SPECIAL BONUS

Alright. heres what we do. Give one death ray to Reginald, keep the second for ourselves as a backup weapon (and an anti-reginald just in case).
Upgrade Repair to 6.
Keep Alien Sphere in room, dont touch it anymore than required.
Hire a Scientist/Theoretical Engineering Maid. (hot)

Masturbate.

Keep in mind, at the moment, you still have Samantha in your arms and are carrying her back into the house.

>>9054492
Hire lolified nazi scientist maid.

Talk with Alicia about genderswapping Kat.

If anybody ever breaks into our toolshed, we are a thousand times fucked.

Put Sam to bed, tuck her in, forehead kiss. Go to room and masturbate like the wind.

After that, its time to have a private talk with Alicia

>>9054492
Get Samantha settled after her ordeal. Put out aid for tech maid as well as more general help

Awww man, we didn't go for the special bonus?

Phooey.

Might as well masturbate I guess.

>>9054541
excellent. do this

>>9054532
Like I said, masturbate.

>>9054539 Here.

>>9054532 Tuck her into bed, forehead kiss, THEN talk to Alicia.

Well everyone has the day off due to the alien debacle, and we've maxed out a house stat, so let's kick back, relax, and... work the room.

But first, if he is at all open to it, slam a RIGHTEOUS brofist with Reginald.

His daughter being assraped might make him less then happy though. Best to avoid him if that's the case.

Bring Samantha into the house. Tuck her in bed. Make sure she's alright. Bring her food.

Then do >>9054519

And then talk to Alicia.

>>9054532
Take care of Samantha as best we can until she (or Reginald) makes it clear that it's time to leave her alone. This is up to and including sitting next to her for hours while she sleeps.

>>9054561
Let's be a gentlemen. Get her comfortable on a couch or bed, and then we can masturbate while we talk to her

2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.

WE NEED MORE MAIDS!

BIG ONES!

Secure our alien captive.

Thank Alicia for her help, tell her we'd like to talk more with her tomorrow.

Go check on Samantha, preferably with a pot of tea.

Also, I do want to know what the deal was with the Special Bonus.

>>9054581
The whole point of us having maids is so we DON'T have to masturbate...

>>9054532

Well in that case put Samantha to bed, but stay with her. Can't bail on the girl right after something like that happened, can you? Slip out after Kat or somebody comes to comfort her and attend to alien tech bidness.

Tuck Samantha in. Kiss on forehead.

Go to room, hide probulator attachment. Masturbate over later.

Find Alicia, see how she's doing and thank for help.

>>9054541
>>9054544
>>9054536
>>9054519

You carry Samantha back into the house, and gently tuck her into bed. She has calmed down a bit, and by the time you manage to get her into bed, she's stopped crying. "Are you okay?" you ask.

"I. . . I think I'll be fine. . . they. . . they. . . they. . ."

"Shhhhhh. . ." you cradle her in your arms as a fresh bout of sobbing starts. In the hallway, you see Reginald, splattered with ichor, walk past. . . seeing what is going on, he nods to you, a manly, respectful nod, and walks on to his room to get a shower.

Samantha is trembling, pressed up against you. . . you have to admit, the sensation is kinda nice. . . Her lips are pouted, her body is trembling, she is coming down off of a severe emotional high. . . In short, she's vulnerable right now.

Your call, anon. Press on, or be a gentleman?

I'm impressed the Gardens are still 1of 5

>>9054615
gentleman

>9054615
Press on. We're sick of just masturbating, and this is the one time reginald will probably be too busy to notice/care

>>9054615

i think the forehead kiss has spoken.

>>9054621
indeed those need to drop to 0 till we get some morning glories planted

>>9054615

GENTLEMAN

DEAR GOD, WE DO NOT WANT A PISSED OFF REGINALD

GENTLEMAN X1000!

>>9054615
BRB and ask Reginald's Permission first.

>>9054615
Gentleman.

Although holding her tenderly until she falls asleep is a good plan.

>>9054615
A kiss on the forehead is all. We already put her through something horrible. Let's do what we can to make her feel better. We can't have our most devoted maid go nuts when the witch on the premises knows what really went down.

>>9054615

gentleman! Samantha is just too cute to take advantage of T__T

>>9054615

Test the waters a bit. Put an arm around her neck, see how she reacts.

>>9054643

too soon.

>>9054615
Take advantage of her, we've still got a big erection from earlier after all

>>9054615

Let's be a gentleman about this. If we go too fast we might alienate alicia.

>>9054615
Gentleman. Absolutely.

>>9054615

Kiss her once. Once. One, quick peck on the lips, then hug her and tell her to go to sleep, and don't worry about working tomorrow.

Then go and settle this buisness with Alicia. She's awesome, but she's an enigma.

>>9054615
NO, WE'VE GONE TOO FAR TO SCREW THIS UP NOW

>>9054615
...Ask if her if she liked it, and wants a do over at human hands.

The stark fear of Reginald is fucking amazing. It's 3AM where I am and FUCK school, I am STAYING UP for this shit.

>>9054663

wise decision is wise.

>>9054615

Gentleman for now. We can take advantage of her later.

For now, let's use that alien tech to upgrade the Repair, and HIRE A SCIENTIST MAID.

>>9054615
Gentleman. Kiss her on the forehead, though go for the lips if she's willing. Let her rest.

In the meantime, we have Alicia to talk to.

>>9054615
Reginald is not in the picture right now, but gentleman nonetheless.

Gentleman wins.

Although it takes a while, she finally finishes sobbing, and falls asleep. . . on your shoulder. You're pinned there for a while until Katherine comes in and, giving you a suspicious glance, extricates the girl from you and lays her down on the bed, tucking her in.

As you walk out of the bedroom, you hear a low, throaty chuckle from the darkness. "I wonder what Miss Samantha would think if she knew her knight in shining armor was no hero?"

Alicia steps out of the shadows. She smiles at you as she licks her lips, predatorily.

>>9054703

Oh gawd.

>>9054703
"And I wonder what Miss Alicia thinks of the anti-hero"

>>9054703

"She already does. Suicide charges don't count for much when you've got six months on the clock and counting."

Shrug.

>>9054703

"I needed their technology. Underestimated their speed, unfortunately, didn't mean for them to get as far as they did. Though I certainly didn't mind seeing it."

"Why do you ask?"

>>9054723
+1

>>9054703
"I did what I had to do."

>>9054703
Seems like the bitch needs a raping.

Give it to her.

>>9054703
"Probably be even more horribly traumatized. Are you planning to inflict that on her, or is this a purely theoretical line of discussion?"

>>9054723

Always on the offensive... daddy LIEK

>>9054703
Silence, witch! You live still merely at our whim!

gentleman

>>9054703
Act mildy amused and refuse to acknowledge she has a position of power. Don't be cocky or antagonistic though; see how this goes.

>>9054703

Explain what we planned to do, ie: Ask for permission first, then have the balloon go up. I'm sure a witch of her caliber will understand. We just fucked up is all.

Then inquire as to genderswap for our delicious redhead.

>>9054615
gentleman

>>9054642
>DEAR GOD, WE DO NOT WANT A PISSED OFF DARE MASTER!

>>9054703

we told alicia that we volunteered sam for alien probing?!!

damn, we're an idiot. fabricate a cool story, bro.

>>9054703
"Dunno, what does the inquisition think about harbouring witches?"

>>9054723
>>9054734
>>9054736

"She already does. Suicide charges don't count for much when you've got six months on the clock and counting. Besides, I needed their technology. Never meant for them to get as far as they did, but I can't say I minded the sight either."

"And I wonder what Miss Alicia thinks of the anti-hero"

>>9054723
Sorry, we're doing this.

>>9054723

Alicia shrugs. "I honestly couldn't care less. I'm just curious if you give a care at all if I told her the truth?" She smiles. "However, that's beside the point. Let's get down to brass tacks. Come to my bedroom tonight, at midnight. We have things to discuss."

She turns and walks away. There is a chill in the air. Literally. Like in a Dan Abnett novel, she has left a layer of frost on one of the windows, symbolizing that something weird and supernatural and evil is going on.

>>9054703

Just reply, "Hello Alicia. I need to speak with you in private." Try to sound as distant as possible- she's very controlling of her familliar, so if you defy her she'll pay more attention to you as she tries to control you.

Also, try to remember any obscure loopholes in your Uncle's will. Just in case Alicia will try to cheat you out of it.

>>9054703

"I wonder what the local inquisitor would think of a witch living among humans?"

>>9054798

Well, I guess we're staying up past midnight...

>>9054751

This. I am curious to see what kind of woman Alicia is.

>>9054798
Keep the deathray at the ready.

>>9054798

YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH the plot thickens

>>9054798
scene skip to midnight

>>9054798

Go out for a "walk". Buy condoms and a concealable knife to hide within the depths of your anus.

Now we play the waiting game.

>>9054798
Do something useful with our remaing time and masturbate while researching witches who travel with catgirls on the internet. After we've finished spanking our meat, we could also switch from pictures to text.

>>9054798

masturbate at 11:00, have a drink at 11:30. we want to be cool headed for whatever's coming.

>>9054798
Go masturbate, then visit Alicia after midnight

>>9054798
Finish the day's chores, eat dinner, go to Alicia's room.

>>9054798

"I care. Simply miscalculated. I was planning to rescue her before they could get their fun, but the gray men were just too eager it seems. Almost remind me of myself."

"Well, cheerio, see you at midnight."

In any case, you put an ad in one of the papers for a scientist. Or something. I don't know, how do you hire people like that? You do it. Or, at least, Reginald does.

You spend some time waiting for midnight with some "quality time" with the piece of gear you took from the probulator. You sick bastard. I expected no less.

It is now midnight. You go to her bedroom with some trepidation. You have no idea what is coming.

You're probably not expecting this.

>>9054825
>concealable knife to hide within the depths of your anus
Is it terrible that I immediately started thinking about what kind of sheath you'd need to make this practical?

Also, yes; eat and fap before going to Alicia's room, and bring a concealed death ray.

>>9054878
i immediately thought of that one scene from man on fire.

>>9054865
I gasp at what i didn't expect?

>>9054865
She's an alien.

Drink shittons of Caffeine, and wait until 12:01 to walk in the room. She can't trick us if we're wired as all hell.

We should also think of ways to improve the house- WE NEED NEW MORNING GLORIES.

>>9054865
Aww, I was hoping the 6 out of 5 Repair technology would turn out to be a robo-meido.

>You spend some time waiting for midnight with some "quality time" with the piece of gear you took from the probulator. You sick bastard. I expected no less.

At least we still have our priorities straight

>>9054865
Please tell me it's not another penis.

>>9054865
This... is worse/better than I feared... I think

Alicia has a penis too?!

>>9054865

Lingerie? No?

She's Leon Akasha, isn't she, in all her futa glory?


>>9054878 The Russians developed a fully functional 9mm that you could hide up your ass. A knife should be easy, compared to that.

>>9054906
Me too.

>>9054865

>how do you hire people like that?
WANTED: Mad scientist for reverse-engineering alien technology. Not a joke. Young women preferred.

>>9054913
>>9054922
Hire one trap and you start seeing them everywhere

>>9054922
its her magic wand. she needs to get it up to cast bigger spells.

>>9054925
I wonder why they decided to go with the umbrellas shooting little radioactive bullets instead?

>>9054865
It's your uncle, isn't it?

>>9054952
little poison bullets. And it was because noone liked shoving a ricing soaked bullet in their butt

"Tell me," she asks. "Do you believe in demons?"

The room is pitch black, and the only light comes from the starlight shining through the windows, pure, cold, and silver-blue. In the dim light cast by the stars, you can see a hint of horn, of batlike wings, of a long, sinuous, reptilian tail.

"I wonder," Alicia says, smirking, "how much your uncle told you about your family history. Whether you know why he was so obsessed about your ability to have sex with women. Or why he left his mansion to you, in such a strange state of affairs, with such a strange rider on his will? Did it ever occur to you to wonder? Or did you simply dismiss it as the ranting and raving of a sex-crazed maniac?"

>>9054952
you can stick the umbrella farther up your ass.

Then suddenly we realize Alicia is a bear.

Start throwing your clothing at her, then rub yourself with fresh feces and charge her screaming.

This is the future.

>>9054972
Eh, I just figured my uncle was awesome and thought I needed to get laid more

We had better have our revolver and a deathray concealed upon our persons.

Also we should have set a very loud alarm clock in our rooms set to go off in fifteen minutes. In case we are... detained longer then that.

>>9054980
Roll for bear lore.

>>9054972
Fuck yes. She is a succubi.
Fuck her. hard. in every hole. She is a succubi. she wants it.

>>9054972

Wait...

Succubus?

So... wait.. we're some sort of incubus descendants or some shit?

>>9054980

>>9054972

"After today, I believe in just about everything babe."

"Random shit like this seemed typical for my uncle. You saying its something else?"

>>9055004
She'll eat our soul. I like our soul ;_;

>>9054972
Turn the lights on.

>>9054972

"Don't care. Are we going to fuck and, if so, would anything bad happen if we did?"

>>9055004
That's a pretty hurtful stereotype. Even succubi can get headaches you know

>>9054972

"Well, he WAS a politician, and it does seem to, ah, run in the bloodline, so no, it seemed pretty kosher."

>>9054972
I didn't though you appear to be forcibly changing my mind. About Kat though...

>>9055004

Succubi is plural. Learn to language.

>>9054972
"To be honest, not really. I tend to shrug and go with the flow.

Also, don't take this the wrong way, but how in the hell do you weigh less than a duck? I mean, legs up to here, perfect curves, and now horns and a tail too? I can't believe I'm saying this to a woman, but I think you might want to gain some weight."

>>9055009
As the ancient Hawaiians say, "Time for a dicking."

>>9055044

Oh shit. This will not end well.

>>9054972

Ignore her question. Approach her and stand just a fraction in her personal space.

"What are you?" (semi-wondrous tone)

Is she the "suck your soul out through your genitals" type of succubus?

>>9055018
Do this.

I don't want to be fumbling around in the dark.

>>9054972
Daemon! Warp spawn! Return from whence you came!

Huh, it strikes me that our usual response(masturbate) would probably work well here. Yet oddly no one has suggested it

>>9054972
I presume there's something you want from me then, if you're telling me all this.

>>9055058

do this, but say this

>>9055013

>>9054972
I do not stand for this mysterious bible black shit.

I turn the lights fucking on and ask her to fuck off.

>>9055018
Brilliantly simple. Let's do this.

>>9055073

this is also a good plan.

>>9054972
"Mostly that last one. But yeah, it was odd.

And as for whether I believe in things that go bump in the night, I've already fought off a small host of aliens. Demons aren't too farfetched."

>>9055018
I like your style.

>>9055073

I second this anon's advice. Let's take out our dick and see where it goes from there.

>>9055018
Turn on the lights, spend one or two seconds staring at her, then jerk off.

>>9055089
>>9055018

Do both of these.

>>9055018
Flip the lights on, it'd be an amusing scary mood killer.

>>9054972

You make a snarky, sarcastic comment. She smiles.

"That too. . . but a man like that could never have had the kind of success with women that he did without help. The kind of help that comes from people like me."

She spreads her wings, wide. Her naked body gleams in the dim darkness.

"The deal was made with your ancestor, a wizard in the late 10th century," she says. "Riches, power, and women. . . more than he could ever hope to have. In exchange. . . his soul. But the damned bastard decided to renege on the deal." Alicia shakes her head. "A simple ritual. Cast here, at a place of power, using powerful sexual magics. Three women, representing the three faces of the fates, taken by the one who carries the blood-bond. Their juices anointing him, sealing him against my power." She sighs and shakes her head. "And each soul, sealing the one before, in a chain leading back to that first ancestor."

"I wish to make a simple deal with you," Alicia says, softly. "Do not complete the ritual. Break the chain. It will cause the seal upon souls of your uncle, and your ancestors before them, to be released. They will become vulnerable, and me and mine will take what is rightfully ours. We will allow you to keep the power, the money, and the women. We will give you more than they ever had."

"All we ask for is our revenge. Revenge on the one that wronged us."

She smiles, a wide, mirthless smile.

>>9055147

works for me. (>>9055089)

>>9055163
Flip the lights on. Tell Alicia there's no need to be so coy, we're pretty accepting of anything we see at this point.

>>9055169
Dang it, we're going to need more maids then

>>9055169
HAHAHAAAAAaa, that's funny.

Seriously, this kind of shit never ends well. I'm not doing it.

>>9055169

TEEEEEMPTING

Stare at her body blankly, then reply," Uh, what? Can you say that again, and don't move around when you talk." Continue to stare at her body regardless.

>>9055169
PANIC- SHOOT EVERYTHING

>>9055169
Deal!

>>9055169
Tell her that we'll have to think about it

>>9055169

Fuck.

You.

Turn on the lights. Ask her if she thinks we're stupid. Leave room, put out an ad for a paladin maid.

>>9055169
Two words:

"I accept."

Kiss her.

>>9055169

fuck that, we intend to bet 3 sexy maids and there's nothing she can do about it.

i'm hoping one of the three faces of the fates includes Kat.

>>9055169
What guarantee do we have that money, riches, power, etcetera rains upon us, and we don't get powerfucked by Hell?

Flip on the lights.

"Waaaah-haaaaw-haaaw, Pilgrim. A deal's a deal, but if you wrote a contract you kin screw yer way out of, then I guess that joke's on you."

Then make a play for your RAYGUN

>>9055228
Because if she's lying to us, we'll fire her.

>>9055169
Turn the lights on, tell her we'll think about it, go to bed and masturbate.

>>9055169

"So, condemn all of my ancestors to an eternity in hell so that I myself don't have to worry about that happening in the future? Wait, that actually sounds like a good plan. Awesome. So are we going to fuck or not, because I didn't get to finish my morning fap today."

>>9055198
>>9055183
>>9055163
>>9055134

Annoyed at Alicia's fearmongering, you turn on the lights.

"Sonovabitch!" she shouts, shielding her eyes against the glare. "Warn me before you do that!"

You get a nice, long look at naked succubus body before she fumbles for the lights and flip them off again. You are immediately aroused. Masturbation fodder for months, baby.

>>9055169
"My boner's shriveled. Thanks for bringing up the eternal damnation shit, MOM."

"We'll talk about this in the morning. Right now, going to my bunk."

>>9055169
We agree if Alicia also agrees to be our plaything

>>9055169

Whelp, that was kinda specific on the "women" and juices part. Sorry, faggots that wanted "plan B" with Kat.

Soo...does this mean we can still win...if we don't win..? Yea, that was our plan all along, heh heh heh.

>>9055169
ask her for time to consider the options as weighty decisions such as that cannot be decided upon so swiftly. also. whip out and masturbate furiously and invite her to join you in the meantime.

>>9055169

"I see. And what's to stop you from deciding, 'Oh, on my way out I'll claim your soul too for fun!'?"

>>9055169
Decline, demons always screw over humans in these types of deals.

>>9055226

bed, not bet.

So. Accept the deal or no?

VOTE NAO

>>9055169
COOL STORY LADY

>>9055233

Grin broadly. "So in Soviet Russia, you screw the contract?"

>>9055248
Make "oonts oonts" noises as you turn the lights on and off, bobbing up and down, and with a stupid face, say, "RAVE PARTY!"

oonts oonts oonts oonts oonts oonts oonts

>>9055248

Decline the offer. One must be loyal to family above all.

And dealing with anything from hell NEVER ends well.

>>9055169
How about no? We can't let her have the damn souls of our forefathers for a couple extra bitches and bucks. If worse comes to worse send her back to hell with the alien blaster.

>>9055169
"I'll decide later, good night."

>>9055169
We will never give in to your foul temptations, daemon! As sexy as they may be, we're too pure of mind and purpose! Also, Samantha is to be our waifu! No use being even more of a bastard than already, and have the guilt of that weigh on us every time she looks at us with her innocent eyes.

>>9055266

NO

DEMONS LIE

>>9055248

Chuckle at her.

"We'll think about it. Anything else you wanted to tell us, or ask us?"

Make plans to hire a paladin maid.

>>9055266
No. Infernal bargains never turn out well, and we have no evidence that what she says is even remotely true.

>>9055169
Turn on the lights.

Then ask what would happen if we made love to her instead. Or whether we could negotiate a different deal. One where we would break the ritual, but instead of giving us more money, power and women, they only take the soul of the wizard who started the whole thing and let the other souls move on.

>>9055169
You're turning on my ancestors. How do I know you won't turn on me?

>>9055266
>>9055248

Sure, why not. Our ancestors brought this on themselves.

Let's score with her.

>>9055266
dont say anything. walk towards her slowly and take off pants

>>9055266
Decline.

After all, she'll be released once we "die" of our "terminal illness."

Nay.

>>9055266
WE'LL THINK ABOUT IT JESUS, WE GOTTA RESEARCH DEMONIC CONTRACT LAW HERE GOD DAMN IT

For all we know, this could be a nigerian prince style scam here. "YOUR ANCESTRAL LINE HAS ULTIMATE POONTANG WAITING FOR YOU IF YOU WOULD ONLY SEND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER TO US"

decide later.

>>9055273
oh god i loled

>>9055266
Can we put it off for now. It seems like this is what most people would like, and it's not like we're close to being able to or needing to fufill the will yet anyway.

>>9055266
We'll decide later. She wants something from us after all, we can afford to keep her hanging for a while.

>>9055273
>>9055269
These are awesome.
internetbrofist.jpg for both of you.

>>9055286
>Samantha is to be our waifu!

You just... don't get it, do you?

>>9055266

no deal, demon. but ask if felicia is fair game or not.

>>9055273
>>9055273
>>9055273
>>9055273
>>9055273

THIS

OH MY GOD FUCK WITH HER.

Then run like hell. So, No, decline.

I VOTE

>>9055273

The vote is no.

You think about it for a moment. . . "I'll ummm. . . have to think about it," you say.

"Such a pity," Alicia sighs. "If you had only seen reason, things would be easier. Felicia, kill him."

There is a sudden yowl and something grabs you from behind. A huge panther the size of a fucking OMG BEAR grabs you and starts to drag you into the shadows. "NYU" it roars.

CRISIS MODE! FIRST VOTE WINS IT!

>>9055248
Tell her we're turning the lights back on, then do so.

If she asks why, tell her that we'd rather see her clearly than make her think she had to hide in the dark.

Shit self

Shoot 'em up, Guns Akimbo

>>9055311
the idea of 419 demon scams fills me with humor.
"Simply pay the transaction fee and we will forward the unclaimed souls to you"

Pet her behind the ears.

>>9055266

Well, on the one hand if we do fuck three maids, then there's the chance that one of our descendants will screw us over. I'm going to go with accept. Also, let's fuck her right now.

>>9055339
Purge!

>>9055312
This! Don't say no to a naked demon's...face! Reg isn't here to help us!

>>9055339
MASTURBATE

Decline for now. If she protests, get close and brush her cheek.

"Why so hasty? What does time mean to a demon all of a sudden? Got somewhere else to be?"

>>9055339
DEATH RAY ON FELICIA.

>>9055339
Railroading asshole.

>>9055339

One hand lightswitch, other hand FUCKING RAYGUN TO PANTHERS FACE, BITCH.

Fuck her

>>9055339
SHIT
WHAT WAS OUR ATHLETICS AGAIN?
ALSO, WHERE'S THE NEAREST SILVERED THING

>>9055339

MAKE A PLAY FOR THE RAYGUN

>>9055339
Change mind, accept offer.

Have three-way with catgirl and succubus.

>>9055339

RAY GUN.

>>9055339
ALSO YELL FOR REGINALD

>>9055339
Dammit woman when i say i have to think about it I mean i have to think about it. I have 26 days before this is critical. have your damn pussy put me down!

Decline, dealing with demons always ends badly. It's a miracle our ancestor got away with it and that's ONLY assuming demon maid is telling the truth, which she probably isn't.

>>9055356
>>9055346
>>9055350

Don't forget to switch our death-ray to stun beforehand.

After this shit is over we need to do some research so we won't get screwed over if one of our descendants makes a deal like the one we were just offered.

>>9055345
>>9055339
Niiiiiiiiice.

so we shit ourself as a cat girl eats us.

imokaywiththis.jpg

>>9055339
Do >>9055296

NEVER!

>>9055266
no deal

Ray gun, blast Alicia. If the contract-holder for the familiar is severed, she is without a master and suggestible.

>>9055353
O so close. And what a perfect way to end the quest this would be

>>9055350

Thankfully, you came prepared. Drawing the alien death ray from your waistband, you turn and fire into the hell-beast, over and over. After the first shot, it ignites on fire, burning alive. . . it shrieks as it vanishes in a burst of hell fire and brimstone, wailing, "NYUUUU!" in a most piteous fashion. Then you remember it tried to kill you and you don't feel so bad any more.

"FELICIA!" The succubus screams. She throws out her hands, and long, razor-edged claws emerge from her fingertips. "DIE!" Alicia rushes you, screaming like a banshee, her powerful claws swiping at you, ready to rend your flesh. . .

CRISIS MODE! FIRST VOTE WINS IT!

>>9055412
Shoot self.

Turn on the lights and use the death ray. SCIENCE vs MAGIC.

>>9055407
+1 although I would prefer switching our ray to stun.

>>9055412
MASTURBATE

HOLY CUM!

>>9055412

TEAR HER HEAD OFF YEAH

light switch

NOW

>>9055412


KEEP FIRING!

PURGE THE DAEMON! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL!

>>9055412
masturbate while shooting her

>>9055412
START SINGING KATAMARI DAMACY WHILE SHOOTING HER WITH THE RAY GUN

Shit self again, then shoot, as many times as possible!

>>9055412
Drop prone. Feet to throw her over you into wall. Point gun.
"MOVE AND DIE."

>>9055412

RAYGUN RAYGUN RAYGUN RAYGUN RAYGUN RAYGUN

>>9055412
Dodge out of the way in an awesome fashion and blast her in the face while yelling something witty.

>>9055419
Aw hell.

>>9055412

Lights on to disorient, roll to far side of the room and level gun.

Then we open dialogue.

>>9055419
Metaphorically! With... sprinkles and love...

>>9055412

"Go home, bitch."

Zap.

>>9055412

"Foul demon, I cast thou into the pit from whence thou came! HAVE AT THEE!" Fire the ray gun and become a paladin. Smite demons with meido sidekicks. BEST END.

>>9055419

oh for fucks sake...

>>9055449

what troll? I don't see a troll.

>>9055447

This, but make it a completely unrelated remark!

>>9055412
Turn on the lights.

Then walk out and spare her. We owe her our life, after all. Time to repay that debt.

>>9055472
So, can you smite evil with a pelvic thrust?

>>9055493

1d4 piercing weapon

>>9055498
are you joking? we don't have a dagger. we got a longsword. 1d8

>>9055419

Deciding you would rather die than be killed, you immediately turn the death ray on yourself, burning yourself to ash. It hurts like hell, and you die screaming.

You wake up in a pit of brimstone, screaming in pain. Standing above you, you see the regal form of Alicia, glaring down at you, an evil, cruel smirk on her lips. "Well," she says, smiling. "That was unexpected. It seems you've sent yourself straight to my own realm."

She reaches for your soul, but her claw slides straight through your ethereal form. "Damn," she mutters. "Looks like that damn seal is still active. No matter. . . in about. . . twenty seven days, when you still haven't completed the ritual. . . that soul will belong to me."

She cackles and walks away, leaving you hanging, helpless, shackled to the wall, deep in the pits of hell. . .

> UNEXPECTED PLOT TWIST!

WHAT DO!?

>>9055498
Then let's smite the evil the fuck out of her

FEED HER THE BLAZING FURY OF A THOUSAND YEAR OLD ALIEN EMPIRE

>>9055483

"I should probably have Samantha do the laundry tomorrow."

>>9055509

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-

Try to get free. Or seduce her. Or both.

>>9055419
Fucking hate you.
>>9055509
Call for Reginald. obviously.

>>9055509
PURGE! KILL! MAIM! PURIFY!

>>9055419
i hate you, anon. look what you've done now.

>>9055509

Kill a spectral rat with our feet, pry a bone from the grisly corpse with our toes, pick the locks, and SACK UP.

There's only one way out of hell, and that's THROUGH.

>>9055509
masturbate!

All right guys, you have some choices.

1. Continue the plot from where it left off: Maid Quest now becomes ESCAPE FROM HELL! quest.

OR

2. Burn one of your three Power Sources (Blood Ties, Mansion, or Wealth). You wake up in your own bed, and it was all just a dream. . . but you sacrifice one of these three advantages you currently hold.

FIRST VOTE: Run with it, or RETCON?

>>9055509

Are you really going to let one troll derail the whole quest?

Well, assuming you are...

Appear to Reginald in a vision. Warn him about the situation.

>>9055509
>>9055419

>>9055509
Take pistol, kill imps, find shotgun.
Pic related, its our face.

>>9055509

Can we get a do over?

RUN WITH IT MOTHERFUCKER

>>9055541
retcon

>>9055509
God
DAMN
ITTTTTTTTTT

Hang on.

Is Felicia down here with us?

Start calling "NYUUU?!"

>>9055509
Call upon the spirits of our ancestors and ask for help. They have to come or the demon will claim their souls by the end of the month.

>>9055529
It turned out okay, didn't it?

>>9055509
Come the fuck on OP, don't listen to blatant trolls, the heavy majority wanted the death ray against the demon.

>>9055509

Pray to god, devote self to him, use righteous power to smite demon. Also, try to call to Reginald in his dreams. He's the sort of man who could make Hell itself run screaming.

>>9055449
shit...

>>9055509
Scream for Reginal, and perhaps a nice Deus Ex Machina.

Alternatively, find the way Jesus got out and follow him. We'll lose three days, but it'll get us out of there.

>>9055541

What would happen if we lost blood ties?

>>9055541
WE ARE ESCAPING FROM HELL DAMN IT

Samantha's cunt calls to us!

>>9055536

VIRGIL, HEAR MY CRY!

>>9055509
FUCK THAT! I PUNCH MY WAY OUT OF HELL.

Go find the spirits of your whole ancestral line and begin an uprising against hell.

Because seriously, you've got 27 days, and it's been established that they can't fucking touch you.

Let's blow this fucking popsicle stand.

>>9055541
DOOM GUY CAMEO

WE MUST TEAM UP WITH DOOM GUY

>>9055541
Let's roll with it.

>>9055541
Blood ties are the source of this whole damn mess! All just a dream. But now we're suspicious of Alicia.

>>9055509

We don't have a choice. We need to open dialogue.

Make a deal. Tell her that if the seal runs out she only gets us. One soul, and no way she can ever get our ancestors. If she takes us back and continues working for us, we can get the others for her. In return, our soul is left alone for all eternity

Fuck being manly, this is Hell. We don't owe our ancestors anything. We didn't choose this shit, we had it thrust upon us. Our ancestors knew the rules of the game when they played.

>>9055509
Start "oonts oonts oonts"ing in your chains while you wait.

>>9055541
Burn the Blood Ties.

>>9055579
this

>>9055562

This.

>>9055541

1. Continue the plot from where it left off: Maid Quest now becomes ESCAPE FROM HELL! quest.

Ret-cons are weaksauce and dim witted horny master needs to grow some and come back from the netherworld with the capacity to turn Karl into Katherine.

Row row fight Diablo!

>>9055541
We're sticking with this damn it. THIS QUEST HAS BEEN RUN FOR AND BY RETARDS, THIS ISN'T CHANGING.

>>9055584
Probably not gonna happen, but whatever TWEEST Gosh-Sama put on it would likely be hilarious.

Fuck it. MAID QUEST is now ESCAPE FROM HELL quest until we can make it MAID QUEST again.

We're gonna fuck that succubus silly too, before this is all said and done- and then we're gonna be back on top AND have one screw down.

>>9055509
So we don't get the rave option but you pull that suicide crap?

Fuck you, I'm done playing.

>>9055541
Roll with it, but try to keep the silliness and AWESOME intact. Knee-deep in the Dead mode might be a fun diversion.

>>9055614
Honestly, at the pace this game can move, we might be out of hell in just a day or two. Plenty of time to get to boning and mansion fixing.

Wow, way to ruin something awesome OP.

>>9055584

>>9055573

Let me clarify what happens.

1. Mansion: If you lose Mansion, the house is basically destroyed in an earthquake as you battle Alicia. You continue the quest as before, but you must also rebuild the Mansion to succeed at the end of the quest.

2. Wealth: Your allowance is cut off. In addition to doing what you have to do, you also have to find a job and earn your own way to completing the quest. The game now adds a money and inventory management side quest.

3. Blood Ties: A scandal erupts as your uncle's unsavory activities come to light. You lose his good name. It becomes harder to recruit and to keep maids.

>>9055592
Let's do this.

>>9055541
We're getting out of Hell, and we're pulling Cleopatra out with us for a bonus meido.

>>9055584

This anon speaks the truth.

Let us and that UAC USMC SOB kick ass using the BFG to get us some PHAT Meido.

>>9055657
You're kidding, right?

>>9055657
Sacrifice Blood Ties. We can make it perfectly clear that we are NOT our uncle.

>>9055664
One vote for rip and tear quest.

I'm greatly enjoying all the pussies baawing about the plot twist.

OP, I'm right behind you for sticking to your guns in this. We're staying in Hell.

>>9055657
FUCK THAT SHIT. WE ARE PUNCHING OUR WAY OUT OF HELL.

NOT EVEN HELL CAN HOLD US FROM GETTING OUR SWEET, SWEET MAID SEAXAN.

>>9055657

WEALTH. WE DON'T NEED OUR ALLOWANCE. WE CAN WORK.

Or you can just realize you're being a dickhead and get this quest back on track free of cost.

>>9055657

How do we escape from hell and return to a physical body?

Is it just a simple matter of returning to our bed in our mansion while in spectral form? Or is it more complex?

>>9055657
Burn Blood Ties. have Samantha help us clear our name from our Uncles.

>>9055657
>You continue the quest as before, but you must also rebuild the Mansion to succeed at the end of the quest.
Pretty sure permanent alien tech-enforced Repair 6 should protect against this; complete destruction kind of counts as disrepair, I suspect.

>The game now adds a money and inventory management side quest.
Y'know what? Fuck it. Lose the Wealth. I almost want to force you to follow through with this terrible, terrible, boring side-quest in a way that doesn't piss everyone participating off.

Appeal to the spirit of Felicia. If we can come back with the little one by our side Alicia might be willing to compromise!

>>9055584
+1

Time in hell is essentially... timeless. We've played our hand fast and loose this whole game. Suicide wasn't cowardice, it was a tactical maneuver. Let's track down some previously employed maids and fuck them RAW before we head home.

Through Satans guts, with a fucking chainsaw.

If we are in Hell, we need some music worthy of KNEE DEEP IN THE DEAD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agjvHXvwTzc

Looking up at her, we tear our shackle from the rock with our brute strength.

"Bitch, do you not know who the fuck I AM?!"

>>9055541
1! We can be the first motherfucker that doesn't have his life handed to him on a silver platter in this godforsaken family.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

>>9055657
Let's fight our way out of hell. We'll fight for our right to have maids, and to fix up a mansion, and to chill with BAMFs like Reginald. WE'RE GOING TO RIP AND TEAR OUT OF HELL, THEN GET SOME NEW MAIDS TO ROMANCE, AND FIX OUR MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE.

Plan B:
"Bitch, who the hell do you think I am?!"
Burst chains with Strength from Reginald and Love of Samantha.

>>9055717
And we'll force Alicia and Felicia into servitude.

>>9055657
Burn Blood Ties. We can sweep the skeletons out of our family's closet.

And we can also get back at Alicia. We don't owe her a thing now.

sac blood ties. sonofabitch.

Basically OP, my question is this.

Would Escape from Hell be a side adventure of Maid Quest, or would this completely replace the old game?

My vote hinges on this.

Let's post an ad to hire an angel maid to get us out of hell.

I'm voting for hell. This GM has conclusively proven how fucking awesome he is, and this game flows nicely from one event to the next, at speed, so we'll be back on track shortly.

... AFTER we rock our way out of hell like a BOSS.

>>9055730
THAT TOO

Also, we need some way of getting the first wizard that started this fucktaculous mess into Hell.

>>9055741
That's something I would like to know too.

Welp, this has turned to shit in a hurry.

>A maidservant or in current usage maid is a female employed in domestic service.

>Once part of an elaborate hierarchy in great houses, today a single maid may be the only domestic worker that upper and even middle-income households can afford, as was always the case for many households. In the Western world, comparatively few households can afford live-in domestic help, usually compromising on periodic cleaners. In less developed nations, very large differences in the income of urban and rural households and between different socio-economic classes, fewer educated women and limited opportunities for working women ensures a labour source for domestic work.

>>9055754

AND LEARN MAGIC FROM HIM.

You know what? You guys are right.

As you hang there in chains, staring up at the sky, you mutter to yourself, "This is bullshit."

A voice calls down from above. "What?"

"I said, this is bullshit," you mutter. "I didn't want to shoot myself, you made me do it. You're a railroading goddamn asshole."

There is a sigh, and a midget with a bald head and a long beard appears before you. "Railroading asshole?"

"Look, first you railroad me into not being able to negotiate with Alicia, then you decide that I shoot myself because some goddamn troll decided to post a troll post. This is bullshit. I'm not doing it."

The Dungeon Master scratches his head. "All right, you got me there. Look, what if I do this. You won't have to scrap a power source if you decide to retcon, okay?"

"All right. . ."

"But I'm also gonna make this deal with you. If you decide to stick around in Hell, I'll make it worth your while. Some cool shit will happen. But I'm not gonna make you stay in here if you don't want to."

". . ."

"Your choice. Either we can restart just before you shot yourself, or we can run with it. I'll let you make the choice, no penalties."

VOTE NAO.

wait, does the alien tech trump the earthquake? so we can escape hell, and our mansion rebuilds itself overnight, much to alicia's chagrin?

>>9055766

Doom Mode engage.

>Maids perform typical domestic chores such as cooking, ironing, washing, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, walking the family dog, and taking care of children. In many places in some poor countries, maids often take on the role of a nurse in taking care of the elderly and people with disabilities. Many maids are required by their employers to wear a uniform.

>Maids traditionally have a fixed position in the hierarchy of the large households, and although there is overlap between definitions (dependent on the size of the household) the positions themselves would typically be rigidly adhered to. The usual types of maid are:
>Head house parlour-maid (alternatively known as head housemaid or head parlour-maid); answerable to the housekeeper or butler.
>House parlour-maids (or simply housemaid), or under house parlour-maid, if there is only one; answerable to the head house parlour-maid or in the case of an under house parlour-maid, to the house parlour-maid.
>Chambermaids (also known as housemaids) — a chambermaid is a maid who specifically cleans and cares for bedrooms, and is a more common term in hotels rather than riching
>Nursery maid — specifically for looking after children; generally answerable to the nanny.
>Kitchen maid; answerable to the cook.
>Between maid — a potentially difficult rôle picking up miscellaneous jobs and (problematically) answerable to the housekeeper, butler, and cook.
>Scullery maid (also known as the cinder maid); answerable to the cook.
>Lady's maid — outside of the normal hierarchy, the lady's maid was a senior servant who reported directly to the lady of the house.

>>9055766
Sacrifice Blood Ties.

Restart

Emperor bless

>>9055766

GIVE THE PRIZE. WE WILL DRAG ALICIA AND FELICIA BACK HOME THROUGH HELL IN FUCKING CHAINS!

>>9055766
We will fight our way out of hell, and claim our war prizes.

HELL

EXTREME ANAL ADVENTURES WITH ALICIA IN HELL

>>9055766

hmm. hell could be fun, i like the sound of "cool shit."

>>9055766
Rocking hell, revenge on Felicia and Alicia.

>>9055766
Sacrifice Blood Ties. Our family clearly didn't deserve the good name they had, if they were doing shit like this.

We can right the wrong.

>>9055766
still going for retcon

>>9055766
I'm sticking with Hell.

I enjoy games that have the possibility of going off track because of dumbass douchetardery on the part of the audience. I trust you to turn this into something entertaining, and I don't want you to bend and break just because the expected didn't happen.

I say we stay in Hell, good sir. You're the first quest that I've really decided to stick with, and I want to see you turn turds into gold.

>>9055766

Thank you for being so reasonable. But I'd like you to answer >>9055741

If Escape From Hell can fit nicely into MaidQuest without overshadowing the rest of the game, I'm all for it. If not, best pretend the troll never posted.

>>9055766

So long as we're guaranteed to get out of hell with no earthtime loss.

And you ignore the blatant trolls.

Well, I gotta hit the sack. This quest was epic OP, looking foreward to some crazy shit on the archive.

>>9055773

I vote we retcon using this idea right here. I do not doubt OP's GM'ing ability in hell one goddamn bit, but the random suicide doesn't... flow.

And besides, for those who want DOOM-mode... we could still die. Oh yes. We could still die.

>>9055766
Let us continue with our little hellish side-quest.

restart

>>9055817
>If Escape From Hell can fit nicely into MaidQuest without overshadowing the rest of the game, I'm all for it. If not, best pretend the troll never posted.

This! I liked the maids. This will be cool, but we've still got 27 more days to work. If we aren't going to get gipped out of that, I'm cool with it.

>>9055766
I bargain with the DM and ask for no earthtime to have passed in addition to the current terms

>>9055766

Okay, that's more like it. Honestly, you seem like a skilled GM, and Hell is a pretty awesome place, so I'll give you a shot in hell.

(If it wasn't 3 AM I probably would have stolen your name, started a new thread, and started an alternate quest thread.)

My vote is for brief sidequest as well. I wubbed our maids T__T

>>9055766
Voting for Hellquest. Cool shit sounds cool.

. . . the decision is made.

"Look," you sneer. "I didn't draw first blood. You made me draw first blood. But even if I didn't start it, I'm going to fucking END this. Bring it on, motherfucker."

"All right," the Dungeon Master smiles. "Okay, so here is the retcon. Shooting yourself like a punk is pretty stupid. . . so instead you managed to fight off Felicia, but you got killed by Alicia instead, after a badass, manly fight. Now you're chained to a stone wall, and you've got to figure out a way to fight your way out."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" you ask.

"Just wait, help will arrive." And with that, he folds up his DM screen and vanishes in a flash of plot.

As you hang there in your chains, quietly wondering what will happen, you hear a sudden shout, and a scream of pain, and then the clang of steel against flesh. . .

>>9055829

Here's an idea. Instead of commiting suicide, we were just too slow with the gun, and Alicia killed us.

Let's us avoid retcons without keeping out-of-character actions.

But before deciding anything, >>9055741

Heaven or Hell?

LET'S ROCK!

Image related, she'll be our non-love triangle maid. The walking trash disposal platonic sis-bro.

>>9055860
New thread?

>>9055766
Voting for retcon due to the random and bizzare nature of our death. If we end up in hell again later(not outside the realm of possibility) then escape from hell quest is fine

>>9055860

MASTAZ IS MADE FOR FIGHTAN AND WINNAN!

WE'Z GONNA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! OUR WAY OUTTA HELL!

>>9055860
Steel + flesh = clang?

Recon.
There's plenty of fighting demon quests, maid stuff is different.

>>9055860

HEEEERE COMES VIRGIL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU

>>9055860

Looking up, you see a figure in ichor-stained armor fighting their way down a blood-stained mountain peak, their sword flashing as they decapitate monster after monster. . .

-----
And yes, for those of you who want to know: this will remain MAID QUEST, not ESCAPE FROM HELL QUEST. You've gotta get out of hell and back to your mansion to get some maid lovin'!

>>9055860

Alright. Wait for whatever it is to come into view. Practice our pitiable face and puppy eyes.

>>9055860
Prepare to interact in whatever comes up in as manly a way as possible.

This is hell. If we're doing this, we're doing it with balls. 4 of them.

>>9055910
Fuck ya, Paladin maids!

So no hunting for secret items in hell?
I am sad.

>>9055860

>>9055921
... Saber?

>>9055910

While Dragonforce might be cliche, My Spirit Will Go On came on RIGHT when I read that post.

LETS DO THIS!

>>9055910

That decides it for me. You rock, OP.

Now, let's scream like a little bitch for the knight to save us.

>>9055910
call 'em over. You work for us now.

>>9055910
Saber?

>>9055919
>we're doing it with balls. 4 of them.
Are we a krogan now?

>>9055910
I archived this as Maid Quest 4: Hellquest.

>>9055962

No, because we're a quint. And we shit Dark Matter.

New thread is here:

>>9055966