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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:51 No.9073610

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:

Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/
Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050315/
Part 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9052773/
Part 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9054492/
Part 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9055966/
Part 6: >>9070998

You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.
3. Have sex with at least three of them.

Mansion Status:
Facilities: Beachfront property
Kitchen: Decent (2 of 5)
Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
Gardens: Poor (1 of 5)
Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
Beach: Average (3 of 5)

Staff
Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)
Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE
Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Warm)
Alicia/Asmoday, the tall, buxom glasses brunette (Hostile)
Felicia, the cute catgirl (Hostile)
Jehanne, the paladin (Trust)

33 XP

This is now day ?? of 30.

Through a bunch of circumstances too complicated and annoying to recount here, you are in Hell, at the base of the Dildo-Tower of Lady Asmoday, Demoness of Lust. You have defeated the Mawler, he whose true name is "Pakmann, Devourer of All." Jehanne has lost her clothes. So have you.

You are in the realm of Nightmare, Demon of Sloth. You are back in your kitchen. Your DM is trying to get you to start a FATAL campaign.

WHAT DO?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:53 No.9073665 RESIST! IT'S JUST AN ILLUSION! SNAP OUT OF IT!

>>	Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)22:53 No.9073666 wake up from this obvious trap. do so calmly. disbelieve the demon to death!

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:53 No.9073669 I bust out my Pre-rolled Anakim from another campaign. "I've already logged over 120 gaming sessions in this campaign and honestly i must say, i find Dark Heresy a far more balanced game"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073681 >>9073610 I'd love too, but I'm afraid I have to run you through with this sword. You know how it is, demon of sloth and such.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073686 grab mountain dew, cheetos. Ask DM why we should switch system rather than finishing current game. Imply he is a fag

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073690 Total nerd? Check. Total pervert? Check. Utterly shameless and pathetic? Check. FATAL HOLDS NO HORROR FOR US, DEMON! NOW, YOU WILL BE CRUSHED!!!!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073694 >>9073610 "Before we begin, I want you guys to all roll for anal circumference."

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073699 Addendum: 120 campaign sessions with this character (Anakim)

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073701 WAIT, THIS IS SLOTH TWO CHOICES 1. Pull through the campaign, doing shit like never before 2. Refuse to play, saying there are issues more important to take care of

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073707 >>9073610 Could we try not to forget >>9073434 ?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:55 No.9073717 >>9073610 Request the entire table roll for anal circumference, and then roll a shitton of will saves to disbelieve while they're distracted.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:55 No.9073719 Resist the illusion! We have far better than a basement full of neckbeard friends to play FATAL with. Well, I mean, in this game we do. In real life none of us do.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:55 No.9073726 The DM, it's the demon, I say! Kill it!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:55 No.9073738 >>9073707 I don't think we ever actually made that pact with her.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:56 No.9073743 >>9073726 Careful. If it's a dream/illusion, it might have us ending up attacking our lovely paladin.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:56 No.9073749 Also, your pic... How many drinks have you had now?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:56 No.9073764 >>9073743 Indeed. No stabbing. In fact...let's try and beat the demon at its own game. Sit down and roll gleefully for anal circumference.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:57 No.9073766 >>9073610 Sit down and play. Be That Guy, roll Oscar, derail the campaign, make the DM ragequit. We're already an annoying prick, we were destined for this job.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:57 No.9073769 Cum so impossibly hard, with the force of a thousand suns, that it shatters the illusion and kills the demon.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:57 No.9073781 >>9073738 I meant we shouldn't forget to make that pact once we've escaped our nightmare.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:57 No.9073782 >>9073766 He's the demon of nightmares? Let's give him a true nightmare.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:57 No.9073784 I got it guys. Give the nightmare demon a nightmare. kill him with his own medicine!

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:58 No.9073793

>>9073694
>>9073690
>>9073686
>>9073681
>>9073669
>>9073666
>>9073665

"All right, let's roll for Anal circumference," you say. "Let me get out my prerolled character."

Your DM seems startled. "Wait. . . you want to play?"

"Dude, I surf /tg/. It takes sterner stuff than this to make me flinch. I've played Call of Cthulhu. I've read Dranon's Delight. I've read Squad Broken. I've played 40k agains Necron players. In 4th Ed. And this is obviously an illusion. I attempt to disbelieve."

There is a flash of light, and then you are back in the antechamber. There is a rather scrawny looking demon looking up at you, confused. "That usually works," he admits. "I'm surprised it didn't with you."

"I'm a fa/tg/uy," you sneer. "I eat trolls on a regular basis."

Then you punch him in the face.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:58 No.9073805 >>9073764 >>9073766 >>9073782 >>9073784 I think we've arrived at a consensus.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:58 No.9073806 >>9073784 Good idea! But how? Let's see, how do we normally deal with strange situations...

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:59 No.9073812 File1270781956.jpg-(54 KB, 600x750, 63492.jpg) >"I'm a fa/tg/uy," you sneer. "I eat trolls on a regular basis." >Then you punch him in the face.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:59 No.9073813 >>9073793 FUCK YES. Punch him again and again until he's unconcsious. LOOK FOR JEHANNE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:59 No.9073815 >>9073793 Flawless Victory.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:59 No.9073821 >>9073793 Oh, so it was a DMon

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:00 No.9073832 >>9073793 Knock him down and jump up and down on his face. Meanwhile, look around for Jehanne. Is she in the room?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:00 No.9073835 >>9073793 FUCK YEAH Mexican Wave

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:00 No.9073840 >>9073793 Punch him in the taint and continue to the next room.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:00 No.9073841 Proceed to RIP&TEAR (tm) CLEAVE SMITE DESTROY

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:00 No.9073844 I figured our paladin friend would be in a nightmare of her own but did we just smoke the sloth demon already and thus break her free of whatever she's in?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:01 No.9073850 "Now, you should let the young girl go, or I'll give Sloth a new meaning... INCAPACITATED" Then wait for Jehanne to rightfully accomplish her duty

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:01 No.9073868

>>9073821
>>9073832
>>9073813

You beat the demon over and over until it's head is a bloody mess on the ground. Then you kick it for good measure. It's pretty scrawny, actually. It feels good. Vengance for too many lunch times spent fleeing jocks in high school.

You find Jehanne curled up in a corner. She is whimpering. "The penises, the penises," she whimpers. "There are over nine thousand of them. . ."

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073874 >>9073793 Turn the demon into a maid. It's the only fitting punishment!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073885 >>9073793 Seek Jehanne, and then ask the DMon to join forces with you.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073887 File1270782147.gif-(2.92 MB, 320x180, 1266651626052.gif) I believe this is how we do it

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073888 >>9073868 "Jehanne! Snap out of it! The cocks aren't real!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073891 >>9073868 There's an easy way to shut down her libido. Whisper into her ear, "Goatse..."

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073896 >>9073868 Try to wake her. gently

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073901 >>9073868 FUCK! Talk her through it! Make the pact! >>9073434

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:02 No.9073906 >>9073888 Might want to make our cock less evident if this does wake her up. Saying that and having her wake up to one in her face would be bad.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073909 >>9073868 Help her up as unlecherly as possible, let's go to the next door. It's the lust one, so are we clothed or not again? I think some sort of clothing would be very helpful.

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073913 >>9073888 Quickly add "Well, most of them, at least."

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073914 >>9073868 Hug her tenderly and gently snap her out of it. Try not to let her see our massive erection.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073916 >>9073868 Kiss her passionately. give her mind AND body something to focus on. then once she comes back to reality. "It was the only surefire thing i could think of"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073917 >>9073868 Wake her up from her Oprah-like nightmare. "Fear not, lady! I have vanquished this demon into a bloody vanquished fucking pulp!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073918 >>9073868 "Nah, only mine, unless this body I h- to hell with this, PALADIN, UPHOLD YOUR DUTY"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073922 >>9073868 "Wake up! This is not Oprah, remember?"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:03 No.9073926 >>9073868 IT'S OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLIMB THAT WALL OF DICKS!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:04 No.9073940 Slap her out of it

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:04 No.9073942 MAKE THE PACT! HELP HER THROUGH THIS!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:04 No.9073951 >>9073940 WITH OUR HAND OF COURSE HAHA RIGHT GUYS?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:05 No.9073954 >>9073868 Stand before her, your mass at attention, and state... "Gaze upon my cock, Jehanne! The cock above all others! The cock that shines like a beacon of hope through the darkest night! Focus on this cock, and break from your nightmare!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:05 No.9073979 >>9073954 LOL

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:06 No.9073987 >>9073954 SHIIINIIING PEEEENIIIIIIIISSSS!!

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:06 No.9073988

General Consensus: snap her out of it.

You grab her, shake her, and yell in her face. She comes out of it in a sudden daze, blinking away the vision. Thankfully, you remember to duck down to her level so that the first thing she sees is your face, and not your schlong.

"YOU!" she screams, pointing at the Sloth Demon. "YOU DID THIS TO ME! DIE!" She runs at it with her sword and stabs it through the head, exploding it in radiant light. It probably could have dodged, but it doesn't seem to want to bother.

As you're about to suggest opening the next door, it opens on it's own. . . bursting into splinters.

"FUCK!" screams a tall, bulky figure in bright yellow and red armor. "FUCK FUCKING COCK COCKNOCKING WHOOOOOOOOOORES!" He begins to slam his helmeted head with the large, electrified wrench in his hands.

Jehanne gulps nervously. "I think we've just met the Slayer, Demon of Wrath," she says.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:06 No.9073996 >>9073987 Later, friend. Later.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:06 No.9073998 >>9073954 Wow. How do you walk with balls that huge ?

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:07 No.9074005 >>9073954 I so wish I'd seen this before I started typing up the update. :P

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:07 No.9074008 >>9073988 Reply to demon: "GO CHOCK ON A WALL OF DICKS, ASSWIPE!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:07 No.9074009 >>9073988

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:07 No.9074014 >>9073988 say hello to kikoucho

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:07 No.9074018 >>9073988 "FUCK YOUR SHIT YOU COCKGOBBLING NIGGER FAGGOT" Charge

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074026 WHY SHOULD YOU, THE STRONGEST, BEND OVER TO THE WILL OF A MERE SEDUCER?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074027 >>9073954 1. This 2. Make the pact described here >>9073434 3. ??? 4. Profit

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074028 >>9073988 Hmm. can we just wait while it beats itself up. Or tell it that the wall looked at it funny

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074031 >>9073988 Make the demon of wrath rage so hard that he destroys himself. Troll him good. Edition wars, pretty marines, touhou, avatar (the movie and the annoying habit), Dranon's delight, and even squats. Yeah, I went there.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074033 >>9073988 Hug him.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074035 >>9073988 ask him when his next concert is and where the rest of the band is

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074036 That's not an angry marine/knight is it...?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074043 >>9073988 Hmmm. Honestly, this seems more like Jehanne's area of expertise. But then, we're demonproof. Wink at her, then charge up to Slayer and punch him in the cock.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074050 >>9073988 Tell him that Commisar Fucklaw is downstairs, and a few hours earlier he'd called him a pussy. A huge, raging pussy. He might want to go down there and take care of that.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:08 No.9074052 File1270782536.jpg-(446 KB, 1004x493, angry marine fuck you.jpg) >>9073988 THE BATTLE IS JOINED

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:09 No.9074056 >>9073988 Ask her about her nightmare

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:09 No.9074057 >>9074005 Don't worry. I have a number of spectacular groin-centric speeches in me.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:09 No.9074066

>>9074018
>>9074008
"EAT A FUCKING COCK, YOU GOATFUCKING NIGGER!" howls the Wrath demon. He slams at you with his Power Wrench.

> Your Attack Roll: 6
> His Counter Roll: 2

In his rage, he forgets that his pauldrons are far too large to allow him to swing the wrench properly, and he slams himself with the edge of one of them. You barrel into him, knocking him back through the door, and you tumble to the ground.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:09 No.9074070 >>9073988 "Hey faggot, ready for your steel enema?" Maybe if we taunt him, he will become so cross he will make a mistake.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:09 No.9074074 >>9073988 Tell it that a guy in similar suit in a neighboring tower keeps talking about how pretty he is and needs a beating.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:10 No.9074082 ANGRY MARINE?!

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:10 No.9074087 >>9074066 Pull our .22 out of our ass (Reginald always said ALWAYS have a gun on us) Start unloading into his face. saying a prayer

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:10 No.9074091 >>9074043 Y'know, the demon of gluttony ate most of our body. I'm not sure how demonproof we really are. It might just affect Alicia/Asmoday.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:10 No.9074096 >>9074066 "SUCK PUS YOU SHIT-GIGGLING MONKEY CUNT!" And then call for Jehenne to deliver THE FINAL BLOW.

>>	Jabberwock 04/08/10(Thu)23:10 No.9074097 File1270782652.jpg-(15 KB, 450x601, 1266362560205.jpg) Ask him if love can bloom.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074102 >>9074066 Rip off his gauntlets and beat him with them. STOP HITTING YOURSELF STOP HITTING YOURSELF

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074103 >>9074087 THIS!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074112 >>9074074 this Add the fact that he posses a nice rose garden

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074117 >>9074066 Tell him some purple vanity demon was walking around with a rose in his mouth acting like a huge faggot and talking about how the wrath demon is a big retard.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074118 >>9074066 Thrust your SHINING PENIS directly through him.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074119 >>9074112 Change that to Tiger Lily

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:11 No.9074122 >>9074066 Troll him until he explodes out of nerdrage.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:12 No.9074124 >>9074097 maybe this

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:12 No.9074125 Okay, vote time. 1. Taunt him. 2. Shoot him with the gun we keep up our ass. 3. rip off his gauntlets and make him punch himself with them.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:12 No.9074126 Ask him how he feels about Objectivism.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:12 No.9074135 >>9074125 3

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:12 No.9074140 >>9074125 1

Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074144

>>9074125
2! While informing him that although you are wielding a gun you are in fact a level 20 monk who is using the borrowed gun of Reginald that has also taken a VOW OF POVERTY.
That or Bluff that you are the ultimate multiclass.
20 Aristocrat/ 20 Bartender

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074146 >3. rip off his gauntlets and make him punch himself with them. What could possibly go wrong?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074147 >>9074125 taunt

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074148 >>9074125 3, easy.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074149 2

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074152 >>9074125 Better idea ask him whats the matter.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074153 >>9074066 Tell him how the purple guy is better looking and overall better than him.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074154 >>9074125 1 will probably just make him stronger. 2 probably won't hurt something that big and well armored. That leaves 3.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074158 2. Shoot him with the gun we keep up our ass.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074160 >>9074125 1. About being dominated by a Lust demon, and how he could join us and take the tower

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074161 Tell him how our life is twilight.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074162 >>9074125 3. Everyone knows you save your assweapon for the last boss.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074164 >>9074125 3 STOP HITTING YOURSELF

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074167 >>9074125 all 3 of course

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:13 No.9074169 >>9074125 3

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:14 No.9074175 >>9074125 Taunt time!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:14 No.9074182 >>9074125 3. I don't want to give Jehanne funny ideas about our anal proclivities.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:14 No.9074197 1 taunt him with the pretty marines and shit

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:14 No.9074199 >>9074125 3!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:15 No.9074206 Say a prayer for him "Oh noble warrior who has fallen from the path of righteousness, may the Emperor have mercy on your soul and grant you his peace."

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:15 No.9074207 >>9074197 tell him you think he is pretty strong for an eldar

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:15 No.9074213 333333 threeeee

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:15 No.9074217 >>9074207 Oh fuck. Oh jesus fuck.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:17 No.9074240 File1270783021.jpg-(24 KB, 410x364, achmeditroll.jpg) >>9074207

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:17 No.9074241 >>9074207 I lol'd. Stolen for future use.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:17 No.9074242 >>9074217 HAHAHA OH WOW

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:17 No.9074250 >>9074207 Say how he must be the equivalent of a pretty marine for the Eldar.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:17 No.9074253
File1270783050.png-(787 KB, 974x848, Sisters_of_anger2.png)

At the moment I begin writing this post, 3 and 1 are tied, so. . .

You try to rip off his gauntlets, but are reminded that he is in powered armor. You do however manage to get him to start punching himself in the head, while taunting him over and over. You insult his lineage, his parentage, his lack of manliness, and you imply that he's no better than a faggoty Pretty Marine.

On the third or fourth punch, his helmet comes off.

You realize it's a "she."

>>	Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 04/08/10(Thu)23:18 No.9074262 >>9074253 Insult -4 STR

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:18 No.9074268 >>9074253 >>9074262 -4 str

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:18 No.9074269 >>9074253 We haven't made the vow for no sex yet right!? If so then rape the face.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:18 No.9074272 >>9074253 Well, that would make anyone upset.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:18 No.9074273 >>9074253 well shit.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074276 That Alicia bitch robbed you of a familiar and your own tower office with view to the deadlands!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074282 >>9074253 No wonder we thought you were an eldar!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074284 >>9074253 Pimp slap. Only solution.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074285 >>9074253 Offer her a job. We could use an angry maid.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074289 >>9074253 Inform her that according to FATAL rules she takes -10% Str and -10% int

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074293 Masturbate.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074295 >>9074253 OH, YOU MUST BE LOST. KITCHEN'S DOWN THE HALL AND TO THE LEFT.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:19 No.9074297 >>9074253 Make her our maid!

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:20 No.9074299 >>9074253 -4 STR

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:20 No.9074301 .>>9074253 apologies to it.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:20 No.9074302 >>9074253 UNPOSSIBLE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:20 No.9074306 HAHAHA I DON'T EVEN

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:20 No.9074310 >>9074269 No. Bad. Jehanne will definitely not support that.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:21 No.9074320

>>9074284
>>9074282
>>9074276
>>9074273
>>9074268
>>9074262

"OH NO WONDER YOU PUNCH LIKE A GIRL! +4 STRENGTH, BITCH!" you scream, as you continue to slap her around. After a little while, she starts to cry.

"DAMN IT!" she wails. "It's not my fault! I didn't have a choice! There was nothing else for me to do! No one wants to work with a half-eldar!"

As she turns her short (yes this time it's gonna stay short) blue and white hair to one side, you see that she does, indeed, have pointed ears.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:21 No.9074321 -4 STR. Let's see if we can out-wrath wrath.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:21 No.9074324 ANGRY MAID. ALWAYS MAID, ALL THE TIME!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:21 No.9074329 >>9074253 "I'm just as angry as you are! We're both not happy campers! Let's be angry together!"

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:21 No.9074332 >>9074320 OFFER HER REDEMPTION AND A PLACE AT OUR MANSION AS A GUARD WITHOUT PREJUDICE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074342 >>9074332 DO THIS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074346 >>9074320 OH, NO WONDER YOU'RE SUCH A PUCHOVER, HALF-BREED FAGGOT

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074347 >>9074320 Awesome, we found an alien maid!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074350 >>9074253 Back to the kitchen -4 str etc. etc. Encourage Jehanne to catfight her!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074353 >>9074332 >>9074332 >>9074332 This!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074355 >>9074332 This. She can prove her worth by helping us fight Alicia.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074356 >>9074320 How would you like to be an angry, half-eldar maid?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074357 >>9074332 MEIDOOOOOO

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074361 >>9074320 Offer her a job at your place. Also now might be a good time to stop punching her.

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:22 No.9074362 File1270783373.gif-(73 KB, 485x213, orz.gif) >>9074329 >We're both not happy campers!

>>	Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074367 >>9074332 REDEMPTION TIME BITCH

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074368 >>9074320 Explain that nobody wants to work with a half-eldar because their wrath is mighty and terrible. Tell her you happen to have a assistant-wrath bringer position open. Reginald needs an understudy.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074369 So, wanna punch a succubus in the face? I can offer job, room, board and education.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074371 >>9074332 THIS OFFER A POSITION AS GUARD THE XENOS FILTH WILL LIKELY RETURN, SHE CAN PURGE THEM

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074373 >>9074332 RECRUIT HER!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074376 >>9074285 >>9074332 I agree with this course of action.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074379 >>9074332 >>9074342 Fuck no. If we can take her down, she clearly isn't going of be much of a guard. Inquire as to her qualifications. Stay on guard just in case.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074385 >>9074320 As it happens, we do have an opening for a bodyguard. Bodyguards always work in pairs, and she may well be a good compliment to Jehanne. Offer her employment.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:23 No.9074387 SLAP HER MORE "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING FOR?! YOU SHOULD BE FULL OF RAGE LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:24 No.9074393 >>9074324 Oh god. Kat's got nothing on that.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:24 No.9074406 >>9074320 "Your father wouldn't happen to be a Vindicare assassin by any chance?

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:24 No.9074412 I think we just beat the anger out of her. That's pretty hardcore.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:25 No.9074428 >>9074412 Yeah, we can punch ideas. It's kind of a big deal.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:25 No.9074429 >>9074385 only if they both exhibit bisexual tendencies.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:25 No.9074433 How's the paladin reacting to all this?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:26 No.9074439 >>9074412 We just out-nightmare'd a nightmare demon and out-raged a rage demon. Fuck. Yeah.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:27 No.9074465 >>9074332 Alright do this BUT KEEP SLAPPING/TAUNTING HER

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:27 No.9074467 >>9074439 So, we now procced to fuck alicia until she submits to our will?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:27 No.9074471 >>9074439 Indeed. If we can outfuck alicia when the time comes we will be king of hell.

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:28 No.9074480 >>9074467 No, We REFUSE to sleep with her, and just taunt her.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:28 No.9074482 >>9074467 Dual class monk and paladin Smite evil/Flurry of Blows.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:28 No.9074486

>>9074332
>>9074342
>>9074353
>>9074355
>>9074357
>>9074361

"WELL, IF YOU'RE SO ANGRY, WHY DON'T YOU COME WORK FOR ME!?" you scream.

"WELL, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HAVE A HALF-ELDAR FEMALE SPACE MARINE WORKING FOR YOU, THEN FINE!" she screams.

Somewhere out there, an entity sitting at a computer scratches his head. "Actually, I expected there would be more rage at the idea of a half-eldar, half vampire female space marine," he mutters, but shrugs and decides to run with it.

-----
SISTER CARMINE HOSTILITAS
Type: ANGRY/ANGRY
Level: HOSTILE

Special: FUCKING ANGRY
ALWAYS ANGRY ALL THE TIME

Weapons: FUCKING POWERED ARMOR, YOU FUCK!

Power: FUCKING ANGRY!

Roots: ANGER!

Stress X: ANGER!

Colors: FUCKING WHO FUCKING FUCK CARES!?

Athletics: 3
Affection: 0
Skill: 1
Cunning: 3
Luck: 3
Will: 1

Spirit: 10
Stress: 0

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:28 No.9074490 WE LET JEHANNE DO HER JOB. UPPING OUR RELATIONSHIP.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:29 No.9074501 We have beaten her, she must swear fealty to us!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:29 No.9074502 >>9074486 All right, let's do this! Next demon, come on!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:29 No.9074514 >>9074486 Benediction: "May the peace of the Emperor which surpasses all understanding..."

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074518 >>9074486 We aren't really big on canon. meido meido meido.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074523 >>9074486 Excellent. Now, we move on to Alicia's lair. Time to get this shit on.

Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074524

>>9074486
WELCOME TO THE TEAM, CARE TO VISIT SOMEWHERE NOT HELL-LIKE?! HELP US KILL THE BITCH. also. heres your helmet back.

offer that shit up to her calmly, with compassion in your eyes. you understand her situation. its not her fault. the sins of the father (or mother) should not pass to the child. burn 1 xp on this. make it believable

>>	Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074527 >>9074501 Pretty sure that's Orks, bro. Though, come to think of it, it seems kind of like that's how Angry Marines work out too. Go figure.

Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074530

>>9074439

Not too goddamn hard, was it? I mean, let's list the shit we've put up with-

1. Demonic washing machines.
2. A sweet, beautiful, leggy piece of ass named Samantha that we can't tap because her father's pimp hand is WAY STRONG
3. FUCKING Sectoids.
4. Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat DICK DICK OH NO IT'S A DIIIICK~
5. OTHER smoking-hot maid turned out to be a DEMON, that we don't get to fuck
6. We get to hell and meet a sweet, SMOKING HOT warrior who is now NAKED- AND she's lustful as FUCK- but we can't fuck her since it'd screw her over with her paladin organization.

WE ARE A SEETHING BALL OF HATE AND SEXUAL FRUSTRATION.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074535 >>9074486 I seems you made a mistake again DM >Level: HOSTILE Level: ANGRY Here, I ftfy

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074539 You guys realize we basically now have Morrigan and Leliana with us atm. If we don't eat the kitten, the angry marine disapproves and if we don't save the kitten, Jehanne will disapprove. Have fun balancing their relationship levels while they're with us.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:30 No.9074541 >>9074486 Kiss her on the cheek quickly. Then say, "ANGRY SEX IS SOME OF THE BEST SEX, BUT WE'LL DO THAT LATER. RIGHT NOW, LET'S GO KICK SOME ASS!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:31 No.9074544 >>9074486 FINAL BATTLE Heaven or ... well, I guess it is just Hell.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:31 No.9074551

And so, as the three of you continue into the final chamber. . . you find yourself in a darkened room. The only light comes from a single dim lantern in one corner of the room.

Alicia. . . no. . . Lady Asmoday is there, sitting on her throne of dongs and vaginas, her legs crossed, smirking at you as she strokes the hair of her familiar, Felicia, sitting in her lap. "And so you've arrived," she says softly, the darkness shrouding her naked body. "How did you like my minions?"

-----
SPECIAL EVENT GET
----
You immediately grab the light switch and start turning it on and off.

OONST OONST OONST OOSNT INTERNET RAVE PARTY!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:31 No.9074554 >>9074524 Oh, good point. Rehash the "don't be ashamed" bit we did with Jehanne. Fuck, we got morals and everything. We could turn this into a kid's TV show.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:31 No.9074561 >>9074486 Badass. Inquire as to how she came to be guarding Alicia's premises in hell. Also, what's Jehanne doing all this while?

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074568 >>9074551 you're amazing as a DM. never change. I found them quite fun. see? point to the ANGRY MARINE. now. how about a quickie?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074572 >>9074501 THIS, MAKE HER DO IT!

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074576 >>9074551 slowclap.gif

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074585 >>9074554 Also, make the fucking pact. Then asmoday will have no power over us.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074586 >>9074568 ALSO: I BEGIN TO FURIOUSLY (emphasis on Furious) MASTURBATE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:32 No.9074588 CARMINE IS POINT, JEHANNE SUPPORT. WE HAVE A DEAL BOYS, LET'S GO FOR SNEAK ATTACK BONUS

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074598

>>9074433
Jehanne seems a bit perturbed, but considering that you seemed to have the situation well in hand, she allowed you to continue. As you entered the chamber, she muttered something about, "good idea to take such an angry sarcastic woman along," but said nothing more.

She does seem fascinated by the pauldrons on SISTER CARMINE's armor, though.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074599 >>9074539 Which is why we fuck their brains out until they both agree with us completely.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074600 address felicia directly. ask her if she is happy and would rather come with us

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074608 File1270784008.jpg-(33 KB, 353x606, aw1.jpg) >>9074551 >OONST OONST OONST OOSNT INTERNET RAVE PARTY!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074613 >>9074551 I don't know. I must've missed them while I was tripping on the PUSSIES in the rooms before yours.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:33 No.9074614 >>9074551 >"How did you like my minions?" They were laughable. Pathetic. And I believe you are as well.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074621 > OONST OONST OONST OONST AWESOME. Okay, ask our compatriots to tackle that bitch and pin her down. Also tell Felicia that if she helps us out, you'll give her a hot dicking ten times better anything a lesbian can hand out via scissoring or dildo.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074631 >sitting on her throne of dongs and vaginas, That can't be comfortable. >>9074539 clearly our only option is to be a warrior of Justice!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074632 >>9074621 You forget about the power of oral sex, though.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074637 >>9074621 also apologize to felicia for zapping her earlier, you didnt want to hurt her

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074638 >>9074551 AHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wow.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074641 >>9074614 SISTER CARMINE is cool though.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:34 No.9074642 She can't hurt us right? We're already soul I mean. Everyone pulls perfect defense while we charge

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:35 No.9074652 Okay. . . we are now going into combat! ROUND 1: Surprise round: your internet rave party has completely interrupted Asmoday's speech and given you a free round! PARTY members: You CARMINE! Jehanne Enemy Alicia Asmoday Felicia WHAT DO!?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:35 No.9074655 >>9074614 I've fucked trees that had more fight in 'em. ...not that I've fucked alot of trees. ...or any for that matter. But the point stands that they are less than trees.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:35 No.9074661 I PULL THE .22 OUT OF MY ASS AND UNLOAD AT ALICIA. WE SAVED THE ASS-CANNON FOR THE FINAL BOSS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:35 No.9074665 >>9074598 Ah, we'll have to see about getting some armor for Jehanne.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074668 CHALLENGE HER TO A BREAKDANCE FIGHT!

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074669 >>9074652 CONVINCE Felicia.

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074677 Status update: You - Use TAUNT Carmine - Use TACKLE on Alicia Jehanne - Use SWORD STRIKE on Alicia Confirm? Y/N

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074679 >>9074669 I am also opting for CONVINCE.

>>	Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074687 >>9074655 well thats simple YELL CHARGE!! and also CHARGE!!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074688 >>9074661 THIS ALSO, DO WE STILL HAVE THE DEATH RAY OR WAS THAT LEFT BEHIND?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074689 >>9074652 Have Carmine pin Felicia, have Asmoday to stand still, have Jehanne attack.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:36 No.9074690 >>9074661 The hero always kills the final boss with a weapon pulled out of his ass! Always!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074699 >>9074652 SHOOT HER IN THE CUNT!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074702 >>9074551 Jehanne on light switch duty. We flank her sides with Carmine and party boy Asmodeia into submission.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074703 >>9074677 Sounds pretty good.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074704 >>9074677 dont hurt felicia

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074707 Status update: You - Use ASSPULL to get .22 from ass Carmine - Use TACKLE on Felicia Jehanne - Use SWORD STRIKE on Alicia Confirm? Y/N

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074708 >>9074677 Ok

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074709 >>9074652 Carmine, tackle that bitch! Jehanna, SWORD that bitch! Us- offer Felica HOT DICKINGS.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074710 >>9074608 http://www.kongregate.com/games/jmtb02/elephant-rave

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074713 >>9074689 *Order Asmoday to stand still. If she is still in our employ and still under contract, as a lawful hellbitch, she'll have to obey!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074714 EVERYONE CHARGE AT FULL FORCE THE HATRED WILL POWER OUR BLOWS!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074716 Familiars obey their masters I bet armour will do nice. CARMINE on Felicia. we go with Jehanne and take her down since we have a no soul-taking deal.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:37 No.9074717 >>9074707 CONFIRMED

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:38 No.9074730 File1270784302.jpg-(43 KB, 353x606, oonst.jpg) >>9074608

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:38 No.9074732 >>9074677 Change Taunt to Convince, and offer to let Felicia "suck the milk out of your mighty throbbing manliness" if she sides with you.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:38 No.9074734 >>9074707 CONFIRMED

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:38 No.9074737 >>9074707 Let's do this!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:38 No.9074738 >>9074652 Take out that Asmoday with your Ass cannon. Use smokes to cover your advance.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:39 No.9074751 CARMINE USES RAGEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:39 No.9074753 >>9074707 Sounds good. Y

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:40 No.9074764 >>9074732 Maybe this next turn. ...But... classier, somehow.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:40 No.9074774 >>9074707 Let's just do this. Not take too much time C/D

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:40 No.9074778

>>9074717
You reach up, deep between your asscheeks, to your tactical COMBAT COLON holster, and pull out your .22 caliber!

CARMINE! uses TACKLE on Felicia!
> 24
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

Jehane uses SWORD STRIKE on Alicia!
> 24
CRITICAL STRIKE!

-----
Status:

You
CARMINE!
Jehanne

Alicia: 176/200 HP
Felicia: 76/100 HP

WHAT DO!?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:41 No.9074786 So the plans are kill Alicia and bind Felicia to us?

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:41 No.9074792 Unload at Alicia obviously. also use the anal expansion from drawing the weapon to let our spare ammo fall out

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:41 No.9074794 >>9074786 We need to get them both to HP CRITICAL to hit the chat trigger.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:41 No.9074798 no the plan is to FUCK THEM INTO SUBMISSION

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074804 Support Jehanne, using our deal-protected soul as cover

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074808 >>9074778 Order Asmoday to stand still and allow Jehanne to hit her. Have carmine pin felicia, we can save the kitty after.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074813 >>9074778 Drop her to ~10% health, and then use EPIC SEDUCTION CHECK to have her come back as your maid.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074814 >>9074778 Caramine continues to SUBDUE Felica! Jehanna and you UNLEASH THE FURY OF RIGHTEOUS JUSTICE UPON THE UNBELIEVER

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074823 >>9074794 Right. Because even if they're terrible demons that imprisoned us in hell, they are STILL OUR MAIDS, so we need to take care of them and understand their feelings and make things work out okay for them. Good End, bitches. Even to the absurd.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074824 >>9074813 can't. with Jehanne and Carmine we maxed out our maid limit for now

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:42 No.9074825 SHOOT ALICIA CLEAVE ALICIA SUBDUE FELICIA DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY MONOLOGUES OR TAUNTS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074828 >>9074778 Point toward Felicia, and gyrate your hips in as hypnotic a way as possible. Also, say, "Tonight, you!"

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074830 Status: You - Double Action! Use WILD SHOOTING on Alicia and RELOAD on Ass. CARMINE! - use SUBDUE on Felicia Jehanne - use SWORD STRIKE on Alicia CONFIRM? Y/N

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074834 Their still on our staff list

>>	Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074835 >>9074823 THIS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074837 >>9074786 >>9074786 Damn straight, Felica is a catgirl, she's quite open to sex for sex's sake, so that's one maidsexan down with no coercion of nice ladies.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074841 >>9074830 CONFIRMED.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:43 No.9074842 FIRE alicia!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074846 >>9074830 Hold fire, try to use contractual obidience on Alicia first.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074847 >>9074824 Eh, I think Alicia and Felicia are more in-genre than Jehanne and Carmine, so I'd prefer to switch back to the Classic Loadout on the way back in. They've got their own adventures to have!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074852 Demand Alicia to stand still doing absolutely nothing and take it like the bitch she is. While we fire upon her.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074860 >>9074830 go

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074861 >>9074830 Let's do it

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:44 No.9074862 >>9074830 As long as we don't hit Jehanna with our WILD SHOOTING on Alicia, I agree.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:45 No.9074866 Fire! One bullet can't take a succubus down, and Jehanne needs support since she is... you all know.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:45 No.9074870 File1270784709.jpg-(170 KB, 666x499, 1252464730087.jpg) >>9074830 CONFIRMED DAMN THE PLOT, FULL SPEED AHEAD

Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)23:45 No.9074872

>>9074830
What, exactly, do you propose that we reload our ass with?

This seems to be quickly entering territory that I don't think we want to be entering at the moment.

I propose that the wild shooting be wild by virtue of it being done while charging at Alicia, rather than simple carelessness.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:45 No.9074882 Weaver stand?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:46 No.9074898 Well, current plan is to subdue felicia, and make asmoday get shot and/or stabbed.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:46 No.9074900 >>9074824 Can we use some of our EXP to increase our maid limit?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:47 No.9074904 >>9074898 stab her with bullets

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:47 No.9074906 >>9074882 FUCK NO, CENTER AXIS RELOCK

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:47 No.9074917 >>9074847 Alicia has lost rank as maid when she assaulted us, she becomes our ETERNAL slave or she dies. Her choice.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:48 No.9074925

>>9074841
You use RAPID FIRE on Alicia!
> 4 vs 4 - MISS
> 10 vs 4 - MISS
> 6 vs 20 - MISS
> 12 vs 20 - MISS
> 12 vs 8 HIT! 4 DAMAGE
> 6 vs 8 - MISS

Your gunshots go wild, but you manage to score one hit on Alicia, scoring her face!

CARMINE! uses SUBDUE!
> 12 vs 9
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

JEHANNE uses SWORD STRIKE!
> 12 vs 8
HIT! 4 DAMAGE

-----
ALICIA uses SHAME on Jehanne! She taunts Jehanne for being naked and makes her feel bad about herself, calling her a filthy whore and licking her lips seductively!
> 4
But it wasn't very effective. . .

Felicia attempts to use DISENGAGE!
> 9 vs 20
Felicia hurt herself by accident!

-----
-----
Status:

You
CARMINE!
Jehanne 4/10 Stress

Alicia: 172/200 HP
Felicia: 61/100 HP

WHAT DO!?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074939 >>9074925 RULES LAWYER HER INTO SUBMISSION. SHE SIGNED A BINDING CONTRACT TO BE OUR MAID DAMN IT, AND WE'LL HOLD HER TO THAT.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074943 >>9074925 Should have two hits.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074946 >>9074925 Try issuing orders as her master. Got nothing to lose.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074947 >>9074939 RIGHT, WHICH MEANS THIS WHOLE THING IS ADMITTEDLY KIND OF SILLY. WE SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR THE LIGHT FOOLERY WAY BACK WHEN AND SHRUG A LITTLE.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074952 Bolster Jehanne using our words. MORALE BONUS! the succubi is just jealous and trying to turn her from her Given PATH. Also. Can we burn XP and increase accuracy for firing at Alicia. if so, do that. otherwise. FIRE AGAIN

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074953 >>9074925 Offer words of encouragement to lower that stress meter. We're clearly not doing much on offense, so we might as well play team cleric!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074956 >>9074925 "Don't listen to her Jehanne! She's just jealous of you!"

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:49 No.9074958 Use some XP and inspire Jehanne to go alll D'Arc on evil's face!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074960 >>9074925 use pokeball on felica use citrus berry on jehanne

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074961 >>9074925 6 vs 20? Shit nigga that's a critical miss if ever I saw one.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074964 am i the only one who thinks having a devil who has already killed us once is a bad thing? ...the cat girl on the other hand...

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074973 >>9074925 Contimue w/ Attack. Encourage Jehanne with stuff about how a whore/slut wouldn't be kicking this much ass in hell.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074975 >>9074925 Enforce our status as head of the house she is employed at. Make the bitch stand for a good headshot.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074983 >>9074847 Yes. Though I would like to keep Jehanne, if possible. Try to use contractual obligations on Alicia.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:50 No.9074984 BREAK FELICIA'S JOINTS TO INCAPACITATE HER, THEY WILL HEAL LATER HAVE CARMINE ATTACK ALICIA AFTERWARDS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9074988 >>9074964 maid RPG is kind of all about bad ideas, bro

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9074993 Try to stop the fight without anyone getting hurt! Use Alicia's lawful nature against her!

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9074998 You - use RULES LAWYER on Alicia CARMINE! - use SUBDUE on Felicia Jehanne - use HOLY BOLSTERING STRIKE on Alicia (2 XP, total 31) CONFIRM? Y/N

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9075000 >>9074925 Issue orders to Alicia to stop fighting. When she stops to explain why we can't tell her what to do anymore, Jehanne has a clean shot at her with her Holy Whoopass Sword.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9075002 >>9074925 >10 vs 4 - MISS Why was that shot a miss?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9075003 Try issuing orders since Alicia is contractually bound to us.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:51 No.9075006 >>9074984 Incapacitated joints will render her incapable of fucking as well. We must maintain this ability of hers.

>>	Subroutine: Balancesheet 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075016 Order serfs to craft warm clothes for wint... wait a sec, wrong game. :P

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075019 >>9074998 Yep

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075021 Cleave and Smite! Cleave and smite all evil! er, Cleave and Shoot! Cleave and Shoot all evil!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075022 >>9074998 Confirm, also I believe we are now auto-saging.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075026 >>9074998 Sure, confirmed!

Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075029

>>9074925

DOUBLE ACTION: SUPPORT

Jehanne- YOU'RE NAKED IN THE STRONGHOLD OF A LUST DEMON AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYBODY SILLY YET YOU'RE A BIGGER PRUDE THEN NANCY PELOSI AS A NUN

Carmine: WHO'S THE BIGGER PUSSY THE HALF-ELDAR OR THE CATGIRL, SHOW THAT BITCH WHAT WRATH IS

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:52 No.9075031 >>9074998 Confirm. DEATH TO OUR FOES! MAID DUTY FOR OUR ALLIES!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:53 No.9075032 >>9074998 Confirmed.

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:53 No.9075041 >>9074998 >>9075029 CONFIRMED

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:53 No.9075046 >>9075022 Yeah, we saging.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:54 No.9075059 CONFIRM

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:54 No.9075063 >>9075002 No idea, maybe we had to penetrate her armour first?

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:54 No.9075067 Confirm

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:55 No.9075089 CONFIRMED SHE IS HUGE THAT MEANS SHE HAS HUGE EVIL CLEAVE AND SMITE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:55 No.9075096 >>9075089 IT HAD TO BE SAID

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:56 No.9075100 File1270785366.jpg-(83 KB, 500x380, 1268680969653.jpg) >>9075089

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:56 No.9075102 >>9074998 Confirmed.

Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)23:56 No.9075120

>>9075002
Sorry, that was actually 16, not six.

-----
You use Rules Lawyer on Alicia! You remind her she is technically still in your employ, and order her to stand still! Alicia can't defend!

CARMINE uses SUBDUE on Felicia. . .
> 4 vs 12
She failed!

Jehanne uses HOLY BOLSTERING STRIKE on Alicia!
> 30
It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

----
Alicia couldn't act! But she did manage to say, "THEN I QUIT!"

Alicia broke RULES LAWYERING's bond on her!

Felicia used ESCAPE
> 15 vs 3
It was successful! Felicia escaped!
-----
-----
Status:

You
CARMINE!
Jehanne 4/10 Stress

Alicia: 142/200 HP
Felicia: 61/100 HP

WHAT DO!?

CONFIRM? Y/N

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:57 No.9075133 >>9075120 New thread

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:57 No.9075140 SHE NEVER SIGNED THE PAPERS TO QUIT, WE STILL EMPLOY HER UNTIL SHE DOES

Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075146

>>9075120
DOUBLE ACTION: SUPPORT

Jehanne- YOU'RE NAKED IN THE STRONGHOLD OF A LUST DEMON AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYBODY SILLY YET YOU'RE A BIGGER PRUDE THEN NANCY PELOSI AS A NUN

Carmine: WHO'S THE BIGGER PUSSY THE HALF-ELDAR OR THE CATGIRL, SHOW THAT BITCH WHAT WRATH IS

Carmine- PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KITTY

Jehanne- SMITE

>>	Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075147 >>9075120 we're autosaging cap't. Support on Carmine and Jehanne! Lower Stress, Increase Rage. otherwise just fucking attack!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075151 >>9075120 Words of encouragement; team cleric. Also, we're autosaging.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075152 >>9075120 Order Felicia to lie down for a belly rub. Have Carmine and Jehanne flank Asmoday and RIP AND TEAR.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075154 >>9075120 Call for an Exterminatus!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075156 Carmine on Felicia Support Jehanne with .22 to break Alicia's defense, she can get a strike bonus!

Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075157

>>9075029
DOUBLE ACTION: SUPPORT

Jehanne- YOU'RE NAKED IN THE STRONGHOLD OF A LUST DEMON AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYBODY SILLY YET YOU'RE A BIGGER PRUDE THEN NANCY PELOSI AS A NUN

Carmine: WHO'S THE BIGGER PUSSY THE HALF-ELDAR OR THE CATGIRL, SHOW THAT BITCH WHAT WRATH IS

Confirman.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075160 just keep felicia from running away

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:58 No.9075165 >>9075120 Carmine subdues felicia. jehanne and us double-team Alicia.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:59 No.9075173 >>9075152 OH SHIT Felica didn't say SHE quit, did she? Change that SUPPORT action to a RULES LAYWERING action on Felica!

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:59 No.9075184 >>9075140 THIS. THERE'S A FORMAL PROCESS DAMN IT, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:59 No.9075189 >>9075173 Felicia would likely fail to understand.

>>	Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)23:59 No.9075196 >>9075140 Two weeks notice, bitch! Mwahaha!

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:00 No.9075199 >>9075152 This. :3

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:00 No.9075210 >>9075140 >>9075146 THIS AND THIS Until she legally releases herself, she's still in our employment. Suck on that!

>>	Goshujin-Sama 04/09/10(Fri)00:00 No.9075215 >>9075194 New thread :)

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:01 No.9075231 >>9075146 This.

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:01 No.9075236 >>9075210 incidentally sucking on that would be the proper way for her to release herself from her employment

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:01 No.9075240 >>9075196 Actually, two weeks' notice is considerate rather than required. A person can quit at any time, but there are penalties for breaking a contract.

>>	Anonymous 04/09/10(Fri)00:03 No.9075305 Naturally, being the pervert that we are, we added a clause that states that anyone who breaks contract becomes a sex slave for one week.

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