rolled 40 = 40

>>15593949

Mightily brofist Khârn which the Sindri arm (hopefully hurting him while doing so), tell him to not kill the sorcerers (for now) because you currently still needs these faggots.

Also, tell him of your TIME CRUSADE and how he could battle himself if he'd join.

>>15593949

See >>15593906

rolled 15 = 15

>>15593949
Brofist him, like a boss. Then tell him about the TIME CRUSADE.

(Also, Abaddon is planning a Time Travel Black Crusade with Ahriman and is dragging the other champions along with him. Right now he has robot arms, one of which is possessed by Sindri's daemonic soul that he physically tore out of the warp, and earlier raped a trio of daemonettes)

rolled 82 = 82

>>15593949
THEN COME WITH ME BACK IN TIME! AND YOU - point at random cultist lurking about - GET ME ANOTHER SORCERER, I NEED TO MAKE A CALL!

Then ring up Doomrider.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15593977
yup, 99

rolled 44 = 44

>>15593949
>"DON'T WORRY ABADDON!" Kharn shouts "I'LL SAVE YOU!"
What a bro.

>>15593962
DO THIS, IT'S PERFECT

rolled 19 = 19

>>15593962
this!

>>15593977
Probably doesn't count anymore since the new thread was in the making.

Then again, a SECOND blessing of Khorne can't be that bad.

rolled 4 = 4

Am I the only one suspecting that this Black Crusade will just end in a big, chaos-champion pizza party?

rolled 67 = 67

Brofist Kharn.
But tell him you killed his phone, tell him to go down and ask for Eliphas, Eliphas will give him cultists to kill.

Now, you still have an army of Jokaero to rally, Doombreed and Doomride to call, ask Angron if he wants to come and revive Araghast to be your second in command and piss Eliphas off.

rolled 15 = 15

BROFIST KHARN, HAVE A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT OLD TIMES, MAYBE SOME BEER, AND INVITE HIM ON THE TIME TRAVEL CRUSADE.


THEN RING UP...... NANANANAANANNAANNANANANANANANANANANA-DOOMRIDEEEEEEERRRRRR

>>15593997
Khorne's sacred number is 8, 9 is for Tzeentch

>>15594010
Well it is refered to as a picnic already...

>>15593977
You give Kharn a typical space marine brofists which he accepts proudly. Sindri silently screams "Ow!" as the fists bump.

You tell him about how you need the sorcerers the contact the champions and ask him if he wants to join the Black Crusade.

"BUT ABADDON, KHORNE TOLD ME THAT SLAANESH AND TZEENTCH HAD THEIR INFLUENCE ALL OVER YOUR SHIP SO I RUSHED OVER TO SAVE YOU FROM THOSE FAGGOTS." he says

>>15594019

Makes sense, saving his sorcerors from Kharn and anything.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15594030
YOU CAN ONLY SAVE ME BY BEING AS KHORNY AS POSSIBLE AND YOU CAN DO THAT BY TRAVELLING BACK IN TIME AND KILLING A BUNCH OF LOYALIST FAGGOTS.

Seriously, what's not to love?

rolled 100 = 100

>>15594030
gathering a party, man! Gonna travel back in time and blow up shit that hasn't existed for centuries! Why dontcha come with me to make sure these bastards dont stab me in da back bro?

rolled 89 = 89

>>15594053

rolled 14 = 14

>>15594030
He has a point, we don't have enough Khorne in here.

SUMMON BLOODLETTERS

LOTS OF THEM

rolled 73 = 73

>>15594063

Welp, thats decided

rolled 42 = 42

>>15594030

Give him an additional manhug and explain him that you've got a bet going on with Tzeentch:
If you should fail to kick the Imperiums ass doing your Time Crusade, you and all followers of Chaos Undivided will have to follow Tzeentch exclusively.

Thus, you ask Kharn for his help to escape this horrible fate.

>>15594063
LIKE A BOSS.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15594063
Might as well roll to see if there can be chaotic shenanigans added, because this roll won.

>>15594063
"ALRIGHT MAN, SOUNDS GOOD!" Kharn brofists you once more, yet again hurting Sindri.

Suddenly you are contacted over the vox by one of the ship's mortals. He tells you that Ahriman's vessel is nearby, and that Lucius' ships are soon to arrive.

What now?

rolled 6 = 6

>>15594116
GET DOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM RIIIIIIDDDDDEEEERRRRRR on the horn, ask him to join you for the lolz

rolled 86 = 86

>>15594116

TIME IS SHORT! COMMAND YOUR SORCERERS TO ENACT A RITUAL TO REVIVE ARAGHAST! ANOTHER TO CONTACT DOOMBREED AND DOOMRIDER!

Call Eliphas and command him to get you a bunch of Jokaeros, and tell Kharn to get Angron up all on this bitch

rolled 41 = 41

>>15594116

Tell both of them to keep a good distance, so they don't make Khârn rage.

Ask your sorcerers to built up contact with Ahriman and ask him how far back or forward you can travel in time.

Also ask where the fuck Typhoon and his pest are.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15594116
Proceed to the Ahriman ship. Let's get this Crusade started.

rolled 56 = 56

>>15594116
Permission to Ahriman to start Timetwista.

>>15594139
This

>>15594139
Wasn't Araghast, like.. dead?

rolled 59 = 59

>>15594223
CONTACT HIS PAST VERSION!

>>15594143
This but with added Jokaero's, ask the master of the ships armory if he still has those sets of Jokaero armor from that time you fought that joker of an inquisitor who showed up with an army of Jokaero's.

>>15594139
You order to sorcerers to make contacts with the daemon princes Doombreed and Doomrider, and to revive Araghast. You then contact Eliphas over the vox and tell him to drop his shit and get some Jokaero.

He turn to Kharn and ask him to contact Angron, but he shakes his head. "SORRY, BUT ME AND DAD HAVEN'T REALLY TALKED EVER SINCE, YOU KNOW, I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE OUR LEGION APART."

One of the sorcerers walks over to you. "Um, lord...how do you expect a handful of us to contact TWO daemon princes AND revive a slain chaos lord?"

rolled 96 = 96

>>15594247
WHAT IS THIS? INSUBORDINATION?!?!?!? perhaps i should find more capable subjects...

rolled 31 = 31

>>15594247

BITCH I DIDN'T HIRE YOU FOR ME TO DO THE THINKING FOR YOU! If you don't know how ask Ahriman and ask him, chaos! can't you do anything for yourself?

rolled 100 = 100

>>15594247

BY NOT BEING SUCH PUSSIES, FAGGOT

GET TO IT

rolled 10 = 10

>>15594298

rolled 8 = 8

>>15594247

Do the necesarry rituals yourself, by sucking the remaining sorcerors dry of power and also take a good portion of Sindris remaining power.

If this should, for any given reason not work, try to tap into the powers of the Warp - hell, you still are in the damn eye of terror.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15594298
Abbaddon used COMMISSARIAL MOTIVATION
It's Super Effective!

>>15594298
You tell the sorcerer to man the fuck up. He nods and gets back to his summonings.

As the sorcerers get to work, you are informed via vox that Typhus' ships will soon be nearing the area.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15594352

Good, call Eliphas through the vox channel and tell him to hurry the fuck up with gathering the Jokaero unless he wants his soul fucked.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15594352
Find something to cover your nose with, because he stinks.

>>15594352
Order the mortals who will be creating the banner of this crusade through time to subtly paint Cerberus at the top of the banner. Typhus must know his place.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15594352

Contact Ahriman and ask him how far you actually can travel back or forward in time

rolled 31 = 31

>>15594393

A thousand times this. Call Eliphas and tell him to get on with that too, that bastard better be able to multitask!

>>15594247
Dice1d100
Remember that shard of Horus' Armor? Give it to the sorcerors and see if they can't use that to summon the daemon princes or revive Araghast.
If they break it or lose it, let Kharn go nuts.

>>15594421
Dammit, let's try that again
dice1d100

>>15594430
SONOVABITCH
Dice+1d100

>>15594442
Email field.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15594421
>>15594430
>>15594442

It goes in the E-mail field you ass cunt, and it's dice+1d100

Tell Typhus to go fuck himself. Then have your Sorcerers call up Calgar and ask him out on date.

>>15594442
It goes in the e-mail field.

>>15594380
You contact Eliphas through the vox and ask for the status on the Jokaero. He informs you that he has sent his serfs and slaves the gather them from a nearby subsector and it will take time.

Suddenly, a flaming rip in warp appears within the chamber and a daemon prince riding upon a motorcycle appears.

"WHAZZUP ABADDON MY BUDDY?!" Doomrider shouts, cocaine covering his face "I HEAR YOU'RE GETTING EVERYONE TOGETHER FOR A BITCHING PARTY!"

rolled 16 = 16

>>15594459
Dammit, missed the roll.

Do a face-turn and tell Typhus to take a bath. Then have your Sorcerers call up Calgar and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match and maybe dinner n a movie.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15594459
go back to bed, ward

rolled 98 = 98

>>15594471
Hell yeah man! I'm rounding up everyone, we're gonna go back in time, and we're going to FUCK. UP. TANITH. You in man?!

rolled 69 = 69

>>15594471
Announce your fiendish plan- to go back to throw a birthday bash for Commissar Gaunt, the greatest thorn in Chaos's side!

rolled 18 = 18

>>15594471
Give Doomrider a welcome handjob, courtesy of the Sindri arm.

rolled 71 = 71

Remember that shard of Horus' Armor? Give it to the sorcerors and see if they can't use that to summon the daemon princes or revive Araghast.
If they break it or lose it, let Kharn go nuts.
(thanks, I feel really retarded now)

rolled 84 = 84

WE MUST REPENT

Turn your back on the dark gods, regain the Emperor's blessing and forgiveness!

>>15594471
"Sup doomrider, you got a spare line or 100?"

rolled 36 = 36

>>15594471
Lick Doomrider's hair, which is made of cocaine. Then caress him softly.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15594529
Derp, heres my roll.

rolled 42 = 42

Now that we have all the champions here, DESTROY THEM, so that the rest of the Chaos fuckers will stop comparing you to them.

>>15594500
Doomrider reaches into his codpiece and pulls out a needle, filled with what looks like liquefied cocaine. He jabs it into his head and injects on the spot.

"FUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!! COUNT ME SO FUCKING IN MAN! I'M GONNA RAPE ME SOME FINE TANITH BITCHES!"

Meanwhile, one of the sorcerers has dropped onto the ground, dead. It appears that something shoved a flaming axe into his skull.

rolled 96 = 96

Summon the most powerful Daemon you can think of. Doombreed, Aun'kai'res or however you spell it, Anggrath, or whatever.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15594471
Start an orgy. Champions only.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15594524
WHAT???? NO THE DICE GODS DO NOT FAVOUR THE MINIONS OF CHAOS TODAY!!!!!!!

rolled 100 = 100

>>15594550
Accept your loss and move on

rolled 56 = 56

>>15594550
Begin to PARTY HARD

rolled 63 = 63

>>15594580
Ask your bionic arm which daemon he would like to bring along with him.

>>15594580
You shrug it off. Shit happens, you've already got an awesome daemon prince.

One of the sorcerers approaches you. "My lord, we've managed to locate Araghast's soul within the warp. However, we cannot contact or summon it forth."

rolled 96 = 96

>>15594619
PUNCH THE WARP

rolled 45 = 45

>>15594619
BULLSHIT sacrifice a bucket of jokaero.

rolled 3 = 3

Cut a hole in the warp with Drach'yen and pull his soul out of the Basilica of Torments.

>>15594624

Oh brother, here we go again.

ABADDON: WARP PUNCHER

rolled 1 = 1

>>15594619
Kill the sorcerer for being lazy.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15594624
This.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15594624
Punch your sorcerer, and through him: the warp.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15594624
Seconded. Make sure we use the fist with Sindri in it.

>>15594624
You tell the sorcerer to form a tear in the warp. Soon the essence of the immaterium lies before you once more.

You raise your possessed arm and punch it into the tear. Sindri screams as he is suddenly pushed into another plane of existence. He lets outs a sudden burst of psychic energy, causing the rip in the warp to expand. Some daemon essence and goopy stuff leak out from the rip.

>>15594672

o fuck

rolled 81 = 81

Drink Daemon Essence.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15594672

KHORNE WILLS IT

rolled 98 = 98

>>15594687
Fondle about until you grab something that feels Daemon Prince-y

rolled 12 = 12

>>15594687

FISTFUCK THE HOLE WITH SINDRI.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15594703
Araghast isn't a Daemon Prince!

Nah, not a DAEMON PRINCE, we're looking for an IMMORTAL BADASS SOUL. We can bind it into our OTHER ARM. And have TWO ARM SOULS.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15594700
DRINK

I must be missing something here but what the fuck did Sindri do to deserve being fistfucked through the warp?

>>15594311
>>15594672
>>15594701
Seems like Khorne has taken over sponsorship of this part of the quest.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15594701

DOUBLE WILLS IT!

rolled 26 = 26

>>15594721
Next is Nurgle. Then Slaanesh. Then in Abaddon Quest Part 5 everyone will roll 11 as Malice laughs.

>>15594646
Looks like Doomrider just left, guys.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15594672
>>15594701
OP, he just rolled 88 twice! come on!

rolled 85 = 85

>>15594687
Errrr, just how stable is this? As awesome as punching the warp is, I fear that this may end with the greatest champions of chaos dragged into the endless roiling nothingness that is the warp.

Which, for all we know, might be "just as planned" for Tzeentch to get the assholes and egos of Chaos out so that shit can get done in the materium.

>>15594717

If we roll high enough, we can just bind the prince to the arm.

>>15594703
You're arm remains within the warp as you wave it around hoping to grab a daemon prince or something like it.

After a few minutes of Sindri moaning, you manage to grab onto something strong. It tries to pull you in!

rolled 77 = 77

>>15594767
HEADBUTT IT

rolled 72 = 72

>>15594767
Pull harder, hoping it is Doombreed or someone awesome instead of some Slaaneshi pansy who became a Daemon Prince for starting a cult that destroyed entire worlds rather than doing it with his bare hands.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15594767

FUCK THAT NOISE.

PULL RIGHT THE FUCK BACK.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15594767
Cry out, "EMPEROR GIVE ME STRENGTH" and pull back.

>>15594777

omfg

rolled 14 = 14

>>15594767

YARN THAT FUCKER IN! ONE MORE BITCH FOR THE COLLECTION!

rolled 21 = 21

>>15594777
dubble dubs

>>15594777
>77
AW YEAH! Nurgle up in this bitch!

rolled 21 = 21

>>15594767
Pull back even harder, use both arms if need be

btw this quest should be called Abbadon's New Arms.

rolled 96 = 96

Hang on, since when did Abbaddon have arms?

>>15594777

rolled 2 = 2

>>15594789
Clearly ultrablessed by Nurgle.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15594785

Fuck you, you cnut.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15594794
He got robot ones. One of which contains SINDRIIIIIIIIII!

>>15594777
>>15594777
>>15594777
Obvious traitor post is obvious.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15594767
Punch it with Sindri. Also, say to Sindri that you'll pay him back later and sorry for all these shenanigans.

Whilst punching the thing, Shout and say, "Arghast, I know that's you! Come here man!"

rolled 22 = 22

>>15594794
>We got new ones at the beginning of this quest.

PULL THAT DAEMON OUT OR WE WILL GO IN THERE AND TOSS HIM OUT

>>15594794
since a tech-marine gave him bionic ones

>>15594777
You decided to put your head in through the rip. You see the immaterium before your own eyes, terrible and beautiful. The daemon grasped in your arm spots you and unleashes a psychic blast.

However, it appears Nurgle has blessed you for your action. You take the psychic blast and shrug it off, the Plague God's toughness making it feel like a splash of water.

You lean towards the daemon and headbutt it, causing it to yell out it pain.

This thread is the total opposite of /tg/ dice.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15594845
Get a good look at the Daemon, try to identify it.

rolled 98 = 98

>>15594845
CHOKE IT WITH SINDRI, THEN USE THE OTHER ARM TO GRAB IT BY ITS FUCKING NOSE AND PULL IT OUT
Abaddon will not be denied.

>>15594845
Whoops forgot my code.

rolled 69 = 69

Fuck this, get Kharn to deal with it.

>>15594863
Using your possessed arm you grab the daemon by the neck hard, choking it slightly. You reach over to grab what appears to be it's nostrils when it smashes you with it's massive hand. You loose your grip with Sindri and the daemon roars at you.

What now?

rolled 91 = 91

>>15594905
FUCK

BAIL

GET BACK TO THE SHIP GET OUT OF THE WARP RUNNNN

rolled 96 = 96

>>15594905
Kick it in the groin.

rolled 56 = 56

>>15594905

FUCK THIS BITCH! SLAP HIS ASS DOWN AND TEAbaG HIM TILL' HE GIVES UP!

rolled 64 = 64

>>15594905

BRING IT TO HEEL BY ROARING BACK

rolled 65 = 65

>>15594905
Grab its head again with Sindri, then take off your codpiece. If the daemon won't come kindly, then he's gonna have a skull-fucking.
Stick your dick in the Warp.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15594917

The Gods have spoken.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15594905
Rape its brain with your brain.

>>15594905
Roar right back and break its ears. You might need Slaanesh's blessings to help you here.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15594905
FUCK THAT SHIT, IT'S GETTING OUT HERE IF IT LIKES IT OR NOT! SMASH THAT FUCKER IN THE FACE SOME MORE, BITCHES KNOW THAT WARP SPAWN ARE LIKE POKEMON, GOTTA WEAR 'EM DOWN

rolled 19 = 19

Kharn! Grab my bald!

rolled 86 = 86

Fuck we need to rename Abaddon "Abaddass"

>>15594917
Not willing to let the daemon have the opportunity to strike back again or flee, you throw your leg out into the warp and at the daemon (at this point you only have one leg in the materium).

You swing your leg wildly and manage to kick the daemon, hitting it in a "vulnerable area". It screams in agony.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15594926
This

rolled 23 = 23

>>15594979
Pull it's head out and skull-fuck it until we break it.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15594979
Break his spine over your knee, while demanding supplication.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15594979

Heave ho! Beach that mother-fucker like a white whale!

rolled 13 = 13

>fine fine, no skull fucking.

Stick your fist in it's mouth and pull it out by the tonsils.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15594979
Your arms fall off.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15594979
"KHARN! STOP FUCKING UP MY VOIP AND FUCKING HELP ME!"

Todya, we go draigo on this motherfucker.

PISTOL WHIP IT LIKE IT SAID SHENANIGANS.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15594979
Bitch-slap it a few times before saying "NOW TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK I CAN FIND ARAGHAST THE PILLAGER!"

Dice+1d100
>>15594996
This

rolled 63 = 63

>>15594979
Bite it. Hard.

rolled 60 = 60

Throw it out into the Materium.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15594999
Whoops forgot my roll.

Todya, we go draigo on this motherfucker.

PISTOL WHIP IT LIKE IT SAID SHENANIGANS. "I will beat your ass, or your face because you're so fucking ugly I can't tell the difference, until I get Araghast the Pillager brought back to life and back through this warp rift."

rolled 72 = 72

>>15594979
Pull the deamon out of the warp and infuse it with your other arm.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15594979

Suplex it into the materium.

rolled 4 = 4

RIP OFF IT'S ARMS

rolled 50 = 50

>>15594979
Be a man and set it on fire with your mind.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15595012
this

rolled 55 = 55

>>15595008
email field bro
>>15594979
suplex that motherfuck out of the warp

rolled 53 = 53

Eat it's eyes!

rolled 69 = 69

Drag it out and kick it a few times.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15594979
Rip its head and his dick out, then switch them around

rolled 22 = 22

>>15594979
Lick it.

>>15595020
You pull yourself back into the materium, and drag the daemon out with your mighty arms.

Once it's out of the warp you order the remaining sorcerers to infuse it with your other arm. The sorcerers attempt to bind it, but the daemon still has strength and is flailing around violently.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHO ARE YOU?!" it shouts

rolled 96 = 96

>>15595089
"I am Abaddon, bearer of the Mark of Chaos Ascendant, greatest mortal champion of Chaos Undivided!"

>>15595089

"YOUR END, MOTHAFUCKA!" Then you bind that bitch to your arm for a complete set.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15595101
Slap it in the face.

"Say please."

rolled 38 = 38

>>15595108

Forgot dice roll.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15594979

Crush its fucking skull and drag it back here. The left arm needs a soul.

>>15595101
"It's time to fistfuck, Sindri."
We use the arm.

rolled 39 = 39

>>15595101
Mark your territory so everyone knows he is your bitch now. And do so by pissing on that ungrateful fuck.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15595101
i am soon going to be your lord and master for your mighty spirit shall be consumed by my left arm so that you may better serve the gods of chaos

rolled 21 = 21

>>15595130
THIS. FUCKING THIS

>>15595130
Duh, I cannot into roll.

"It's time to fistfuck, Sindri."
We use the arm.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15595101
Give it Kharn as a new pet.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15595130

This is good.

rolled 63 = 63

Rip it's arm off and replace your unpossessed arm with it

>>15595103
The daemon scoffs at your boasting "HA! YOU MAY BE A MIGHTY MORTAL CHAMPION, BUT YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A 10,000 YEAR OLD DAEMON SUCH AS I!" he shouts

rolled 67 = 67

>>15595101
Space it. Then bring it back inside.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15595130

THIRDED

rolled 38 = 38

>>15595130
>we use the arm

Is this going to become a new catch frase?

rolled 49 = 49

>>15595176

Fucking stomp its face in, then and there. No one gets away with that shit.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15595176
"I too am ten thousand years old! Back during the Horus Heresy, I was the greatest lieutenant of the Arch-Traitor himself"!

rolled 87 = 87

>>15595176
slap his shit

rolled 80 = 80

>>15595176

Call over to Doomrider.

"IT'S SPITROASTIN' TIME BRO"

rolled 49 = 49

>>15595176
Kick him in the mouth.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15595176

I've had enough of this bitch's whining.

We use the arm.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15595176
"Lord Abaddon will not tolerate such imprudence! I am forging a Dark Crusade, either you join me, or I will crush you here and now!"
Arm infusing commences.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15595176
Change of plan, infuse him into your dick.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15595176
fist-fuck time?

rolled 86 = 86

>>15595176
Make fun of it for being old.

Imply it's senile, and needs adult diapers.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15595176
Remind him we've been around since the Horus Herasy and threaten to pimp slap him if he doesn't get into your other arm.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15595207
But you're 10000 years old, too.

I say infuse him into your arm. using sindri

rolled 22 = 22

>>15595130

so back to plan one
>>15595176

>We use the arm

>>15595213
Dude, we're ELEVEN thousand years old. Bitchslap him.

rolled 36 = 36

rip of his arms

then glue them to yourself

rolled 20 = 20

SLAP HIS SHIT
HAVE DOOMRIDER SLAP HIS SHIT
THEN TELL SORCERERS TO BIND HIM.

rolled 45 = 45

Make him bring us some spare daemonic arms

>>15595191
>>15595212
You slap the daemon across the face using Sindri, hurting both of them. You inform him that you too are a 10,000-year veteran, and threatened to continue harming him unless he infuses with your arm.

The daemon spits. "HOW DARE YOU! I AM M'KAR THE REBORN! PRINCE OF THE WORD BEARERS! YOU DO NOT ORDER ME AROUND!"

rolled 51 = 51

Inform him of our plan to go back in time and fuck up Tanith. Tell him to make his mind up fast about it, we're leaving all the champions waiting.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15595243
Your arms fall off.

rolled 48 = 48

TEAR OUT ITS ESSENCE WITH YOUR POWER OF WILL AND DO THE JOB YOURSELF.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15595243
Have Kharn come up to the bridge. Have him repeat what he just said. Fun times.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15595243
SHUT
UP
BITCH.
SLAP HIM.
OFFER DOOMRIDER TO SLAP HIM.
OFFER KHARN TO SLAP HIM.
THEN INFUSE THE CUNT.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15595243
"I am the Warmaster of the Black Legion! How dare can you think that you outclass me?!"

rolled 20 = 20

>>15595243
Make fun of him for losing to Draigo.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15595243
slap his shit again
>same heirsiti
even the capthca agrees

rolled 26 = 26

>>15595243
"Oh damn son, I better get Draigo here to spank you or something."

We let that sink in, then we slap him again.

"GET IN MY ARM BEFORE I GO KHORNE ON YOU."

rolled 92 = 92

KILL THIS FUCK
I don't want this little bitch being a daemon arm. Sindri's a bitch so he doesn't give us shit but this guy is just a fucking cunt.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15595243
THE WORD WHO?

rolled 11 = 11

this
>>15595262

>>15595263
then this including the fact Eliphas left his legion for the far superior black legion

>>15595270
Not willing to listen to this fool's blustering anymore, you pick up Drach'nyen. You walk over to the daemon prince and bring the blade down upon him his neck. His head is severed and ichor gushes out.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15595269
rolling for this

rolled 11 = 11

>>15595315
Drink the Ichor.

rolled 11 = 11

>>15595315
Tell the sorcerers to revive him. So we can infuse him in our other arm.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15595315
You know what? I just remembered we have weapons. We've just been having Abaddon punch everything so far.

rolled 84 = 84

>>15595315
Return your chest of personal items.
Retrieve the Talon of Horus.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15595315
rip the warp a new asshole a drag another deamon prince that aint no bitch ass nigga like santa

rolled 71 = 71

>>15595315

Grab his fleeting essence before it returns to the warp with faithful Sindri. Infuse the fucker yourself.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15595315
reach into the rift again?

rolled 76 = 76

Plunge your arm again into the warp rift, trying to pull out a more agreeable Daemon.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15595315
Parade the headless body around as a trophy for a little bit, the try and get the magic men to bring his ass back to life.

rolled 40 = 40

OK, time to quit dicking around, we have a number of Chaos fleets waiting to travel back in time.

"GENTLEMEN!" I shout, "LET US GO TO TANITH!"

rolled 95 = 95

Start prodding around that tear in reality again. Maybe we can snag ourselves a Demonette arm.

Rip another hole into the warp and fish out another daemon using your arm

rolled 83 = 83

Grab in the warp
Look for some other daemon prince

rolled 6 = 6

LET SINDRI ABSORB HIS SOUL
GIVE SINDRI HIS POWER

rolled 40 = 40

>>15595353
this

rolled 83 = 83

Rip apart the daemon prince's body. Search for souls.

rolled 77 = 77

>>15595398

Pull it through in a more gentle manner. Wouldn't want to cause undue harm.

>>15595356
You shove Sindri arm back into the warp tear. He lets out another psychic scream, further expanding the rip.

You fondle around in the immaterium until you grab hold of something. It's not as strong this time.

"Who are you?! Release me now!" it shouts

rolled 68 = 68

>>15595398
"Lord Ezkyle Abaddon the Despoiler! Name yourself, worthless warpspawn!"

rolled 97 = 97

>>15595407
"Name's Easy Kyle, and you're coming with me or I'm coming on you"
Then pull.

>>15595406
You begin pulling in the thing, this time less rough. It thrashes around violently and flails in your hands.

"Let go! I will feed you your own spleen, dog!" it shouts

The warp being rips at your arm and attempts to break free. However, Nurgle has blessed you with stubborn resistance and fortitude. The thing thrashes and tears buy you ignore it's actions as you slowly pull it out.

Soon, your arm is out of the immaterium and a soul is in your grasp.

"Bastard! I will destroy you for the Black Legion!" it screams

rolled 10 = 10

>>15595453
"I am the Black Legion! Don't you recognize your master?"

rolled 21 = 21

>>15595453

You will SERVE the Black Legion!

INFUSE!

rolled 7 = 7

>>15595453
no i am the black legion.
the we became horus

rolled 43 = 43

>>15595453
"Bitch please. I'm The Despoiler, and I've got an arm with your name on it."

Then bind him to the arm.

rolled 50 = 50

"Bitch I'm your fucking warmaster!"

rolled 12 = 12

Hug him. Hard.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15595453
STICK ARAGHAST'S SOUL IN M'KARS BODY. TWo AWESOMES, FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

rolled 9 = 9

Punch it in it's ghost face with Sindri. Then bind it to your codpiece.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15595506

I liked something in this.

BIND IT AND DUB THE NEW APPENDAGE 'GHOST FACE KILLA'"

Going to be gone for about 30 minutes. Gotta do IRL shit, sorry.

>>15595524

OP, in case you don't come back, this quest is awesome and you should feel awesome.

rolled 48 = 48

HAS THIS THREAD BEEN ARCHIVED!?!?

Alright, I'm back. Sooner than expected.

>>15595518
You swing Sindri at the soul, hitting it and stunning it with a burst of warp energy. You then grab the soul and press it against your codpiece. Using Sindri's sorcerous power you personal bind the soul to your codpiece with the arm.

Your new daemon codpiece screams. "HOW DARE YOU! Who the hell do you think I am? I am Araghast the Pillager! Master of Hounds! The Lash of the Black Legion!"

Abaddon has never kicked so much ass than in this thread. You're awesome, OP.

>>15595654
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15593949/
Yes

rolled 8 = 8

>>15595666
"Shit, we were looking for you!"
Release him from the codpiece and have him be bound to M'kars corpse.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15595666
PELVIC THRUST THE NEW CODPIECE INTO SINDRI'S FACE AND YELL "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ARE WHAT I SAY YOU ARE!"

rolled 97 = 97

>>15595654
the first on has

rollin for this
>>15595456
then asking who it is

rolled 37 = 37

>>15595666

And now you're my codpiece.

Let's kick this fucking Crusade off already.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15595666
We're done here.

Pick up the Talon of Horus from the chest of personal items and set rout to the time portal.

You know? We need to really thank that Iron Warrior who gave us these arms. He clearly did a fucking great job.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15595666
this is why I love /tg/

rolled 68 = 68

>>15595666
"Well you're Ghost Face Killa now and you better listen to what I, Easy Kyle Abaddon, have to say. And I say, We're going to Tanith! In the past!"
Call up Ahriman and let's get this show on the road.

>>15595689
You inform Araghast that you are, in fact, Abaddon the Despoiler.

"Oh shit...m-master Abaddon I'm sorry for insulting you earlier!" he says "How may I serve you once more?"

rolled 17 = 17

>>15595751
Bring him out of your codpiece and into your arm.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15595751
"Easy Kyle thinks it's time to go to Tanith"
Call up the sorcerers to call up Ahriman and let's get this circus on the road.

rolled 41 = 41

>>15595751

You will FUCK BITCHES on this glorious Crusade!

ALL ABOARD TO PAST TANITH!

rolled 41 = 41

>>15595751
GET READY TO FUCK SHIT UP IN THE PAST
TELL AHRIMAN IT'S TIME

rolled 32 = 32

>>15595751

GET INSIDE MY LEFT ARM, CUNT.

AND LET'S KICK OFF THIS BLACK CRUSADE. TAKE OUR SHIPS THROUGH TIME!

rolled 63 = 63

>>15595751
CRUSADE
NOW

rolled 54 = 54

>>15595751
let's go slap some shit.

>>15595777
>>15595800
You tell Araghast he will serve in battle once the Black Crusade begins.

"Very well, my lord." he says

You open the vox channel and tell Ahriman it's time to begin. "Excellent news Abaddon. Tell all the sorcerers aboard the ships you wish to bring to tune into my channel so that I may tell what to do."

More vox chatter breaks in. Eliphas informs you that his serfs have managed to capture a mulititude of jokaero.

What now, badass Warmaster?

rolled 28 = 28

>>15595849

GO DO AN INSPECTION OF YOUR PRIZED SOLDIERS.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15595849
TO TANITH!
Also make sure the jokaero are watch 24/7, don't want them running off.

rolled 57 = 57

>>15595849
Fill the engine rooms with them.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15595849
Araghast... time to fap again
Use Sindri again. Cum on the codpiece.

rolled 33 = 33

Take off your mechanical arms and get the Jokaero to improve them.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15595849
aim straight for the golden throne

rolled 41 = 41

Why not just go back in time to fuck up the god emperor as a baby?

rolled 4 = 4

>>15595899
That was ~49000 years ago!

rolled 88 = 88

>>15595912
So? I say we do it.

rolled 15 = 15

TELL EVERYONE TO GET THE FUCK READY FOR TANITH

rolled 28 = 28

>>15595920
THE BLOOD GOD DEMANDS IT

rolled 56 = 56

>>15595849
Teach them to sing Baloo's song from the Jungle Book.
This will be the new prayer of the Jokaero to the Dark Gods.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15595920
It will cause a paradox since without the Emperor, the Void Dragon would eat the earth and we couldn't've been born!

rolled 93 = 93

>>15595849
Get the bananas.

We must go to the Jokaero.

Then we must get them to teach us their wise simian ways.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15595930
And chaos would ensue.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15595929
THIS
And are those fliers done? Drop them all over modern-day Cadia

rolled 36 = 36

>>15595920
EMPRAH'S BLOOD FOR KHORNE

rolled 9 = 9

>>15595943
HIS SKULL FOR THE SKULL THRONE.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15595929
This, only with King Louie the Orangutang's song. Baloo's the bear, bro.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15595950
The skull throne shall usurp the Golden Throne!!

rolled 75 = 75

>>15595920
Use Khorne's pure rage to propel you back in time.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15595849
...Ask him how much is a "multitude."
If there are enough we can put them in a magical warp hole for a thousand million years with a typewriter for each Jokaero thrown in.
In a moment's our time, and A VERY, VERY LONG TIME for the Jokaero, we will receive the finest works of written art ever conceived by life in eternity.
We will then proceed to defecate on it.
Slaanesh will be pleased. Nurgle somewhat as well.

rolled 58 = 58

Let's just go take a break, take off the armor, then let's all go play with the alien-orangutangs.

>>15595976
>implying they won't just turn the typewriters into machines that let them escape

>>15595920
As you stand with champions rallied before you, ready to terrorize the Galaxy once more, an old hate fills your mind.

Now, you have the ability to travel through time itself. You should use it for something greater than stealing blood wood. You must KILL and BUTCHER.

The Emperor. He must die. You can kill him too. Go back in time and end his life while he is weak. The bastard will bleed for the unborn Khorne.

You tune into the vox channel, and inform the ships that there will be a change of plans. You will launch the 14th Black Crusade on Terra, 40,000+ years in the past, and kill the Emperor

At first there is silence. Then cheering and whooping. The servants of Chaos are pleased, they wish to kill the false Emperor too. The murder boners of the Khornates are so massive that the crack their codpieces at the news.

You are told that the ships are all here. The champions have been rallied. Al you need is to give the command to Ahriman.

>>15595899
>>15595920
>>15595928
>>15595943
>>15595950
Abaddon! You can't do that! The future will be changed! You'll create a time paradox!!

rolled 64 = 64

>>15595950
>>15595943
>>15595930
>>15595928
>>15595920
Let the old galaxy burn.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15595996
DO IT

rolled 95 = 95

Agreed. All in favor of going back in time and destroying Earth?

AYE.

rolled 37 = 37

But if we go back in time, so many people won't be born to be killed. I think we should stick to the original plan.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15595998
FUCK THAT NOISE. MAIM EVERYTHING IN THE DISTANT PAST.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15596039
They will have died once, and so many more will die again. Its basically doubling the number of deaths under Khorne's belt. THE BLOOD GOD DEMANDS IT.

rolled 11 = 11

>>15596039
But won't changing history mean that so many will never have been born?
You just erased them from history.
How awesome isn't that.

>>15596005
(well I guess that's decided)

You give Ahriman the order.

You look out into the void of the Galaxy, and the ships around you. Suddenly, a rip in space, time and the warp appears before your very eyes. Lightning and energy flares burst forth from it.

"WARRIORS OF CHAOS!" Ahriman shouts through the vox "IT IS TIME FOR THE GALAXY TO BURN!"

Multi-coloured light surrounds your body, wrapping around you and tingling you. You feel the warp calling, pulling your very soul and essence through into it. You see lights as bright as stars and hear roaring thunder.

And then a different noise.

"LORD ABADDON!"

You tilt your head to the side. You see one of the Justaerin terminators. He is holding two large, flailing things in his hands.

"I FOUND YOUR ARMS!"

rolled 52 = 52

>>15596051
We're also technically erasing us.

In all actually, once we succeed, we invalidate our own continued existence both past and soon-present and meta-past.

>>15596006

But if we went too far back, wouldn't we wipe out earth before humanity even left it? Hell the only ones who win in that scenario are the Eldar.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15596055

Pick up the fucking terminator with SINDRIIII

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I FUCKING NEED THEM?"

>>15596006
>>15596039
>>15596042
>>15596049
>>15596051

Shut the fuck up, the Jokaero have already summoned a hundred:

>>15596005

Time to fuck shit up in the name of Chaos and bananas! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BANANAS FOR THE ENGINEERS!

rolled 81 = 81

>>15596055
Stick them to your robot arm's elbows!
WE WILL THROTTLE THE EMPEROR WITH OUR MANY HANDS

rolled 51 = 51

>>15596062
BLOOD ARMS

rolled 97 = 97

>>15596055
Stay silent for a long, long time.

Then go straight to the face of that man.

Stick your face very, very slowly right in front of his.
Put on your serious face.

And tell him to hug him with those arms.
Because we are so, so happy.
And shed a single proud and ecstatic tear, from your serious face.

Then call for pins, and super glue. And a master modeler.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15596055

"Oh cool, put them in the fridge"

rolled 18 = 18

>>15596055

Tell him to give them to the Jokaero, so that they may improve them with their sage like wisdom.

This is autosaging. Will make new thread.

rolled 15 = 15

Have the monkey's build the arms a robot body to live on.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15596093
THIS!! WE SHOULD DO THIS!!!!!

rolled 42 = 42

>>15596093

Rolling for a hundred in the name of the Jokaeroan Star Empire!

rolled 62 = 62

>>15596093
that is a brilliant idea, will we be able to command this new frame?

>>15596109
GET IN HERE