?
Reginald.

>>9049637
good lord are we a disturbed young man. may as well invite her in, it won't be getting any better from here

It's an even vote between sensible and hilarious. . . so 4+ SAVING THROW VS. HILARITY!

> 5

SUCCESS!

You successfully make your 4+ "HILARIOUS" save and decide it would be the better idea to do the sensible thing. You quickly finish up and cum into your sock or something, then close up your computer. "Okay, come in," you say, kicking the sock under your bed.

Samantha comes in carrying a tray with a bowl of soup and a sandwich. "I made you something for dinner," she says, laying it on your desk. "By the way. . ."

She is interrupted by a sudden shout. "OKAY, WHERE IS THAT BLOODY PERVERT!?"

Katherine storms in. She is now wearing a maid uniform, just like Samantha's, but while Sam's uniform has a relatively modest, long skirt, Katherine's is mega-short, and closer to lingerie than a uniform. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS!?" she complains. "THIS AIN'T A UNIFORM, THIS IS FETISH FUEL!"

Samantha looks a bit nervous. "I'm sorry, Katherine," she says. "It's specified in the will: any young lady in the employ of this household with red hair and a flat chest. . ."

"I DO NOT HAVE A FLAT CHEST!"

". . . a modest bustline," Sam corrects, "must wear a short skirt."

"This is too short! If I take too big a step, I'll flash everyone!" Katherine complains. "Besides, isn't he in charge now?"

She points at you.

WHAT DO!?

>>9049874
screw reginald

>>9049874
What? What does the comfort of moving about without the barring encumberance of pants have to do with this.

THIS IS OUR HOME. IT IS OUR RIGHT TO BE COMFORTABLE AND PANTSLESS.

>>9049841

Had no idea there was already a thread going :P if there is, I'm sorry.

>>9049887
Name her Vita-chan.

>>9049887
Say "She doesn't have a modest bustline. She can wear the normal uniform."

Flip hair like a classy motherfucker. Is legs gonna argue with my call?

>>9049891

But we aren't gay!

>>9049887

Yackety sax time?

>>9049887
>red hair
>flat
>tsundere
Smells like...

Tell her she looks cute, to shut her up. She'll blush and be quiet for awhile.

>>9049887
Well, we've already done the sensible thing, so i guess she gets stuck with the fetish skirt.
Also Samantha's response is wonderful, she is definitely in charge of managing the staff from now on

>>9049841
At least we haven't been discussing the same fucking topic for 5 threads without getting barely anything done.

>>9049887
UNCLE'S RULES ARE PART OF THE WILL

I CANNOT DISOBEY HIS DYING WISHES

THE MINISKIRT STAYS

IF SHE FEELS BETTER, SHE CAN WEAR PANTYHOSE

>>9049929
Considering that we're fapping to furry porn, going gay for the manly butler seems like a step up

>>9049887

>What Do?

Inform the young lady that referring to us as "the pervert" instead of "The Master" demonstrates the kind of clear-headed thinking you appreciate, so you'll roust up your dress slacks and a jacket that will fit her till a proper dress uniform can be acquired and tailored to fit.

>>9049977

If we do that, might as well become a delicious trap.

Maybe we should do that anyways, just for lulz

>>9049977
Don't forget that it was gay furry porn.

>>9049887
"Sorry, but rules are rules."

>>9049984

Yes, this do.

Also, since we were fapping to gay furry porn, we may be gay. We should probably sort out our complicated sexuality at one point.

Or make all the maids wear fox ear headbands. Nyow.

>>9049984


>sonic fucking tails
>"the pervert"
>clear headed thinking

Girl does seem to have a good head on her shoulders, it would seem...

>>9049948

Well, I don't think she has much life in her. The iron went cold, and the original players are gone or uninterested. If someone wanted to pick it up I wouldn't object. Wasn't attacking here, just curious as to what was going on.

Time freezes just before your decision regarding the girl's skirt. . .

>>9050011
>>9049995
>>9049994
>>9049977
>>9049891

. . . okay, CRISIS POINT

SUDDEN DERAILMENT!

Shall this thread suddenly derail from MAID QUEST to MANLY MIDDLE AGED BUTLER QUEST?

VOTE NAO!

OP honestly doesn't give a shit, he can run either one just fine. . .

>>9050069
maid quest

>>9050069

MAID QUEST! I still vote for /transgender/, though.

For more wacky hijinks.

>>9050049
You misunderstood me. I really enjoyed your maid quest in the beginning but yours is probably the only quest that would have profiteered from a bit of railroading.

>>9050069
maid quest.

>>9050069
Nein
Tsundere-girl is the prize!

>>9050069
I vote for the maids, but then again I'm not the one that made us wack off to gay furry porn

>>9050069
Maid Quest, please.

>>9050069

...Naw, I was just joking. Maid quest.
Still, we can skirt-chase after we've gotten our shit together.

>>9050069
What the hey, I'll vote for the pursuit of Reginald

>>9050069
I want manly middle aged butler quest, for the record.

>>9050069

MAID QUEST

Reginald is totally for awesome fist-bumps.

maid quest

>>9050161

And guns.

We totally need a first-run CZ-75.

And a CZ 550 in .458 for big game hunting.

And a Remington 870 for Mansion Defense.

>>9049925

Brilliant.

>>9050069
MAID QUEST!

Maid quest, and I vote for a new thread. This one is getting close to autosage if it isn't already

Tell her, that your uncle made the rules(Emphasize this.), and to confront him if she has issues with the rules, but you'll allow her to wear whatever maid uniform she prefers as long as she does her job well.

We're trying to earn the money of an inheritance, and although sex is required, having our maids unnecessarily arouse us does not help much, if you ask me. Besides, perverted uniforms can be saved for those less likely to object, and letting the tsundere have her way will gain favor with her. And we can always just fire her if she's too much trouble or we have no more use for her.


Also, I vote for Maid Quest. MANLY MIDDLE AGED BUTLER QUEST can and should be a goal that we can pursue if we still wish to later, but guns remain in interest.

>>9050180

>And a CZ 550 in .458 for big game hunting.

dat rifle

Maids it is. . . it CONTINUES!

-----
"Look, Uncle's Will is absolute," you say. "I'm sorry, but you have to wear the uniform."

"Uncle? Who the hell is this uncle you guys keep talking about?"

You and Samantha look at each other and sigh. "Look," you explain. "I'm about to come into a lot of money, but I've got two things I need to do first. First, I need to hire enough maids to fix up this house."

"And second?"

"Sleep with at least three of them."

Katherine's face turns white. "Sleep with as in. . ."

"Have sex."

Katherine blinks. "Wait, then what's in it for. . ."

"Look, I don't need the money, I don't have long to live anyway. So all I need to do is make sure I fulfill the will, then I'll leave the money to the maids. Just play along for a month, and you'll get a share of the money."

"How much money?" she asks.

You tell her.

"Bloody hell!" she shouts. "For that much money, I'd put on a grass skirt and dance the hula, count me in!"

-----
Katherine's level raised to: NEUTRAL

>>9050069
Why not both?

>>9049977
SPOILER ALERT: the "manly" butler is actually just a tall, lean girl with minimal tits and a boyish haircut.

Although she's still manlier than we are, despite the lack of a Y-chromosome.

>>9050161
Exactly!
Fix the house, fuck the girls, finish in time for tea and hunting with Reginald

>>9050215
Are we currently planning to die after a cocain fuelled orgy in our late 30s?

>>9050200

AND we can bond with any gun-loving maids while reloading our brass with hand made bullets.

.458 WinMag is fucking expensive.

>Look, I don't need the money, I don't have long to live anyway. So all I need to do is make sure I fulfill the will, then I'll leave the money to the maids.

The deception continues!

>>9050265

>.458 WinMag is fucking expensive.

'Specially if you prefer to buy Winchester Super X.

And you should

And with that little crisis handled, you eat your dinner, play some video games or something, and then go to bed. . . Day 1 is over.

Day 2 continues on this thread: >>9050315