>>17728604
I approve of our wizard powers.

>>17728604

Question Mark?

I know exactly where you are going with this OP.

Also
>Penis inspection day

It's like /v/, except funny.

>>17728604

UNLIMITED SCARF WORKS.

Also, resume POKER FACE. We are a PILOT. WE KNOW NO FEAR.

>All dat silk spaghetti...

at least it wasnt spaghetti.

>>17728604

>The fuck is going on

>>17728649
But yeah, what's with the scarves ?

>>17728604
wat?

>>17728604
Dammit planefag, stop making me laugh.
I need to do homework.

DAFUQ

>WIZARD POWER: UNLIMITED SCARF WORKS

Nab one. Become Skyrider.

Just remember that it hasn't been the real planefag since he picked up a tripcode. Guess he's finally run out of points to riff off of.

I don't know what the fuck...

>>17728649
We have fate alteration powers. We wanted some silk, and the universe provided.

We need to archive the previous thread.

>>17728604

When do we propel ourselves into space with the force of a million silk scarves falling out of our pockets?

>>17728604

>Go to tailors
>Ask for latest silk
>Get laughed at
>Scarves fall from pockets
>FUCKING TAILOR SHOP

>>17728604


You shake your head. "It's not contraband, miss." And that's half-true. The scarves belong - belonged - to pilots who don't need them anymore.

There's more of those then anybody wants to admit.

The woman sighs, seems to decide whether or not she's going to hit you, and finally digs into the mounds of cloth and loose ends in the workshop. She surfaces with a battered old cardboard box. "This is probably worth a little more then all those scarves, even, together. I shan't be moving it though, unless Eisenhower himself has a mistress. The scarves, though..." she purses her lips, and hands the box to you. "Came in before the war. Marriage went south, bride needed some quick cash. Leastwise I'm getting most of what I thought I would for it, even if it is some years late."

Your fingers wiggle eagerly and you accept the box. Lifting the lid, you get a look at the garment.

God. DAMN. Perrine's going to have to follow up that kiss with about thirty blowjobs if she wants to buy THIS off you.

"How'd you know, anyhow? That we had something?"

"I didn't. But you would've known who did, and traded me something I could trade them, yadda yadda yadda."

You walk out of the tailor's shop, feeling quite satisfied. Now, one last thing.

Mint Schnapps.

There's only a few places you know of where you can get your hands on expensive, currently-scarce hooch.

>Luke's office
>Paddy
>The fixer

Clearly, we need to stop going to shops. It keeps fucking us over.

whatthefuckamireading

So, how many robes worth of material fell out of our pockets?

>>17728695

The fix-

>REVENGE

LUKKKKKEEE

>>17728695

PADDY

OFFICE! FUCK LUKE OVER!

>>17728695
Luke

>>17728695
Paddy. We need a goddam drink

>>17728695
Paddy will know what to do.

Last thread needs to be 'chived

>>17728695
Luke's office. He's going to pay us back for that picture.

Or we'll tell the witches where to find him.

>>17728695
Wait, shit. We actually went to get scarves of dead pilots for this? Perrine better earn this, with the BLOOD OF TEN THOUSAND MARTIANS.

>LUKE'S OFFICE

>>17728695
So many good choices around me...

...I want them all

>>17728695

paddy

>>17728695
So we're not taking things from other places? Does that mean when we fixed our engine we ended up taking parts from another plane?

>>17728695

Paddy all the way.

>>17728695
>Luke's office

Somebody needs to learn what happens when you fuck with a gnome.

>>17728695
Lukes office, punch him while we're there.

>>17728695
Paddy. While we're at it we can steal something that belongs to Paddy and add it to our collection of artifacts.

>>17728695
We need to get back at Luke for this.

>>17728695
> Luke's office

Also can you clarify what the hell just happened there? did we magic a bunch of scarves into our pockets or did we get them somewhere offscreen?

>>17728695
We stea-acquire that shit from Luke's Office, his Office should now be the immediate go to for anything we need to acquire, we owe him at least that much.

>>17728695
Lukes office as compensation for that bloody photo

>>17728714

High-pressure sales. It's easier to say "no" for fear of DA POLICE if the delicious, rare, expensive goods aren't sitting RIGHT ON THE FLOOR, and if you gather them up to get them out of sight, well, it's even harder to let go of them again.

But officer, your buddies are always stuffing the scarves of dead pilots in your pockets to humiliate you. You know how it is with aces, sir, the jealously. My god, it's horrible. You too? It's the hat, sir. They're jealous of that nifty trim helmet.

>>17728695
Luke has schnapps? Good, we take his.

>>17728763
Spagetti stories, with scarves. I guess, by author fiat, we came prepared.

Also, time to get Luke back for that picture. The least he could do is provide some schnapps.

>>17728770
Are you high?

>>17728770
We just double reverse psych'd the tailor into making a deal. Now THIS is wizardry.

>Lukes office
>Kick in door
>"Hey Luke, call me a gnome"

>>17728763
>Also can you clarify what the hell just happened there? did we magic a bunch of scarves into our pockets or did we get them somewhere offscreen?


Oh lord, you got them off-screen. Few things are as good as silk pilot scarves for bartering, in wartime. About the only thing better is a carton of Lucky Strikes.

>fixing your plane by taking parts from another

Utterly unpossible, but I almost wish that was what's happening - it would be HILARIOUS.

>>17728695
Try to get Paddy to help us out with this?

>>17728770
so we had the scarves all along, yes?

Luke's office. If he's in, get booze in return for his photojournalism. If he's not, steal the booze, and leave an autographed copy of that photo on his desk.

oh good I thought we magicked the scarves

LUKE YOU SON OF A BITCH

Oh god this schnapps is going to come with STRINGS ATTACHED I just know it

>>17728803
Yes. We had a stash of them we nabbed from downed pilots.

LUKE

THAT FUCKER

HE OWES US

>>17728834
This, I'm liking the autograph touch

>>17728799

No, it wouldn't. It would be horrible!

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!

>>17728834
>leave an autographed copy of that photo on his desk.
We should do this anyways.

>>17728834
>>17728854
Indeed. This please.

>>17728834
Throw in calling him a gnome and I'm in.

Let's go find Luke, pretend we haven't seen the paper yet, get the schnapps, and then call the fucker a gnome (to see how he reacts) and beat the hell out of him.

>Wondered if Planefag planned for us to prank Luke so as to do something 'terrible'(?)
>If so, planefag effectively herded us to this course of action with the mention of the photo

mfwihnf

>>17728834

>If he's not, steal the booze, and leave an autographed copy of that photo on his desk.

OH GOD YES.

i change my vote from paddy to this. (im >>17728726 )

captcha: true guntalk

you're right catcha guntalk is a great radio program.

>>17728892
What he said. The autographed photo is a brilliant touch.

Can someone explain why the witches are sometimes shown with animals ears and tails, and sometimes aren't? Is that just a fan art thing or what?

>>17728929
They get the animal shit when they tap their magical power.

Sean insists on driving the truck - er, lorry - back to base. As usual, his terrible driving combines with his unholy love of reckless speeds makes the trip bracing and just a little terrifying. As your head bounces off the roof of the truck for the tenth time, you ponder your next move.

Paddy has the Mint Schnapps. You know it. The sly bastard makes a fair bit of coin on the side slipping expensive hooch to officers, and not all of it is acquired through entirely legit channels - nor is everything Paddy receives in trade entirely above-board. It's one of the reasons you've always resented him - theft is all fine and good for pilots; you don't live very long anyways - but Paddy is some enlisted-grade PUNK. And a stuffy one, at that.

On the other hand, you owe Luke one, too. But you're not sure if he HAS Mint Schnapps. You can always make a nice selection and trade it to somebody who does have it - Paddy himself, even - but you're running out of time to go running around, and you really don't want to get mobbed by reporters before you get back to Castle Barin.

Any more photographs of you should show you in the company of MULTIPLE women, after all.

Sean reaches Eastchurch field without killing anybody, and pulls the truck up to the hangar. Looking left and right in the most suspicious manner possible, your crewmates begin loading crate after crate of booze purchased with the engineer's bankroll into all the hidden crannies of the Widow.

As for you, you spot Luke strolling across the tarmac from the flight line, hands in his greatcoat, cigar smoking away in his mouth. You begin shadowing him.

>>17728929
It's tied into "are their powers active or not".

Yeah, the Photo. He deserves a kick in the pants for this shit.

Though we should consider the best way to use the newspaper afterwards. Leave a copy on the dinner table at the Castle, see what happens?

>>17728929

they get the ears and tails when using lots of magic because they are in tune with their familiars.

>>17728929
Witches have familiars. When they do magic aspects of the familiars show up. It's why I was asking if the MC would suddenly sprout coyote ears when he was being awesome last thread.

Wait, how did we go from magically linked clock store to spaghetti scarves? If there was a thread I missed, then somebody needs to archive that shit.

>>17728933

>Loading the alcohol

God. I hope we bought some of the good stuff. A disappointed Sakamoto is not going to be nice to behold.

>>17728946
We grow a gnome hat.

>>17728946
I damn well hope not. All subtlty would be lost

>>17728967

trust in your crew is principle 1. they can handle it.

>Our faces when it's the "cheap shit"

>>17728933
TACTICAL SCHNAPPS-JACKING ACTION

REMEMBER THE BASICS OF BOOZE LIFTING, SNAKE

These Schnapps better be the last thing we need. We haven't trolled any of the witches other than Perrine, and she's no fun, for quite some time.

>>17728967
We're American, so we'd grow a Sioux war bonnet. A Brit would grow a powdered wig, and an Irishman would grow a Leprechaun hat. A Scotsman, idunno.

>>17729013
I don't think we've picked up a rape whistle yet. We were actually serious about that, you know.

>>17729050
Scotsman gains invulnerability until his head his cut off

>>17729050
Kilt.

>Blank Captcha... How am I supposed to type a blank captcha?

>>17729050
head-kilt?

>>17729050
A scotsman would grown a war Bonnet.

>>17729055
Maybe get a soccer ref whistle from the Brits?

Predictably, Luke makes straight for the O-Club. Legend holds that he'd get soused at gala parties all night, then be carried to his fighter for dawn patrol in the morning, still dressed in his dinner clothes. You suspect he flew himself in from Castle Barin to pick up paperwork before the afternoon round of staff meetings, so you don't have much time.

Slipping into the O-Club, you tug your cap low over your eyes, and scan the room. Luke has taken up position at one end of the bar, already halfway through his pint. Paddy is idly polishing the bar, dark, watchful eyes flicking about, looking for the next son-of-a-bitch intent on making him work. You saunter in a generic fashion up to the bar, trying to look like a pilot fresh from the flight-line shrugging off the early-spring chill.

You lean against the bar with feigned weariness, keeping your cap bill over your face. Softly, so softly it barely carries above the squeak of Paddy's bar-rag, you speak.

"How 'bout a pint, Paddy?"

The bar-rag stops squeaking. Paddy's motions become stattaco with restrained bloodlust, and you hear him filling a pint with almost liquid grace. You know this means he's pissed, and in fine form.

The mug comes screaming down the freshly-polished bar, blurring with the violence of Paddy's throw. The man has a career in the big leagues someday, he really does.

>>17729050
It's called a tam-o-shanter

>>17729013
We are in a troll potential phase right now, working into a troll energy phase. We got pants for the whole wing, should be fun.

So how many war bonnets could we fit on a B-52?

>>17729081
We should gather everyone around when we get back to hand out the shopping, but then just give them the pants instead.

>>17728933
If he catches us, there is only one logical conclusion:

WIZARD DUEL.

>>17729082
Mhhhhm. A lot?

>>17729082
Exactly twelve.

>>17729082

yes. we could carry a number of war bonnets

>>17729082
I swear to god, that's the best thing to come out of this whole fucking quest.

>>17729074
We "accidently" knock over the pint. MOAR POLISHING YOU LOUSY MICK.

>>17729074
The smell of SHENANIGANS is in the air. Or maybe it's Paddy's armpits.

>>17729106
...Fisticuffs is the correct response

>>17729082
I want to know how many of those time delay sidewinders we could fit in a C130, we might actually have macross missile spam.

How many p-61s could fit in a b-29?

>>17728933
>As for you, you spot Luke strolling across the tarmac from the flight line, hands in his greatcoat, cigar smoking away in his mouth. You begin shadowing him.
Solid Snake time.

>>17729144

Go all the way.

Fill a C-5 with AMRAAMS

>>17729137

>>17729074

You seize it by the handle as it zips past. Your fingers sting with the impact, but you make the difficult catch look easy. Lifting the pint, you take a deep breath, and slowly drain the whole fucking thing in one go, looking at the ceiling through the glass bottom. Slowly, gently, you set it down again, and lift your head just enough to look at Paddy from under the brim.

You give Paddy a slow, smug smirk. As a pilot, you know how to do the smug prick smirk like no other kind of man alive. Word of your imminent transfer must've gotten around, so Paddy knows you two will never have this battle again. Your eyes twinkle with the joy of final victory.

"Hey, *Paddy.* How 'bout another one, for the road?"

For the rest of your life you will struggle, and fail, to capture the majesty of the next 1.5 seconds. Paddy moves like liquid fury, the force of unchained rage surging through every taught muscle of his powerful body. The mighty, ponderous power of a tidal wave and the intense, stunningly swift discharge of lighting - Paddy impossibly embodies them both in the strength of his throw. The ceramic pint screams down the wooden bar like a fighter in a full power dive, and for the rest of your days you will swear it left a smoking trail of scorched wood on the bartop as it passed.

You calmly watch this magnificent projectile scream past, fly clear down the bar, and slam into Major Frank Luke's chest with shattering force.

>>17729201
Bravo, sir! Good show!

>>17729201
gg

>>17729144
>>17729144
C-130 VOLUME: 4,500ft³
Volume Sidewinder missile (Body, not counting fins): 194 ft^3

TOTAL SIDEWINDERS BY VOLUME: 23

>>17729201

Good show, old boy!

>>17729201
BAR FIGHT!

>>17729201
>>17729201

no words

>>17729201
Glorious.

>>17729201
ULTIMATE TROLL

Now grab the schnapps and run

>>17729201

>>17729201
Glorious

>>17729201

>>17729190
Forget about that. Lets fill the Hindenburg.

>>17729201
Beautiful.

>>17729201
G FUCKIN' G

>>17729201

>>17729246

Three. Maybe. There isn't much space in a blimp.

>>17729201

>>17729201
JUST


AS
FUCKING


PLANNED!

Magnificent.

>>17729201
Time to get those Schnapps, right?

>>17729225
200 feet cubed? Dont think they make missiles that fuckheug.

this thread man...

>>17729201
RAISING THE DRAWFRIEND SIGNAL THIS NEEDS TO BE IMMORTALIZED

>>17729258
Not a blimp. The Hindenburg. How many Sidewinders fit in 470,000 lb?

>>17729201

>>17729298

The Hindenburg is a blimp. ... Isn't it?

>>17729325


zeppelins aint blimps.

Dirigible=/=blimp.

>>17729292
It will take about 12 threads, if past history is right.
>>17716614

>>17729342
>>17729338

What's the difference?

>>17729325
I cannot believe some hasn't heard the the Hindenburg yet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LZ_129_Hindenburg

"OH THE HUMANITY"

>>17729325

That's like calling the Titanic a dinghy.

>>17729201

The blow knocks Luke clean off his stool, the contents of the stein fountaining over his face, his leather flight jacket, and his immaculately pressed and prepared dress uniform.

"GOTCHA, YOU SMUG FUCKER!" Paddy crows with uninhibited glee. He slams his fist into the bartop again and again, cackling like a wild man as he thrusts a finger at you, many, many months of barely-suppressed hate bubbling forth in a mirthful tide of victory. "THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE THE LAST SAY, BUT YOU AIN'T SHIT, BITCH!"

"Oh, Private Delson." Luke's voice burns through the air like the sibilant rumble of air near an open furnace. Paddy freezes, his fist still raised for another victory pound, and his head swivels to the end of the bar.

Frank Luke, completely soaked in beer and suds, has leapt over the bar, his own barstool in his hands.

The ones that are typically bolted to the floor.

"Delson, you have fucked up now."

The screams and roars of Frank Luke and Private Delson as Luke does his damndest to murder the hapless bartender roar throughout the O-Club. As half the base crowds 'round to witness the asskicking of the century, you casually stroll into the back storeroom, dig under some burlap sacks, take quick inventory of Paddy's stash, and pocket two hefty-sized bottles of Mint Schnapps, still sealed.

>>17729374

blimps dont have a rigid frame. they cant get anywhere near as big because of it.

I can't think of the enemies as anything but this

>>17729394
take pictures

>>17729374
Blimp is simple a huge bag of hot air/hydrogen/whatever. Dirigible has a rigid frame inside and the lifting element is usually in internal bags. Harder to pop.

YES! BEST END!

>>17729394
Great success

>>17729289
I did some calculations and got 2 feet cubed, which can't be right either....

.>>17729394
Acheivement unlocked: Smooth Operator

>>17729394
>you have fucked up now
Haha!
Revenge on Luke AND getting the schnapps for free.

>>17729394

good show.

>>17729416
Oh god, that'd be fucking awesome, but I don't think we can get a camera that quick. Maybe someone nearby has one.

rolled 19 = 19

>>17729394
Yes.

>>17729374
The Hindenburg had a metal skeleton for strength and was several times larger than any blimp today (it was the largest flying object in history). It was also filled with hydrogen, which is highly flammable. It did not end well.

>>17729421
>>17729401

Ah. Thanks. Once again I learned something new from /tg/. I love this board.

>>17729394
>>17729201
fuck yes

>>17729394
Mission Accomplished.

>>17729394
Now all we need is that rape whistle.

>>17729394

Excellennnnnt...

Now grab that electric cat and GTFO before those two finally stop and come running for our heads!

>>17729394

Glorious!

We walk out LIKE A BOSS.

We find our crew and Perrine LIKE A BOSS

And we fly the fuck out of here LIKE A BOSS

>>17729374

Difference: The Hindenburg was 800 feet long, and carried ~70 passengers in Ocean-liner grade comfort on transatlantic flights at 80mph.

Largest Airship ever built.

>>17729444
>It did not end well
Ya don't say

Have we aquifer the items in the other list? The one charlotte gave us?

>>17729394
OP, you are glorious. You ought to take one of those bottles of Paddy's good stuff to keep this going.

Havent had this much fun since maidquest.

>>17729444
Also the skin was impregnated with rocket fuel to make it air and water tight. That was a bad idea.

>>17729444

>. It was also filled with hydrogen

because america is the country with most of the worlds helium and they had embargoed the nazis already. FUCKING AMERICA

>>17729394

You head for the administration offices, in the base of the control tower, a bullshit story of a parting gift of alcohol for your Major prepared, but by the time you get there all the secretaries are streaming out of the base. The loudspeakers are going:

"All Hear This, All Hear This, Luke beating the shit out of the bartender, repeat, fight in the O-Club!"

You stroll into Luke's office unopposed, liberate a bottle of fine cognac for Sean, and from your pocket produce a copy of the morning's newspaper. On the picture of you and Perrine, you take Luke's own pen and write, "To my mighty asshole of an officer, SIR," and sign it in a huge, flourishing hand for added effect.

Perrine is waiting for you by your plane, idly twirling a pair of handcuffs around one finger. "You get everything?"

You look over your shoulder at the control tower, which is rapidly being emptied as people rush towards the O-Club.

"Yeah, I think we should get our asses in the air. Now."

For the final touch, you dig under your seat for your Mae West, and remove the clipped-on rescue whistle, stashing it in your pocket.

>Back to the Castle!
>Altitude?
>Manner of flight?
>Formation?

>>17729405
Were they supposed to be anything else? Also:

>>17729394
Awesome. Now EVADE before those two fucks realize what's going on.

>>17729394
I don't really have an appropriate image with which to express myself.

>>17729478
Let's just take a nice easy flight back. It's time for some relaxation.

>>17729478

>CHERRY TOPPING OF AWESOME

>Words cannot express my satisfaction

>>17729478

High, slow, who gives a fuck.

Get the plane as cold as possible.

>>17729463
"Zee exploding is only a minor issue. Please continue to enjoy the flight"

>>17729478
BACK TO THE CASTLE

>>17729289
Math checks out. Check the dimensions on wikipedia

>>17729478
High, fast, and close. Let her grab on this time, then for lulz, do an aileron roll.

>>17729478
Manner of flight: carefully. We have precious cargo that is not to be damaged.

>>17729478

as high as we can. CHILL THAT BOOZE

>>17728947

For you:

>>17726192

Normal flight altitude.
Normal. Have a watchful eye.
Witch behind us and to the left? I'm no pilot!

What about one of those fuckoff huge russian planes, an-224 i think.

Fly for maximum refrigeration of contraband.

Also, ask sparkle-pants where those 'cuffs came from.

>>17729394

>>17729478
>Ask where she got the cuffs

>altitude at least 6k, Perrine on our wing.

>>17729394
FUCKING.

PERFECT.

>15,000
>AS FUCKING FAST AS POSSIBLE
>FUCK THAT

>>17729430

Sidewinders are pretty small dude. They are only 5in in diameter and 10 feet long. Even if you count them as rectangular prisms of 10ft by .5ft by .5ft they are only 2.5 cubic feet. The problem is they weigh 200 pounds and that adds up fast.

>>17729478
High, fast and uh, what fuck kind of formation can we take with only two units? Something that gives Perrine and us a good view of each other to ward against random Martian ambushes.

Or a pissed off Luke with a jetpack powered by pure rage.

>>17729460
Frankfurt to Newark is 3871 miles / 80 mph = 2 days, is that right?

>>17729478
>Altitude
High
>Manner of flight
Slow and careful, we want this alcohol nice and chilled, and can't risk breaking any bottles.
>Formation
Perrine off our wing.

rolled 15 = 15

>>17729478
>"All Hear This, All Hear This, Luke beating the shit out of the bartender, repeat, fight in the O-Club!"

There were no survivors

>>17729478
Take off and head straight to the castle. Low altitude, like ~100m low. Have the frog on your wing, as she seems to not be in a shitty mood currently.

booze in one wing, witch in another, saving the day whilst giving zero fucks. like a motherfucking boss.

>>17729509
No rolls, we have PRECIOUS FRAGILE CARGO that is vital for the war effort. I am being totally serious about this.

>>17729478

>High
>Careful
>no fucks given, just get us there

>>17729516
Oh hey thanks. I actually remembered I could just look on my own five seconds after I hit the Submit button on that.

Wait, nevermind, I'm stupid. What the other guys said. But hey, let frenchie hit this time anyway.

>>17729478

>altude
>Manner of flight
>Formation

... oh god, we going to be attacked, aren't we.

>>17729478
Back to castle. there is more trolling to be done

>>17729225
Not a fucking clue where you got 194 feet. Just looked it up

9' 11" length
5" diameter
188 lbs

C130 dimensions:
41' long
9' high (think its actually twice that)
10' wide

Mathfag figure that out, Im horribad.

>>17729536
About. The Hindenburg was built for comfort, not speed.

It's time for cigars once we get back to base. Tonight, we are a God.

Just like last night, and the night before. But moreso this time.

>>17729534

Actually, our threads have been finding that space and not weight tends to be the limiting factor, so yeah.

GREAT SUCCESS.

In retrospect we could have filed a flight plan, but now that we're fully committed, let's just get out of here at best speed.

Did we forget to stop the paper from being distributed. Shit.

>>17729594

Even so, it was one of the fastest ways across the Atlantic in 1936. 's a bloody shame those sorts of things don't run anymore.

>>17729621
Why would we want to? Perrine is going to be so cross.

>>17729597

for a zepplin itll me weight though. those things have space to spare.

>>17729583
Estimating the Sidewinders to be 2 cubic feet, which is probably about right with the fins and junk, if you pack them perfectly with no racks or anything, 1845 of them.

But that is 369,000 pounds, while the C130 only has a 45,000 pound payload. So only 225 with the plane actually able to fly.

>>17729573
>attacked
>holding precious cargo
CRAP THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT ONE MISSION OF ACE COMBAT X
>go too fast
>cargo is ruined
>move too much
>cargo is ruined
>move too rapidly
>cargo is ruined
>get hit hard enough
>cargo is ruined
>dive too steeply
>cargo is ruined
>climb too steeply
>cargo is ruined
>sneeze at the wrong moment
>cargo is ruined

>>17729621
Well, if we let Perrine know about it, I'm sure she'll destroy every shipment of newspapers that threaten to approach the base.

So we still give zero fucks AND she takes care of this problem for us.

>>17729621
It was already distributed, the base just doesn't get any copies until the day after.

>>17729597
And more importantly, delivery is the real sticking point. We'd have to jury-rig some delayed firing switch if we're gonna put them in bomb bays.

JUST IN TIME FOR A SW quest. YES

>>17729625
Every couple of years someone says their going to bring them back. Never going to happen, Unfortunately. Ships are big and planes are faster.

>>17729651
This sounds like a plan.

>Get back to base
>Show Perrine the paper
>Ask her to autograph it before we get it framed

>>17729675
Oh come on, we need to get Sakamoto one at least.

>>17729670
>Four hours into the quest
>JUST IN TIME

>>17729651
This. Eventually someone on base will see it, but for now she'll take care of any ensuing shitstorm while we figure out this whole gnome bullshit.

>>17729686
This.

>>17729670
HGGGGGGNNNN

rolled 99 = 99

>>17729074
Do remember that the B-52 had in board hard points on the wings. These allow the mounting of either bombs or cruise missiles. Probably could jam some sidewinders on them. We ar talking like 5 1000 lb bombs in length if memory serves.

>>17729686
>>17729651
Can we do a combo of these two then?

>>17729645
Ha! Knew we could achieve Macross level missile spam if we skipped bombers and went for cargo planes.

>>17729478
Hold on a cotton-picking second here, what the hell did we get Charlotte?

>>17729742
the schnapps

>>17729742

she didnt ask for anything. so just pants and aviators.

>>17729742
Ian and Sean were picking up all of the misc items while we were of shenaniganning. Pretty sure they would have gotten the engine oil.

>>17729736
>launch system
>feeder system for the launch system
You'd probably only get about a third of that.

>>17729742

The list included tools.

Theres no one else who would want those.

>>17729759
That's for Trude. We got Charlotte some pliers to pull the stick out of her ass that sprouted in the past few threads.

>>17729759

thats for trude lol.

>>17729760
She gave us a list as I recall. I mentioned this earlier.

>>17729773
>We got Charlotte some pliers to pull the stick out of her ass that sprouted in the past few threads.
I don't see this. She got back at us for what we did to her bike, which is a perfectly valid reason for what she did.

>>17729784
but didn't we crumble that up?

>>17729575
>pic related

Your takeoff roll goes smoothly, considering your plane is carrying about as much weight as a moderate air-to-ground bomb load, with all the contraband you've shoved into the fucker. The new turbo-supercharged engines haul the Black Widow off the runway with no problem, though, and soon you're airborne, climbing for 10,000 feet - about as much altitude as you can get before your short 26 mile journey to Castle Barin, in Dover, is over.

"Perrine?" Ian asks on the radio. "Where'd you get those handcuffs?"

"An MP gave them to me," she says.

"What else did he give you?" Sean mutters on the intercom. Ian snorts. "I don't think he knows he gave them to her," he replies on the 'com. "She's got pretty deft hands, when she wants to."

"What'd she give YOU?" you say, putting just the right tone of shock and horror in your voice, and all three of you crack up. It's only an hour past nooon, and for a change, the day is gorgeous, especially from ten-thousand feet.

"Tally ho, six on your nose!"

"Right, time to earn our pay."

"Sean," Ian asks. "Bearing on that chatter?"

"Does it look like I've got a triangulation rig, Mac?"

"Scratch one firebee!"

"They sound close, from the signal strength," Sean muses. "Lemme warm up the set."

"We can't," you remind him.

"Sure we can. I stacked the bottles 'round the edge of the dish. Hell, the refrigeration might improve it." A minute or two later, Sean complains; "no joy."

You change radio frequencies as you resolve on calling the operator. "Sheffield Tower, this is BlackBird One-One, copy back?"

>>17729525
An Antonov, you say?

Where DID she get those cuffs?

>>17729784
Her list was regular groceries and stuff, I'm sure we can assume we got those at some point.

>>17729802
I'm also referring to her WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ENGINES, ARE YOU A WIZARD? interrogation. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

>>17729814
Awwww shit COMBAT.

>>17729814
Aw snap.

oh god, broken bottles everywhere.

>>17729814

>INCOMING

Oh shit. Called it.

>>17729850
>>17729814

>combat
>with our contraband

FUCK THAT, fly low, stay the fuck out of the way, and warm up the turret before we get shot down

I swear to Gnome Coyote Jesus can we go one day without running into Martians to kill? This damn war is getting in the way of our trolling.

>>17729823
She just needs her cylinders lubricated.

>>17729814
NO, FLY AWAY AND PROTECT THE BOOZE.

>>17729823
To be fair, she's a machine head and speed freak.

Besides, she was subtle.

>nt rndfals>17729766
We were jamming 47 in a B52 that couldnt fire them either. We just used theoretical sidewinders that fire after a few second of free fall, and Hercules were made for flinging shit out the back.e

>>17729877
>Grabbed be the collar
>Dragged into the garage
>Interrogation
>Subtle

Jesus Christ, what's your idea of overt?

>>17729823
She wanted to know if we were a mechanic because she needs one, it had nothing to do with magic.

>>17729891
Everything burning

[x] PROTECT THE BOOZE
We should go to the castle and get some Witches for backup.
And by backup I mean spectators.

>>17729814

Call ahead to the 501st

"Girls, we got incoming. If you don't want your stuff in the channel, please get here right fucking now."

>>17729904
Good man. I like your style

Shit. Can we even fight well with all this cargo?
Even if we abandoned any hope of not breaking it all I imagine it'd slow us down way too much and we'd die horribly, technomancy or no technomancy.

Hopefully Perrine can take care of them for us. If not, well booze may need to be sacrificed. Really can't abandon someone just because we don't want to waste contraband.

>>17729814
Ah, hell.

Don't these damned aliens know we've got fragile cargo aboard? No sense of timing.

>>17729814
Signal perrine, make sure she knows we can't maneuver for shit at the moment and to keep the bogeys off our asses if they get to close.

Warm up the turret too

>>17729921
Actually, I don't think we can fight at all, since we don't have a combat loadout and I don't think we have any real ammo or enough fuel for combat manuevers.

>>17729814

We need to ID those bogeys. If their hostile, we can't pick a fight loaded down with our valuable cargo. For one thing, the weight will probably fuck with our maneuverability.

>>17729922

You are expendable!

That booze is not!

Protect it, at all costs!

One pass, haul ass. Might get two of them on our run with Perrine there.

>>17729922
>>17729932
This. We love our booze and all but this is what SWAG is really for.

GUYS!

WHAT IF, GUYS LISTEN

WHAT IF WE OFFERED THE ALIUMS BOOZE IN EXCHANGE FOR SAFE PASSAGE?!

>>17729959
They hate our booze more than they hate our freedoms.

>>17729891

"ARE YOU A WIZARD, SON?"

>>17729959

"Ah, hello Blackbird... is White Bird with you?"

You see Perrine shoot you a suspicious glance through your canopy, but you studiously ignore it. "Blackbird One-Two is here. Vector to the chaps getting action?"

"Bearing Zero-Nine-Seven, but they're over the Channel. No trade in your area, I'm afraid."

"Roger, tower. Thanks for the five-by-five."

"Any day, Yank. Fly straight."


You change the frequencies back, grumbling. "Just as well," Ian reminds you. "We don't want to fight wallowing like a pig - all that precious cargo, remember?"

As if on-cue, the radio crackles again.

"Buzz-bombs, breaking through!"

"I've got no position! FUCK!"

"Command, tally five... perhaps eight buzz-bombs straight inbound!"

Buzz-bombs, or rocket bombs, are vile little motherfuckers. The Germans have been using a similar weapon against Martian bases for months, but the Martian weapon is still king of the standoff roost. There's several different kinds and several different ways they've been witnessed being launched, but they all share three common characteristics.

They fly low. And very, very fast. And wherever they hit, people die.

"Coming right our way. Want to take a swipe?" Sean asks.

Well, why not. But what of "Blackbird Two-Two?"

>How will you work with - or against - your wingwitch?

>>17729959
I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA WORK ON THIS ONE

we have about a quarter tank of fuel and we packed light on the ammunition to haul more shit. we really CANT fight right now.

one pass haul ass.

>>17729970
And that's why we fight.

>>17729959
That just defeats the purpose. If we give the martians our booze, what will it have all been for.

Work WITH because we want our fucking cargo intact.

>>17729976
Work *with* her dammit, we can't afford any tomfoolery with such precious cargo.

>>17729884
>theoretical sidewinders that fire after a few second of free fall
AIM-9X works that way when used on the F-22.

>>17729976

With. This is too important for petty trolling. Cooperation with your wingman is the key to success, remember Top Gun.

>>17729945
Man has a point. Gas and bullets have weight, we probably skimped on those for a cargo run. Perrine lacks dakka as well, just magic.

>>17729976
Is Perrine good with a gun? Perhaps she can shoot those bombs out before they reach us?

>>17730002
Aliens? Taking MY vodka?

>>17729976
She's got faster just dive and shoot. Buzz bombs in the war didn't have much strategy either.

>>17729976

We're not combat loaded, we're too heavy to make any fancy manuvers, but we can still fly straight and shoot those things. At the very least we can thin out their numbers a little.

>>17729976
Can we use our wings to tip it of balance? I've read of WWII pilots doing this to V-1's. It would make us even more badass.

>>17729976
Can we trust Perrine to not be a loose cannon when it matters? Try to co-ordinate with her and knock those rockets out.

>>17729976
SHIT

Uh... kill everything that comes our way, let Perrine intercept the ones that get past us.

>>17729976
Work with Perrine, we provide her with radar overwatch and tell her where the bombs are, and she intercepts.

>>17729976

get down to where the missiles are. turn around to maximize our shooting time. tell her to shoot at missiles starting from the right well shoot at the ones on the left. splash as many as we can.

>>17729976
Should we have her do her thing and we do ours? As she is far more maneuverable than us

>>17729976
One pass, haul ass.
Perrine can try to catch anything we miss, but do remind her that a) we have no backup and b) NO BULLETS NO FUEL BOOZE ONLY FINAL DESTINATION.

>>17729976
Work with her. Off duty and not during combat is okay to screw with her some, but when civvie's lives are at stake, no go.

Time to serious up and shoot down a few buzzbombs.

>>17729976

Drop altitude, don't let those little bastard approach and hit us from the bottom and force them to come in from where our guns can hit them.

Have Perrine to try and shot those things down before they get close.

>>17729976

Work with her.

rolled 42 = 42

>>17729976
With. We have to take this nice and easy to protect the booze. Therefore, we must guide her towards pwning the buzz bombs. Our hispanos might help at longer range. Release turret?

is her shield strong enough? she could just get in front of em and block the damn things.

she can use up all her magic and ride in the plane if need be.

>>17729976
We got those Thompsons right?
load a mag in each and pass em to Ian, he opened his hatch a few threads ago to signal Perrine in the dark. Have him open it again and hand her the dakka.

I bet the real Santa Clause never has to deal with this shit.

>>17729976

Radio Perrine. We'll engage the bombs to the best of our ability, she can cover us and try and take any that remain.

>>17729976

ALSO: Radio for HEELLLLPPPPP

We can make a pass on the buzz bombs, but not a whole lot more. Perrine, if memory serves, is maneuverable enough to hit what we don't.

>>17730081
And how will she get in with her Striker on?
Running propellers and PUNY HUMAN MEAT don't tend to mix well.

>>17730038

That only worked because A) the V-1s used finicky gyros and instruments that fucked up if it did anything other than Climb-> Level flight->Hit Target
and B) The pilots who did that were either in Gloster Meteors or Hilariously overpowered Hawker Tempests, and even then it was hard as fuck.

>>17730085
If she isn't armed, that's a good idea

>>17730085
Sounds good, equip witch then get orky on these alium V2s

>>17730107

fly under to seans door. grab his arm then turn em off. he can then pull her in.

>>17730107
The propellers on strikers are actually formed from magic, so pretty harmless actually.

>>17730107

She's super-strong, she can hang off the back.

>>17730152
Didn't the girls pulp an alien maser crew with their props?

>>17730163
they did in fact

>>17730163
Well... yes. PLANEFAG, WE NEED ANSWERS

>>17730158

only because of magic, so if shes used it up, thats no good.

and wait, isnt Ian the one shes mad at over sakabroto? Ian should do it then.

>>17730185
no, she choked US for that iirc

>>17730163

I think he meant as in, they can go away. A lot easier than say, ours could.

>>17729976
What are our priorities?

Gifts to witches in the form of material things, or the deaths of martians and the consequential savior of our brethren in the sky?

We are god damn big-time. Low on fuel? Low on ammunition? Tell us something we don't already know.

We bounced witches on a whim. We dove into a shitty situation and came out ace-in-a-day. We can take on these odds!

The only problem here is making sure our precious cargo doesn't get fucked.

>>17730189

well yes shes mad at US too cllearly, but being mad at us is unremarkable. also we need room to fly the damn plane she cant come up here.

>>17730199
It ain't the fucking gifts that's precious, it's the booze, dammit!

>>17730199

Fuck that, we're carrying BOOZE. That's more precious than PARACHUTES.

"Perrine!?" you ask, looking at her. Her weapon is up and out, and she looks serious.

"I'm no good in a dive. My best bet is to take them head-on and try to catch them in the tonnere. You keep altitude, and do that - that terrible ambush you so adore."

"Bounce."

"Right, bounce them! Then we'll cover each other's wing and disengage, if need be."

Resolved on a course of action, you prepare for combat. Perrine drops out of the sky, dropping to tree-top height to engage the incoming rocket-bombs head-to-head. It doesn't take the bastards long to arrive - best estimates peg their speed somewhere between five-hundred-forty and six-hundred miles per hour. Rumors abound of new jet fighters in development that might catch them, but as is, the only pilots who've nailed them have either hit them in head-on passes... or caught them in a dive.

Well, if there's one thing a 30,000 pound fighter can do, it's dive like a sonofabitch.

Rolling inverted, you gun the engines and tuck into the dive, the familiar screaming sound of air tearing past your wings piercing your ears as the Black Widow picks up energy. You keep the throttles in check, mindful of exceeding your safe speed, and pull back on the stick as gently as possible, not wanting to strain the wing spars too heavily with the extra load you're carrying. Somewhere below you, there's a brilliant frenzy of lashing lightning.

"They broke up!" Perrine calls, and indeed, you can see the diverging contrails where the rocket-bombs split up to dodge Perrine's magical attack. You swear silently - these things are supposed to be unMartianed, robotic!

It's always something new with these bastards. You've managed your timing well, however, and as you haul out of the dive you floor the throttle, the engines surging eagerly. Several hundred yards distant, the rocket-bomb is already pulling out of range...

Idea: Let's make one pass on our own, turret forward and all guns spamming, have Perrine hang back a ways behind us and hit whatever we miss with Dual Thompsons.

Sound like a plan?

>>17730227

make that bitch gallop!

So, take it easy, and fuck those bombs. We have altitude. Just radio in warning, turn nice and easy, and let the hispanos speak. Release the turret and let either Sean or Ian try their luck too.

>>17730227
Nonononono. You're not getting away you little shit.

>>17730227

Range is for those who abide by the laws of Physics. PUT YA GUNS ON.

>>17730227
Some death from above it is.

>>17730227
ACTIVATE FATE ALTERATION. OUR BULLETS SHALL FIND NO MARK BUT THAT OF OUR ENEMIES.

>>17730227
Fuck them bombs. Warn the ground none the less about the incoming buzzers.

MC: Use your super Wizard magic to break the rules of physics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NylmdC_uEM

>>17730227
Time to test this gnome shit. >>17730279

>>17730227

... range, that quaint concept for people who don't have FOUR MOTHERFUCKING HISPANO CANNONS. You thumb the trigger and the heavy cannons speak their wrath, SLAM SLAM SLAMming heavy 20mm shells downrange. The velocity and trajectory of the cannons is gorgeous, but because of the elusive target and the ever-growing range you hold down the firing stud till it's empty, sending every last round you have chasing downrange after the rocket-bomb.

You're rewarded with a distant, bright flash, a cloud of metal and debris..

"Got the son-of-a-bitch!" you scream.

Your rear-warning radar screams like a little girl.

"FUCK!"

You stand on the rudder pedals, but it does little good: you feel the ship rock and shudder as something chews into your right side and wing. Cutting the throttle and dropping flaps, you desperately haul back on the stick, trying to use your extra weight to your advantage.

>>17730227
Finally get caught back up after food, I like where this thread went.

can we knock them out of the air with the turret?

>>17730302
NO. OUR CARGO

>>17730302
ACTIVATE MAGIC

MAGIC EVERYTHING!

>>17730302
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK IF THEY TOUCHED THE BOOZE THEY'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Fuuuuuuuuu-
Dammnit please let the cargo be alright.

>>17730302

NO. THE BOOZE. TURRET, GOGOGO, PROTECT THE BOOZE.

>>17730302

NOT THE NECTAR OF GODS

THEY WILL PAY! FOR BEEEEEERRR!

>>17730302
again, spin the turret around?

>>17730302
Release the turret, trade some more altitute for speed. We need an out. Where the fuck is that witch?

>>17730302
>THE BOOZE
Ohgodohgodohgod
Also new thread plz.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

>>17730302
>the martians endangered the booze

>>17730302
THE BOOZE!

Release turret to local control, hope we still have some .50 cal ammo.
Can Ian see what happened to the wing, are the bottles broken?

>>17730302

Somebody please tell us who the FUCK just shot at us?

SEAN, IAN, FUCKING KILL THOSE FUCKS WITH THE TURRET! WE *NEED* THAT BOOZE!

So why haven't these been posted in this thread yet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdSj0_Fd4ds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyXz6eMCj2k

>>17730302
PROTECT THE BOOZE, AT ALL COSTS. God help those fucking aliums if they so much as cracked one of those bottles.

inb4 none of the bottles are broken even though are wing got shot up and THATS how the secret gets out.

MAGIC, USE THE MAGIC

>>17730302

You manage to force the overshoot, and two Firebees come ripping over your right wing. Firebees are tiny, swift, underarmed, and seriously dangerous little fuckers - when the Martians first attacked, only Russian I-16s or Japanese Ki-43s could really fight on their terms. With their insane slipperiness, maneuverability, and numbers, swarms of them can easily chew apart, bigger, less maneuverable aircraft.

Like yours.

"NOSE DOWN, DAMMIT!" Ian howls, and you shove the stick forward, keeping the throttles floored. Forcing overshoots is a common dogfighting tactic, but doing it without getting your ass shot off is an integral component - usually by displacing your forward movement with evasives, like tacking side-to-side or climbing into the air. Simply slowing down while moving in a straight line by putting on the brakes and throwing out the boards is a last-ditch, desperation move by pilots without enough smash to try anything else.

Like you. So you dive, picking up a little more speed to keep airborne and praying to God that a large, slow, straight-moving target won't get hammered.

"Wrong day to fuck with me and mine, blubber-lips," Ian whispers, and ice stabs your heart - it's the Ian Voice.

Ian sounds pissed off.

>>17730389
Maybe a Martian fighter sneaked away from the furball and was doing overwatch on the cruise missiles to prevent them from all being destroyed?
Or the Martians decided to mount masers on their cruise missiles?

>>17730402
That'd be fine so long as the booze is okay.

OH BALLZ.

Invading our planet?
Killing our people?
Interrupting our sleep?
Trying to steal our witches?

I don't like any of that but I can chalk it up to Martians being jerk ass sons of bitches that they are. But harming or attempting to harm our booze? That's just so far beyond the pale that it makes pure white look like a chimney sweep. Anything vaguely resembling a Martian in this airspace needs to die.

>>17730446
Ian Voice: You are already dead

>>17730446

Give Ian the Turret. Also, THE FUCK IS PERRINE?

Oh here we go, its on now muthafuckas.

Ian = Raep Face!

>>17730446
He's fueled by the booze! He must protect it!

Have whoever it is that is not in control of the turret right now stick one of the Thompsons out the window and fire at the bastard

>>17730446

"They're going for the belly!" Sean cries, and you shove the stick down further, taking your P-61 under 1,000 feet and into the weeds. Farm fields and thatched cottages rush up towards you.

"Give me the turret!" Sean cries.

"No, no, we don't have the ammo," Ian says calmly. "This is my show. Scrape them off our boots, man!"

You obey. The P-61 has no ventral gun, so if the firebees get underneath you by even a few degrees they can crawl right up to your belly and rip you open. Throttles wide open, you bring the P-61 down to treetop height... and lower. Farmhouses and windmills loom large, and the world narrows into the tight cone of terrain in front of you as you fly nap-of-the-earth.

Your Widow shudders as bullets or mini-rockets rip into your fuselage, shaking your controls and nearly sending you slamming into a passing stand of trees. The Firebees zip overhead, out in front, and as they peel away the top-turret speaks. Three brief bursts of tracers go floating into the sky towards the already-distant firebees... and one explodes.

"Pull!" Ian crows.

You haul the Widow over a strand of willow trees and put her belly back in the grass, about fifty feet off the ground, making three-sixty MPH over farm fields. You fight the mighty temptation to yank back on the stick every time a stone wall or hedgerow flashes by underneath. You're one slip or rattle away from death, but your heart is pounding with mad glee.

Now THIS is flying.

Sean cries out a vector and you simply dip your right wing, letting tracers tear over your #2 engine nacelle. More strike the fuselage, but the thick armor of your fighter laughs them off. Ian's turret barks more stattaco bursts, and you barely notice smoking Martian fighters tumbling and and slewing away. One loses control, rolls sharply to the right and smashes into a windmill.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE WITCH

>>17730629

YEA! SHOW THEM WHOS BOSS, IAN!

Wheres the goddamn reinforcements. We need help!

>>17730629
>One loses control, rolls sharply to the right and smashes into a windmill.
R.I.P. unnamed windmill

>>17730652

Killing the rest of the buzzbombs, probably.

>>17730629
There goes any hope of that windmill blowing out the fires.

>>17730592
At around 550mph of airspeed, that is a bad idea.

>>17730629
>>17730592
Have Sean use the Thompson As a ventral gun if things get really desperate.

>>17730629

>>17730592

THE WIZARD IS UNDETERRED.

Also, seriously, we need to figure out where Perrine went. We are not at peak maneuverability here, and the aleins will eventually hit us with something bigger than a bullet, like one of their fucking heat rays. We need our wingwitch.

>>17730671
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

GOODNIGHT

>>17730629
NOW THIS IS POD RACING

>>17730700

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUw2eAUQrM8

>>17730693
>>17730712
Thank you. You have successfully gotten the joke.

>>17730629

Now -this- is podracing.

>Posts: 377
Uh. Yeah.

>>17730629

"Uncontrolled rolls are a bitch, ain't they?" Ian says, a cold, utterly horrifying satisfaction in his voice. You realize his ploy - a rear-angle shot at a departing Martian gives him a much longer firing window then one closing - and they can't evade tracers they don't see.

It's much higher-deflection, but such mortal issues never seem to cloud Ian's aim, which is why he's the gunner.

"This chap ain't taking it," Sean says, and your fighter bucks again as the firebee starts chewing up your plane. From the way Sean's swearing, the Firebee is shooting uncomfortably close to his little plexiglass cone. "He's matching speed."

"You've got about one squirt left," Ian says, and you distantly note the turret whirring as Ian hands off to Sean. You pull back on the stick, nudging your Widow over what looks like a Sunday School picnic. You've a brief glance of dozens of horrified faces, and then you're over their sunny little hill, roaring down into a farming valley.

"He won't come up for it," Sean says. "He's glued to the rear stabilizer!"

Oh is he, now? You spot a thatched farmhouse ahead, and angle towards it, standing on the rudder pedals.

"Jesus Christ, man," Ian says hoarsely as the farmhouse grows larger... larger... larger... "PULL UP! PULL UP!" Ian yodels, the Ian voice vanishing as the farmhouse looms large, the upper-floor windows directly in-line with your cockpit.

At the last second, you pull up.

Now THIS is Podracing R2!

>>17730629
Those farmers have to be PISSED right now.

>>17730758

THE WIZARD IS UNDETERRED.

>>17730629
FUCK YEAH!

Keep slippery, try to throw off the little cunts, get into WEP if we need to make altitude.

>>17730758

Somewhere out there, a cow is having a heart attack.

>>17730758

oh dog, hope its unoccupied.

>>17730758
We need to buzz a tower one of these days

>>17730796
Where's Minna's office located in the castle?
Is it in one of the towers?

If the shit gets back to base OK, EVERYONE FUCKING OWES US. WE ARE KINGS FOR A DAY. A WEEK. A GODDAMN YEAR.

>>17730796

Our new base is a castle. It has multiple towers.

>>17730809
oh god yesss

>>17730758
Lay on the WEP! We need some altitude!

>>17730796
"Three of your SNOT NOSED JOCKEYS did a flyby on MY tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want their BUTTS!"

>>17730814
Blowjobs from everybody!

>>17730822

aint got the gas to play around with that nonsense. we started with half a tank BEFORE flying to england.

>>17730756
Almost 400, people. Next update should probably be a new thread.

>>17730784

Completely unrelated, here's a weird thing. It's got the same firepower, engines, and role as our black widow, at a quarter the weight. It's like our anorexic plane cousin or something.

>>17730842

We were already in england.

>>17730832
completely worth it

>>17730784
Its not unlike an earthquake, if earthquakes had loud wining sounds of the air being sheared by something moving far faster than it should. I'd know, lived on an airbase when jet pilots pulled this shit with marginally more ground clearance.

>>17730758

The bottom of the Widow lurches ever-so-faintly, and if you had the strength, you're pretty sure you would've shit so hard it'd blow clean through the bottom of your seat.

"YOU HIT IT YOU HIT IT JESUS FUCK YOU FUCKING GAWD-" Sean is gibbering from the back. You pull away from the ground a little. "The Martian! Dammit!"

"He broke off!"

Seems even aliens have their limits.

"We've still got four blighters on our six; one smoking. Looks like they're forming up."

"*Finally,*" comes Perrine's voice with wicked delight, and over the radio you hear the long clatter of an automatic weapon. A few seconds later, Perrine comes in again. "Scratch four firebees," she says, sounding quite pleased with herself.

"Where were YOU?" Sean asks as Perrine joins on your wing.

"Trying to catch you! You were moving like a freight train! I chased you for a good forty-five seconds!"

Forty-five seconds? You laugh hollowly. That was a long forty-five seconds.

"Perrine, give me a visual inspection, please?" you ask. She obliges, slowly rolling around your Widow. "Your tails are chewed up good, some fuselage damage, nothing serious, I think. You seem to be leaking fuel from all over, though."

Fuel of a sort, yeah. "Thanks, Perrine. Let's get this crate home."

>>17730889
OH GOD

WHAT HAVE WE DONE

THE BOOOOOOOOZE

THEY SHOT THE BOOZE!?

>>17730889
>Fuel of a sort, yeah.

Fuck

>>17730889

The greatest loss in the war yet. All dat booze.

>>17730889
THE BOOZE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>17730889
>leaking
FISSION MAILED
We suck, time to commit sudoku.

>>17730843

Depends: how many of you are willing to go till 2:00AM?I may as well, given my sleep schedule, but I typically end these at 1:00 AM most nights.

>>17730889
NONONONONONONONO NOT THE BOOZE. NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE

>>17730889
FUCK.

>>17730889
>leaking all over
>we lost the booze
WE. KILL. EVERY. MARTIAN!

>>17730889

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE BOOZE.

It has died a glorious death in combat. A moment of silence for the goods.

>>17730889
>leaking booze

Dont forget to archive this people.

>>17730924
I'm off at 1, so I'm good with stopping now.

>Fuel of a sort

>>17730924

If you're willing to keep going, hell yeah.

>>17730848
Yes, but that is a Navy bird. Therefore, it is not worth shit. Unless the army acquires it first. Then it is ok. Remember, we are a proud asshole pilot. Pride comes first.

They have committed boozecide.

NEVER FORGIVE. NEVER FORGET.

>>17730924
I am willing to stay up all night for this thread.

2:00am FUCK YEAH
WHO THE FUCK NEEDS SLEEP WHEN THERES STRIKE WITCHES QUEST THREAD!!!

>>17730924
I won't complain.

>>17730924
>Depends: how many of you are willing to go till 2:00AM?

I'm a eurofag, reading these threads when they happen means not sleeping through the night for me.