rolled 98 = 98

here we go

rolled 64 = 64

>>18316954

>>18316999
EVERYONE STOP ROLLING NOW.

>>18316999
>>18317000
Nice trips, both of you.

>>18316999
>trips and a 98
This can only be the most awesome thing we see ever.

>>18317050
I know, right?

>>18317000
>>18316999
>MFW

rolled 8 = 8

faggotree

A house of cards is something that seems easy to put together.
But the more cards you add on it, the more intricate the design, the more you risk it coming down.
Now this particular house of cards was bordering on impossible.
layers upon layers, shelves, doors, domes and spires.
All of it built ridiculously on just one upright card.
It just seemed so elaborate, so frail.
It was just waiting for someone to knock it down.

>>18317158
>ON THE EDGE OF MY GODDAMN METAPHORICAL SEAT

>>18317158
Then you see Sakura asleep next to a huge pile of candy wrappers and you realize she built it on a sugar high which explains the odd design.

Durp

>>18317158
Nonono.

>andyou sinned
And what of it captcha?!

>>18317158
shiiiiit

>>18317170
Why would somebody create that picture? Why would somebody do this?
Why?
Don't you see, what's the purpose? Who set aside time and purposefully spent it on this?
Why can this exist? Who would allow it?
Why?
Don't you see why?
Why?
WHY
WHY CAN THIS EXIST
HOW HAVE YOU DONE THIS?
WHY


TELL ME WHY

You see it right in the middle of a floor.
An intricate house of cards.
An impossible house of cards.

"You know what people think is one of the best things about building something like this?" she says.
"Watching it all come tumbling down."
She then flicks it with a finger.

Oh boy oh bo-

>>18317158
We're boned!

>>18317229
Hayate is going to have to violate butler code here.

It is time to smack a bitch.

>>18317229
>She
Oh god.

>>18317209
MS PAINT

the terror is palpable

>>18317229
Nooooooo.

It shakes. It wobbles.
But it doesn't fall.
"I prefer to cheat though." Sakamoto says as she shows you the tube of superglue she had hidden.
"Good morning, Hayata. Do pardon us intruding upon you on this fine morning."
"Good morning major, to what do I owe the honor of this visit?"
She motions to the couch, there you see Perrine and Hina hugging each other in their sleep.
Both looking bedraggled and disheveled.
"I was drinking with these two last night. then they me up here some time near dawn. Saying something about showing me your 'stupid face'. Then they promptly crashed in your couch. hahahaha!"

>>18317335
Hang on need a minute to climb down from here goddamn

>>18317335
This is shockingly close to what I had imagined. Well done.

>>18317335
Holy shit she's a godly troll.

We must make her breakfast.

>>18317335
Evil. You. Are. Evil.

>>18317335
Well, I guess we have a few more for breakfast. Invite Nanoha down?

>>18317335
BOW TO THE HERO OF JAPAN.

>>18317365
That's a given. And we must bento for... 6 is it? Oh wait us, that's seven. This morning we prepare a feast!

>>18317382
Sakabroto most likely enjoys liquid lunches, if you know what I mean.

>>18317407
3 shots of Vodka, breakfast of champions!

"Let me extract myself from bed, and I shall get working on breakfast. You will join us of course major?"
"Of course. I'll have to wait for these two to wake up and stop them from killing each other. ahahah!"
You teleport out of bed, reappearing just by the kitchen.
"Nice trick. Cute boxers." the major comments on your bunny print underwear.

You say nothing more and head inside for a shower.

------------------------------------------------------------
ah delicious unmetaphorical metaphors.
>OH THE SUSPENSE.

>>18317425
Well we do probably still have a jug of that moonshine we haven't turned into molotov yet.

>>18317335
Make her and all of the girls breakfast. See if Kraus can majaik up some aspirin for Hina and Perrine.
Make lunches for everyone and bread for Sousuke.

>>18317451

>LG picking up tips from PF

I...I do not like where this is going.

>>18317499
Asprin and we make them Sliders. It's the only cure.

>>18317209

>>18317499
See if we can make a hangover cure healing potion

>>18317479
We have a full bottle of sake that Sakabroto gave us back when we went to their dimension, it was gotten then promptly put in our folio and never thought of again

After your shower, you go ahead and make breakfast, making sure you take to account the number of people there.
'Nanoha. Good morning.' you call out to her.
'Mowneen.' she answers
'Care to join us for breakfast?'
'Ill be right down.'

While the bacon was frying, you get to working on the bread.
"Fresh bread and a full breakfast?" Mio tells you from her place at the table.
"Now I see why the twins moved in with you."
"I do what I can major." you tell her with a bow.
As you lay out breakfast, you ask the major.
"Coffee? Tea?"
"Just half a cup of coffee." she tells you.
You hand it to her, and you see her take a flask from inside her jacket.
She adds the golden brown liquid to the coffee to fill the glass.
"Ah. That's the stuff." she says as she drains it in one long pull.
"Tell me Hayata. How have you been?"

>>18317629
Busy but happier than I used to think was possible.
How about you major? Did you get bored in your home dimension and ask for a transfer here?

>>18317629
"Asside from whatever that wakeup call is, really good. I'm the happiest i've even been in my life."
Small talk. And she's a fucking tank man.

>Sakamoto making plans to move in with Hayate for sweet, sweet perks.... that, and casual sex.

I'm telling you. She'll force herself in our harem if she has to just to enjoy the privileges.

IT'S LIKE I REALLY AM PLAYING ONE OF MY WEEABOO DATING GAMES

>>18317690
I don't think any of us driving hayate have a single problem with that whatsoever.

Instead of romantic evenings it is drinking contests and early morning hangover cures

>>18317726
So basically drinking contests around the clock.

>>18317739
And casual sex with the loser doing the winner of the last rounds bidding

>>18317717
I know, right? So awesome.
>>18317629
"I've been really well, actually. My date with Ursula last night went magically, as did my date with Erica the night before that. How have you been, Major?"

Also, let's prepare a shot of sake, a glass of orange juice, and a mug of coffee and tea for Perrine and Hina respectively. They'll want some hair of the dog that bit them, some electrolytes, and some caffeine.

>>18317739
And around the cock.

Mio is basically a reverse Gai.
Noisy, brash, in your face.
But still a great wingman like gai is.

>>18317690
>Sakamoto
>Can keep Frenchie (if not more) happy when we cant
>Dat Eyepatch.

Not a bad idea. But risky.

>>18317771
She could keep pretty much everyone happy when we are busy.

Seriously no one could have much of a problem with her around to dispense alcohol and wisdom in unequal measures

AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE GODDAMN SWAG PALACE

Tonight we have that bar crawl right?
Lets take shirou, kenji, gai, sousuke and touma

>>18317801
White Day is tomorrow, right? Let's make sure we're not hung over for that.

>>18317801
No, tonight we need to spend cooking.
Tomorrow is White Day.

>>18317865
>>18317878
It was meant to be a boys night out.
Apparently that became a bar crawl.

I would rather just bros hang out after we finish our white day cooking

"Very busy," you tell her as you now get to working on lunch boxes for 7. "But a lot more happier than I have ever thought I could be."
"That's good. And how had our girls been treating you?"
"Very well, thank you. They do have taht box of clothes in the closet that makes me shake in my boots whenever they pull it out." she laughs at this.
"So major, how have you been?"
"I've been enjoying the life here so far. So many interesting things. Did you know they had a gorilla on staff? Amazing."
"Ah, that would be Mike. He's my handler and one of the instructors for the basic classes."

The twins woke up shortly after you finished the lunches.
"Whyrrr they here?" Erica asks as she reaches for her usual cup of joe.
Ursula just looks at the two girls on the couch.

>>18317905
Or while we do our White Day cooking. Have everyone sit around our flat, listen to music, chat, we make sandwiches for the guests and drinks and such between working on the White Day stuff. It would be pleasant.

>>18317986
That sounds good.

>>18317927
"Shhh. They're hung over, apparently. Come here, I've got your breakfasts ready and something to drink for them when they get up."

Give Erica and Ursula a radiant smile as we start serving food on the plates, wearing our adorable apron and mitts. We're going to make the best housewife - I MEAN HUSBAND - someday.

Mix up Hayate's cure for hangovers.

A recipe we picked up from helping to run a bar.

Until the police came by and shut the place down.

Can't we magic up some fine wine for Sakabroto?

>>18318060
What is it, a cafe mocha with an extra shot of espresso and an extra shot of irish cream?

>>18318060
No use that memory and the ingredients combined with the basic knowledge we learnt from making healing potions to make Hayate's Super hangover cure!

Regular hangover cure infused with majaik

>>18318060
Well we did just get the go ahead to experiment with potion making after all.

>>18318103
Mmm, infuse that with majaik to give it a little extra spring in the step. Call it the Sunny Morning.

"Shhh. They're hung-over." you tell the two. "Come over here and lets get to breakfast."
"Good morning, Erica, Ursula. We have come to inspect your quarters."
"Mawneen Mio."
"Good morning major."
"I see you're getting a pretty good deal here. A nice place, good food, and a great man. How do I get myself in on this?" she asks.

Ursula chokes on her juice and Erica just looks at her.

>>18318060
>hayate's cure for hangovers
an egg, some m&ms, bacon, pinaplejuice and half a slice of pepperoni pizza
All blended together.

>>18318161
"I don't know you well enough, major, but you are free to stop by for drinks."

>>18318161
Just watch how they will handle this.

>an egg, some m&ms, bacon, pinaplejuice and half a slice of pepperoni pizza
>All blended together.

Oh God, that sounds horrible.

>>18318214
That is the idea

>>18318161
She didn't as Hayate, she asked the twins. Smirk, refill their drinks, hand Ursula a napkin, and let them answer for themselves.

>>18318161
Don't forget the tabasco sauce.

>>18318228
Second. We're just the demure housewife in this discussion.

>>18318161
"All of your pay for a month." Erica grins at her from across the table. "And half of it in the succeeding weeks."
"Ohohoho. You drive a hard bargain." Miso grins right back at her. "But I will consider it."
"You got Perrinne drunk again huh?" she asks.
"I only supplied the booze. They did the rest all by themselves." she answers calmly.
"I would not want to be here when those two wake up." Erica says into her eggs. Ursula nods in agreement.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18318228
*ask

>>18318271
Bop Erica on the head seriously semi-upset. "You don't get to whore me out." State that in a clear no-negotiations way.

>>18318271

Mix cure.

>>18318293
This. Haha

>>18318293
Maybe not in those exact words, but yeah we aren't for sale.

>>18318293
Oh, man, I bet Erica didn't even consider how that sounded before she said it. As soon as we chastise her, she's going to feel awful for having said it. We will, of course, forgive her immediately.

>>18318313
Hangover cure is more important
We can joke about her whoreing us out later

>>18318293
This, but add "Nanoha and Ursula have to agree, and get an equal cut."

>>18318369
nah dude

>>18318369
No, they don't get to whore us out. Hayate actually had to consider whether or not he would be willing to do that for money before. That's a low he's refused to sink to.

>>18318385
Yep.

We don't do this for money, it's a labor of love.

>>18318369
I did mean that as a joke. Should have been clearer on that.

>>18318403
We only accept payment in kisses.

You give Erica a bop on the head and fake a pout.
"You don't go whoring me out." you tell her. "Nanoha and Ursula have to agree, and get an equal cut."
She just grins up at you.
From beside her you hear Ursula say softly. "two-thirds of your pay, and I will agree."
You also give her a playful bop on the head.
"Who is this Nanoha?" Miso asks.

And as-if right on cue Nanoha comes bouncing into the room.

>>18318271

Mix hangover cure.

Warn them that they may prefer the hangover.

>>18318442
"Nanoha, meet the Major, Hero of Japan. Miso, this is Nanoha, my girlfriend."

started watching second season of full metal panic, bunto kuns are scary

>>18318442
Why do I get the feeling Sakamoto would take that offer anyway

>>18318510
Seriously, though, all jokes aside, they're not allowed to charge. Not in favors, gifts, money, or anything else. They do not get to be our pimps and we are not going to be a whore.

>>18318536
it was a joke. don't get too srs.

>>18318536
They do get the say on who can / can't join but yeah no pimping us out

>>18317508
Shit, the dread's half the fun, man.

"Nanoha, this is major Sakamoto. Major, this is Nanoha. My girlfriend."
You introduce them.
"Hello."
"Hello, Nanoha. I may not look like it but I am the hero of Japan! hahahaha!"
Nanoha joins you and the others for breakfast.

You head back to the kitchen and fix up some hangover remedy, something you learned while working in a bar in Ginza.

A dash of sake, some pineapple juice, a bag of M&Ms, bacon, celery, a raw egg and a piece of toast blended together.
You put aside this malevolent yet uplifting concoction for the two sleeping girls.

Somewhere outside, you hear the bells signalling that classes are to start soon.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18318623
>Somewhere outside, you hear the bells signalling that classes are to start soon.

Oh, we can't be late again!

>>18318623
Wake the girls up gently, escort them to the table, finish putting together everyone's (EVERYONE'S) bento boxes.

>>18318623
Make sure Erica is properly attired.

>>18318623
>ponytail
Oh gawd.
Wake Hina. Get everyone to class.

>>18318623

Mentilate to Mike that we'll be in class late as we need to take care to sick individuals.

Don't mention sick from what.

>>18318654
Perrine too.

Leave hina and perrine for now.
Let them get up later.
just leave them a note with the hangover juice

>>18318623
Holy crap, did we really sleep in that late?

Have Jakob pop out, go into Laplace mode and get everyone's clothes ready. We'll have to skip breakfast.
Make sure the lunches are ready, and wake up Hina and Perrine, administer the hangover cure, and get a change of clothes ready for them.

>>18318659
I like that. Send the girls on their way with kisses and bento boxes, then get the drunkies up and functional.

So how large is butler's harem now?

>>18318623
Is Perrine taking classes? If so, wake her up.

Wake Hina up ("morning sunshine"), give her the hangover stuff (I was expecting a potion, but whatever)

Leave Ted and Jacob here (to watch over our place and to give Perrine the hangover thing), hand out dose bento boxes, and go to class.

>>18318692
Three are actually in it, but if everyone whose shown interest that Hayate would allow were to join?

Between eight and ten.

>>18318692
3 mainstays
2 girls and 1 guy tsundere still trying to convince themselves
1 girl we are working on
the baker girl

>>18318741
And potentially Mio, as well.

I guess if we're really running late, we should go bunnymode or something.

>>18318741
People also expressed some interest in an adult-zuchinni and a Yuki.

Not likely, but worth mentioning.

>>18318759
and adult lucchini

>>18318161
>>18318741
3 mainstays? Who is who now?

>>18318692
Erica, Ursula, Nanoha in LEO, Hina's decelerating from geosynchronous, Keima and Perrine are on capture vectors, and Sakura is a periodic comet, currently outbound.

>>18318772
yeah I counted yuki already. she's the one were working on.

Idk about the director though

>>18318778
The twins, Ursula and Erica, as well as Nanoha are all official girlfriends - but nobody else is officially in a relationship with Hayate.

>>18318789
>Sakura
nigga what?

You meant to say "Yuki" and "working on flirting".

>>18318789
Sakura is a periodic extinction causing planetoid when she gets too much sugar or anywhere near BEARS

Ah well get Erica's dress out for her second day then when tell her she gets tomorrow off then dress the next day

>>18318732
>Hayate would allow

But we'd allow everyone! Nobody should feel alone and all that stuff

>>18318826
O RLY?

>>18318835
JESUSCHRISTITAKEITBACK

Tirpitz, Bismark and the super heavy destroyer Yamato are docked in navalbase hayate.

Light cruiser Sakamoto seems to be headed in for repairs.
Torpedo boat keima patrols the waters just outside area of jurisdiction
SS, YUKI is slowly coming in to port

Softness 1, 2 and 3 are currently on the other side of the globe.
We are waiting for the italian naval escort Lucchinni to get those upgrades she needs.

Typhooon's Hina and Perrinne are about to make landfall

>>18318869

And Hayate's little crew is now debating how to handle this fleet.

>>18318910
All he knows for sure is that he isn't going to let the Tirpitz, Bismark, or Yamato charge a docking fee and he isn't going to deny any of them a port if he can help it.

>>18318869
The softnesses are actually luxury cruisers converted to battleships

The twins get ready for classes as you move to wake the two on the couch up.
But Sakamoto stops you.
"No. It would be best to leave them be for now. I will take care of them when they get up. It's partially my fault this happened anyway."
"Thank you major" you tell her.

You hand out the lunches you made, and set the hangover cure on the counter in the kitchen.
WIth it you leave a note for Hina and Perrinne and the three other lunchboxes for them and the major.

Erica comes bouncing out wearing the frilly monster. Ribbons, bows, and frills dancing in the wind.
"HIYA!! AM I CUTE? AM I? AM I?" she says giddily.
You see the major's uncovered eye go wide, but she says nothing.
"Yes. Yes you are." you tell Erica with a hug. "Now lets get to class."

>>18318869
Hah! I like this analogy

>>18318910
Even though large tracts of flesh and many old and famous dates have fallen or may fall into the grip of loneliness and all the odious apparatus of despair's rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Perrine, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the twins, we shall defend our Swag Pad, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on dem titties, we shall fight on the dat ass, we shall fight in the bushes and in the forests, we shall fight in the cleavage; we shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, this pad or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Hayate beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New Harem, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.

>>18318979
She spent last night taking Sakura lessons

I love that no matter what we do she can troll us with it

>>18318979

I am now certain that either Erica is fucking with us, or it's too snug and depriving oxygen to her brain.

>>18318979

Oh man either she is trolling us something awful or we broke something.

>>18318979
Is that dress doped with sugar or something?

>>18318989
For those ignorant Anons out there, this is from one of Winston Churchill's famous speeches, "We shall fight on the beaches".

>>18318979
Reinforce the shit out of Erica being bubbly. Counter troll. She'll try to counter your troll by going more extreme. It's a feedback loop that will eventually lead to someone snapping and some very hot, very angry, likely very public sex.

>>18319016
>>18319013
>>18319011

Troll-mind.

>>18319031
So much this.

>>18318979
Out bubbly her, she goes gooey romantic, we go gooey romantic, she asks if she's cute, we tell her how damn cute she is.

She didn't respond to our bento yesterday though.
Girliest bento ever with a layer of sliced roast potatoes over it seemed like it should of gotten more of a response.

Also we need to test the death by frills on Ursula some time

>>18319084
Nah she'll just stoic her way through it and make us feel bad.

>>18319031
>>18319075
I can see it now

Hayateeeeaeeeee~ am I kawaii?
You are so kawaii you are giving me diabetes just from looking at you
YAAAAAAAAY can we go get some stuffed toys after class?
Sure how about a cuddly bear?
nope! I want a cute bunny
Anything for you cuteness

And everyone just looks on at the continuing madness in horror

Five minutes later she is screwing us on the roof because she can't out troll us

>>18318979
>"HIYA!! AM I CUTE? AM I? AM I?" she says giddily.

She's trying to troll us

>>18319142
And crying angry tears as she bites our ears and digs her nails into our back.

>>18319102
I think it might embarrass her but it would be cute

And not in public but in our room in private, don't want to put Ursula through that

>>18319157
not even gonna ask why this time, boner

i know

>>18319157
HHHHNNNNNNGGGG

>>18318979
YOU FOOLS!!!
CAN'T YOU SEE!!
THE DRESS IS ENCHANTED!

You safely drop off Ursula and Nanoha where they should be and get to class just in time for Mike to walk in.

You shoot him a quick message.
'Mike, Hina will be coming in late today. She's feeling a little under the weather.'
'Okay. Is she in the Infirmary?'
'No, She's in my room. She spent the night there.'
'Heh.' he answers you before the connection ends.

"Okay class. Now I would discuss the ...." Mike begins.

>>18319157
She would be on top, of course, having not even bothered to removed anything but her panties before ripping our clothes off and jackhammering away on our soon-to-be-abused pelvis. The dress would be ruined by the tears, blood, and other fluids.

rolled 39 = 39

>>18319197
... finer points of gardening during combat

>>18319204
It'd be the most brutal dicking Hayate will ever give, and she'll love every mind-wrenching second of it.

rolled 6 = 6

>>18319197

... the proper use of high explosives in a social setting.

rolled 42 = 42

>>18319197

... why there's no such thing as too much dakka.

rolled 15 = 15

>>18319197
...proper method of skydiving with a tank. Really pay attention here guys, this WILL save your lives one day."

Best way to balance a social situation while trying to avert dimensional extinction

rolled 51 = 51

>>18319197

... Weaponizing memes. You'd be suprised how useful a well timed LOLcat can be.

rolled 4 = 4

proper use of one-liners in combat.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18319197
...the entities known as SUE's, how the Bureau responds to them compared to other Meta-Agencies.

>>18319233
>>18319250
>>18319251
Why can't your rolls be as good as your responses?

>>18319197
...best uses of juggling in a war-zone.

rolled 56 = 56

>>18319281
forgot mah roll

rolled 52 = 52

>>18319233
second

rolled 24 = 24

>>18319197
... the usefulness of a puppet show during hostage negotiations

rolled 78 = 78

>>18319251
Seconding this

Y'know, he never said to roll for anything.

rolled 57 = 57

>>18319197

... why certain substances, like bear leaves, are banned on campus.

>>18319314
Doesn't make this any less hilarious.

>>18319314

Your point?

rolled 53 = 53

>>18319197
...best way to react when you find yourself in a strange location with no recollection of how you got there.

rolled 93 = 93

>>18319197
... why full body armor is now mandatory during faculty meetings, and why this pertains to you as students

rolled 75 = 75

God Dammit, Kraus, get your mack on!

...how to get inanimate objects laid.

>>18319338

Alright, that one's worth a 93.

>>18319327
That was my point.
Either he's got something planned, he's using the ellipsis as it is properly intended to be used, or he's just gonna pick something amusing. My money's on of the first two options.

>>18319321
Well sure.

"...proper method of skydiving with a tank. Really pay attention here guys, this WILL save your lives one day."
he says.
Sousuke automatically takes out a notebook at hearing this.

"A tank isnt exactly made to plummet at terminal velocity towards the ground. You would need preparedness, guts and a shitload of luck."
He projects some charts and graphs.
"The amount of terror you feel will be inversely propositional with how successful your jump would be. The amount of marshmallows you have in your pants will play a part in improving this."
He explains.
"The tank's muzzle velocity, and turret's positioning must also be taken into account."

Class went on much like that for the morning.
With it ending with some amazing footage of failed and successful jumps.

Lunch comes. Bells ring throughout the building to announce this.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18319384
Hand Sousuke his bread as usual.
Maybe go find how Hina and Perrinne are going?

rolled 90 = 90

>>18319354
>roll a 93
>too late
>story of my life

>>18319384
Look for tankdiving lessons

>>18319384

Ask Keima about how the Dossier thing is coming along.

Suggest using it as a way or organizing students for certain less-than-approved-activities.

Where nobody can hear us of course.

>>18319384
>MFW he picked the tank

>>18319384
Give Sousuke his bread, tell Erica she looks SOOO KAWAIII~ and go check on Hina and Perrine.

>>18319384
Start inviting people for our bros day. Some people seem to have nerfed it earlier, but we're still having bros day before hoes day.

>>18319384
Hand off daily bread
See how Perrine and Hina are faring
Out-cute Erica
General chit-chat with team

>>18319384
I hope they showed a video of the boss doing it properly in the TSS dimension

No way that the boss wasn't an agent for all the shit they survived

>>18319384
Ask around and invite some of the guys for the Boys' Night Out we're planning.

Except Shirou.

>>18319436
Someone hasn't seen the new A-Team movie.

That shit is all Hannibal.

>>18319428
This. We should check on our guests, it's only proper.

>>18319439
Speaking of Shirou why don't we give him his book now?
He will lose interest in anything else and won't even care we are planning a bro's night

After >>18319435 though since he seems to of summed up the general consensus so far

>>18319384
Check on Hina and Perrine. That's the most urgent thing right now. They're guests in our room; it would be terrible to ignore their needs.

>>18319448
Yeah I never got around to watching it.

Could of used both videos as examples of how to do it right though

>>18319452
Do that at the end of class for the day. That way Mike doesn't yell at us for making Shirou disrupt class.

>>18319478
They fire the main barrel to make the tank slow down enough that it doesn't kill them all in the tank when they land in the lake - after using said tank barrel to shoot down multiple enemy planes.

Then they just drive it out like badasses.

>>18319472
Sakabroto is taking care of them. They're in good, trusted hands, so there's no need for us to worry over them.

>>18319436
The who in the what?

>>18319525
It's still good to check. Show we care, and what not.

>>18319439
>>18319452

Shirou should still be invited, It's not like we're out with our swag on, we're just going on a pub crawl with the guys...

>>18319550
That's true. And a drunk Shirou could be rather amusing.

>>18319541
I'm assuming this Boss.

>>18319550
Only we don't actually like Shirou. We have not yet completed our payback for the cockblocking, or the rescue.

>>18319525
She was the one who got them drunk in the first place. We should check. She might have made things much worse over the course of the morning.

>>18319564
Or maybe this one

>>18319564
>>18319585
That'd be MG(S), he said TSS, whatever that is.

>>18319578
>implying getting them drunk wasn't the best thing
They needed it, seriously. Notice how open and honest they got with Sakabroto after they got buzzed? It was necessary for them to get their real feelings out into the open. Once they recover, they can confront those feelings as Sakabroto trolls them about it.

>>18319635
Except that wasn't her intention, she was just getting them sloshed for the shit of it. We need to check on them, just in case - especially since we're supposed to be looking after Hina.

>>18319274
>>...the entities known as SUE's, how the Bureau responds to them compared to other Meta-Agencies.


This is important and relates to other quests. I feel bad that this topic didn't win out.

Or shall I copy-paste from the IPDKB splatbook draft?

>bread
You walk over to Sousuke to once again give him his daily rations.
"Hey man. Here's today's bread."
"Thanks. How did walking round with those two guns feel? Have you tried firing them yet?" he asks you

>>18319564
>>18319585
The player character from the saints row games who only gets called the boss since he leads the third streets saints gang

The Third Street Saints dimension would be where the games takes place in, basically your character ends up being like dead pool in terms of power and sanity

>>18319666

"I've been surprisingly busy. I'll try and get to it today though."

>>18319666
We've been too crazy busy to do more than wear them. That said, they wear pretty nicely under a suit.

>>18319666
"I haven't had a chance yet. I was thinking of having a bro's night in tonight, though. I think that should be a perfect time."

Then, go check in on Hina and Perrine, just to be sure.

>>18319666
I haven't had a chance, all my battles lately have been of the diplomacy variety.

>>18319678
Now I gotcha. Naw, that episode of tank skydiving still used a parachute.

>>18319706
Yeah but he did skydive in one tank shoot down about a dozen others and then land in another tank before hitting the ground,

I mean that's just showing off but it would be a perfect example of how it is done

"I've been far too busy yesterday to test them out." you tell him
"That said, they wear pretty nicely under a suit."
"I see.. tell me what you think after you have tried them."
"Okay man. Hey, I was thinking, are you free for tonight?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking of getting some guys together and just hang out. Maybe you, Gai, and whoever else wants in."
"Sure. I could come."
"Great man, I'll contact you later after class."
"Okay."
And with that he starts tearing into one of the baguettes.

You decide to check in on Hina and Perrinne.
'Hey Hina. You doing good?'
You ask her.
'My head hurts. And why am I in your room?'
'The major said you got kinda drunk last night, and you and Perrinne dragged her up to our room.'
'We what? owowowowow' she says, the pain in her head transmitting a little in to your own.
'You really should drink that stuff I left out for you, It'' do wonders I assure you.'
'Okay, I will. I'll see you for classes in the afternoon.'
'Sure. See you.'

>perrine?

>>18319853
Perrine. Then let's tell Gai and Keima about the night we're planning. Just movies, music, sandwiches, us cooking to prepare for tomorrow, and having a generally chill good time.

>>18319853

Might as well.

Then, check on Keima's progress on our EVIL PLO- I mean, student dossier project.

>>18319142
>>18319157
>>18319204
>least strange boner

>>18319853
Yeah.
In before "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" heard aloud from across campus.

>>18319903
Oh god, what if she can't censor her thoughts at first and Hayate gets a full blast of the Dere?

>>18319872
>>18319887

Seconded on both.

We should present the many potential ways to abuse the dossier information as a hypothetical.

"You know, with this info we could basically run a student mafia. Hypothetically."
"Then it's a good thing it's in our hands."
"And not in the hands of somebody who might abuse it."
"Indeed."

>>18319853
Of course.

>>18319917
>>18319903

This has serious potential for hilarity.

>>18319923
>"You know, with this info we could basically run a student mafia. Hypothetically."
>"Then it's a good thing it's in our hands."
>"And not in the hands of somebody who might abuse it."
>"Indeed."

Both then turn away and make a Kira face.

>>18319917
Dere and Tsun are always given in equal measure. If you somehow find a private stash of dere that was not given freely, you WILL receive a fist of tsun to the face - all with much blushing and "baka".

>>18319961
So, a mental blast of dere then, once she realizes what's been done, she tsuns us in person? Sounds like DRAMA!

>>18319961
So true. It'll still be amusing to see, though. We'll just numb the lump on our head with a cool beer on top of it, and maybe one on the inside.

>>18319973
That's the most likely scenario. There are two others.

One is the Confession - presented with irrefutable evidence of their own feelings, the Tsundere turns into a real relationship - though the tsun still rears its head just for the sake of moe every now and then.

The other is Death. The Tsundere is overcome by the Warp and mutates into full blown Yandere. Bad End.

>>18319942

>Turn away.

Because, you know, we aren't planning to do that together and are only being vague for the purposes of plausible deniability.

Then again, we do have bloody super-hero as a friend.

"Are you two plotting evil schemes?"
"Of course not Gai."
"Merely saying that such things COULD be abused."
"Potentially."
"Indeed. Not that we would use said loopholes-"
"HYPOTHETICAL loopholes."
"-for nefarious purposes."
"...."
"...."
"Stop plotting evil."

>>18320032
>"Stop plotting evil."
"...Okay, Gai... But does Chaotic Neut-"
"Stop. Plotting. Evil."
"Kay..."

>>18320032
We could corrupt him - make him out enforcer


yesssss.....we have plansssss for him

>>18320061
Corrupt a Kamen Rider?
I don't think that's even possible.

>>18320019
Yes, a yandere would be very bad in our situation. We must avoid causing one of those to happen at all costs.

>>18320071
Sure it is. It means they'll either be dead by the end of the plot arc or BACK AND GOODER THAN EVER by the end of the plot arc. In either case, the sentai will have gotten involved.

>>18320061
I'm not sure you realize how dumb of an idea that is. He's Kamen Fucking Rider, Gai's sense of justice is as inherent to him as our swag, you can't take it away and have it still be him.

>>18320079
If it does, we'll have to [x] reload.

>>18320061

I'm not up to my Kamen Rider lore, but has corrupting a Kamen Rider been done before? If so, I'd wager they atoned for their sins after they realized what they did via gratuitous ass kicking.

>>18320053
>>18320032

I have the mental image of this like two kids caught trying to smuggle cookies.

"No. You'll spoil your appetite."
"BUT COOKIES!"
"No."
"But- but-"
"NO."
"...kay..."

You decide to reach out to Perrine, and kraus successfully makes the connection.

'Hey Perrine. Feel better?' you ask.
'Oh god, now he's talking to me in my head.' she says.
'Hey, It's me Hayate.' you try and reassure her
'Nonononono... I told myself i'd stop thinking about you. Your face, your voice.. WHY CAN'T I GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD?'
'Uhm, thanks for thinking of me I guess. Anyway, this is me. I'm contacting you through the devices now.'
'Wait... You just head all of that?'
'Yes.'
'EEP!' and the connection died.

"Well, she's feeling better I guess." you tell noone in particular.

WAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?
>brb. stuff

>>18320082
Note to self, future plot arc, Gai loses his JUSTICE and gains Hayate's SWAG and vice versa and have to race to restore balance before Hayate's harem and Gai's home dimension falls apart.

>>18320102

YES.

YESSSS.....

Talk to Keima about our EVIL SCHEMES- I mean, 'totally benign student dossier project'.

>>18320102
That is goddamn adorkable. She doesn't have much tsun left, does she? Just a whole lot of shy. Anyway, time to chat with Keima, Gai, and so forth.

>>18320102
Invite all the bros, there will be beer, there will be barbecue, we will catch the animals with our bare hands and feast upon them. We shall exchange knowing manly looks, it shall be bro.

>>18320139
Manly. Picnic.

>>18320153
Just as long as it's not on a roof.

>>18320173
It won't be when we start. One bottle of whiskey later, who the fuck knows?

>>18320090
Yes. see DECADE
And then again there are some riders created evil and stay evil
[shockers, saga, etc]

>>18320131
>>18320128

I have just defused the Gai-bomb.

Bring him in. "Keima and I are cunning and conniving enough to pull this off... but we might end up abusing it a LITTLE bit too much."

"So what we need from you is, well, your moral compass. You can see the value of controlling a spy-network/black market consisting of the entire student body, and will be much less tempted to turn it towards nefarious ends."

>>18320139

And then we all realize that we enjoy the works of one Freddie Mercury a bit too much, and there will be an awkward tension as everyone but Hayate wonders if they're the only straight one there.

Hayate already did this shit in a skirt, you mother-fuckers are small-time.

rolled 17 = 17

>>18320102
that's just evil

>>18320236
No, it's fantastic.

>>18320153
>>18320139

So, we just drop in middle of a forest and hunt the barbecue with our own hands?

>>18320285

And then totally ruin the whole MANLY experience by using Kraus to turn it into a five-star gourmet meal.

>>18320299
No, Kraus gets the night off. Campfire, fresh meat, and booze.

Maybe smores later on.

You spot Gai, Shirou, Kenji and touma sitting together eating.

"Hi guys, you free for tonight?" you ask the,
"Yes."
"Yeah"
"-minists!"
"Yup!"

"Well, I was thinking, maybe we could have a guys night in. I renovated my room, and was thinking of having a small house warming party.
Drinks, food, music, movies. The works."
"That sounds good, count me in."
"Will you be making fudge?"
"No girls right?"
"I would be honored to come."

"Yeah i'll make fudge. And yes, no girls. Just us men. Eating meat. Drinking booze."
"YAY!"
"Okay, i'll go." Shirou and Kenji tell you.

WAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18320299

Day 1: Hayate invited us out for a couple of days in the deep woods. Seems like a prober way to spend our time. Shortly after arriving Keima had a panic attack after realizing that he would have no internet access or video-games for the next week. Will need to watch him.

Day 2: Gai bagged a deer. Vaguely envious of his skill. After cleaning it and setting it roast, Hayate played briefly on his Violin. Not a proper MANLY instrument like the guitar, but pleasant enough.

Day 3: Today Hayate started humming a tune while setting his fishing line. When I asked Keima (who separated from his dating sims started writing one and trying to play it at the same time. I fear for his sanity.) what it was. "Fly me to the Moon" he said, and refused to meet my eyes. Odd choice, but anybody who likes Sinatra is good in my book.

>>18320329

Speak to Keima about our EVIL SCHEME.

>>18320329
Toss Shirou his book, hope he doesn't spaz out too much. Go to our girlfriend and tell her how adorable and cute she is, keep on one upping her in terms of mushiness.

>>18320329
If Shirou touches any of the munchies we're making for the girls, he loses an arm.

>>18320361
Seconding this.

>>18320357

Agreed. The time has COME.

Besides, it'll only take a minute.

>>18320344

Day 4: Hayate spread out a picnic. Not sure he 'gets' the great outdoors. He also served salmon in a white sauce. Gai and I were too polite to say anything, but I think he relies on the women-folk too much. Keima seems more and more distracted.

Seriously though, who serves Salmon in white?

Day 5: Went out and got into a fist-fight with a bear. I feel like I'm the only one who feels the great outdoors like they should be. Keima said something about telling Hayate something important.

I'll give them their privacy. If Hayate makes one more 'bear handed' joke I can't be help responsible for my actions.

Day 6: Found delicious berries. Glad I did, Hayate's been trying to poison me. Luckily my spirit companion (some kind of falcon) aided me. Gai said I shouldn't eat the berries. He's just jealous of the powers they give me.

Day 15: Apparently those berries have powerful hallucinogenic properties, and I misjudged Gai.

Also informed that all falcons are female. I feel comfortable blaming the feminists for this one.

>Keima
On your way to meet the girls, you pass Keima and Jun talking in the hall.
"Hey guys. I was wondering, Are you free tonight?"
"I shall be doing waht I do every night." keima answers.
"And that is?" you ask
"Playing games."
"I'm free." jun tells you
"Well, I wanted to invite you two to the guys night in im holding. Food, Music. The works."
You then turn to Keima "I'm sure your busy schedule could allow for a few hours, right?"
"I.. I will see." he answers.
"Hey keima, how does that little project go?"
"I have half the class and more signed up. At this rate, by the end of the week, we should have everyone's info."
"Cool. Glad it's working out."
"You know," he tells you. "This amount of information, especially the personal stuff, is only supposed to be in the hands of the Director, and some of the higher ups. We are sitting on something big here."
"Well, it's not like we're gonna abuse it right?"
"Right." he tells you as you part ways.

You then head off behind the building to meet up with the girls

>(who separated from his dating sims started writing one and trying to play it at the same time. I fear for his sanity.)
DAT FEEL

>>18320444
>>18320344

>Kenji gets hopped up on jungle shrooms, disappears for nine days.
>Blames Feminists.

Sounds about right.

Also, glad you're back MST guy. I've missed your brand of madness.

>>18320449

>"You know," he tells you. "This amount of information, especially the personal stuff, is only supposed to be in the hands of the Director, and some of the higher ups. We are sitting on something big here."
>"Well, it's not like we're gonna abuse it right?"
>"Right." he tells you as you part ways.

Well then, Keima's not only being corrupted in terms of sexuality, but morality.

Perrine's now rapidly losing control, going to come in soon. Hina's not far behind.

Only things to worry about now is Gai going JUSTICE on us, or the girls rejecting one of our three oncoming Harem members.

>>18320481
I'd say Hina is ahead, since she's basically approved already. She just needs to suck it up and actually ask. If anyone's going to get any no votes, it's going to be Perrine.

>>18320481
Perrine's the most likely to get rebuked. Twins don't (or at least Erica doesn't) like her because she's always acting like a stuck-up snotty bitch.
We'll have to get all three (both?) of them to soften up.

There, you find your three girlfriends and Sakura waiting.
Sakura is in her frilly armor for some reason, and is in the middle of bouncing around with Erica.
"HAYATE! HAYATE! YOU'RE HERE! I MIIIISSED YOU!" Erica says as she bounces up to you.
You can see the terror in Ursula's face.
"I missed you too Erica." you tell her in the most diabetically inducing sweet voice you can

She pulls you towards the other girls and you sit down.
She promptly settles in your lap, her skirt and petticoat giving a loud impressive POMF=3

Nanoha and Ursula try and hold back the fear.
Sakua jsut plops down beside you and begins to dig in.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18320490

I think Keima jumping the gender barrier and switching teams in both senses is going to be a bit of a shock to some.

Although if he's going to be too freaked about it, would could offer to keep it on the down-low.

>>18320496
Kissy face.

>>18320496

Offer to feed Erica.

Revel in the fact that we're the only ones who see what Erica is doing.

Claim not to notice what the other two are worried about.

>>18320496
Hows your day been snookums, I've missed you my adorable little honey badger. Tell them that Hina and Perrine seem to feel better and that we should thank Sakabroto some time.

Their intents are pretty obvious so honestly we might want to talk their entry over with the girls so we can get the arguing out of the way.

>>18320509
>>18320505

Troll-mind.

>>18320509
>BWMegatron.jpg
Yesss.

>>18320496
Fuss over some of Erica's ribbons, and coo over her frills.
Whisper in her ear, "Two can play this game."

Maybe even hand feed her lunch.

>>18320496
>Nanoha
>Afraid.

Now, homes, I know I just dropped in on this shindig, but wat? Even as a nine year old the girl was GAR at its moest. Especially as a nine year old.

>>18320510
>>18320509
These. We must be so adorable even Sakura takes notice, and so indulgent that Erica can't take it.

>>18320509
This.

>>18320510
>adorable little honey badger
PANIC.jpg

>>18320517

>"Two can play this game."

If she knows we know, we lose.

We need to just roll with it.

>>18320520
Erica Hartmann in a CUTESPLOSION frilly dress acting like... a CUTESPLOSION in a frilly dress.

>>18320509
And be sure to accidentally get a little food on her face so that we can kiss it off.

>>18320520
Then you're missing the details on WHY she is afraid. Believe us in that it is justified.

>>18320520
Oh no, she's not afraid because of anything like a threat.

One of her girlfriends is acting INSANE and she's afraid for her safety.

>>18320545
Or possibly our safety.

>>18320533
I fail to see why this would induce fear.

Bubbly joy and demands to adopt her, but fear?

I kinda wanna see Hayate sing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBgp5aDH23g&feature=related

Just because it would both fit Hayate as a character, and because it would surprise the hell out of everybody we know.

We're normally classy. This is what we'd look like if we were just a little more crass.

>>18320553
Picture Nanoha's reaction to Vita going CUTESPLOSION. That's about the tier this is at.

>>18320553

Because it's so wildly out of character, she thinks she's gone off the deep-end.

>>18320509
>>18320510
>>18320538
Seconding this set.

>>18320558

It works.

It works, and you have pretty good taste in music.

>>18320558
I think I like it. And only in part because of Borderlands.

>>18320558

Wouldn't work with a violin.
We'll need to get a guitar.

>>18320565
Oh.

Oh dear. Yeah, the hammer loli wouldn't do that...

Befriending of MC guy imminent, then?

>>18320600

So the to get list is now

>Piano and/or Keyboard.
>Sax.
>Guitar.

This would be totally ballin for an open-mic night.

If only because NOBODY would see it coming.

"You want me to feed you my little dainty dachshund?"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAY!" she says as she bounces up and down in your lap.
"you open your lunch and begin feeding her.
"Say AAAAAAAAAAA"
"AAAAAAAAMGHH WEEE SOOOO GOOD! Now lemme do you!"
"Okay sweety pie."

Ursula and Nanoha can barely stop themselves from retching.
Sakura just looks on smiling.

'Are.. Are they broken?' Nanoha asks the bespectacled twin.
'Terribly so, I fear.' Ursula answers

WAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18320600
Singing. Karaoke. Not everything has to be violin.

>>18320601
Already happened, in a sense. She's (broadly) part of the harem. Not that it's sexual with her.

It's complicated, really.

>>18320613
And we accompany ourself, via time jumps.

>>18320614
PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT

>>18320620
ONE MAN BAND OF FIVE

>>18320614
Stop it boner.

>>18320614

Continue.

Do not stop until either she cracks or somebody else intervenes.

If it's somebody on the outside, act totally confused.

This is normal behavior after-all.

>>18320614
We WILL make Erica give up first!
TURN THE CUTESY UP TO 11!

>>18320628
WALK ALONG THE RAZOR'S EDGE

>>18320614
Continue cuddling with saccharine sweetness and feeding each other. Let's see who breaks first, Hayate or Erica.

>>18320641
>>18320644
I feel we should give Ursula and Nanoha a break of some sort. Some indication that we aren't broken.

>>18320615
But Nanoha is gay. Very, very, very gay.

Or at least she was last time I checked...

>>18320614

We really need one of those Omake peeks into her head.

I really, REALLY want to know what she's thinking. Whether she thinks we're in on the joke, if we're trying to play mind games, or we're just that accepting of her strange behavior.

The answer is yes.

>>18320614
Next time we give her a little food, make with the "accidental" food on the face. Then, make with the cleanings.

There has to be something beyond that we can do too, although it seems like that may be more than out other companions can handle.

>>18320661
Tongue cleanings. If she doens't at least blush I will be AMAZED.

>>18320651
What part of "crossover fanfiction" do you not understand

also, Jesus Christ writing that sentence describing exactly what this is annoyed the hell out of me.

Mostly because I'm reading and enjoying it.

>>18320650

No. They already know we're in therapy, so this is even funnier.

Plus we can blame this on Erica later.

>>18320651

She swings both ways actually.

Which will be handy, because by the time she's of age we're going to need help if the harem keeps growing like this.

>>18320651
Alternate universes. It's majaik, we ain't gotta explain shit.

Except when we do. We started as soem dude recruited to an interdimensional peace keeping force, with a butler motif, then we became Hayate Ayasaki, Butler Extraordinair, with magic fukken powers. And lots and lots of SWAG.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAMGH" yuou say as she hands you an adorable tako wiener. "So good! Tastes so much better when you feed it to me honeybadger"
"AAAAWWWW, thank you my little teacozy."
"Hey hey. Maybe we can convince Mike to let me wear this always." she says as she plays with a bow on her dress. "I juuuuuuuuuuuuuust love it so muuuuuuuch"
"I love it too, my adorable blitzkrieg in a can. I'll talk to Mike later. Now let's continue eating."
"Say AAAAAAAA." she tells you with a piece of eggroll on the fork
"AAAAAAAAAAA-"
"No more!" Sakura says as she pushes Erica off you.
Nanoha and Ursula nod sagely.

"What ever is wrong Sakura?" you ask her.
"You're tooo sweet... Are you sick Hayate?"

>>18320661
Cute Chicken:

Afforemntioned tongue cleaning of food off her face
nuzzle her, constantly
raspberry her tummy
get her to do a duet with us of a super lame Disney song
with synchronized dance
Last resort: Bunnymode, repeat all of the above.

>>18320683
Hmm, on one hand I don't want to lose.
On the other hand, if they're REALLY worried about us, they might send us to the infirmary.

WITH FRANK.

>>18320672
>>18320666
WELP. Off to read the Archives.

>>18320668
Oh, well in that case that makes perfect... wait, wouldn't Hayate be more suited to the task? She's already got experience running a harem, given her lesbian army.

>>18320697
Nope, Dr. McNinja's back. He'll keep the nasty Frank at bay.

>>18320683
"What? No, I feel fine. Why do you ask?" with a wink, if Erica's not looking.

We gotta give 'em a small break here. As funny as it would be to just completely ham it up.

OK GUYS, WE HAVE TO MUSTER ALL OF OUR STEALTH AND CUNNING

We must inform them of the truth via mentalization without breaking the facade even an little. An errant glance or twitch might give us away at this proximity.

MEANWHILE we must play dumb and play our part convincingly WE CANNOT LOSE THIS BATTLE

WE ARE HAYATE, WE CANNOT LOSE IN A COMPETITION OF CUTE MOE SHIT

>>18320683
"Yep! I've got the looove buuug!"

>>18320683
We disgusted Sakura. Now we know we're in uncharted waters of disgusting cuteness.

>>18320700
We plan to assimilate the other Hayate's harem at some point. We kinda have to meet her first.

>>18320683
I'm sick in love with my little luftwaffle.

Mentilate her and the others, though the others probably have worked it out, that we're screwing with Erica, if she wants to play the cutesy card we'll call her bluff all the way.

>>18320710
If we tell them, even just give them a hint, Erica will know.

>>18320700
Hayate Yagami was mentioned, when we were considering trying to get Vita (the only other character from Nanoha canon we've met) into the harem.

I, at least, thought there would need to be a harem merger to get her in. Which just gets confusing, because there would be two Hayates.

>>18320683

We face them. And only our face. We do not wear a pokerface; nay, our expression is to a pokerface as a match is to the Sun. We turn to them a visage so blank, so disconnected, that they can feel the vacuum tug at their soul as our very presence on the mortal plane takes a long step away from the entire metaphysical CONCEPT of the situation.

>>18320683
I thought that young ladies liked sweets. Maybe we should offer the others a similar treatment.

And then crack up at their dismay, because it's clear that Erica's not about to break.

>>18320729

I am currently praying to god that LG is going to refresh.

This is perfect.

>>18320732
>Erica's not about to break
THEN NEITHER SHALL WE

>>18320727
Makes the naming simpler. Hayate's Harem.

Besides, you've already got your hand in the jar, what with having recruited Nanoha and all.

>>18320741
this

We'll turn this into Spartan Gay Chicken if we have to!

Of course, the logical extreme would be to start brushing Erica's teeth for her.

>>18320496
>>18320614
>>18320683
We are so sweet we made Sakura sick... Mission accomplished.

This is like gay chicken with Spartans. In the end no one wins and everyone feels too dirty to make eye contact

>>18320760
Oh god, not this again.

>>18320764

100% Dapper and Swag means we have exactly 0% shame.

>>18320760
...You bastard, I spent the past two days watching the Monogatari series. That series gave me so many awkward boners.

You know I was thinking Sousuke's handler needs to be Big Boss or Old Snake.

Either way they fit thematically and makes shittons of sense

>>18320752
Anyone else think Commander Badass would be an awesome poster boy for the IPDKB?

>>18320775

We need to say that when Erica finally breaks.

"Alright, how did you manage to keep a straight face for all of that? Were you IN on it, were you fucking with me, or are you just that damn accepting?"
"Yes."
"Wha-"
"Erica, when you're all style and class like me, you don't have time for something as petty as shame."

"No. I'm perfectly fine." you tell her with a bright toothy smile. "Why do you ask?"
"It's... jsut you're acting weiiiiiiiiiiird."
"I am?" you tell her as Erica snuggles into your side. "I didnt notice."
Sakura just goes back to eating without another word.

"Hey, hey.." Erica says as she looks up at you. "Pat my head?"
"Oh course my panzerfaust kitten." and you do as she says while cooing into her ear.
She smiles and settles in deeper into your lap.

As you do this you turn your face to Nanoha and Sakura. It's as blank as the empty voids of space.
You contact them mentally:
'HELP. I can't stop.'

They say nothing, and get back to eating.

>>18320760
THIS, BUT IN BUNNYMODE

PEOPLE WILL HAVE A CUTESEIZURE

>>18320798
Perfect.

>>18320779
Says you, I found it delicious.

Mayoi is the only part I was at all uncomfortable with, and since she's fine with it, I can't complain.

>>18320793
I thought the handlers for team DENSITY was Rance.

>>18320798
I hope she breaks, if she doesn't snap from being so cutesy and keeps it up for too long she might actually irrevocably change, which would be bad.

Lunch ended soon enough, with you still feeding Erica, and her still being a giddy frilly monster.

You walk back to the room and sit down.
Behind you is a very tired looking Hina.
And mike begins the afternoon classes

WAT DO?

>>18320779
Now watch nisemonogatari.
Dem sisters man.

>>18320827
Not all of them. Just Shirou and Touma

>>18320834
Slip her a warm cup of coffee and if she looks hungry a sandwich she can eat without disturbing class.

>>18320834

Greet Hina and ask if she's feeling better.

Also tell her not to worry about Erica. We're messing with her, she's trying to mess with us, and we're consequently playing mind-games with everybody around us.

Slowly turning into some kinda trolling-swagularity.

Also, my spell-check thinks that Swagularity is a real word. Far be it for me to complain.

>>18320843
Or at least, they're the ones we know have Rance

>>18320844
we're in the class.

I don't think this is a good idea

>>18320857
Sounds good, it does

>>18320868

I enjoy the idea of Rance and the Commander getting together and comparing notes.

"They can't be THIS dense."
"They are."
"Come on."
"The student body has begun referring to them as team 'what is a vagina'."
"I feel ashamed that they will be remembered as my students."

>>18320863
Those are the only two that actually are confirmed as Rance's students but so far fan canon states they are all his students ( including lily ) and he is trying to teach them what a vagina is and failing miserably.

>>18320857

>Swagularity.

We need to use this term.

"You know, I'm starting to think I have too much Swag."
"Oh really."
"Yeah, I can't even tell when I'm affecting people anymore. I just turn around and there's like five more people who want in my pants."
"Poor Hayate."
"I can't help but feel you're unsympathetic to my plight, Keima."
"What was your first fucking hint?"

>>18320857

Do this.

>>18320844

OFFER this. Some Coffee and a snack.

>>18320793
Commander Badass would suit as Kenji's handler.
It would actually make sense as to why he joined up

'You feeling better?' you ask hina mentally
'Kinda, that slop took away most of the headache.' she answers.
'Did you eat that lunch I left?'
'Yeah. Thanks.'
'What exactly happened with you, perrine and the major to get you so drunk like that?'
'I don't know. All I know is you walked away, and we were just sitting there, and then Mio came along.' she answers.
'Everything after that is a blurr. And then I woke up with the blonde one hugging me.'
'So you didn't get to talk to Perrinne?'
'I.. I don't remember.'

Classes that afternoon went by without much further incident, and finally classes were dismissed.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18320924

"WHO ARE YOU?!?"
"Scouting Agent. My name is Commander Badass."
"I'm in."
"I... I haven't even made my pitch."
"Is commander Badass your legal name, or your rank?"
"Yes."
"I'm in."

>>18320936
What do we have scheduled for today?

Seriously, that thing is like a mile long.

>>18320936

>didn't mention the trolling-swagularity

Why would you pass up that line.

Why.

Also, inform the girls of the guys coming over for a guys-night/house-warming if we haven't already.

>>18320936
Back home so we can start up our white day cooking and set our room up for the boys night

We totally need to remodel it with kraus so we can do Yakiniku, best manly way to eat

>>18320924
It totally would

>>18320946
All we have planned for today is making the munchies for white day and bro time.

So I guess the MHQ people and SWQ people live in the same IRC channel now?

>>18320966
Not all of us, I don't frequent the IRC channels for much anymore

The interests do cross over quite a bit now though so I could see it happening

>>18320936
Let us hit up the PX before we prepare for the MANPICNIC.

Maybe we can get some nice shit

>>18320983
Well we could use the ever cooled mini keg of Holding for Mike for letting us pull our little stunt with the bet in class, but they are probably sold by the dozen at the ridiculously convenient store

I know hidden blades were asked for repeatedly, as were bottomless mags for the pistols, we could always find more to look for though... Like a pocket dimension starter kit

>>18320966
Who did what with the which now?

If anyone's doing MSQ stuff in IRC, it's never been mentioned in any threads

>>18320983

Like Hidden Blades?

Also, we need to make a separate small dish of candy, and inform Shirou that he can have some of THAT. If he touches the pile we're going to need for the romantic equivalent of nuclear fusion, we're going to neuter him with a wooden mixing spoon.

Use those exact words if we have to.

>>18321000
And pray he understands the threat

>>18321000
Majaik him a plate of fudge and throw him the book and he will be ok.
Just add the threat on to be sure

>>18321010
He may not understand what a vagina is, but he definitely knows what his boy parts are. I think he'll get the hint.

>>18320999
It's more lots of fans of MSQ are also fans of SWQ, so they get to discussing things in there off topic

>>18321020
>>18321010

The threat we deliver only after he makes a grab for it, with a chipper smile on our face, never hinting at the madness inducing hate just below the surface.

>>18321028
In that case, could you post the channel info here?

So uhhhh.. WAT DO?

>>18321043

Yes.

Our smile so fake it chills even his stupid ass.

Also,
>romantic equivalent of nuclear fusion

This shit is pure gold, whoever is writing it.

>>18321043
Well I got the feeling we didn't actually hate Shirou, he is just that ok guy who does retarded shit occasionally but you put up with it because he doesn't really have many friends and can be a good friend when you really need it

>>18321060
>Read new Alchemy Book
>Show Yuki around town
>Go learn/invent new potions
>Invent Lesbionics

>>18321060
Make things for White Day. Hide things for White Day where Shirou is unlikely to find them. Maybe inform Saber so that she can intercept him.

>>18321061

Hit PX
>Endless mags for pistols.
>Hidden Blades.

Prepare for GUYS NIGHT
>Inform girls.
>Get all the die hard movies.
>even that shitty new one.

>>18321060

Stop by the PX and shop a bit.

>>18321060
PX > Home > white day cooking > boys night

My vote is for Yakiniku aka Korean BBQ where you sit around the hot plate and throw food on it to cook

>>18321064
>Shirou
Just confirming... The one from F/S night?

>>18321080
He is the fan interpretation so he is dense enough to float on a neutron star but yes that Shirou, complete with Saber as his device / sword

>>18321064

I feel like we WANT to hate him, but we can't actually bring ourselves to do it because it's like hating a puppy.

A mentally retarded cock-blocking puppy.

>>18321060
We've got plenty of time before the bro party. First inform our ladies and our unofficial ladies that we'll be broing it up until deep into the night. We've got plenty of time before we need to start cooking for white day and bro party. Lets have short talk with Perrine and Hina, ask how they are, see if they remember anything about last night, inform them that we're having a bro party but to feel free to hang out with our ladies. Lets read some of our alchemy book and get started on the classics Yuki gave us.

>>18321080

More or less, though this one seems to REALLY like fudge for whatever reason. And unless things have changed since I last read, he still turns into an awesome black man via shock due to us slipping him an incomplete genderbender potion.